Work Text:
“.....Don’t you think you had too much?”
Thom asks with a slight hint of nervousness in his voice. Sitting on the other side of the dining table is Jonny, who keeps sipping from his wineglass as he slouches down, while his other hand is barely holding onto his head, keeping him from collapsing onto the table.
“....I'm not drunk yet. I’m fineee.”
His slurred speech and his lips curling into a smile as he speaks tell Thom otherwise. Yeah, wow. so sober. wow.
“No, Jonny. You clearly had too much. You can’t even sit straight.”
Jonny makes an attempt to straighten himself up, like that would make Thom think otherwise. “See?” He giggles as Thom sits in front of him, arms crossed, clearly concerned at how Jonny had gone overboard, drinking much more than usual. Maybe I shouldn't have brought up alcohol in this. Maybe this was all a bad idea.
They were at Thom’s flat, he had Jonny over to have a talk with him. Jonny seemed off lately, acting all weird, making his bandmates raise concerns about his state. Thom had this feeling in his gut that Jonny was avoiding him, from looking away and making constant excuses just to escape the situation, to straight up leaving the room without any explanation whatsoever whenever Thom arrived, which had distressed him a lot, to be honest. Jonny and his stupid behavior were the only thing Thom could think of lately, driving him crazy. Sure, he had thought of going up to him and directly asking him, but what if it was his misunderstanding? What if he made things worse? What if it broke apart their whole relationship?
his odd behaviors would not stop there, he would also often space off during practice, resulting in Ed snapping his fingers in front of him to ‘get down back to earth’ , or he would wander around with this uneasy expression, fidgeting around with his hands, which he would not normally do, making Colin utter concerns about his younger brother to Thom.
That's another reason why he had him over, as his ‘dear friend’ had requested countless times for him to ask him what was going on, as he wouldn't open up to his older brother. Moreover, the other guys wouldn't budge, making Colin hold on to him for dear life. He finally accepted his request, as it slowly annoyed the shit out of him as time went by. Colin mentioned it whenever they met, every day and night; he was on the verge of going insane, for goodness’ sake.
He was getting second thoughts at this whole thing as the clock ticked though, seeing Jonny breaking down into fits of laughter as he kept on gulping down glasses of his 'expensive' wine wasn't really pleasant, and all this time he hadn’t even spoken a word about the cause of his disoriented behavior, draining the enthusiasm and the determination he had just earlier. Why are you acting like this? I just want to make sure you are okay, can't you trust me?
“So, are you going to talk about it now?”
“.....uh- ummmm….no.”
“C’mon. Your brother asked me. If I don’t get an answer, Cozzie will chew me out and be annoying as hell. And I genuinely care about you. Now for your own good, tell me. Hmmm?”
Instead of giving out an answer, Jonny reaches for the wine bottle for another glass. But before he can even lay his hands on, though, Thom grabs him by the wrist, making Jonny flinch at the sudden movement.
“No more drinks until you answer me.”
“No...l-let goo…”
Jonny tries to shake the hand off him, taking turns looking at the tight grip on his wrist and Thom’s unenthusiastic, drained expression. I mean, he couldn't blame him; this had been going on for the entire night.
“.....fine.”
As he mumbles under his breath reluctantly, Thom lets go, bringing the bottle of half-filled wine closer to him.
“no more drinking until you answer me. Understand?”
“Tsk…fineee…”
Jonny rests his chin on his hand, annoyance showing in his voice. Colin must’ve nagged him pretty hard, he thinks to himself as he looks down, keeping his mouth shut despite Thom pressuring him.
“Well? So?”
“......um.....well….you don’t want to know.”
Thom is stunned by his answer. What do you mean ‘you don’t want to know’. Your first somewhat of an answer is 'you don't want to know'??
He sips from his glass as he sneers at his absurd words, Jonny was getting on his nerves more and more.
“Now, don’t make me any more exhausted. I'm tired, and I probably bet you are too. Now let’s get this over with. Okay?”
Instead of a proper answer, all that comes out of Jonny’s mouth are mutterings barely comprehensible. His uncooperative attitude was driving Thom insane, making him chew out the younger one as Jonny rolls his eyes, his arm still holding onto his chin. You really don’t want to know Thom. You don’t.
The last time he remembered it was when Colin introduced him to the rest of the band when his eyes immediately stuck out to him; love at first sight, I suppose. His feelings had only gotten more intense over the years, and now, he had this frustration built up in him; you would feel the same if you had been hiding your feelings for almost ten years.
For the past few days, he couldn't get him off his mind; how he would call him ‘Jon-Jon’ flushed his face in a bright red color, the way he would moan and whine in his breathy voice in their performances made him have these ‘forbidden thoughts’ that made him look away in embarrassment, and his heart pounded like crazy every time Thom touched him unthinkingly, whether it would be his shoulder or his back, often resulting in him having to cover his groin area to avoid any embarrassing situations.
The only thing he could do now was take out his sexual frustration alone every night, whimpering out Thom’s name, sexual thoughts of him and his bandmate rushing through his brain; hell, just thinking of him made him aroused now. He felt like he was losing his mind these last few days, his heart aching as his desire for him grew.
That’s why he tried to avoid him; hopefully, avoiding and not seeing Thom would hopefully drown out his cravings. Bad Idea. Not seeing him had not only made his desires towards him stronger, stressing him out, and that caused him to avoid Thom even more…and so on. Worries also grew more as time went on, Jonny had no idea what Thom would say about this if he found out. Hell, how would he react?
And to Jonny’s surprise, the worst possible outcome he had imagined was happening; face-to-face with Thom, being forced to confront his feelings. He tried to distract himself by drinking, as Thom had offered him wine, but he knew he had fucked up when he felt tipsy at his 3rd glass. Now, as the world in front of him was splitting into two, floating around him, he was feeling this immense pressure up against him come along. He felt like he had a gun right up at his head, and Thom was about to pull the trigger.
“Where are you going? I’m not done with you yet.”
“I need- need to throw up.”
The massive amount of stress piling and piling on made his stomach knot, and with the excessive amount of alcohol he had consumed, he knew it was inevitable for him to empty his stomach at one point. He struggles as he stands, the floor suddenly feeling like a soft mattress under his feet, making him lose his balance as he nearly falls face down trying to get up. Luckily he had managed to grab onto the table, but reaching the bathroom in this state felt impossible.
He suddenly feels a hand over his waist, making him shudder at the sudden touch. As the taller one looks down, Thom glances back, holding him firmly in fear of accidentally letting him go, which could end up terribly. Better safe than sorry, right?
“Let me help you.”
“N-no. I can do this..”
“You can’t even walk properly. I’m terrified you might vomit on the floor, slip on it and crack open your head.”
The gruesome image fills up Jonny's head. He was right; he might end up in tomorrow’s headline, ‘Radiohead guitarist found dead’ , and just the thought of it makes him shiver. He tightly holds onto Thom's shoulder as he practically gets dragged into the bathroom.
An acidic, gut-wrenching smell fills the room as Jonny gags into the toilet bowl, knees down onto the floor, spewing his guts out. Thom, crouching down next to him, pats and strokes his back for him holding his neck-length hair behind. The stench made his stomach sick, but he had to get himself together; if he couldn't care for him now, who would? He turns away, trying not to look at the repulsive sight that was happening in front of him.
“...are you done?”
“.. y-yea, I think s-”
Jonny continues throwing his insides up, coughing here and there as Thom looks at him worryingly. He lets out a sigh as he rubs his hand against his back, hoping to ease him up. W hy did you have to go overboard when you clearly know you can't drink, so much so that you drink milk instead? Just tell me what's bothering you, and we can work this out together, you know...
There was no way this night could get any worse, or so he thought.
Limp and tired from all the gagging, Jonny feels like the world around him spins round and round, the dehydration from all the vomiting earlier adding to it, making him feel sick once again. As he got dragged out of the bathroom, the only thing he manage to think of was how Thom was tightly grabbing on to his waist, making his heart race uncontrollably, the sound of it echoing into his ears. He feels his lower belly pool with heat as soon as he got ahold of this; he had been holding himself back for so long… No. Get yourself together, Jonny. Come back to your senses Jonny… Jonny!
“Jonny! Jon, you okay there?”
“...huh…? oh…uh…I-I think so….”
Slowly becoming aware of his surroundings, Jonny meets eyes with Thom, sitting and leaning towards him. Anxiety and desire intertwine together, resulting in his heart beating faster and faster, as the realization of what was coming next gets to him.
“Now, mind telling me?”
“....um.....I- I don’t want you to know. Really…”
“Fine. If you don’t want to, then okay. But just remember your brother isn't going to be very happy about this."
Jonny sighs as he turns to cover his face with his palms, hunching over, elbows on his thighs. Stupid brother. Why did he have to be so over-caring? Why did he have to bring Thom into this?
….but then again, if not now, when would he admit his feelings for him? Was it the alcohol? It was probably the alcohol. A voice inside him urged it was now or never, and before all the self-conscious thoughts and feelings could hold him back, he finds himself blurting out his feelings to the man he loved, the man he had desired for ages.
“......I love you.”
“...huh? What are you talking abou-”
Just before Thom can finish up his sentence Jonny’s hands grab onto Thom’s shoulders, pulling him inwards as their lips press against each other's. The bittersweet taste of alcohol sends a buzz through Thom’s body as Jonny's tongue gently brushes against his, flushing the older one’s cheeks into a bright red.
Shit. shitshitshitshit . Realization hits Thom as their lips part. A humid atmosphere fills up around them, as Thom inhales deeply, the taste of just now lingering on each other's tongues.
“...sorry.”
Thom stares, dazed, at the younger male above him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. So this was what it was all about? For how long? Since when? And why me? Well, it wasn’t like he was uncomfortable with this; sure, every time he met Jonny he couldn't help but smile at him, sure, he loved how Jonny acted all cutesy and adorable in front of him, which complemented his ‘youngest of the band’ title, but that didn’t necessarily mean that he loved him…or that he had a crush on him…right? And sure, he would often have these recurring thoughts from time to time about him and Jonny making out, taking off their clothes and-
….shit.
His mind continuously rushed from one to another, painting his mind white as he keeps his gaze fixed upon Jonny. How did he not notice this before? Were these feelings just recently formed? What was even happening right now? What he certainly knew, however, was how these feelings that made his face flush red, took his breath away, and made him feel like a teenager all over again were very real and alive within him.
He looks at the man above him in awe, before gripping his soft black hair, pulling his head down, and making their lips crash into each other once more. Ecstasy washes over Thom as he gets ahold of his true feelings.
I love you too Jonny, I really do.