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Warmth. It's a feeling that everybody's felt at least once in their life. It's something that comes from the heart, smothering you in it's affection.
Michael Kaiser hasn't felt any warmth before, That is, until he meet Alexis Ness.
They were never meant to be something so.. serious. Something so personal. When he picked him up on that field like a stray dog that day, Kaiser never thought much of it. If anything, he would become an investment, a stepping stone towards his success and future victories. It's fair, right? Kaiser helped Ness regain his faith, and in return, he earnt his loyal servitude. It never mattered how well or how horrible Kaiser treated him, he was always there, blinded by foolish affection.
It was painfully obvious he was in love with him. And by painfully, it was annoying, seriously. Always chasing after him, always being with him wherever he went, just like a dog. A stupid pet dog, distracted by something as stupid as love. Even so, it was hard not to be grateful. Come on, he would back him up no matter what, constantly feeding his own ego. It was like a hype-man for everyday life; and it didn't take too long to get used to. A loyal servant and his outstanding emperor, it's something so simple, but works so well. And that compatibility was most noticable when working on the field.
Ness, always right there with Kaiser, ready to pass, ready to serve. They know each other so well, they don't need much verbal communication. Ness can always determine Kaiser's next move by a simple look in his eyes, by small but precise movements he made. It was his job, of course. He was fully devoted to the man known as Michael Kaiser, It wasn't anything new. But overtime, it grew into something different. Something uncanny, but not in a negative way.
Kaiser always treated Ness with disinterest, back then, and even now. So why? Why does the feeling of his servant's arms wrapped around him feel so.. special? It's hard to describe. The way he's holding him on the bed, gently brushing his bare hands down his back, lips softly pressed against Kaiser's head, still wet with shower water. While Kaiser was never a big fan at physical touch like this, it all came so naturally, like puzzle pieces finally falling into place. He was so used to being alone, to being shunned out. Whenever he would choke himself in the mirror, whenever he would scratch at his arms, or whenever he would start to cry so much he threw up, it all felt so normal. This is simply the life he lived, right? It shouldn't matter what he does or how he copes with the burdens of his past, nobody wants to see that anyway. What they want to see is Michael Kaiser, German prodigy of Bastard München. And so far, he was successful at keeping up with it all. Sure he faced some hardships with Yoichi's arrival, but that's nothing. He'll devour him and his ego, further paving the way towards his future glory.
But why was he so concerned, so terrified? Why did he rush over to Kaiser's side whenever his hands were wrapping around his neck, squeezing as tightly as they could? It's nothing new, nothing special. It's just a small habit he picked up from his father, a habit he carried with him, as well as many other memories.
"Shh.. it's okay, Micha. I'm here for you, okay?", a familiar voice whispered in his ear, brushing his hair with one of his fingers. Kaiser.. never told Alexis to do any of this. He never told him to check if he was okay, to run him a quick shower, to hold him in his arms. It felt strange. Why? So many questions- but so very little explanations coming to his mind. It was none of his concern anyways. All he had to do was leave the room and go about with his day, continue on like nothing ever happened. If anything, Kaiser figured he might've been more disgusted. This wasn't the Michael Kaiser he was used to seeing, after all. This wasn't the star player he served for so long, the one he fell hopelessly in love with. But, nevertheless, he took care for him as if he was.
Kaiser lolled his head to the side, looking around the room, then back at Alexis. "Hm? Is there something you need, Micha?" He said nothing, just looked into his magenta eyes, looking for a trace of malice, of discontent, of hatred. But, there was none to be found. As if meeting again for the first time, Kaiser found no ill intent in those eyes of his. Nothing but pure admiration, appreciation, love, warmth..
His presence felt surprisingly warm. Not the type of warmth you receive from fans other strangers, but a different kind of warmth. Something unfamiliar. Was he supposed to be feeling this way? What was he even feeling in this moment? It's not fear, and it's not hatred. So what could it be? Why did he nuzzle his head onto the other's chest so tenderly, with such care? Before he knew it, tears came out, but he wasn't entirely sure of the cause. Could it possibly frustration? Was he that frustrated at his current situation? I mean, he always imagined it to be humiliating, being held by somebody beneath you. Being treated like a child was something he hated the most. People like him never had the chance to live a normal childhood, there would be no use in trying to revive something already long gone. The only thing he could do was find comfort and purpose in success and fame.
Well, not anymore at least.
Noticing the blonde sniffling, Alexis quickly reached out to pat his head. "Micha? Ah- are you okay? Is something the matter? You can talk to me if you want! Or you can rant while I stay quiet and hold you- whatever works best!" It was his first time seeing Michael like this, seeing him vulnerable and at such a low point. He forgot the last time he was there to witness him cry, if there was a time like that at all. Michael sniffled some more into his shirt, obviously trying to keep it together. "I.. why are.. why are you so- so.. nice to me..?"
Well, he wasn't expecting that.
The muffled question caught him off guard for a second, not because he didn't know the answer, but because he wasn't sure why Michael was asking him that in the first place. He's always so confident, almost to the point of being arrogant. He accepts praise with a high head, sometimes adding a comment like "that's right." But at the same time, this wasn't Michael Kaiser in his usual mood. This version of Kaiser is different, but not worse. If anything, it felt refreshing, to see the real him. No matter how close he tried to get, Ness always felt like there was a barrier between the two of them, something keeping him away. But now, that barrier is slowly collapsing right before his eyes. And while it's not something you might see every day, it's exciting. Really exciting.
Going back to softly gliding his hands up and down his back, Alexis responds with a smile. "Because I love you, silly. Not just you as a player, but you as a person, as a human being, Micha. You deserve love just for being alive, and I want you to know that. Does.. that sound right?"
He was stunned. Those simple words hit harder than they should've, rendering his mind blank for a second. This entire time, he thought Ness was the fool. On the contrary, it was him who never understood until now. All this time, when Kaiser saw that unshakable affection in his eyes, it wasn't so one dimensional as he assumed. All this time, he was looking beyond the German prodigy, and into the soul of his savior. He wasn't disgusted because he might have expected this. Hell, he might've been waiting for this exact moment. The moment his defense is lowered, and he fully takes in Michael Kaiser for who he is, not who he wants or pretends to be.Quiet, but loud sobs fill the room. It's as if everything that's been building up to this point has finally reached it's eventual climax, and all the emotions Michael was bottling up finally escaped it's prison. And Alexis didn't say a word, he simply consoled the blonde as he weeped in his arms, speaking in a language more power and clear than any words that might come out of their mouths.
Michael Kaiser hasn't felt any warmth before,
That was.. until now.