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Chapter Text

Regulus rolled his eyes as Madam Pince walked away, scoffing and muttering under her breath about ‘dreadful muggle books’. As if this was a new occurrence. He turned back to Remus and Lily, who were finishing setting up a silencing ward in a quiet corner of the library, where the three of them ran a weekly book club. He smiled to himself, imagining the way Regulus of six months ago would have sneered at the warm camaraderie that had grown between him and the two Gryffindors. After countless hours spent reading in the library, strolling in comfortable silences around the Black Lake, and late evenings bent over aromatic cauldrons, he wouldn’t have it any other way. It was sappy, but no one else needed to know that.

It all started four months prior, when Regulus, who was less than pleased to be interrupted, was approached at what he thought was a private booth in the library by a rather sad looking Lily Evans. He rolled his eyes as he took in the Gryffindor prefect, no doubt here to scold him, probably just for the bother of existing in a green uniform. Why else would she speak to him? It’s not like Regulus was a shining beacon for friendly conversation, and he hoped to Merlin that he didn't look like he would be willing to participate in idle chit-chat.

“So…” he hadn’t known Lily to be an awkward person before, and he raised his eyebrows at her before she continued, “I saw the fight you had with Sirius at Hogsmeade the other weekend. Around the back of the Three Broomsticks.” Regulus rolled his eyes again.

“Right, and now you’re here to admonish me about it. Poor baby Sirius got his feelings hurt. Honestly Evans, it’s none of your business.”

Regulus tried not to wince as a look of hurt flashed across Lily’s face, but he was right, it was none of her business.

“Actually, Regulus, I’m not here to defend Sirius. I’m here for you. I wanted to ask, are you okay? I understand if you’re not, which is why-”

“No, Evans, you don’t understand it, okay? You don’t have a brother, how could you possibly understand what is it to be hated by someone who you can’t help but love? Even when you try not to love them! What it is for them to never understand you, and the choices you make, no matter how much you try to explain it to them? When you don’t want to be angry with them anymore, but you don’t know how not to be? You don’t. You can’t comprehend it, so take your saviour complex, go back to your dumb Lion den, and leave me the hell alone!”

Regulus knew he had taken it too far, but he really wasn’t in the mood for an only child who didn’t understand blood purist politics to try to make him a better person. So, when Lily Evans didn’t burst into tears and leave the room immediately, but rather smiled at him, he was taken aback.

“You’re right Regulus,” well obviously, “I don’t understand what it is between you and Sirius. I probably never will. I do, however, have an older sister.” What? This had been news to Regulus, he was sure he’d never heard of an older Evans running around the castle. “When we were younger, the two of us were joined at the hip. Wherever Petunia was, you were sure to find Lily. And then, I came to Hogwarts…” Regulus tried to feign indifference, but found his heart quickening as he noticed the similarities to him and Sirius.

“You see, Petunia, like my parents, is a muggle. At first, when we were younger, the differences between us weren’t important. They didn’t define us. We were sisters first; a witch and a muggle second. But the older I got, and the more the Magical World became my world, it was clear that was no longer the case. Petunia doesn’t see me as her sweet little sister anymore, instead I’m a freak. Now, I know that not to be true, but that doesn’t stop it from aching. She was my whole world, you know?” Regulus nodded curtly; he really did know. “So no, I don’t pretend to know exactly what you’re going through, Regulus. And I’m not here to defend Sirius, he was being an arse, but what I do know, is that I would give anything to go back to the time when my sister was still trying to be my sister. Sirius wants more than anything to be your big brother. I can understand if you don’t want that, but I get the feeling you do.”

Regulus stayed quiet for a moment, until he realised Lily was done speaking. She was staring at him with a gentleness in her eyes that he had seen, but never really recognised before. She understood him. He sighed; “I don’t know how to tell him. Every time, it just ends up in a screaming match and half-arsed hexes.”

“Acknowledging you want it is the first step, Regulus. Trust me, you can work with that.” Lily smiled as she stood up, clearly going to leave Regulus to sit with his thoughts. Before she left though, she slid a worn, leather-bound book across the table. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott. “I imagine you haven’t read much muggle literature. Before you say anything, just give it a go, this is one of my favourites,” Regulus tried not to let tears fall at the kindness he had never expected from one of his brother's friends, “come see me when you’ve finished.”

Looking back on that memory, Regulus’s heart filled with warmth and gratitude. Lily, in all her effortless grace and quiet empathy, had irreversibly changed his life. He and Sirius hardly shared a perfect, functioning brotherly relationship, but they were both trying, and that was enough for now. That was her doing. Lily had also introduced him to Remus, and though he was sceptical of inviting another prankster into his life, he was pleasantly surprised by the quiet company and insightful conversations he shared with him. He supposed it was good that the two were such easy friends, after Remus admitted to him that he and Sirius were together. “Honestly Lupin, what on earth do you see in him? ”

After a couple of months that the three of them shared hunched over a table in the library, or a picnic blanket on the shores of the Black Lake, pouring over fictitious novels of all sorts, they had decided to begin running a weekly book club. The three of them alternated in picking a book to read that week, and the group would convene in the library; getting swept up in haunting love stories, epic fantasy universes, and tragic tales of woe, until Madam Pince would alert them that curfew was approaching and kick them out.

There was another benefit to his newfound civility with Sirius, Regulus thought. He started to absentmindedly hand out copies of Charles Dickens when people shuffled into the corner, but Regulus’s mind was far from literature this week. The previous weekend, he had followed Sirius around Hogsmeade like a puppy, and had found himself staring into deep hazel eyes when he crawled into the booth opposite James Potter at the pub. Regulus had spent most of his life ignoring Sirius’s new brother, and had only really started to pay attention now that he and Sirius were repairing their relationship. And Merlin, had he been missing out. Though Potter was still infuriatingly annoying and childish, Regulus would be remiss to deny the way the man was a modern Adonis. This whole week, all Regulus had been able to think about was the exact shade of James’s eyes, and the way they sparkled when any of his friends told a joke. How they had locked with Regulus's each time he found the courage to talk to the group.

“- um hello, can you hear me?” Regulus snapped out of it, looking now into familiar, sweet blue eyes, giving him a knowing look.

“Sorry, Panda. Just thinking,”

“About who?” Pandora had a wicked gleam in her eyes; Regulus knew she was exactly aware of who he was thinking about. If they were muggles, Regulus would still think that his friend was some sort of witch, if not outright a mind reader.

“Who said it was a who?” he deflected, “I’m just enraptured by this week's book, my darling.”

Pandora rolled her eyes and smiled at him, and he mimicked the motion. Salazar, he really had the best friends.

“As it turns out, so am I, my darling,” Regulus froze as he turned around to face the hazel eyes he had been daydreaming about mere minutes ago. “Potter.”

James smirked at Regulus, then moved to sit down next to Pandora. Why he was here, Regulus wasn't exactly sure. James had never once attended their book club. “What exactly are you doing here? I wasn’t aware you could read,” Regulus quipped. James only laughed in response. What a ridiculous, bright sound.

“Just here to see what all of the fuss is about. Remus and Lils won’t shut up about your special little book club; suppose I had to come see it for myself.” Right. James was here because of his Gryffindor friends, of course. Regulus nodded, and made his way back up to the central table that he shared with Remus and Lily.

As he scanned the library, Regulus spotted from the corner of his eye, James Potter holding an extremely worn copy of A Tale of Two Cities in front of Pandora. Are those… tabs? Had James Potter; jock extraordinaire, prankster of the century, never before caught in the library - annotated a hundred-year-old muggle novel? Regulus ignored the clenching in his chest at the sight. Merlin, was he in trouble.

Chapter Text

“Regulus! Hey, Reggie, slow down!” James huffed as he jogged up to Regulus’s side, flashing a far too bright grin.

“Do not-”

“Don’t call him Reggie, he’ll gut you. And that would be rather unfortunate for me, who would be stuck cleaning up the mess. I'm his lackey, you know,” Pandora said with mock exasperation, winking at a wide-eyed James. Friends who finish your sentences, or however the saying goes.

“Noted. Just what Sirius calls you. Anyways, I didn’t get a chance to speak with you during the meeting, only Remus and Lils. Wanna chat while I walk you back to the dungeon?” Yes, well, Regulus’s avoidance of James had been somewhat intentional.

Sure, normal people would fawn under the attention of the James Potter, and considering the way he tended to draw Regulus’s eyes in any room, he probably should too. Regulus, however, had been skirting around the tables on the opposite side of the club, intentionally throwing himself at anyone who caught his eyes. Except for James. He knew how this went. James would try to get close so that he could help out his best mate; Regulus would just be reminded how he always came second to Sirius. Sure, maybe this was a half-truth at best, wildly self-deprecating and completely psychotic at worst, but if there was one thing Regulus took pride in, it was his ability to keep himself guarded from heartache. He’d failed the first time around with Sirius, he had never made that same mistake again.

And yet. “Sure, James. Your fault if you get caught out of bed, though.” In response, James only winked.

“I think I’ll be alright, Reggie-” “Regulus,” “Right, Regulus, I have my ways. Shall we?”

Of course the arrogant twat thought he could waltz around the castle after dark without facing any consequences. Typical. And yet, Regulus couldn’t quash the grin that crept onto his face as he replied, “then by all means, lead the way.”

Even after a long, and surprisingly perceptive chat about wine casks, violence, oppression, and sacrifice in the pursuit of the greater good, Regulus found himself surprised to see James already sitting next to Pandora when he started handing out next week’s book; Agnes Grey, Anne Brontë. He nearly felt sorry for the sod; Pandora was chatting his ear off about flesh-eating slugs, and how the ‘poor creatures were just terribly misunderstood - could you really blame them?’ - yet, James was animated in his responses, eliciting a quiet beam from his friend. His chest clenched at the sight; while he and his friends adored Pandora, most people found her eccentricities weird, or just avoided her. He sighed as he made the decision to walk over to join them. He couldn’t exactly scorn someone who was kind to Pandora - and not in a way people were kind to children or pets, but genuinely kind, for the sake of being friends. Classic Mr Sunshine.

Then James surprised Regulus by coming back the next week. And the next. And then again. And suddenly, James Fleamont Potter; captain of the Quidditch team, was a regular resident in their warded corner of the library. It had been nearly two months since he first showed up with a battered copy of A Tale of Two Cities, and now he was grinning lopsidedly, and waving goodbye to Regulus as he followed Remus and Lily up to the Gryffindor towers.

“So, have you finished undressing him with your eyes? I could show you a great herb to resist the urges, you know.”

“Shut up, Panda.”

Regulus picked up his wand and stoked the fireplace again. The winter was creeping into his bones unseasonably early, and the fire in the common room was the only way to find a semblance of warmth in the stone dungeons he called home. He tried not to be bitter towards Gryffindors, but Merlin it was hard when he pictured the common room in the tower.

He’d swiftly walked out of his dorm hours earlier, when a spat between Barty and Evan started escalating into an argument Regulus recognised would quickly turn deranged. Maybe it would turn violent, maybe it would turn vulgar. Possibly both. Who knew? Regulus didn’t want to, that was for sure.

Now he found himself unable to sleep on the lumpy couch, so he pulled a book out of his bag. This week, he’d chosen for the club to read the second muggle book he’d ever read; after Little Women, and it just so happened to be his favourite. He’d read it five times. The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde. He stroked the worn leather spine, silently thanking Merlin and Morgana for finding him a friend in Remus, who had taken him to the antique bookstore on the outskirts of Hogsmeade.

Huh. A slip of parchment fell out. How on earth did that get in there?

Regulus picked it up from where it had opened on the floor, breath hitching as he unfolded the parchment to a poem, written in looped calligraphic letters. If it weren’t for the unnatural slant of some letters, and the way others didn’t join quite right, he would have thought the script was very natural, but Regulus could recognise that it was clearly an effort for the mystery author to write.

Stolen face, never fading /

Youth fleeting, but not grace /

Time stains that which cannot be preserved.

Secrets sold in exchange for a soul /

Fools deal in lust and gold /

Beauty crumbles, growing old /

But the brushes whisper sins untold.

Salazar. Regulus had never been one for poetry, but now, he felt as though he understood why the great poets were so celebrated for their accounts of the world. Why people grasped to find a thread in their lives of the romanticism they found in Byron; why Tennyson stirred such great emotions. This was special. Perhaps unknowingly, someone had mysteriously written a beautiful poem about Regulus’s favourite piece of writing. He read it over and over, committing it to memory. This was for him - he didn’t think he’d ever felt so special, no matter how ridiculous the thought was. Nothing much could stop the rapidness with which his heart was beating. Merlin and Morgana both.

Regulus carefully folded the parchment back into his book, and hugged it tightly to his chest. When he fell asleep, sweet stanzas swirled in front of his eyelids, intertwining with deep hazel eyes.

Chapter Text

“Are you seriously still not trying to find out who it is, Regulus? This is the fifth note!” Pandora said, reading yet another mysterious piece of parchment, lying with her head in Regulus’s lap.

“No. Why would I? The mystery is half of the excitement, Panda. Finding out would just spoil the fun. Besides, you know my parents would have my head if they found out I was getting secret correspondence from a mystery wizard!”

“Oh for Morgana’s sake, you’re impossible. Your parents would have your head if they knew you were running a muggle book club with a muggleborn and a half-blood from Gryffindor, Reg. You’ve managed to sweet talk them out of every possible infringement of high society with your fancy Sacred 28 Heir manipulation training so far, I’m sure you’ll manage this. Not that they even have to find out!” Regulus sighed, knowing Pandora was completely right. He was well aware nothing about his argument was logical, but part of that Sacred 28 Heir upbringing was a tendency for stubbornness, and Regulus was not about to give in so easily.

“Besides, it wouldn’t ruin anything, you clearly enjoy everything this person writes to you, so logic follows that you’d enjoy their company, in real life, too,” well, that she was right about. So far, Regulus had received two poems, two surprisingly insightful literary analyses, and a ridiculous yet rather funny piece comparing professors to different characters in Lewis Carrol’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. “Besides, Reg, who knows, something more may come out of this! I have a feeling-” Pandora and her feelings, “that this is special. Besides, why else would someone write you poetry about your favourite novel, and then about Romeo and Juliet? There’s nothing that play is known for except its romance, Regulus.”

Regulus sat up abruptly, knocking Pandora’s head out of his lap in the process. “Romance? Panda, what on earth are you on about?”

She stared at him incredulously, silent for a minute. “Is this one of those times where you use your emotionally stunted upbringing as a facade to ignore feelings that make you uncomfortable, or are you actually dimwitted? Romeo and Juliet, Regulus-” “ended in a double suicide! Besides, that play is not about romance, it’s about the tragedy of youth. You should listen to me more often. Because I’m not dimwitted-” “then you know your secret author is actually a secret admirer then?”

Regulus sighed. There was no winning an argument with Pandora when she got invested, that much he knew. He might be the authority on stubbornness, but she had a penchant for always being right. He wasn’t going to bother wasting his breath.

Truth is, though he greatly enjoyed the pieces of parchment he found hidden in his books every week, he didn’t actually want it to be romantic. He didn’t want anyone interested in him, not like that. Sure, part of it was that he refused to allow anyone new into his life to be hurt by yet another person, but he also couldn’t help but think of a wild mop of dark hair and gold-rimmed glasses whenever he pictured… all of that.

Regulus wasn’t sure when exactly he’d realised that what he felt for James was more than attraction. He knew that he was gorgeous - you’d have to be blind to miss that - but dumb James Potter and his kind eyes and the attention he devoted to Regulus during their weekly meetings had weaselled his way into his heart. Somehow.

Maybe it was the way that James, who people always admonished for his inability to keep his mouth shut, listened borderline reverently when Regulus, and he assumed Remus and Lily too, went on a tangent about sub-plots and recurring themes in their novels. It could’ve been the way that while most students in the club hastily agreed with anything Regulus had to say, James challenged his perspectives and stimulated his intellect; something he hadn’t known the boy could do. Possibly, it was the way he smiled and patiently explained things to wide-eyed first years who didn’t really have much business reading Crime and Punishment, encouraging them nonetheless.

Then again, maybe it was superficial. Maybe Regulus couldn’t help but notice the way his arm muscles strained against his shirt when reaching for a book from a high shelf, or the way his smile lit up the room. Maybe the soft golden lighting in the library only made James's bronze skin seem even more ethereal to Regulus. Sue him. If Regulus melted each time the sound of James Potter’s honeyed laugh bounced off their silencing wards, that was his own business.

So no, Regulus didn’t want his mysterious author; even if they did have a marvellous way with words, even if they did leave him smiling softly as he recited small passages to himself before bed. He wanted James.

“Reg? You okay?” Pandora smiled softly at him, breaking him out of his thoughts. He didn’t need to explain himself to her. She always knew. Sometimes it could be unnerving, but at times like this, Regulus was grateful for his friend. “Yeah Panda, I’m okay. Can we talk about something else, please?”

“Well, I have a new theory on minimising the effects of wrackspurts, but I think it will only work in cold climates,” Pandora jumped up, poetry and secret parchment completely discarded, “come see my notes. Maybe you’ll have an idea on translating it to the tropics.”

Regulus followed his friend to the Ravenclaw towers, smiling fondly at her humble intelligence as they went. He spent the next three hours thinking that Pandora might be onto something with these creatures infiltrating brains, apparently, because what other explanation could there be for the sound of James’s laughter echoing through his head?

James was starting to get frustrated. He was the first to admit that he was certainly not a model for patience, but he felt that after months of attending the coveted book club, and weeks of flirting with Regulus via parchment, there should be something to show for it.

He hadn’t exactly started going to the library for Regulus; he genuinely had wanted to make Remus and Lily happy. They didn’t know about the extent of his private adoration for any and all works of fiction - that was a special connection he shared with his dad. Coincidentally, Sirius had wanted James to attend on his behalf, for his little brother, since "I love you Moony, but absolutely not." It hadn't been long since Sirius had started bringing Regulus along to more Hogsmeade weekends, seeking him out in the Great Hall, and waiting in hallways at the end of his younger brother's classes. Soon enough, Regulus was a regular fixture in all of their lives. Sirius had actually threatened them once when they'd brought up how much time he was spending with them.

“I swear to Merlin you lot, I know Reggie’s a Slytherin and he’s still stubborn enough to stay with his parents. But he’s getting there, really! You’ve all seen it. So go, have a go at me about it, you apathetic pricks-”

“Godric, Pads! Calm down before your head blows off. We haven’t said a word, but for the record, we all think it’s great. We think he’s great. We’ve talked about it, everything’s on his timeline, yeah? We’re just happy you’re on the same wavelength for once.” Remus placed his hands on Sirius’s shoulders, forcing him to stop and take a breath.

James stepped in and ruffled Sirius’s hair, earning him a slap on the wrist and a half-hearted grunt. “Yeah Pads, Merlin, stop trying to bite our heads off. Look, let us keep spending time with him separately to you, maybe that will slowly help convince him that we’re all alright. Like Remus said, Regulus’s timeline. You know full well Mum and Dad will be there if he ever needs it, and if not, well at least he has his brother.”

Now, a few months had passed, and James could tell that Sirius, and Regulus too, were very slowly starting to fall into a comfortable relationship that he imagined resembled what they had before Regulus was sorted into Slytherin. He could tell that Regulus was opening up to the rest of them too; surprising Sirius greatly. It thrilled him too, that was no secret - that was why he’d encouraged James to attend the book club when Remus and Lily had asked him to come, the week after Regulus had joined them at the Three Broomsticks for the first time.

Since then, James hadn’t been able to pull himself away. He thought Pandora’s soul was beautiful, and he could talk to that girl for hours. But, then there was Regulus. Godric, the boy was special.

James was not oblivious to the fact that, much like his older brother, Regulus Black had been turning heads at Hogwarts for years. But Sirius had always been James’s priority. Though they’d grown up not knowing each other, the two were inseparable, practically brothers. So when Sirius turned his nose up at Regulus’s friends, pastimes, and demeanour, James didn’t think twice about following suit. He only let that guard down when Sirius had announced to the Marauders’ dorm that he was “scared for Reggie, and bollocks if I’m not going to try my damned hardest to get him away from our parents.” James never asked where the change of heart had come from, but it didn’t matter. All he wanted was to help Sirius, and if he thought he needed to help Regulus, so would James.

No longer avoiding Regulus for Sirius’s sake, James had allowed himself to take in the younger Black brother, properly, for the first time in years. It didn’t take long for him to fall for the quiet glimmer Regulus got in his eyes when talking about literature he particularly loved, but tried to hide out of - guilt? James wasn’t sure exactly - but he still noticed. He could watch the way Regulus’s eyes softened from their usual dark, stormy grey, to a soft silvery colour when he curled up in a corner alone, not even glancing up as he let a novel consume him. The way he pushed his ebony curls out of his face when he talked, and the way he subconsciously stroked the single platinum streak in his hair when he was nervous made James’s heart stutter.

If nothing else, James Potter loved loudly. Well, maybe the word love was a bit presumptuous, but still. James thought the loudest way to show affection to someone like Regulus was to do it quietly, through something that made him feel special. So, after bribing Remus with Chocolate Frogs and a full night where he and Peter would sleep in the common room, James found out the name of Regulus’s favourite book. He skipped Transfiguration at the end of the day, sure he could suck up to Minnie, and read The Picture of Dorian Gray in one sitting.

That’s how the parchment correspondence had started. Though James was enjoying himself immensely, especially seeing the way Pandora’s eyes constantly surveilled Regulus’s bag, he had rather hoped that Regulus would have spoken to him about it by now. It was not possible he didn’t know that James was writing to him - almost every note had a reference to a conversation they’d shared at the book club - so why wasn’t he just coming forward?

James had entertained the idea that he should just take the hint - cut his losses, keep Regulus as a friend, and move on. Besides, it was nothing overly serious - he was just completely obsessed with his very being. But he figured that if Regulus didn’t want him to keep writing, he would absolutely know about it. Something else, he thought. He needed to do something else, or this was going to keep driving him crazy. But what? James groaned loudly, and dramatically threw his face into his pillow.

How on earth do I get him to let his walls down?

Chapter Text

So maybe James didn’t have the best game. He panicked, okay? Sue him.

Remus smirked as he sidled up to James, who was currently hiding behind a shelf of books on appearance alteration. “So, what did you put in his book this week, loverboy?”

“Umm…” James didn’t know how to answer that. He was too busy trying to find a way to get back the parchment and burn it.

“That bad, huh?” 

“Maybe,” James groaned and banged his head against Remus’s shoulder twice for dramatic effect. “I might have written ‘Do you like me? Check yes or no’, and drew little boxes for him to mark.”

Remus blinked at James.

“You had better be taking the piss, mate.”

“Hey! I’m not good at this sort of thing, you know that! I tripped over my feet and made a fool of myself over Lily for years with nothing to show for it. I am so bad at this!”

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, and James could tell the mother hen in him was on its last straw.

“For Merlin’s sake Prongs. Regulus likes the others notes you’ve been sending him, why didn’t you just do another one of those character analyses, it’s romance week! Write a sappy love poem or something, just make it obvious that it’s about Regulus. Besides, the poor boy doesn’t even know that the notes are coming from you, how on earth could he even respond to that?”

“Of course he knows it’s me, Moony, I would have signed my name otherwise,” James stuttered, ignoring Remus’s rather smart advice about romancing him with a poem.

In response, Remus stared at James, hung jaw and wide eyes. “No he doesn’t, you blithering fool. Why the hell else would Pandora try to watch his bag every week!”

Wait, wait. What?

“Because she wants to catch me in the act and make me admit it, I don’t know!” James was really panicking now. Could Remus be right? He had seen Pandora eyeing the room more often than actually reading.

As if reading his mind, Remus says “James, I love you, but when have I ever been wrong about this sort of thing? Or anything ever, actually?”

“Modest as ever Moony,” James huffed. “Not the point though! Remember that Alice in Wonderland week? I spoke to him about McGonagall and the Chesire Cat, and then wrote him a whole passage comparing professors with characters!”

“James, think about this objectively. Sure that’s where your mind goes, but this is a Black. Just think about how Sirius would have reacted. At first he probably treated it with suspicion, but once he realised it wasn’t disappearing, he probably wouldn’t want anything to shatter some sort of perfect illusion he’s made up in his head, so he’s not even going to try to figure out who actually sat down and wrote the passages, he’ll probably pretend it’s just appearing out of thin air. They're distrustful of good things, don't want them to be tainted” Oh. Godric.

“And also, can you imagine any world in which Regulus wouldn’t take the absolute mick out of you if he knew about this? Seriously Prongs, you’re supposed to be intelligent mate.”

James felt like an absolute moron.

“Moony, I will lay my life down for you if you help me get that paper back,” he whined to Remus, not caring how pathetic he sounded.

Remus scoffed, rolling his eyes into the back of his skull. “Prongs, if I had a galleon for every time you needed me to save you, I’d be as rich as you, you fool.”

James grinned anyways, knowing his friend would still do anything for him. “Mate, you’re my lifesaver.”

“Regulus, Pandora. How is Mr. Darcy treating you this fine week?”

Remus sat down at the table, where the two of them were animatedly comparing Sacred 28 families and their physical traits with breeds of toads in Pandora’s Care of Magical Creatures textbook.

Regulus smirked at Remus, “I think you know where I stand on this Remus - he’s the king of all men. Reserved, rich, judgemental, hates socialising, and all the rest of it…”

“Careful mate, don’t want to fall for someone exactly like you. It would ruin your life,” Remus scoffed.

“Ruin my life? Mate, you’re the one who decided to shack up with my brother. Do you have a death wish?”

Remus rolled his eyes, chuckling. “Sometimes I wonder. Pandora?”

“Oh, I don’t really read the books you set. I find them all dreadfully boring. I’m just here to observe.” Regulus stifled a laugh. One of his favourite things about Pandora was her bluntness. Remus stared at her wide-eyed, but he quickly regained composure and nodded at her. “I can respect that.”

“Good. So, what did you come over here to ask us? It wasn’t really about the book, I know you’ve already talked about it to Regulus and Lily; before anyone else got here,” Pandora asked. Regulus scoffed at her total lack of subtlety.

“Oh, nothing really. I was just hoping the two of you could help me with restacking a shelf? It’s Madam Pince’s price for us to keep running the club here. Usually Lily helps me, but she’s, errr, occupied at the moment,” Remus muttered.

Regulus glanced over to find Lily reading a book at a table completely alone. He raised his eyebrows at Remus. “Okay fine, she’s not really busy, we’re just having, um, a spat at the moment. Please?”

As if Regulus could turn him down.

“Remus Lupin, you are so very lucky to have me,” he sighed, following Remus down the aisles, bringing Pandora along with him.

After twenty minutes of organising shelves, Pandora offering up comments on her preferred methods of befriending forest creatures as she went, they headed back to the club, where nearly everyone had dispersed. Regulus froze, when he saw someone bent over his bag.

“Remus, why exactly is Lily going through my things? And why exactly did you cover for her to do so?” Regulus said incredulously, eyes boring into Remus’s soul, or so he hoped.

Remus sighed; clearly resigning himself to the fact that he wasn’t getting away with it. Regulus supposed he was used to Black brother stubbornness by now. “Look, I’m sorry. Maybe you’d better go talk to her about it, yeah?”

Regulus poked his fingers into Remus’s chest and declared, rather dramatically, “We will discuss this later, Lupin.” Regulus knew he wouldn’t actually discuss this again, but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make his friend squirm.

He walked over to Lily, who was now pretending to be engrossed in a conversation with a 4th year Ravenclaw boy.

“Leave,” Regulus said to the kid, not even bothering to look him in the eyes as he raised his brows at Lily. “But I’m–” “Now.”

Lily batted her eyelashes at him as the Ravenclaw huffed and walked off. “Regulus, hey!”

He rolled his eyes; they both knew she’d been caught. “Listen, Lily, I’m not mad, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised. Why have you kept this such a secret? We’re friends aren’t we?”

She shuffled awkwardly, looking at her feet before replying, “Err, yes we are. I just didn’t know how to tell you,” she said.

Regulus didn’t understand this. “Lily, we talk about books nearly every single day. Why are you being so secretive about who you are in the parchments, and then never saying anything about it? You know everything you’ve written for me could have just been a regular conversation, right?”

Lily’s eyes widened. And then she laughed.

“Oh Morgana, I get it. Nope, misunderstanding mate. Not my notes. Weird you thought that, honestly.”

“You were going through my bag at the very meetings I usually get the notes? Actually, if it wasn't to write me notes, why were you doing that?”

“Good luck getting your hands on veritaserum. I’ve been sworn to secrecy,” Lily smiled at him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Evans.”

She laughed as she handed his bag back, waving over his shoulder to Pandora and Remus, both of them stifling laughs.

“Not at all, Black. Come see me tomorrow, yeah? I have something to show you.”

Regulus called out after Lily, who was already leaving the library, “Not in a million years, Evans!”

“Fifth floor corridor, near the portrait of the Wild Hunt. After breakfast.”

Regulus stared after her retreating figure, feeling extremely confused. That was so strange. He checked his bag; everything was still there. There was nothing in the bag he had to hide, either. There was an obvious lack of a note, though.

“Please tell me you got it back, Lils.”

She sighed, pulling out a slip of parchment from her pocket. James crushed her in an overexcited hug.

“James, this is genuinely one of the stupidest things I’ve seen you do. And that’s coming from me,” she scorned, pushing James off her. “He nearly caught me though. I’m not a fan of lying to him, he’s too smart. You owe me big time, Potter.”

Yeah, that seems about right, James thought. He seemed to owe everyone at the moment. One more favour to ask, and this one, he was very nervous about. Hopefully it would all be worth it soon.

Chapter Text

“You have got to be taking the mick.”

“Nope, I’m completely serious mate.”

“Actually I am,” Sirius replied easily, earning a snigger from both of the boys.

“Wait no I’m not laughing with you now, James! This isn’t bloody funny mate. My little, infant, tiny, baby brother? What in Godric’s name are you thinking?” James winced at the shrill tone Sirius was taking on. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for this boy, but Merlin did he tend towards melodramatics.

This was only further cemented in James’s mind as Sirius threw himself onto the couch in the near-empty common room, hand over his forehead. He suppressed a laugh as he saw Remus roll his eyes from the corner of his eyesight. Now was not the time to laugh at his, currently very highly strung, friend.

“Padfoot, calm down mate. This can’t really be news, can it? We’ve been friends for months now, surely you didn’t actually think I was religiously going to a book club to read!”

“Oi, that’s my club too, you arse,” Remus piped up from his spot on the floor, where he had rolls parchment and numerous ink pots spilled over the coffee table.

Sirius scoffed at that. “James’s extracurriculars consist of quidditch… Actually yeah that’s all Moony.”

“Hey! Not true,” James squawked indignantly.

“You two are useless. And currently losing track of the conversation,” Remus interrupted. He gestured between the two of them, “Baby brother, future amoureux, talk,” he sighed, burying his nose back into his Potions essay.

“Right! My brother, Prongs! You perverted menace, what is wrong with you!”

James glanced over at Remus, trying to communicate with his eyes how badly he needed his help, but it was to no avail - he wouldn’t lift his eyes from his book. Traitor.

“Mate, he’s less than a year younger than me. I’m not a nonce, you overdramatic git. I think he’s great, besides you told us to get closer with him! You can’t fault me for that.”

Sirius shot up from his spot on the couch, flipping his curls over his shoulders as he poked his fingers into James’s chest.

“I told you to be civil with him, not to send him disgusting love letters and nonce on him Prongs!” Sirius sputtered, shrill voice piercing through the common room. “Just let me breathe okay, and leave my baby brother the hell alone!”

Sirius stormed up the staircase to their dorm. James started after him, hating his friend being in a strop, especially when he was involved. Remus stopped him though.

“You know he’s fine, right Prongs? We both know Sirius would be handling this a lot worse if he wouldn’t come around eventually, right?” Remus whispered to James, who was suddenly aware of all the sets of staring eyes that had made their way into the common room after hearing their squabble.

The thing was, James didn’t know this. Sure, Remus was his boyfriend, but James knew Sirius like the back of his hand. He couldn’t imagine Sirius ever locking a door behind him after a fight if it wasn’t something he meant with his whole chest.

James whispered as he met Remus’s eyes, “I’m not so sure, Moony. I’m in too deep with Reg now, but Sirius is my soulmate. What if he can’t cope?”

If it were anyone else, they probably wouldn’t have noticed the way Remus’s eyes softened at that, despite the smirk growing on his face. James noticed though.

“Fifteen galleons says he comes back down, and you two kiss and make up before midnight,” Remus sticks his hand out to James, who begrudgingly takes it and shakes.

“Only because I want to nick your money to pay for this week's Butterbeer, Moony.”

“Oh sweet Jamesie boy, what an innocent fool you are.”

“It’s James, you blind prick!”

“Barty, you don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not,” Regulus sighed, trying his very best not to slap Barty across the face. “Besides, I went for a walk with Lily this morning. We gossiped literally the whole time. I think she would have mentioned it to me if it was James.”

“I don’t even have to be at your little nerd meet-ups to know that it is him, don’t be so dense, little Reggie,” Barty chuckled, whilst ducking to avoid a book Regulus threw at his head.

Pandora sat up from where she had been lying on Regulus’s bed; head in Evan’s lap. “He’s right, Regulus. It’s not our fault, nor his, that you very intentionally ignore every sappy heart-eye he shoots at you.”

Regulus scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Panda, if you watch him so closely, how come you’ve never caught him with the notes, huh? Spell that one out for me.”

“First of all, don’t be rude to your soulmate; guiding light; love-of-your-life, Regulus,” he rolled his eyes again, “secondly, it could fall within the realm of possibility that I may have been slightly… distracted, the past few meetings.”

Regulus shot an eyebrow up at Pandora, “What do you mean, distra…”

And then he thought about it. The way Regulus saw Pandora’s eyes follow the sound of Lily’s laughter. The way she ignored everything Remus had to say about literature, but listened intently when Lily was discussing the week's books. The way her voice became slightly pinched and nervous, the way she laughed just a bit too loud whenever Lily joked. The way Pandora turned her head at every glimpse of red hair when they wandered the halls.

So much for helping out a friend, Panda.

He wanted to admonish her for neglecting her ‘best friend duties’, as she had dubbed them, but Regulus loved both girls, and actually couldn’t think of a better pairing. He was only disappointed he hadn’t seen it yet himself.

Pandora looked up at him, rather sheepishly, through impossibly ivory eyelashes. She was a brat; this girl knew she had Regulus wrapped around her fingers. He sighed, very dramatically.

“It’s okay, Panda. I think you two are really well suited.

She dropped the wounded puppy dog act, and grinned brilliantly up at him. “Thank you!”

Barty and Evan glanced at each other, confusion painting their features. “Um, who’s dating my little sister?” Evan ventured.

“Lil-”

“Unimportant. Yes, Panda's got a crush, great news. Spectacular. Back to my issues. Secret notes. Evans lying to me.” Regulus raised his eyebrows as his friends stared back at him.

Barty cleared his throat, “Oh, sorry, I thought you were listing actual issues.”

“I was. I’m done. You lot are smart, supposedly. Fix it.”

Regulus rolled his eyes for what seemed the tenth time in ten minutes when his friends started cackling at him.

It was Evan who spoke first, spitting out the words between breathless laughs, “It’s not that hard Regulus. You like Potter, who cares about the silly notes! Go find him, push him up against a wall and kiss him until you can’t breathe. You overthink these things too much, mate.”

By the time Evan was done with his rant, Regulus was already leaving the dorm, flicking two fingers up in a V at his friends over his shoulder.

“Oh Reg, don’t be like that! He’s not wrong, you know,” Pandora called after him.

“I hate you all.”

A chorus of giggles followed him down the staircase.

Regulus fancied himself in strife, at this point. Evan wasn’t wrong. Kissing James did sound fun, very fun. But he was wrong - he did care about the notes. He found himself looking forward to them all week. They were witty; their secret author clearly intelligent as well as funny, and well-read.

He couldn’t help but hope it was James. It was foolish of him to hope, though. James was an avid reader, sure, Regulus knew this. But James Fleamont Potter had the subtlety of a horde of elephants. These letters were so secretive that after literal months, Regulus still had no idea who was slipping them into his bag. James couldn’t manage that; he always had to shout his affections from the rooftops. No, he knew that his secret author was probably just Remus or Dorcas or someone taking the mick out of him, narrowly avoiding being hexed into oblivion due to the simple fact he wasn’t sure who it was.

Regulus paced the length of the common room one more time, spotting Pandora shuffling down the stairs. 

She smiled weakly at him.

“Don’t dwell on it, Reg. Come sit with me at breakfast?”

Regulus softened, as he always did when it came to his friend. He nodded in answer, and she mock-saluted him before heading back up to the towers.

Never place a bet against Remus Lupin.

How long had James been giving other people this advice? Not long enough for it to sink in, clearly.

Less than an hour after Sirius had disappeared, huffing and spouting curses at James, he sheepishly made his way down the staircase and into the common room, tying Remus’s bedrobe around him.

Remus raised his eyebrows at James, who frowned, and mouthed money’s in my trunk. Remus then stalked upstairs to give the two some space.

James and Sirius sat somewhat awkwardly, not a word passing between them while they played with their hands and stared at the fireplace. It was Sirius who decided to break the silence, after about five minutes of clumsily dancing around each other.

“So, do you really like him?” Sirius whispered, eyes stubbornly glued to the dying embers.

James let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and smiled at him softly, “I really do, Pads.”

Sirius met his eyes then, and James could read them so clearly after years of practice, but the words left Sirius’s mouth anyways.

“Please don’t mess him around, Prongs. We’ve just started speaking again. He’s all I’ve got left of my family. I couldn’t bear it to see the two of you hurting each other.”

James pretended to miss the tear that slipped down Sirius’s cheek.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Pads.” Sirius looked back to the fireplace and smiled softly, before resting his head on James’s shoulder. The two sat like that, totally at home with each other, for a while.

“Wanna help me write a letter to seduce your baby brother?”

Sirius stood up at lightning speed, and gagged. “We were having a moment, Prongs,” Sirius was glaring at James, who grinned wickedly. “Ugh. That’s so gross. I hate you,” Sirius called over his shoulder, as he walked back upstairs to the common room.

“Love you too, Padfoot.”

James sat on the couch for a while longer, relief flooding his veins now that he knew he had Sirius’s support.

For the life of him though, he couldn’t come up with anything to write to Regulus. After a few minutes of staring at his hands, thoughts whirling through his brain, he grabbed his cloak and the map, and headed up to the seventh floor, to think for a while.

Before long, James was trudging back up to his dorm, a carefully written letter in one hand. Merlin and Morgana both, please let this go well.

Chapter Text

“You are… shockingly calm right now,” Sirius mused.

James supposed he was right. After sitting in the Room of Requirement for a couple of hours, he’d nervously written out a poem to Regulus. It wasn’t even based on a book. Usually, James needed some sort of storyline to draw on; couldn’t really make something out of nothing, so to speak. But the second he had put quill to parchment, the words had flowed with ease. As it turned out, Regulus was the perfect muse.

He was really rather proud of it, and if Regulus understood the cryptic line at the bottom, they would be meeting tonight.

Despite the burn that he had felt for Regulus for so long; the near ache in his bones when he wasn’t around, this didn’t seem like such a big moment. He wasn’t nervous. It just felt so… natural. Nearly like it was inevitable.

Alright, so maybe he shouldn’t feel so cocky about it. But James was no idiot, he had seen Regulus, when he thought no one was watching, pull out creased and worn, but familiar, bits of parchment from his pockets to read. He had seen the tug at the corner of Regulus’s lips, fighting a smile, before hastily shoving the parchments away. That gave James hope.

Maybe he should have been less… cryptic, secret. Maybe he should have just asked Regulus to Madam Puddifoot’s, or given him flowers. But this seemed right somehow - he didn’t want to scare Regulus off, so he gave him something to get attached to before anything real happened. And sue him, maybe he also just liked the thrill of the chase.

So, he shrugged at Sirius. “I know, but I just have a feeling, Padfoot. Even if I’m wrong, I’ll just have to suck it up and move on.”

Okay, so maybe that was a lie. James thought he might combust if Regulus rejected him.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, mate. Reggie’s so… guarded. He really struggles letting people in,” Sirius said softly, nearly a whisper.

James sighed, before kicking his feet off his own bed, and trudging across the dorm to Sirius.

“I know, Sirius,” James replied, sitting on the end of the bed so their knees were touching. “Like I said, I’ll back off if I need to. I think it will be okay though.”

Sirius nodded, combing a finger through his hair. James recognised Sirius falling into his own thoughts, and chuckled at his anxious ball of a best friend, before changing the subject.

“So, did you hear that Pete managed to steal those baby flobberworms last night while you were sweet talking Sprout? I think we’ll set Remus on Phase C tomorrow, yeah?”

What the hell is wrong with them?

“What the hell is wrong with you idiots?” Regulus scoffed at his dormmates, who were currently standing at the foot of his bed, grinning maniacally down at him. What an awful way to wake up.

“We have a plan,” Evan informed him, Barty nodding at his side.

“Salazar, save me.” They both look deeply offended at this, which had Regulus rolling his eyes.

“I’ll have you know, our plans are excellent,” Barty said. “Anyway, you have to hear this one.”

Regulus sat up to stretch his aching muscles, and started trudging around the room; getting ready for the day, as his friends spewed off the plan they’d come up with.

“We’re going to steal Potter’s-” 

“No.”

Barty was pouting now. Pathetic. “Please Regulus, it’s for you!”

“Why would I have you thieving on my… on Potter?” Ah, Merlin.

“Your? Your Potter, is that what I heard there?” Evan snarked at him.

“I was going to say my brother's friend,” Regulus lied through his teeth.

Barty continued regaling Regulus with his idea, “Potter has a free first period, we’ll find him and get him to write something. If the handwriting matches, that way you’ll know for sure.”

“What exactly would you get him to write? And how, pray tell, are you going to coerce him into writing it?”

Evan laughed at this, “Regulus, you’ve met Potter, right? He’ll write first, ask what it’s for later.”

Unfortunately, Regulus was quite sure he was right.

“Fair point, but please don’t do it.” I don’t want to be disappointed. “I don’t want to know.”

Barty and Evan share a terrifying glance, which had Regulus groaning again.

“No.”

The three of them started walking to breakfast, collecting Dorcas and Pandora on the way. Pandora, who seemed to be able to read Regulus no matter how high up he built his walls, slipped a hand into his. She didn’t say anything, just held his hand all the way to the Great Hall.

Regulus was not prone to physical affection. He supposed it was a byproduct of his upbringing. It wasn’t that he was averse to the actual touch per se, more that opening up to someone enough to allow them that close usually ended up in tragedy. 

Pandora was different though. She’d waltzed into Regulus’s life with an ability like no other to break his walls down. Where physical touch was downright awkward, if not painful, with others, it was grounding with Pandora.

They only let go of each other's hand to start piling food onto their plates.

“Happy Friday, children. Everyone, please propose your weekend plans,” Dorcas said.

“Terrorise small children.”

“Ruin the Gryffindor quidditch practice and bathe in the glory.”

“Stalk Sluggie and make weird noises until he thinks he’s going crazy.”

“Picnic in that park in Hogsmeade with a spread from Rosmerta. Oh, and we can pick the strawberries in that clearing near the forest.”

Dorcas rubbed her chin in mock thought, before announcing, “Pandora wins. Again. For the thirty-seventh week in a row. Congratulations, Panda.”

Pandora winked at Dorcas, and Regulus overheard her whispering in Barty’s ear, “I hear that potion we’ve been researching has strawberries in it…”

Regulus rolled his eyes when Barty kissed Pandora’s cheek. Dorcas underestimated her - the pair were utterly terrifying together. Regulus wanted absolutely no part in whatever nefarious activities they would be getting up to with this potion.

“Regulus, your brother and Potter are headed over here,” Evan, who was sat across from Regulus, pointed out.

Regulus whipped his head around, and sure enough, Sirius and James were there, glued at each other’s hip; heads bent together. He tried not to feel jealous at the closeness they shared.

“Sirius. James. To what do I owe this visit?”

“You’re supposed to say pleasure, Reggie,” Sirius complained.

“I’d hardly say I’m pleased though,” he replied, to which James snorted.

“I just wanted to see if you’d sign this birthday card for Andy. I don’t usually ask but, well, we’re talking more now. Than usual. I mean - just, would you-”

Regulus’s heart clenched. “Yeah Sirius, I’ll sign it. Pass it over.”

Regulus signed the card for his cousin, who he hadn’t heard from in a long time. He added a little heart next to his name - childish, sure, but he was feeling a little nostalgic.

Sirius thanked him and started walking off, but Regulus abruptly stood up, and made his way back to Sirius.

“Sirius, wait.”

“What’s up?”

Regulus sighed, “Andromeda… just, if you see her soon, maybe you’ll mention that I miss her and that, well, if she’s okay with it of course, I’d like to see her again.”

Sirius brightened at that, and wrapped an arm around Regulus’s shoulder.

“She’ll be so pleased, Reggie. She asks after you all the time. We’ll go over for Christmas, maybe. You can meet Ted and little Nymphadora. That is, if you’re ready of course.”

Regulus could read the subtext in what Sirius said. 'If you’re ready'. If you’ll leave, Sirius meant. Regulus had been grappling with this for a long time.

“Maybe, Sirius,” he replied, hoping this would appease his brother. “I think I might be.”

Sirius ruffled his hair, smacked an embarrassing kiss on his cheek, and ran back off with James, who flashed a small smile at Regulus before joining Sirius in whatever antics they’d planned for the day. He tried not to fixate on the glow that seemed to emanate from James when he was happy, which was most of the time.

When he got back to the Slytherin table, he saw his friends leaning over a bit of parchment.

“What is that?”

“None of us saw it happen,” Pandora said, “but there was parchment on your plate. We thought it might be the mysterious author guy, especially since James was just here, but it’s blank. Probably someone just dropped it.”

She handed it over to Regulus, who opened the parchment. Which was most decidedly not blank.

He flashed the writing towards his friends. “None of you can see this?”

They all shook their heads, and Regulus eyed the writing. “Brilliant,” he breathed. And it was truly impressive magic. Far beyond what anyone in school should be able to muster.

He quickly scanned the message; heart lurching at the last line.

“Barty, Evan, I know you were planning on doing it anyways, but don’t worry about your ‘plan’. Seriously,” he said, not even glancing up from the paper to speak.

Before any of his friends could question him, Regulus stalked off to an alcove he’d discovered a few years back. Once he was alone, he allowed himself to read the poem again, properly this time. As the beautiful prose was sinking in, he reread it. Again, and again, and again, until the words were etched into his mind, and his heart.

Regulus had, technically, prepared for tonight. He tamed his curls in a way that framed his face nicely. He wore his nicest casual robes, over a pair of black trousers, a soft blue sweater dotted with little stars, and a pair of worn platform muggle boots Sirius had bought him when they first reconciled - ‘they’re called Docs Reggie, they’re my favourite’. He even spritzed some of his jasmine perfume on, something he rarely did these days.

But Merlin, was he stressed, now that he was pacing up on the seventh floor. He stared at the poem again, sure he was in the right place, as he glanced up at Barnabas the Barmy. What if the author didn’t show? What if it was a cruel, elaborate prank to catch Regulus at his most vulnerable? What if-

“Hello, Regulus,” he heard a voice caress the side of his neck. No, not just a voice. Regulus’s heart was beating at an alarming rate. No, it couldn’t be. But it was. James Potter.

Regulus, pretending not to panic, put on a false smirk, whipped around, and found himself face to face with beautiful hazel eyes. And… freckles? He hadn’t noticed them before; they nearly blended into James’s bronze skin. They were lovely.

“You’re late.”

James was not put off by Regulus’s attitude. Rather, he smirked back.

“No, I think I’m right on time. Shall we?” James extended an arm out to Regulus, who took it.

“Why are we up here? Nothing much to do, although I must say, I enjoyed getting acquainted with Barmy and his ballet.”

“Patience, Reg.”

Out of habit, Regulus went to correct him. Sirius called him Reggie, but to everyone else, he was Regulus. He caught himself before he did though. Reg. He’d never much cared for the nickname before, but it sounded different coming out of James’s mouth. Lyrical, almost. The honeyed tone made him smile, so he allowed it.

“What?” James asked, taking in Regulus’s grin.

“Nothing. We’re pacing. Why-” and Regulus shut up. Because a large oak door with thick brass handles was appearing, as if out of thin air, in front of him. His eyes widened, as he took in James’s knowing smirk.

“I didn’t know this place was real, I thought it was only a legend.”

James shook his head. “I want to show you what I’ve been cultivating, I suppose, since my third year.

“Okay,” Regulus whispered, overwhelmed by all that had happened in the last ten minutes.

James held the door open for him, and he walked inside.

Wow. Regulus suddenly couldn’t breathe. James had just led him into the most beautiful room he’d ever seen in his life. The wallpaper was a dark navy, not unlike the night sky, littered with small yellow suns in a medieval style artwork. There was a small stone fireplace, and facing it was a plush sage green armchair, a small stack of pillows and a blanket strewn at its feet. Other than those small features, the room was full of books. Shelves lined the walls; books organised by genre. Where the shelves were full, there were multiple knee-high stacks of books placed randomly on the floor. Many were held open by a quill; Regulus could see notes scribbled in the margins.

Regulus turned around to face James, who was staring at him with a soft smile on his face. “James,” he whispered, unable to say much else, his brain rendered speechless, totally in awe.

“I’ve never shown this to anyone else. It’s always been pretty private, because no one ever really understood,” James sighed.

“Remus reads, I know that. But we read differently, and usually we don’t find the beauty we see in literature to be similar. Which is fine, of course, but then you came along and, well… I’ve read so many books, Regulus. I thought I knew everything there was to know, understood every intention, every character, every motif. And then we talked, and it opened my eyes up. I’ve never been so excited to talk about literature because for the first time, it was new, and invigorating, and exciting. I wanted to share it with you so badly, which is why I started writing you those notes.”

Regulus sucked in a sharp breath. Hearing James speak like this was raw and honest. It was funny - everyone, Regulus included, had seen James Potter as a total open book. But the way he was talking now was completely different. It felt deeply intimate.

“I’m sorry if you didn’t like them. I should have stopped sending them when you didn’t respond-”

“I love them,” Regulus cut off James.

“You - what?”

“I love the notes. I didn’t know it was you.”

“Reg-”

“I didn’t want to know, who it was, that is. Because I didn’t want to be disappointed if the author wasn’t the annoying, loud quidditch captain who follows my brother around like a lost puppy.”

Merlin, why did he say that? Regulus just admitted his biggest secret, and insulted James all in one go.

“Oh,” James breathed.

Something clicked in Regulus’s mind, and it made his heart soar.

“You never crossed a line. You always did it quietly. That isn’t really your style, James.”

James, who had been looking rather awkwardly at his shoes, met Regulus’s eyes. He stepped forward, and lifted his hand. He hesitated for a moment, but kept reaching up, and brushed a curl out of Regulus’s eye so gently he thought he might cry.

“Well yeah, but it’s your style,” he grinned, still stroking Regulus’s hair.

“James,” Regulus sighed wistfully, feeling his heart flutter against his chest.

“Pick some books.” James said, taking a small step back. Regulus was already mourning the loss of his touch.

“What?”

“We’re not just staying in here tonight, you know. I just wanted to show you this. Maybe help you understand why I was so drawn to you, at least at first. Pick some books, Reg.”

James was elated. Regulus not only loved his notes, he wanted James to be the one writing them. He had been unashamedly staring at Regulus; his beautiful curls, his soft skin, the dimples that appeared when he smiled, while he was picking out some books.

“Oh, maybe not those ones, Reg, I’ve written all over them. I can grab you a new copy-”

“No. I want to read these, see what you thought.”

And, oh. For some reason, James’s heart swelled at the idea of Regulus reading his most intimate thoughts; the ones from when he isn’t performing for someone else.

He ignored the heat creeping up into his neck. “Okay Regulus. Ready?”

Regulus nodded, and readily accepted James’s proffered arm.

“You can’t tell anyone about this, but since it’s after curfew…” James threw his invisibility cloak over their heads.

Regulus just blinked at him. “This makes so much sense.”

James only grinned in response, and started leading Regulus towards the astronomy tower.

He knew that Regulus loved to stargaze; he’d seen him on the map often enough, alone in the tower well past curfew. He’d asked Sirius about it once. He had smiled sadly and said that, for both of them, seeing the stars and the constellations was the only way they could speak to their family without the fear attached to honesty and affection. That had made James incredibly sad for the brothers, who suffered so much more than they ever let on.

The walk to the tower was silent, but not at all uncomfortable. Regulus’s grip on the crook of James’s elbow never wavered, and it was making James feel lightheaded.

When they reached the tower, they settled down, lying side by side on a blanket James had brought up here earlier in the day.

“Show me your star,” he whispered to Regulus, after a few moments.

Regulus grabbed James’s hand, and used it to point towards the Leo constellation.

“The brightest one in there.”

James smiled. He knew, already, where the star was; he just wanted Regulus to show him. As they brought their hands back down, they didn’t let go. James’s heart did a flip when Regulus started softly stroking circles on his palm.

After a few moments of peaceful silence, he let go, much to James’s chagrin, and picked out a book. White Nights, a short story by Fyodor Dostoevsky. One of James’s personal favourites.

James rolled onto his stomach, and rested his face on his elbows as he watched each expression Regulus made when he read. He saw that he was less guarded; his expressions louder than usual. James loved it.

As he watched the boy, he recalled the first time he had seen Regulus in a different light.

He was sitting across the booth from James, next to Sirius, at the Three Broomsticks. When he lifted his butterbeer to drink, it had left a small spot of froth on his nose. James thought it was so ridiculously adorable, and without thinking, he had reached across the table to wipe it away. Before painting his signature scowl on his face, James had seen a small flash of… something, he wasn’t sure what, across Regulus’s face. He’d noticed the soft silver of his eyes, before they darkened back to a grey. James felt like a tonne of bricks had been dropped right on his chest, as he realised, Regulus was beautiful.

People always whispered about the Black brothers in the corridors, words like ‘sexy’, ‘fit’, and ‘hot’ thrown around, and it wasn’t as if James wasn’t aware that Regulus was attractive.

But now, James couldn’t understand how he had missed that Regulus Black was ethereal; beautiful in the way of mythology, poetry.

And now, here he was, beautiful as ever, smiling softly at James’s innermost thoughts. His heart lurched into his throat.

“James, what is it?” Regulus asked, meeting his eyes.

Why not tell him?

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, as if it was a secret between just the two of them.

Regulus blushed, and James thought he was in heaven; the way the soft pink lightly dusted his cheeks, right up to his glistening eyes.

Regulus stood up, offering his hand to James, and then took him over to the ledge of the tower. They both leaned on the railing, staring at the sky for a minute.

“James, what I’m about to say is going to be excessively sappy.”

James was thrilled. “Excellent.”

“This won’t happen often,” Regulus replied, rolling his eyes.

James nodded, and covered one of Regulus’s hands, which rested on the railing, with his own.

“The way you think, it’s lovely, James. You’re really smart, that much is obvious. You’ve written me intense analyses and have put tropes and characters and phrasing under a microscope. But this, today… this is different. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t for my eyes.

This is passion. You don’t read to be intelligent, it’s because you love it. You find every little detail and highlight why it makes you feel things. I can feel your emotion pouring out of every note you write and… it’s so lovely James. It’s beautiful.”

James wanted to cry. Did, in fact, feel a small tear slip. He had never felt so openly seen before.

Regulus had been staring nervously at his hands for the whole speech, so James cupped his cheek, and gently turned his face, until he met his eyes.

“Regulus…”

“I’ve always thought you were good, James. So good, and kind, and you know full well that you’re attractive to boot. But this… I just think you’re wonderful.”

James stroked his cheekbones as if to worship him, and for once in his life, was rendered totally speechless.

But he didn’t need his words for everything.

James leaned in, and pressed a featherlight kiss to Regulus’s mouth. Then another to his nose, then his cheek.

He pulled back slightly, and took in Regulus; his dilated pupils, flushed cheeks, slightly parted lips.

“James, please,” Regulus sighed, staring at James’s lips.

James smiled softly at him, and this time, they met in the middle. They kissed reverently, drinking in the taste of each other. James kept one hand on Regulus’s jaw, and snaked the other one around his waist, to bring their bodies flush together. Regulus’s hands were buried in James’s curls, stroking them softly.

James felt as though there were fireworks exploding behind his eyes. He’d dreamt of this moment for so long, built it up in his head, and yet it was more perfect than he could have possibly imagined.

They had a lot to talk about, sure. But not for now. This was enough.

This kiss, that spoke of devotion and harmony. That was a silent promise to each other. I’m yours, it swore.

James had never been more grateful to books in his life.