Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Kiss Me, Son of God
They Might Be Giants
0:10 ─|──────── 1:53

♫I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage♫

Pony Express Long-Haul Space Freighter: Tulpar

Crew: 5

Planned Shipment Duration: 382 Days

Elapsed Transit Time: 147 Days

5 crew members. Daisuke, the intern. Anya, the nurse. Swansea, the mechanic. Curly, the Captain.

And you, the doctor and co-captain.

♫called the blood of the exploited working class.♫

You and Curly had always been a close pair, having lived together in the same apartment building. Best friends, he even bought you matching Yin Yang bracelets.

☯ You guys loved each other.☯

Your friends and family had always spread rumors about the both of you.

‘Partners’

‘Friends with Benefits’

‘Engaged’

All the things you’ve been called aren’t true…

Yet.

♫But they've overcome their shyness now they're calling me Your Highness♫

-4 months before the voyage-

When you found out Curly was elected to be the captain of the Tulpar, you threw him a little party. You had an extra key to his apartment, so while he was at the grocery store, you snuck in and set everything up. Congratulations banners, streamers, balloons, and especially cake.

When he got home, you hid behind the counter for him to walk in.

“SURPRISE!!!” You yelled, causing him to jump. “HOLY SHI-”

---------------

He laughs softly, rushing over to you, picking you up, and spinning you around in a hug. “Awww, bubba!! Thank you..” He set you down, letting you go.

“Hey, anything for you.”

♡

♫And a world screams♫
♫KISS ME, SON OF GOD.♫

Chapter Text

♫I destroyed a bond of friendship and respect♫
♫Between the only people left who'd even look me in the eye♫

-2 months before the voyage-

You sit in your apartment building watching tv when you hear frantic knocking on your door. You knew it was Curly by how hard the knocks were. You rushed to open the door, nearly ripping it off its hinges.

“Curly, what’s wrong? It’s 10 pm, you’re usually asleep by now-”

You start to speak before being quickly interrupted by him.

“Jimmy is in the hospital, and my car is in the shop. I know you don’t like him that much but I need to be there for him. Can you please-.”

“Absolutely. Which hospital?”

“The one off West and Abbey. We need to go. NOW.”

---------------------------

You two arrive at the hospital, and get escorted to Jimmy’s room. While walking in, Curly grips your hand tightly as if afraid you’ll leave him alone.

Jimmy looked terrible. Broken bones. Bloodied face. He looked dead.

Curly rushed over to him, kneeling next to his hospital bed.

“Jimmy. What happened to you..?”

Jimmy glances over to you, then to Curly.

“T-boned in a crosswalk.. while walking normally.. What’s your little lovebird doing here with you?”

He smirks while staring over at you.

“They are not my partner. They drove me here to see you.”

Jimmy coughs roughly.

“Yeah, after y’all woke up from a night of steamy-”

“Shut up, Jimmy.”

“Fine.”

He coughs roughly again, wheezing as he speaks. “Thanks for being here, by the way.. Sorry if I don’t sound super appreciative..”

“I-” Curly looks over at you, smiling softly. “We know you are, Jimmy.”

You smile, nodding. “Mmhmm.”

Jimmy laughs, coughing. “Thank you.. Both of you…”

Jimmy’s heart rate goes up a bit, doctors rushing in to help him.

Curly brings you out of the room, going back in after sitting you down in a chair outside.

Seconds. Minutes. Hours pass by as you wait for Curly to come out of the hospital room. You decide to go in and check if he’s okay. You step into the room, and before you realize-

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*
.
.
.
.
.

Jimmy is dead.

“Internal bleeding.” The doctors say, “We were too late to notice. We are so sorry for your loss. We did everything we could.”

Curly kneels by the bed, sobbing softly into the sheets. He grips onto Jimmy's limp hand, squeezing it tightly.

A doctor walks over to you, resting her hand on your shoulder. “It was very nice of you to support your friend and bring him here. I don’t know how you’re handling this so well.”

You glance over at Curly, then to the nurse.
“It’s still not easy. Thank you for trying, ma’am.”

She smiles, nodding softly before walking out, leaving you and Curly alone.

He lifts his head up to look at you.

“I’ve known him for years… I was his best friend..”

You sigh, pulling up a chair to sit next to Curly. “I know.. I’m here.”

Curly wraps his arms around you, hugging you tightly. “Thank you for being here…”

You hug him back, resting your chin on the top of his head.

“You’re welcome, hun.”

Chapter Text

♫Now I laugh and make a fortune♫
♫Off the same ones that I tortured♫

-9 months left of voyage-

1 month in space and you are immediately homesick. Curly and you both.

You sit in your sleeping quarters, staring at the ceiling.

The door opens with a hiss, Curly knocking on the wall before entering.

*knock knock-knock*

“Come in, Curls.”
You say softly as he walks in, smiling.

“Hey, I bought us something before the trip.”

“You did?” You sit up in the bed, looking over to Curly, who has a box in his hands.

He moves over to sit on the bed next to you, passing you the box.

“Open it.”

♫And a world screams♫

You open the box to find two plushies, one that looks like Curly and the other that looks like you.

“I got them custom-made, so that if we weren’t able to be together while we’re stuck here, we’d have these as a stand-in until we actually could be with each other.”

You smile brightly, tears welling up in your eyes. “Curls.. You didn’t-”

“Ah- Ah- Ah- No. Don’t say that I didn’t have to-” He holds your face in his hands. “Because I did have to. You are my best friend, and I would have no idea what to do, because I would be lost without you. You do so much for me, so it’s my turn to do something for you.”

He hugs you tightly.

“You’re my best friend and I love you for that.”

♫KISS ME, SON OF GOD♫

Chapter Text

-8 months left of voyage-

Only 2 months in, and you’re going stir crazy. Pony Express, the company you’re working for, gave a LONG list of tasks to do EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. You and Anya, your nurse, have to—

Wake up
Unlock medbay
Organize the medicine which somehow always gets unorganized
Give everyone their daily meds
Organize meds AGAIN
Clean up medbay
Lock doors
Go to bed.

It gets tiring having to do it day after day after day; It’s monotonous and boring.

------------

You wake up that morning, energized and ready to finish your tasks quickly so that you could get some free time to yourself. You get up out of bed, getting into your uniform, which is a nice denim jumper-suit with the company logo embroidered on the breast pocket. You slip your combat boots on before walking out of your sleeping quarters.

You find Anya getting ready in her room, getting her boots on.

'Hey, Ani., ready to start the day?’

She looks up at you, her tired eyes slightly lighting up slightly at the sight of you.

“Yeah.. Let’s go ahead and go…”

She seems… off.

“Ani.. Are you okay…? Something’s wrong.. You’re not dragging me into a hug like you usually do..”

She glances up at you before tearing up.

“God… I’m so sorry, You’re going to be so annoyed with this..”

You rush over, the door automatically shutting behind you.

“Anya… talk to me..”

You sit down next to her, pulling her into a small hug.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

“Why do you think Pony Express put a lock on the medical room door but not in the sleeping quarters…?”

You look down at her. “Hmm. I suppose for the same reason that they put a lock on the cockpit.”
|
|
|
“Safety.”

She looks up at you, her eyes glazed over with tears.

“I’m pregnant.”

You look down at her, eyes widening.

“What…? You’re… Oh my god, were you.. WHO? Who did this.. to you…?”

She starts crying.

“Swansea.”

Your eyes darken with anger as you stand up.

“Come on, let’s get to work. When I leave the medbay, lock yourself in there and don’t leave. I brought things that could work as Plan-B pills. Ibuprofen can cause early miscarriages, if this is to dangerous for you to-”

“Stop. He’s coming.”

“Get back in your room. I’m not letting him even see you.”

Anya rushes back inside, the door closing behind as Swansea turns the corner.

“Where is she?”

“She’s changing, I’m giving her privacy.”

“I’m sure she’s done by now.” He starts walking towards the door.

“No, Swansea. She just started. Go get your intern to help you. I’m sure Daisuke is available to do his actual job.”

You step in front of him, preventing him from getting to the door. He glares down at you.

“Out of my way, bitch.”

“Mind your fucking business. You better back the fuck way or I'll pop your eyes out of your head and make you eat them.”

Swansea’s eyes widened, fear flooding them before he stepped back, storming off to find his intern.

When he’s gone, Anya comes out of her room. You smile and laugh softly.

“Did you hear.. ALL of that..?

“Yeah.. Thanks…”

You smile brightly.

“Let’s get to work.”

-----------------

As you leave the medbay, Anya locks the door behind you to keep herself safe from Swansea, or as you two start calling him, the Creepster. You step through the halls, making sure to steer clear of Daisuke and Swansea, until you make your way to the cockpit.

You know on the door before stepping in, shutting the door behind you and locking it.

“Curly-”

You look at Curly in the Captain’s seat.

He seems to have fallen asleep at the wheel, luckily, with the autopilot on. He mutters in sleep, curling into a little ball in his captain’s chair.

You smile softly, grabbing his blanket from the floor and draping it over his shoulders. You press a light kiss to his temple, whispering,

“Sleep well, my captain.”

You start walking away before you feel a hand grabbing yours. You glance back at Curly, the man now awake and smiling sleepily at you.

“Hey.. did i fall asleep..?”

You laugh softly, sitting down and facing him in your co-captain’s chair.

“Apparently. I thought you were already in your room, bub..”

“I was making sure we weren’t veering off course.”

He smiles, yawning.

“Thanks for waking me up.. That was a…”
You blush slightly, worrying about how he’d react to the kiss.

“That was a very welcome wake-up call.”

He smiled brightly.

You laugh and smile.

“That’s good. But… we’ve got to talk about Swansea..”

His smile fades slightly,

“What’s wrong…? Did he do something to you?”

“No. He.. He raped Anya. She’s pregnant, and Daisuke is basically a son to her, so it wasn’t him. She told me herself that it was Swansea. We have 8 months left of this voyage and she’s a month along, by the time we get back to earth she’ll practically be in labor and have already had the baby. He tried getting into her room to see her change. I was there to stop him, but it took me threatening him to get him to leave.”

His face twists in disgust and anger towards Swansea, and he stands up angrily.

“I’m going to kill that bastard-”

Your eyes widen in horror.

“NO NO NO NO-”

You stand in his way, keeping him from leaving the cockpit.

“I can’t let you go to jail on my watch. Promise me you’ll talk to him and when we get back to Earth, weĺl press the charges against him.”

He looks down at your small figure, his gaze softening.

“Okay..”

“Please just talk to him. Lecture him. Anything. Just… keep him away from the medbay and from Anya. I’ll talk to Daisuke when I get the chance.”

“I will.”

“Thank you.”

Chapter Text

Hey, guys! Oliver here!

I am making this author's note to tell you that I have a version of Kiss Me, Son of God that has ZERO TRAUMA! Meaning that there is nothing about the Swansea r'ing Anya.

It still has jimmy's death because it is essential for jimmy to die. we don't need him anyways.

ANYWAY!!! It is here and will be updated each time I write a new chapter of this fic!!

Goodbye for now, readers. i'll be back >:)

Toodle-pip!

- Oliver, your Author~✩

Chapter Text

sorry that I haven't been posting.

school has been taking a mental toll on me and the only thing i've physically been able to do is sleep and eat.

hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter out soon enough that I can finish up the book.

again very sorry for keeping you all waiting.

-Oliver, your author. <3

Chapter Text

hey. this is your author. i have been really stressed out and this fanfic has been put on the back burner. I don't think I can keep doing this. I'm giving this account to my friend and she is going to overhaul all of my old fics and they will all be gone by October 30th. You all, i'm sure, will love your new author. i'm sure of it. sorry to leave you all so soon but it was never meant to be like this. If you all would like, you can finish the stories I created on your own. Think of it as my goodbye. I will catch you all on the flipside. The newest book, "Elysium", that is being put up is Caspian's first work. Please do give her all the support you can.

Goodbye, my lovelies. I'm so sorry to end our journey like this.