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Kim Dokja had tried for weeks now—weeks—to make Yoo Joonghyuk realize that he was interested in him. Not in a "we’re comrades, let’s kill monsters" way, but in a way that should have been obvious.
Yoo Joonghyuk, however, remained either utterly oblivious or willfully blind. Probably both.
Kim Dokja had tried everything . Subtle touches, compliments, smirks that were more than just smirks. He’d even gone so far as to dramatically collapse into Yoo Joonghyuk’s arms once, which had earned him nothing more than a flat "Get up, you're fine."
But today was going to be different. Today, Kim Dokja was going to land the perfect, unmistakable compliment—one that even the unshakable blockhead couldn't misinterpret.
Kim Dokja sidled up to the campfire, where Yoo Joonghyuk sat across from him, polishing his sword with that brooding, intense aura that made him look ready to decapitate someone with a single glance. It was almost attractive, if you ignored the fact that he was probably thinking about how to kill everyone present at least three different ways.
Kim Dokja leaned forward with his best charming smile. "You know, Joonghyuk-ah..." he began smoothly, "You’ve got... really strong hands."
Yoo Joonghyuk paused in the middle of cleaning his blade, looking up at Kim Dokja with a furrowed brow, as if he’d just spoken in a language from another planet. "...Why?"
Kim Dokja blinked, thrown off for a second. "Why ? What do you mean, 'why'? It’s a compliment."
Yoo Joonghyuk’s frown deepened. "Did Han Sooyoung tell you to say that?"
Kim Dokja nearly choked on air. "What? No! I’m just—acknowledging something... obvious."
Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You’ve been spending a lot of time with her. And the others." His voice was low, serious—like he was accusing Kim Dokja of some grave conspiracy. "Does she know?"
Kim Dokja stared, his brain lagging. "Know what?"
"That you’re flirting with everyone else."
Huh?!!
Kim Dokja’s jaw dropped. "Flirting ? Who am I flirting with?!”
Yoo Joonghyuk crossed his arms, clearly unimpressed. His biceps were out and everything, the whore. "Yoo Sangah. Lee Seolhwa. Lee Hyunsung. Jung Heewon. You’ve been giving them... attention ."
Kim Dokja felt like he’d just walked into an alternate dimension. "Giving them attention ? I’m literally just existing near them–”
Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t let him finish. He was already on the case, eyes narrowing like a detective hot on the trail of the most obvious culprit in the world. "Yesterday, you told Yoo Sangah she was good at handling the tactical data. That’s flirting, " Yoo Joonghyuk declared, voice dripping with certainty.
Kim Dokja couldn’t even process it for a second. "I thanked her for her work on the supply inventory! It’s called being polite !"
"You said it with a smile," Yoo Joonghyuk said like it was the final piece of the puzzle. "Flirting. Classic move."
Before Kim Dokja could respond, Yoo Joonghyuk whipped around to Lee Seolhwa, who was nearby examining her medical supplies. "Lee Seolhwa too. You complimented her medical skills the other day. You were practically hanging onto her every word."
Kim Dokja threw up his hands. "She’s our doctor ! I literally thanked her for healing my injuries so I wouldn’t die of internal bleeding! That’s not flirting; that’s basic gratitude!"
"And Jung Heewon," Yoo Joonghyuk continued, ignoring Kim Dokja’s protests. "You gave her a pat on the shoulder. Twice."
Kim Dokja’s brain stalled. "She was about to punch a hole through a wall. I was calming her down before we lost the whole building."
"You were touching her."
" I was saving the structural integrity of the base, " Kim Dokja snapped. But Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t done.
Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes darkened, as though Kim Dokja’s words only served to confirm his suspicions. "You’re trying to charm everyone. You even smile at Lee Hyunsung."
Kim Dokja was now officially speechless. "Lee Hyunsung? He’s like a brother to me!"
Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t waver. “Flirting. I’ve seen it before.”
His muscular arms were crossed, his sharp jaw set like a disappointed teacher catching his student cheating, his gaze dark and intense. Kim Dokja might’ve drooled if not for his astonishment at this whole situation. "You’ve been playing with their feelings."
Kim Dokja was on the verge of tearing his hair out. "You’re insane. I’m not flirting with them!"
Yoo Joonghyuk’s silence was somehow worse than him arguing. His look was calculating, his body language rigid, as if he were piecing together some grand, delusional puzzle. "You’re hiding something."
Kim Dokja was officially done with this conversation. "I’m not hiding anything! I was just trying to give you a compliment!”
Yoo Joonghyuk finally stopped scrutinizing the rest of the company, turning his full, intimidating attention on Kim Dokja. "You’re spending more time with me because you’re... investigating me."
Kim Dokja’s head hit an invisible wall of disbelief. "No, I’m spending time with you because I want to!"
There was a beat of silence, Yoo Joonghyuk staring at him as though this was a revolutionary concept.
"Why?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, looking genuinely confused.
Kim Dokja was starting to consider walking into the nearest monster-infested zone for some peace and quiet. "Because I like spending time with you." Perhaps he’d get it now. He couldn’t be more obvious, right? Did he have to get on his knees, mouth open and ready–
“No, that’s not it.” Yoo Joonghyuk’s brow furrowed, and he seemed to be piecing something together, as if faced with an impossibly complicated mathematical equation. His conclusion, however, was anything but logical. "You’re trying to make Han Sooyoung jealous."
Kim Dokja’s eye twitched. "What?!"
"It’s obvious," Yoo Joonghyuk stated, voice low and dead serious. "You’re playing both sides. Flirting with everyone in the group, and now with me, trying to make her jealous."
Kim Dokja groaned. "Joonghyuk, you stupid sunfish, Han Sooyoung is not interested in me. Or men. In general."
Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes narrowed, like he had just detected a lie. "That doesn’t matter. You’re still playing with her emotions."
"I’m not playing with her emotions!" Kim Dokja gestured wildly around them. "I’m not playing with anyone’s emotions! You know what, see if I compliment you again!” He turned to leave and go nurture his wounded pride in peace, away from this idiot.
Yoo Joonghyuk ignored the outburst, his gaze sharpening. "I understand it now."
Kim Dokja froze, a horrible sense of foreboding settling in. He slowly turned his head back and saw Yoo Joonghyuk staring right into his soul. His spine straight, his gaze righteous as if he was some great hero ready to save the world and not the dumbass who couldn’t tell Kim Dokja was just trying to get laid.
"You’ve been testing us. Trying to see who will fall first—who is more loyal." Yoo Joonghyuk’s voice was full of righteous certainty, as if he had just unlocked some grand secret of the universe. "But eventually, you’ll have to choose."
"Choose?! What am I choosing?!"
Yoo Joonghyuk fixed him with that same intense gaze, the one that usually preceded a battle to the death. "Han Sooyoung deserves someone loyal. Even if she’s a gremlin, she doesn’t deserve your cruel lies."
Kim Dokja stared, his horror deepening as he caught sight of Han Sooyoung eavesdropping in the background. She was cackling loudly, but of course, Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t hear. It was always selective hearing with him.
Meanwhile, Yoo Joonghyuk’s resolve had only grown. "I’ll show her the truth. I’ll make sure you don’t break her heart any further."
Kim Dokja gaped at him. "Her heart is fine! "
But Yoo Joonghyuk had already made up his mind. He rose to his feet, his cape somehow dramatically flaring behind him despite there being no wind.
"Wait—Joonghyuk, hold on!" Kim Dokja called after him in a last-ditch attempt to salvage the situation.
But Yoo Joonghyuk was already walking away, back straight, his footsteps heavy with purpose and self-righteousness.
Kim Dokja slumped to the ground, burying his face in his hands. "Why is he like this?" he muttered, not even caring that Han Sooyoung was now rolling on the ground, cackling to herself and scaring everyone around her. She only stopped to jump to her feet and run away when she caught sight of Jung Heewon running towards her, sword at the ready.
From somewhere in the distance, Yoo Joonghyuk’s silhouette disappeared over the horizon, no doubt plotting his next great misunderstanding.
And Kim Dokja was left wondering if maybe, just maybe, he should just start preparing to die bitchless.