Work Text:
Ever since Ratio was a young boy, he knew that he was different from most people. Not because of his level of maturity at a young age or because he was more intelligent. No, he was different because he didn’t dream. He has never experienced a dream simply falling into darkness, and then waking up several hours later. It never bothered him much, as long as his body was still getting the rest it needed. It mattered not if he actually dreamed until it did.
The first time Ratio dreamed was when he was the first day he moved into the campus dorms. He watched, almost as if he was watching a movie, seeing a much older version of himself walking down a very pristine and fancy hallway surrounded by multiple people. This sight baffled him. He couldn’t recall ever visiting such a place and yet he knew exactly what this place was. It was a university and he was certain that he was a professor there. He continued to watch as this version of himself held his head high, undeterred by the flock of people around him, wearing foreign and frankly very scandalous clothing. The way this version of himself was straightforward forward leaving no room for argument not unlike himself now and yet it all felt so familiar but different at the same time. He watched until he inevitably awoke leaving him with several unanswered questions. He quickly pushed such questions far into the recesses of his mind. After all, he had better things to do than ruminate about a strange dream when he had to prepare for his classes.
The second time he dreamed, was several months later just after he finished his last midterm. There he stood before an unfamiliar man with golden blond hair, his face blurred, and yet he could understand every expression that crossed the man’s face as if he could see it.
“You don’t believe me?”
I don’t believe what? His eyes narrowed as the man took out a revolver emptying all but one of its chambers before shoving it at him and pointing straight at himself.
“Seems like I’ll need to get you up to speed on how I do things if our cooperation were to remain amicable.”
He could hear his heartbeat ringing in his ear, fear pulsing through him wanting to slap away the dangerous item from the man’s hand, but instead, he gripped it holding it steady.
He couldn’t take his eyes off the man as he smirked provocatively at him before grabbing the barrel, digging it further into his chest. Gun in hand, he stood there frozen at the sheer audacity of the man before gaining his senses and attempting to discard the gun. The man would not let go of the gun holding it close to his chest before three sounds echoed out
Click
Click
Click
“Life is a grand gamble, and I’ll always be the final victor.”
After that, he woke up with sweat running down his temple. Fear gripped him as he attempted to calm his raging heart. He had never felt so terrified, taking him several hours to recover.
The next time he dreamed it was far more peaceful compared to the last time. This time, he lay in a very luxurious bed, carding his fingers through the hair of the same man he dreamt of last time. The whole scene was so domestic it was unnerving. In front of him, the man smiled back at him pressing his smaller body into Ratio’s larger one. They fit together so naturally, like two pieces of a puzzle.
He was so distracted by the sight before him that he almost overlooked the two distinct but intertwining scents mingling in the air. The first one being an earthy, musky smell of an alpha resembling freshly fallen rain on a spring afternoon and the other is the much sweeter smell of an omega resembling the subtle smell of lavender. He instantly recognized the alpha smell emanating from the man in his arms, but couldn’t tell where the omega scent was coming from. Surely it wasn’t coming from him. He was a beta and did not emanate a scent. However that begged the question of how he could even sense the scent of the man before him. As a beta, he could not emit scents nor pick up on them.
Before he can ruminate about it more, the man gets a call on his phone. Moving out of the bed, the man answers his phone. Ratio’s heart aches watching the man slowly moving farther and farther away from him. Then he wakes up, the feeling of emptiness and longing pulling at his heart as he tries to make sense of the dream.
From then on he continued to dream of the man, each one showing another light on their confusing relationship. Some of the dreams were of them bickering, acting like they hated each other while others showed a softer light to them. Each time he grew more and more confused as to the reasons behind these dreams as the strange sense of longing grew with every dream.
The last dream he dreamt was not of the man. At least he thinks so. Far off in the distance, a strange humanoid monster rises into the air. Their metallic voice rang off into the bizarre landscape, cackling at his unidentified opponents. He should be afraid, but he wasn’t. In fact, he felt a strange calm over him even as the monster opened the sky with the toss of his coin sending hundreds more tumbling into the ground. Anticipation clawed at his being watching the events unfold from a distance. Just as the monster lands the strike everything turned black and white. Time froze for just a second as a red slash cut through the monster leaving nothing in its wake behind. He should be happy. The monster was defeated and the heroes of the story got their happy ending like in the fairytales. So why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like he was the one who got sliced rather than the monster? Why does it feel like he lost something he could never gain back? Most importantly why is he crying?
He remembered being awakened by his roommate as they attempted to calm him down. His body felt so cold and empty, helpless to the unwanted waves of emotions that were his and yet not his.
From that day on, he would never experience another dream as if to tell him there was simply nothing left to be shown.
—
A year passed. Ratio no longer thought about the strange dream simply chalking it up to the stress of the first year of university. That was until he saw him.
As he slowly walked across campus, trying to find a peaceful place to settle down and study, he paused catching a glimpse of a familiar figure. Before he could decide what to do, his body had already chosen to act for him. Running up to the figure he grabbed onto his arm scared that he would leave. He was soon met with the most mesmerizing eyes he had ever seen. Pink and blue circle the man’s pupils creating a hypnotic effect taking his breath away. They seem all so familiar like they should have belonged to the man in his dreams, and yet… why did they not seem quite right?
“Um, sir? Can I help you?” The blond man asks, tilting his head in confusion at Ratio’s act.
“Oh, sorry I did not mean to offend, you reminded me of someone. Sorry to bother you,” he says apologetically, loosening his grip to leave. The feeling of idiocy rose up in him. How obsessed with his dreams did he have to be to mistake the man before him as one of his apparitions?
“None taken, actually I’m a new transfer student to this university and can’t seem to find any of my classes. Could you help me?” The man spoke up, his eyes wide in anticipation.
Ratio didn’t really want to be someone’s tour guide today, especially after embarrassing himself in front of sed person but for some reason, he couldn’t say no to those eyes. “Fine, I suppose I have nothing pressing to attend to at the moment. What are your class numbers?”
“Oh, thank you! You are a lifesaver. I don’t know how I would be able to look my sister in the face if I told her I missed my classes because I got lost. But honestly, this campus is so unnecessarily big,” He says cheerfully before pulling up his schedule on his phone to show Ratio.
“By the way, my name is Kakavasha, what’s yours?”
“Veritas, my name is Veritas Ratio.”
“Nice to meet you Veritas.”
“A pleasure to meet you too, Kakavasha. Now, we should try to get a move on if you want to make it to your class on time. I know the building that most of your classes are in, so follow me.”
“Hahaha, alright lead the way Veritas.”
—
Slowly, over the next few years, Veritas and Kakavasha got closer together. First, they started as friends bickering over the smallest of things slowly letting them open their hearts to one another. Ratio learned a lot about Kakavasha over the time they spent together like his favorite food, his extreme luck, and that he was a beta just like Ratio. Eventually, they started spending every waking moment with each other.
It was a surprise to no one when they started to get together as a couple. Many people on the campus had already put bets on who would confess first or when they would finally get together. It was only after they got together though, that they found out how relieved everyone was. According to Jelena (Kakavasha’s friend), “It was like watching the most awkward 30 chapters of slow-burn fanfiction that you know how it will end but can't do anything about it.”
After they got together, Kakavasha almost immediately wanted to show Ratio off to his family. Ratio was absolutely flabbergasted when Kakavasha brought it up but Kakavasha assured him that it wouldn’t be anything big just a get-to-know-him. He was skeptical but decided to go along with it. All of his worries were quickly brushed aside once he met Kakavasha’s family as they instantly welcomed him with open arms. It didn’t take long for Ratio to think of Kakavasha’s family as his second family.
Now Ratio was engaged to the man of his dreams believing that nothing in the world could prevent his happiness.
—
He was certain that he was dreaming, at least he should be. There was no explanation why he was standing in the brightly lit room with nothing except a desk pushed off to the side with a vase of white lilies and an open window shining bright light into the room. On the window sill sat a familiar figure, a figure he hadn’t seen in a long time. Or at least he thinks it was the same man from all these years ago. Strangely enough, the man wasn’t wearing his normal flamboyant clothing, instead opting to wear a white shirt and simple blue jeans.
Just as he is about to say something the man turns around and Ratio feels like he got hit by a truck. In front of him is unmistakable the face of his beloved and yet, he knows that it is them and not him all at the same time. Several emotions barrel into him causing him to stagger. His heart, it hurts.
The man before him simply smiles sliding off the window sill to stand in front of the window. The smile he wears is full of affection, but at the same time very sad. “I’m sorry.”
Huh? Ratio's eyes widened in confusion. Why was he apologizing to him? He didn’t even know the man before him. Or did he? “Why, why are you saying sorry?”
The man just continued to smile at him. “I’m sorry, I’ve been terribly unfair to you haven’t I?”
What did that mean, how has he been unfair? Just as he is about to retort he feels himself begin to sink. As he looked down, he saw his body begin to sink into the floor. He could only stand there in horror as the ground quite literally tried to swallow him. He tried to struggle to no avail looking up at the man who was still sadly smiling at him.
“I can only hope you forgive me. This time I…” The man's voice is cut off as Ratio completely submerges into the ground below.
Ratio wakes up with a gasp. His lungs feel like they are on fire while tears stream down his face. He barely registers that someone is talking to him till he is literally shaken out of his thoughts.
“Veritas, Veritas! Look at me. You’re ok, you’re ok. Everything is fine, you’re safe. Can you tell me what’s wrong so I can help you,” The voice of his beloved Kakavasha tears through the haze of his mind, but not enough to get rid of these overwhelming feelings.
“Please, please don’t leave me. Don’t abandon me again. I don’t, I can’t go through it again,” Ratio begs, not completely understanding why he is spouting those words. Kakavasha has never abandoned him and he has no reason to think otherwise, but the words keep flowing out of his mouth.
“Shhhh, Shhhh, It’s okay. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere,” Kakavasha says, pulling Ratio close while rubbing small circles into his back. His presence is grounding, but not enough to stop the tears from falling.
Hours seemed to go by before Ratio stopped crying, exhaustion pulling at his body.
“Are you feeling better?” Kakavasha questions, propping up Ratio so he can get a better look at him.
“Mhm, thank you,” Ratio replies tiredly, voice rough and grated from the endless crying.
“You must be so tired after crying so hard. You should go back to sleep. I promise to be there when you wake up,” Kakavasha says, moving their bodies so they can comfortably sleep in each other's embrace.
Ratio doesn’t fight it, exhaustion slowly pulling his eyelids close as he listens to Kakavasha hum a melody he isn’t familiar with. The warmth of Kakavasha’s body and the beautiful melody, slowly root out the remaining tension in his body dragging him closer and closer to the realm of Morpheus.
Just before he gets dragged into the darkness he hears Kakavahsa say something he isn’t sure is a trick of the mind or simply wishful thinking.
“I promise you Ratio, this time I will stay by your side to the very end.”