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Thomas hates cats. So when a stray appears on his doorstep one morning, his instinct is to shove it out of the way with his foot on his way out the door while scrunching his nose in disgust.
When asked about his hatred for the animal, he shrugs and tells his friends "Cats are useless and gross", which was partly true. He leaves out the jealousy he held for the cat known as 'Kitty' Newt cared for in the glade. Thomas had yearned to be the small animal curled up at Newt’s side at night and receive small kisses on the head from the boy. Little did he know at the time he would take Kitty's place next to Newt, only after the boy had to leave her behind when they escaped the maze. He hated the cat because Newt had worn an expression of affection and sorrow that broke Thomas' heart while saying goodbye to Kitty- and later looked at Thomas the same way while saying his final goodbye.
Despite the warm, salty air, Thomas shivers at the memory of the face
his past lover wore. he knows people are shouting their greetings and good mornings to him, but the only thing he can hear is a faint 'meow' behind him and the feeling of a tail wrapping around his ankles. "go away, stupid cat." Thomas grunts as he attempts to walk away from the cat weaving through his legs and purring.
He only sighs when Minho walks up to greet him. "seems like you've made a new friend," Minho smirks "It's a miracle anything likes you."
Thomas runs a hand down his exhausted face. "this thing isn't my friend. It randomly appeared at my door this morning and has been following me around all day. Ask anyone if they're in need of a pet cat, but this thing better know it's getting nothing outta me."
Minhos grin only widens. "I don't know about that one, Thomas. Looks like he's already made his decision." he points down to the car at Thomas' feet, which is now playing with the laces on Thomas' boots.
A familiar feeling of sadness washes over Thomas. He thinks of Newt and Kitty. He thinks of Newt. Minho seems to notice and pats him on the shoulder before sending him off to complete his daily chores around the safe haven. Thomas doesn't like the cat, but he leaves leftover turkey from his sandwich for him at lunchtime.
---
Thomas doesn't like cats- especially ones that follow him around. He leaves food and water out on occasion for the stray but is never inviting to the animal. He doesn't want to admit it, but the cat reminds him of his late lover. The cat undoubtedly looked like Newt, with a light orange-striped coat and brown eyes. so the next time it appears on his doorstep, Thomas cautiously bends down and pats the purring cat on the head before leaving it at his door for the day.
No matter how much he wants to sometimes, Thomas will never forget anything about Newt. he still hears his voice calling his name when he wakes up and instinctively turns to wrap his arms around a body that isn't there. He sees his face covered in black veins and dark eyes still so full of love as he dies in his arms. he feels his lips on his own and tastes the words burned into the letter that hung around Thomas's neck.
His friends see the dark circles under Thomas' eyes, just as they saw everything the two boys kept between themselves. They noticed how it was normal for Thomas to wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night and find him walking on the empty beach in the morning. They noticed the cat that was slowly growing on Thomas and they smiled sadly as if they knew something he didn't.
---
Thomas doesn't mind some cats.
He sees Newt. he sees Newt covered in black, irreversible veins. He sees Newt peacefully sleeping next to him curled in his arms during the countless nights they spent next to each other in the scourch. He feels Newt slamming him against a wall, yelling incomprehensible words in his face. He feels Newt's gentle touch on his face, wiping away tears when they shared a bed in Janson’s facility. He hears Newt begging Thomas to kill him before taking his last ragged breath. Thomas hears the same ragged breath with their bodies and lips pressed together and hands roaming.
Thomas wakes up screaming. he hadn't realized it, but he had begun to cry and yell in his sleep as he twisted in his empty sheets attempting to escape his dream. His heart is racing and his breath is heaving as he falls to the ground next to his bed and curls in himself with his head in his hands. As he sobs, he rocks back and forth, uttering nonsense in an attempt to forget.
He hears a faint 'meow' from across the small room, and it takes his eyes a moment to adjust and see the cat sitting on his empty desk. His heart sinks impossibly deeper as his sadness is replaced by an unexplainable anger.
"he's gone!" Thomas shouts at the cat. Thomas rises to his shaky feet. "he's gone! He's gone!" he sobs at the unmoving cat. "leave me alone, you stupid animal! He's not coming back!"
Without realizing it, Thomas had made his way over to the still cat sitting on his desk. His anger had faded just as quickly as it had come and was replaced by sorrow. he hesitates for a moment, but wraps the cat in his arms and sobs into his soft fur. "he's gone. and he's not coming back." he whispers into the fur of the purring cat. "he's not coming back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
Thomas doesn't know how long he stayed like that, but when he wakes up, the usually cold and empty spot in his e
bed next to him is replaced by a soft, orange, purring creature. Tears well in his eyes at the sight, but he has a sad smile on his face. He gently pets the sleeping cat next to him and the action reminds him of waking up next to a sleeping Newt and brushing his blonde hair out of his eyes.
"he's not coming back," Thomas whispers to himself, as if he was attempting to make himself believe it. But as Thomas wraps his arms around the sleeping cat next to him, he realizes Newt has never left him.