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Solas had been a spirit once. Perhaps his whole being changed when Mythal asked him to take physical form. He became ‘pride’ ‘ Solas’ rather than what he had been before.
Things didn’t go well for him, as things went side ways after he sealed away the tyrant and the twister of forms and that was just among some of his regrets. He’d fallen asleep for thousands of years. Then a mortal found his Orb just as he had been roused again. He wasn’t sure by what. Maybe by that happenstance, but he would never truly know. And then he had no choice but to try and help after the Temple of Sacred Ashes had blown up, and a Dalish elf walked out of a crack and fall unconscious. He had to watch over her, to make sure she didn’t die.
‘Can’t ask a corpse questions.’ Not without being a seasoned necromancer, no one could not. And things became complicated again, as the tear in the sky threatened to explode. He had to bullshit and lie, but that was nothing new to him. ‘God of Trickery and Lies’ apparently. Then the woman started asking him questions, ones that haven’t been asked from him in ages, quite literally past. He noted how her eyes glittered with the fascination of his tale of what he found in the Fade, his old home. And with….interest. He’d maybe been in love with Mythal once. But that had faded, as he hasn’t seen the other in so long. And now with his calling Levellen’s power and will undominated and how he was curious to see how that may look when she gave up control? This was selfish, and it would end with her hurt if he was still going to do what he may someday. But it has been a long time since anyone, mortal or not, has drawn his attention, and his desire. He’d watched mortals a long time ago, but not since Mythal can he recall anyone doing so.
He fell deeper for her realizing he had been afraid for her during her fall and rise back to her people, who rose her to heights unseen in an age. Then he began to tell her a version of the truth of what the Orb was and had her ‘lead’ the way somewhere safe for her: Skyhold. Their shared Fade dream, the kiss…his heart and his goals were very much in danger. Then she invited him to a ball, something he’s seen in memories of Spirits, yet hasn’t been to one himself. Dancing with her was putting more heat on the ever thinning ice. And then they kissed in real life on the balcony. Oh but how the reality of her taste roused in him desires he hadn’t even known he had.
Vhenan
, my heart, literally in their tongue, some ancient words hadn’t been lost in this age he was surprised by. And she owned it,
was
it. Even as he had to break away from her. For to have her be even more important to him than she already was? It would derail his plans. So when he was sure the Mythal pool hadn’t been taken by his heart, and that Coryphius and Mythal were dead? He left, for two years.
His heart found him though, as hearts tended to do, her hand going haywire. If she didn’t cut that off soon, she may die. He hoped her friends were close and could help her do it, and if he was any judge of character they would be. Especially her best Tevinter friend Dorian. He wanted to be proven wrong that he can be helped, stopped in some way. And then he left again. For nearly a decade. Distance really did make the heart grow fonder, as the saying would have it. He wanted time to erase everything, it had before. But he was now close to finishing the ritual and had a tail behind him. Varric, of course. And his newest acquisition: ‘Rook’. He had done what research into them as he could as they followed his trail like a dog, which in his own head was ironic. Considering. And then he got pulled into the Prison of Regret because of the foolish mortal disrupting his ritual. They had a spat of course and he once again started telling what truths he could spare to another rambunctious little mortal while he plotted his escape route by the death of Varric and using something he abhorred: blood-magic. He probably could have gone through the regrets he had in his mind and while the mortal did her own thing he may have done so, but every time he came across the penultimate end, he came across her. His Vhenan. And he never could forgive himself for that regret, and thus was shoved back to the beginning. Just in time for Rook’s little visits to his prison. Eventually his plan to escape had to be enacted with Rook’s plan to kill Ghilan'nain being successful and the consequences of their actions, who paid for that kill, he was successful in escaping. But he really ought not to have underestimated Rook, as they escaped his prison for Gods like him. How foolish to think they would have just as many regrets or that they wouldn’t be able to face them head on. So he gave Rook his dagger back, they deserved it more than he, and he needed to kill an Archdemon. He couldn’t exactly hold onto the dagger in his wolf form. He had faith they were right behind him with the remaining of their companions and/or loved one in tow. It took a whole lot out of him. And someone, the intelligence moving the blight in the first place to get the damned Blight off of his body. But he finally destroyed the dragon, and Elgar'nan finally killed.
“I am sorry for this last betrayal but I must do what I must for those I have wronged.”
“Even if one of the ones you wronged asked you to stop?” Levellan asked and he turned around his heart leaping practically out of his chest seeing her again. She got just a touch older, his vhenan. But nearly a decade could do that to a person, a mortal person anyway. But just as lovely if not more so than the last time he saw her. He noted the metal arm immediately and drew a silent breath of thanks to whatever was watching over her.
“I release you from my service old friend.” The visage of Mythal states. He knew what he had to do now, he had to go and start making amends. He first makes a blood pact to protect the veil and countless innocent Spirits therein.
“You don’t have to go alone.” His Vhenan stated in Elvish putting her hand in his.
“Where I am going is unpleasant.” He tells her taking her hand and putting it against his beaten up bloodied face gazing lovingly into the pair of eyes he dreamt about for ten years.
“Good thing I don’t balk at ‘unpleasantries’ isn’t it?” She teases him gently and gives him a gentle kiss to his bloodied lip, he takes her into his arms bone wary and hurt as he is he needed this show that her love had not diminished even as his hadn’t for her.
And they both went into the tear together. As perhaps, they always should have done things.