Chapter Text
She's beautiful. He couldn't get enough of her. Nor can he really have her.
She was beyond his league. But even so, truth be told, he had fallen for her. And he thought, much to his dismay, that he's not worthy of her.
Intelligent, clever, kind, and caring…did he mention that she's also creative and outgoing? A master of her gear, as simple as it may be.
He wouldn't admit it. He wouldn't even dare show it. That whenever he sees her waiting for her faction phighters…whenever he sees that smile of hers…how she embraces them after their long, tiring phight…he wants that…
But he couldn't even talk to her without his defenses making him hostile against her. How he glares and holds his tongue too late to let out a snarky comment.
Suppose…that's one of the reasons he admires her. How she was patient with him, not raising her voice at him and just making an effort to have a decent talk with him. One could argue that it's just her being the understanding mentor she is…oh but how Medkit wanted to think there's more to it.
Of course…this is all just wishful thinking.
No one will ever want him…love him, the way he is. And even if someone did, he would just push them away. And he'd be lying if he wasn't hoping for them to try again.
Suppose…that's what he wants. For someone to not give up on him despite being difficult. And he saw that in her. Oh, how he wants to see her try and get past his barrier of doubt and distrust. How he wants to see her try and show him how much she cares about him.
Of course…every time she does, he just keeps denying it. Thinking it's just her being friendly.
He sees her again, laughing with her faction phighters after they had arrived from their phight.
Their eyes met.
He couldn't move.
She smiles at him and waves goodbye as she walks away with the two. He hesitated, but was able to lift his hand a bit. A small wave at her as she smiles again at his attempt to wave back.
He watched them until he could no longer see them. He dropped his hand to his side and heaved a heavy sigh.
"I can never have her…"