Archive of Our Own

Jett didn’t learn love from his family. That’s not to say that the young actor didn’t grow up in a loving one. Quite the contrary: Jett was raised by a wealthy couple of artists who loved each other, who still brought out the best in each other to this day. By no means was he a child of a broken home. But sometimes his parents loved their respective crafts more, which meant that his parents spent majority of his growing years cooped up in their own rooms—a seemingly endless string of “cooking” for himself and being babysat by nannies and neighbors, cut only by the end of a project before threading once more.

No, Jett didn’t really learn love through his family. He learned it through film. The best memories of his childhood involved sitting on the couch where his parents would cuddle into him while watching romcoms. Hence, young Jett had come to the conclusion that love is exactly two things: first, it’s smiling at the camera during a red-carpet event with your partner by your side, as is standard for his parents; and two, it’s grand gestures and expensive gifts, which is not so standard between his parents but rather, his parents and himself.

Then, he got older. He watched his peers confess their love through giant teddy bears and boxes of chocolates only to be rejected, or worse, to date the object of their affection then break up with them only mere months later. He witnessed celebrity couples date each other for publicity, saw how the married ones would divorce years later. He watched couple bracelets snap at the irresistible pull of illicit affairs and diamonds ring-around-the-rosie down the drain. Relationships all eventually fall apart. In fact, Jett would almost be convinced that romantic love is a hoax—just a made up thing artists like to use to make compelling stories, like witchcraft or global warming—if it weren’t for the fact that his parents are still sickeningly besotted with each other.

As the years pass, Jett learns of love in different forms. He learns to love his craft just like his parents had. He learns how to love coworkers even if he never takes the time to acknowledge it—it’s cool, Angela knows he loves her. He’s starting to learn the love of and for his fans. He thinks he’s learning how to love friends, even. Being in love, however, still eludes him to this day. Sure, the characters he plays teach him quite a bit about what that kind of love might look like, but not love itself.

This brings us to Jett’s present confusion. For a lack of a better term.

Well, okay. He’s been confused about this whole predicament since he’d gotten that call from his agent.

“Come again?” Jett wasn’t sure he’d heard that right.

“Audition. Roque Records. Male love interest. Three MVs. 2PM on Thursday. I’ll see you there.”

At the time, everyone who knew about the casting thought the studio was going to debut a new female artist. He should’ve known that when it came Gustavo Roque, it all boiled down to Big Time Rush.

Gustavo Roque was about halfway to becoming six feet under when he saw pictures floating around the internet of his dogs at the local pride parade. To be fair, he didn’t tell them not to go. He just thought they wouldn’t even consider it. Looking at the pictures, however—most of them very much focused on Logan and Camille with blue, pink, and purple streaks on their faces while others zoomed in on the glitter on James’ jaw and Carlos’ brow or Kendall and Jo holding hands—it’s apparent it was a planned affair.

“It’s not that bad actually,” Kelly said, scrolling through her tablet on one of the sleek white couches of the studio. “Most people are extremely supportive.” She raised a finger without looking up. “We did lose the Mormons, though.”

Gustavo spazzed out even more, tightly wound as he was. “Not that bad!” He exclaimed. His flying spit was as pointy as his tone. “Griffin is going to walk through that door any minute now, because money always talks with slurs.”

“We don’t know for sure that Griffin is homophobic.”

“We don’t know that he isn’t.”

After years of sneaking up on them, Gustavo finally mastered the art of hearing Griffin before seeing him. “I have excellent news,” Griffin said marvelously as he entered the studio. “Logan has just become part of the Top 25 Most Eligible Bachelors Under 25.” Gustavo and Kelly’s noses wrinkled at that. There’s no such thing as bad publicity, but it still sounded like a list catered to Leonardo DiCaprio. “Apparently, liking both men and women make them like you more. You know what happens, Gustavo, when people like you?”

Gustavo blinked rapidly. “They give you money?”

“Exactly. Since the release of these photos,”—Obdul brought out prints of the exact photos that almost gave Gustavo a heart attack,—“the RCM/CBT/Globalnet Sanyoid electronic pride collection, with the endorsement of Big Time Rush, is now officially sold out. We’re making millions by the minute, Gustavo.” He gave the producer a light pat on the cheek. “Millions,” he whispered. Gustavo tried not to visibly recoil at his almost manic tone. He’s not sure he succeeded.

Griffin looked around. It was only as he did so that Gustavo felt himself suffocated by the silence. “Call the boys over. I want to ride this momentum for as long as we can, and I have a brilliant idea on just how to do it.”

Logan didn’t know exactly what he expected to happen after he’d walked down the pride parade with his friends. Maybe, that people would speculate if he was seeing some guy right now. Possibly, some looks from strangers who would suddenly look at him differently. Hopefully, a little acknowledgment from a certain blonde actor-slash-neighbor, because being noticed by a cute boy that he doesn’t really like but is still definitely his type will never cease to make Logan’s day.

What he didn’t expect was Gustavo’s very awkward, two-second hug as they entered the studio for rehearsals, right before corralling them into a room with a bright-eyed Griffin.

“What’s this about?” Kendall asked, suspicious of the CEO’s presence.

“I wanted to congratulate you boys in person,” said Griffin. “After your little stint at the pride parade, Big Time Rush is currently the most talked about band the US.” Logan tried very hard not to shrink into his chair.

It wasn’t until the old man expressed his demand for a series of music videos with Logan having a male love interest did the band collectively allow themselves to breathe deeply and exhale. When the genius of the group had come out to them, it was evident that he’d talked himself hoarse in preparation.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Carlos said. Logan wrapped himself in the scent and arms of his friends—his brothers. He didn’t even finish his speech, choked up as he was. “You don’t have to explain yourself, bud, not to us or anyone. We’re here for you.”

It’s nice, James thought, that they don’t have to stop Logan from explaining himself here as well.

“Oh, and I want a little gay smooch in one of them. For the shock value. Remember, at the end of the rainbow is a pot of gold.”

The old man’s watch beeped. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m due for another meeting. By tomorrow, we’ll be releasing rainbow coffee pods for the RCM/CBT/Globalnet Sanyoid single-serve coffee makers: the right caffeine for queens.”

Kelly briefly explained that Rocque Records will have a casting call under the name “Project Debut” to ensure its secrecy, before uneasily shifting her gaze to their producer, who’d been silently staring a hole into the table of the conference room the entire time.

Gustavo looked at his dogs, a little grown up but still a long way to go. Most boy bands don’t usually manage to stay around for this long. He surely had a talent for picking them: little freaks of nature that turn into show hounds in the spotlight. Even so, it takes a miracle to turn a dog into a popstar, and Gustavo Rocque had four of them.

“Now I don’t say this a lot, because god forbid anyone in this studio feed your big time egos,” Gustavo said, as he takes off his shades. “But I am proud of you. All of you.” The boys’ faces softened at that. Logan looked close to tears.

“We can’t say it’ll be easier moving forward,” Kelly said. “The reception of your presence at pride has been mostly positive, but unfortunately, there’s still been some backlash from alleged fans.” Carlos in particular winced at that. “Project Debut has the potential to garner a lot more attention into your dating lives. You’ll be in the spotlight for a while.”

“We’ll shine under it, just like we always do,” Logan replied, quiet and strong.

Gustavo nodded and put his shades back on.

“Does this mean we can wear more glitter at our shows?” Carlos asked. “Because there’s this kind we saw at the parade that doesn’t look like anything from the front, but when you turn your head to the side-”

“Shh. Shh.” Gustavo pinched his fingers in a universal gesture of 'shut up'. “I may consider it… after 30 laps around the studio.” Even after all these years, the band groaned in complaint. Gustavo brought out his trusty megaphone. “Thirty laps, now!”

Gustavo turned to Kelly as the boys warmed up for rehearsals. “Call Choi.” She raised her eyebrow, incredulous. A renowned director like that won’t take just any project. “Just trust me. I’ve got the perfect concept.”

Jett’s audition for Project Debut had been more of an interview than an actual audition. The questions were fairly standard at first: name, age, place of origin.

“Sexuality?”

Jett shrugged. “Anything goes, really.”

“So you’d be open to playing another man’s love interest?”

“Sure.” He didn’t even have to lie.

Relatively speaking, it didn’t even deserve a spot in Jett’s top ten weirdest auditions, but he should’ve known that it was odd when Gustavo Roque’s assistant came in the room and asked him more questions.

“If you were an angel who was romantically involved with a demon, and heaven didn’t like it, would you turn your back on heaven or the demon?”

Jett closed his eyes and thought about it. “Are those my only options?”

The dark-skinned woman raised her brow at him. “It’s a hypothetical scenario.”

“If the demon wasn’t turning their back on me, I wouldn’t turn my back on either.”

He must’ve said something they liked, because they called him a week later, right when he almost forgot about it, to inform him that he got the part. It was a good thing that he’d just finished promotions for his new movie, too, because they had him show up to a meeting the next day.

By the time he got to Rocque Records, he was almost giddy at the prospect of charming his co-star’s socks off. The meeting room was half packed with most of the production crew set to work on Project Debut, which is a lot more than he’d initially expected. A good number were simply leaning on walls or sitting on the couches that surrounded the room, and about a handful were casually sitting on the floor by a huge screen.

Jett sat comfortably in a conference room chair, confident in the fact that he was the most handsome man in the room, despite the fact that Big Time Rush just walked in.

Wait, Jett thought. Big Time Rush?

He met the gazes of his not-quite friends across the long table. While the others looked shocked or confused, Logan looked like he wanted to evacuate the building. Jett trusted that he absolutely would have, had their producer not used his large body to block the doorway.

“Dogs!” Gustavo Rocque entered the room with his assistant and an Asian man in a hoodie and cap. “This is Choi. He’ll be directing all three of our music videos for this album.” The band had the courtesy of shaking his hand before sitting down. Unsurprisingly, Jo walked in and opted to sit beside him, passing Jett a portfolio with a smile.

“It’s good to see you,” she said, as if they didn’t go out for drinks last Friday.

“Can’t say the same,” he replied. “Last time we saw each other, I couldn’t see anything in high resolution for an entire weekend.” They sat there grinning at each other until Kendall cleared his throat and tilted his head towards the screen.

Jett couldn’t help noticing out of the corner of his eye that Logan had been staring at him intently before turning his attention to the portfolio in his hands.

Rocque’s perfect concept turned out to be an alternate universe where the boys didn’t know each other at all and were born and raised in Los Angeles instead of Minnesota. It’s evident to Jett that Big Time Rush’s music and overall image was slowly deviating from their teen dream personas. Interestingly, each of the boy’s respective arcs in the series was shifting towards more somber subject matter. At least, that was what Jett picked up, only half listening as he browsed the visuals Choi and his team had planned. It seemed to the actor that while the intended color palette is mostly muted browns, there was one set reminiscent of autumn: reds and oranges and bronze scattered in the set dressing and wardrobe. It was clearly designed to seem warm and domestic.

His attention was piqued once again when mention was made of Logan and his love interest. Nothing was more interesting to Jett Stetson than Jett Stetson.

He was pleased to find that, judging from the storyboard for Logan’s arc, he and his partner had the most screentime. There was no doubt that their characters were star-crossed lovers: their individual dreams made no room for the other person in their lives despite fighting for each other with everything they’ve got.

“Logan’s ending is bittersweet,” Choi said, “and only Logan remembers the L.A. timeline. They don’t end up together. They both end up achieving their dreams, and Logan is the only one who knows what he had to give up for that to happen. So, I want to retain the browns and maroons for Logan, but his love interest will be dressed in black, white, and gold.” It was compelling and heartbreaking in equal measure. Not because they were a queer couple either, just simply because they were people with ambitions. Jett liked that.

The initial shock he had at finding out he was working with the band was replaced with a strong, good feeling in his gut. He spared a glance at his new acting partner, only to find that Logan was already looking at him. Despite the rosy blush that crawled up his cheeks, he didn’t look away. Logan gave him a nervous grin, like he was bracing for something. Self-assured, Jeff smiled back.

Logan ignored Kelly’s smirk as the band lead Jo and Jett to the recording studio, where the unpolished tracks of their latest album resided.

Kendall has taken some of the reigns in the production process at this point. Everyone, especially Gustavo, welcomed the change in their sound since he’d become more involved. Although the album release was taking longer than usual, it felt as if they were holding on to something that was well worth the anticipation.

“You didn’t think I’d let you pair up with someone who wasn’t your type, did you?” The flutter in his chest returned at the memory of Jett’s smile.

Logan groaned in despair. “You know I get stupid around cute guys,” he hissed.

Kelly rolled her eyes. “You’re also not that great an actor. If no one is sold on you actually being attracted to men, people will just write you off as straight in their heads. It’s what they’re doing right now.”

“Girls could kiss other girls and still be called friends. People will think whatever they want. I just don’t understand why I have to prove my sexuality to anyone.”

“Look, I’m not saying you should, or that kissing Jett on camera will magically rid the world of bi-phobes forever.” Logan snorted at that. “But think of all the little Logans out there with some undeniable truth inside of them that they can’t share yet, who will watch your video and realize that whatever it is, it’s good. And it’s real.

“But I know that you can’t convince anyone of that unless you’re working with someone you might actually like.” Kelly gave him a knowing look he didn’t like at all.

Jett listened to music the way Logan expected him to: eyes closed and still, like a rock unmoved by a flowing river. He was a complete opposite to Jo, who swayed and bobbed her head to the beat. It’s the only time Logan had an opportunity to take in all the little features—his high cheekbones and strong chin, his long lashes and petal-like lips—that made him so beautiful.

Carlos nudged his thigh to snap him out of it, as if he didn’t spend hours video-chatting Alexa just to see her pretty face. His eyes flitted to Kendall instead, who was fidgeting the entire time his girlfriend had her headphones on. “This is just the unplugged version, by the way,” he said nervously once they were outside whatever realm the music took them to. It’s the kind of arrangement the band would usually perform at radio shows or smaller venues: just a bass, a piano, and an acoustic guitar. “The music in the videos won’t be as stripped down.”

“I like it,” Jo said with a smile. “It’s got a vulnerable feel to it. What do you think, Jett?”

Jett’s eyebrows were furrowed, and his lips were pursed in thought. The band often forgot he was capable of that. “It’s not very complex.” James immediately looked affronted. “Not a bad thing. The easier it is to consume, the faster it’ll catch on. What matters is that they’re interesting enough for three music videos, and they are.” Kendall shrugged nonchalantly in acceptance.

“Alright! If that’s all,” Kelly said, “we’ll see you guys next week for the shoot.” She ushered the actors out into the hall, pointedly looking at Logan to follow along with Kendall, who wanted to walk Jo to the elevator.

He and Jett lagged behind Kendall and Jo, who despite having been together for years, seem to be even less sick of each other more than ever. His new acting partner didn’t seem to notice this, however, occupied as he was flipping through the portfolio once again.

“I’m guessing you didn’t know you were gonna be working with me.” God, Logan was so awkward, but it wasn’t like he knew how to be anything else around beautiful people. Additionally, while Jett was someone he felt like he could be himself around, he felt distanced somehow. In the tapestry of their L.A. life, Jett’s threads were stitched closer to Kendall’s and James’ than his were. Although by the end of this project, he doubted they’d be anything less than entangled.

“Not at all. Although, could you blame me? Why name it “Project Debut” if you’re not debuting a new artist?”

Logan supposed he had a point. “I was under the impression the management saw it as a way for me to come out to society as… as-”

“A boy band member who didn’t exclusively serenade girls?” Jett raised his eyebrow. “As they are wont to do.”

“Sure, yeah.”

Silence persisted for the rest of the short walk to the lobby, akin more to a warm blanket than a cloudy sky. Logan considered it an improvement already.

Just as the elevator was approaching their floor, Jett said, “how do you feel about dinner tomorrow night?”

Logan was so stunned, it was a miracle he got anything out of his mouth. “I can pick you up at 7?”

Jo held the elevator open for Jett. “Looking forward to it,” he said, throwing in a wink just before the doors closed.

Kendall gave him a pat on the back as he stood there, unmoving as the metal before him, with his mouth hung open. “Good luck, man.”

“Good luck, indeed,” Jett told Angela when he’d finally gotten the time to tell her exactly what job she booked him for. Another stroke of good luck, she said, and boy, did he believe it. The media had made a fuss over Big Time Rush’s appearance at a local pride parade barely a couple months ago. With Jett now playing Logan’s love interest, their chemistry will be talk of the town for weeks.

Let it be said that chemistry was all Jett was looking for nowadays. Just enough to keep people talking. The last girl he dated for publicity had been an ego boost during their relationship, up until the moment when she tried to make it all about her—how he wasn’t paying much attention to her or complaining about the time he never spent with her. Jett was a man who, above all other kinds, knew most about self-love. A romantic relationship that seemed to get in the way of that wasn’t one that he wanted.

He was in the middle of checking himself out in the mirror when someone knocked on the door of 3H at 7PM on the dot.

Logan was on the other side, in a stylish button-up shirt and a jacket that made him look cooler than he actually was. It suited him. “Did you have somewhere in mind?” Logan asked as he watched Jett lock up.

Somewhere in mind was a 50s style diner with checkerboard floors and bright neon turquoise lights that illuminated Jett’s eyes in the most flattering way. Most people would probably be surprised to find him in a place like this, dining as often as he does in upscale restaurants. But the milkshakes here were absolutely divine. Plus, it brought back memories of a young Jett who danced to old jukebox tunes, hoping to be the next Danny Zuko.

Jett ordered them crisps to start with, while Logan busied himself looking at the menu. He never noticed until then how relaxed the singer seemed to be with just the two of them. Not so odd, despite the tense curve of his shoulders the day before. They’ve pretty much known each other for years at this point. Heck, they’ve fought prank wars on the same side.

It’s the countenance of someone who’s come out, loudly and proudly, Jett realized. Out and proud and supported.

"I sure hope you don’t have a secret boyfriend lying around to get jealous of me. Or you. Really, people ought to be more jealous of you being my fake lover."

That actually made Logan laugh. “No, I don’t have a boyfriend. I wish I did.”

“Good,” Jett nodded. “Shame though if you did and had to keep it hush-hush. If to be loved is to be seen, it makes sense to be seen being in love, right?”

A waitress came by to take their orders—a clubhouse special and strawberry milkshake for Jett and a burger and a cookie crumble milkshake for Logan—as Elvis Presley warbled from the corner jukebox. Their crisps arrived a few minutes later, which prompted an approving hum from the singer as he chewed.

“That’s one way of looking at it. The thing about being seen, I mean,” Logan replied to Jett’s questioning stare. “Although personally, I don’t think every relationship has to be a public affair. Not to say I’d keep it a secret if I went out with someone, especially if it was a guy. It’s just that who I love doesn’t have to be anyone’s business but my own, you know?”

“I doubt you’d be able to keep it to yourself, though. In fact, your friends look like the type to have figured it out before you do.”

There was something in Logan’s eyes as he looked at him that Jett couldn’t decipher. “Probably.”

Their conversation shifted to easy things, like the rumor mill at the Palm Woods and the locations Jett had to film at in his last movie deal. Jett raved about working with a director who let them experiment with a lot of takes and still sticking to the schedule. In turn, Logan went on a tangent about how fun it was now that Kendall was also working on music production. For the span of a meal, Jett felt like he and Logan were actually friends.

Jett had just called for the bill when Logan asked, “not that I didn’t have a good time tonight, but why did you invite me to dinner?”

Jett pursed his lips. Had he been a lesser man, he would’ve shrugged. “You didn’t seem thrilled to have me on board yesterday. Thought I’d show you I’m great company.” He threw in a little smirk at the end, as Jett Stetson does.

Logan fondly rolled his eyes, clearly already charmed. How could he not? “Sorry about that. This whole,” he made a gesture not unlike a soda pop’s reaction after putting a mint in it, “making-a-spectacle-out-of-liking-boys thing is freaking me out. And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, okay, because I genuinely love the fact that everyone close to me has been so supportive.

“I just thought,” Logan sighed. “I don’t know, that maybe when I came out I’d get some semblance of…”

“Peace?” Logan showered him with a look of melancholic surprise, like he hasn’t been understood in a long time. “Yeah.”

The waitress came back to give them their tab, which Logan immediately snatched from the table. When Jett tried to peek from over the leather in his hands, the other boy simply handed the staff his credit card without so much as looking at the total.

Jett squinted at him as the waitress walked away, receipt printed and safe in Logan’s pocket. The other boy shrugged. “Consider it a thank you for inviting me out tonight. You’re not-so-bad company after all.”

The actor scoffed. “I told you, I’m great company. I mean, let’s be real here. I can be intimidatingly handsome.” Logan tried not to laugh, but his dimple made a guest appearance anyway. “It’s the cheekbones and the jawline. But I swear I don’t bite.”

Jett crossed his arms and leaned them against the table. “Unless you want me to,” he said lowly. A flush creeped up the singer’s cheeks as he glared at him. Another point to the classic Jett Stetson charm.

“All bark and no bite. Got it.”

Jett shook his head. “You pay for one meal, and this is how you treat me?” He dramatically slams a—rough estimate of a 20%—tip onto the table as he stands up. “After all I’ve done for you?” There was a quiver in his voice that’s so obviously fake, Logan couldn’t misinterpret it for anything other than a bit.

He put his hands in his jacket pockets and stood up with a grin. “You can pay next time.”

Next time sounded really appealing actually, but Logan didn’t need to know that. Instead, he brushed shoulders with Logan and told him a story about filming in a haunted lighthouse.

By the time he and Logan were in the Palm Woods lobby, Jett had fully mastered his red carpet walk. As if that slow, measured gait of his could somehow lengthen his night with the boy with the dimpled smile. It’s true that the actor always felt good about himself, but on rare occasions, someone comes along to enhance the experience of being Jett Stetson.

As the elevator doors closed him off from a softly smiling Logan Mitchell, Jett realized he was almost sad to see him go.

Next time came, then a few more times until the week of the shoot. It seemed that Jett appreciated his company just as much as Logan enjoyed his, and that thought alone placated his nerves about kissing him on camera. Meanwhile, the butterflies in Logan’s chest have evolved into something like a meteor shower: streaks of something wondrous and light running from his shoulders to his fingertips. He felt calmer than he used to around Jett despite all the tingly sensations.

Logan decided to come early to the studio on his first shoot day, along with James. Fortunately, they shared certain sets, which meant that they had similar schedules for a couple of days.

He almost regretted watching James’ shoot, honestly. Logan, Kendall, and Carlos had always known that their friend was incredibly talented, but watching him perform Director Choi’s vision of insomnia and paranoia was harrowing. As he watched James through the monitor, staring into the camera with upsetting and hateful graffiti on the walls of his side of the hospital set, Logan felt chills roll down his spine.

Just as the production crew called for a short recess, Logan perked up at the sound of a familiar voice.

“James,” Jett called out. “You look terrible! How fortunate.”

Logan found it amusing that they still thought of each other as rivals. He guessed reminding each other that they were still handsome was a good way to stay friends. Although, if anyone thought to ask Logan, he’d say they were attractive in different ways. James had the beauty of lights in the crowd, but Jett had the grace of moving planets and starlight.

James scoffed. “You wish you looked this good! These bags,” he said as he pointed to the dark circles around his eyes, “are sponsored by Gucci.”

Jett seemed about to retort that he was sponsored by Louis Vuitton, except the makeup and wardrobe team robbed him of the chance.

“I don’t understand how you can like that guy." Logan turned to see James glaring at his acting partner. “He’s not so bad,” Logan replied. He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. “Like is a strong word, though.”

For a few moments, Logan felt his friend’s stare searing the nape of his neck as he approached Jett, who winked at him through the mirror when he caught sight of him. There went the meteor showers again: from the base of his neck to the tips of his fingers. When he looked back to where James had been standing, he was gone.

“Have I ever told you how lucky you are to have such a handsome scene partner?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Pretty much every time we see each other. Tell me something I don’t know.”

Jett looked at him for a moment. Then with a soft grin, he said, “you look good as a medical professional.”

Pink bloomed in his cheeks as he looked down at his chocolate brown scrubs, in contrast to the light tan of Jett and James’ hospital gowns. “Thanks. One day, I will be,” he said, confident as ever. The look in Jett’s eyes through the looking glass didn’t seem to doubt that either.

Despite having a clear view of his reflection, James successfully snuck up on Logan, jumping from behind, tackling his shoulders, and completely ruining whatever moment that was. “Everybody needs somebody, so put your body on my body,” the taller boy sang obnoxiously. “Only wanna be your only one.”

Logan was about to throttle him when he realized: “wait, that was good. What song is that?”

James shrugged and smiled cockily. “Don’t know. Just made it up. Amazing, right?” Logan nodded along. “Yeah, man. Why don’t you go and record it over in that corner before you forget it?”

“I will. And I will work on it, until you and I can pass by the studio later.” He patted the smarter boy’s shoulders with finality. By the time Logan could talk to Jett again, the actor seemed disinterested in continuing their previous conversation. Tides came and went with the moon, he reasoned. Logan swallowed his disappointment.

When Choi called the two of them to instruct them of the flow of each sequence, he wasn’t sure he wanted James on set at all, preoccupied with songwriting or otherwise.

The first scene of the first music video took too many takes—and James’ polite: “yeah, nope. I’m leaving. Good luck!”—before they finally moved on. It started with Logan talking to a “loopy” Jett in a makeshift hospital set. Jett had a fake cast on his leg, while Logan faked taking his blood pressure. The boy on the bed called him, “angel,” and Logan called himself, “Logan, actually.” It’s cute and gushy and had Logan not gotten used to being cheeky with the actor in the past week, he would’ve been sick to his stomach with butterflies. Heck, it’s a miracle he hasn’t gone numb with full-body meteor showers.

God, he just had to be a hopeless little bisexual, didn’t he?

The second scene of the music video was thankfully short and uncomplicated: just a few shots of Jett giving Logan a bouquet of flowers reminiscent of sunsets to signify a change in their relationship moving forward. He didn’t have to be anything but coy and smitten, and Jett didn’t have to be anything but gentlemanly and charming. Overall, he was just glad it didn’t take as many tries.

Although Logan was always ready to get everything over with, Jett wasn’t so keen on moving on so quickly. He’d always ask to watch the playback, and Choi would let him. The director was quite generous with his time too, inquiring if the actor wanted to try something else for the sake of it. Jett had declined every time, but Logan could see his eyes would drift back to the monitor like he wanted to rewind each scene again and again. Nevertheless, they finished all their scenes in the hospital sets—including shots of Logan lip syncing and fake-checking his heartrate on a smart watch—and bid the crew goodbye for the night.

“So, I was thinking,” Jett said.

A sharp, melodic shrill cut through the night air.

“One second,” Logan said apologetically. “Hello?”

“Hey, Logan. Can you come to the studio for a bit? James and Kendall are about to kill each other over some new song James just pitched.” She sounded simultaneously exhausted and like she was going to punch someone in the throat.

The singer looked at Jett, who inspected his hair in the nearest car window. “I don’t know. I just got off the shoot. What about Carlos?”

All of a sudden, muffled yelling came through his phone speakers. “Carlos just burst through the door.”

That can’t be good, Logan thought. He cringed at the thought of whatever chaos he might face when he got to Rocque Records. He’s really got to find some new friends.

“I’m on my way,” he sighed before hanging up. The singer turned to his companion. “You were saying?”

“Well, I was going to offer you the premium experience of getting dinner with me, but that doesn’t seem like the case tonight.”

Logan grinned at that despite the displeasure of having to leave. “I really have to go.” The actor nodded. It was unfair to him how the other boy’s eyes twinkled like starlight under the indigo sky. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. I promise.”

Tomorrow comes as tomorrow does. Jett found himself once again in front of apartment 2J, waiting for something good to happen as he knocks on the door.

It’s the small one that opens the door—the one who dated all the Jennifers. “Oh, man. This is a really bad time.” Carlos sounded stiff and frantic. Clearly, his fight or flight response were still battling it out under that helmet of his.

“Jett!” Logan exclaimed as he emerged from somewhere beyond the doorframe. “Sorry, just give me five minutes.”

“James, I am telling you. Miscellar water is not helping!” Kendall shrieked from the direction of what Jett remembered to be the bathroom.

“Well, maybe you’re just not rubbing it hard enough!” James said defensively.

“With the way it’s going, I might not even have skin left after this!”

“Well, what do you want us to do, Kendall, huh? You’d be pink either way!”

Okay, Jett just had to see what was going on.

The actor confidently brushed past Carlos into the apartment.

“Well, well, well,” Jett said as he came face-to-face with Kendall Knight in swim trunks, standing in the shower and coated head-to-toe in paint. The sight of him vaguely reminded Jett of sashimi. “If it isn’t Pink Floyd.”

“Jett!” Kendall immediately covered himself with the shower curtain. “What is he doing here?”

“I told him five minutes!” Logan replied.

“And where is your mother?”

“Minnesota,” James replied helpfully. “She should be back tomorrow.”

“We don’t have tomorrow!” Carlos screeched. “We’re supposed to be filming today.”

“Why don’t you go and stall for a bit?” Logan advised. “You’ve still got some solo stuff to film, right?”

James perked up. “Yeah! Go and tell them that Kendall’s on his way. He just has to settle an emergency.”

A sharp burst of air left Carlos’ mouth. “Okay. Film solo. Stall. Kendall emergency. Got it.”

Once the small one zoomed out of the apartment, Jett turned his attention back to the matter at hand. The actor surveyed the tint on the blonde’s face and raised an eyebrow.

“What?” Kendall screamed. They all seemed to be doing a lot of that in the past five minutes.

Jett pressed a finger to his lips just to hold the tension a little longer. He was very good at that, just as he was good at not outwardly laughing at California Maki Kendall. “I’m assuming you’ve tried soap.”

Apparently, the boys had already given him different soaps to work with, dishwashing soap included. Alcohol had not done the job, either. Buddha Bob even came by to give him something that might work, but it’d burned him the second it made contact with his skin.

Jett nodded. “I have something that might help,” he offered, because he was generous like that. Then, he turned to Logan. “It’s going to cost you coffee and a slice of cheesecake, though.”

Logan shrugged helplessly. “Done.”

A quick trip to his apartment later, the actor supplied them with a half-liter bottle of a clear substance, some cotton pads, and bath salts.

James inspected the bottle with squinted eyes. “Why do you have so much baby oil?” The look Kendall gave him couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than suspicious, but he seemed desperate enough for a solution to let it go.

“Gets rid of makeup and body paint. Just rub it a bit. Let it set. Wipe it off. Bathe and rinse.”

Things didn’t necessarily go in that order. Logan, ever the genius, suggested that they use the bath salts to scrub the oil after letting it set on the paint. Of course, with their combined wisdom and knowledge, the finished product was something that could be mistaken for Himalayan pink salt and a passably spotless Kendall Knight. Though, there was still a hint of rosiness to him, as if his skin was recovering from a full-body sunburn. Nothing makeup couldn’t fix.

“Okay, I’m off,” Kendall said. “And hey,” he paused, halfway out the door. The tall blonde glanced at Jett. “You did me a solid. Thank you,” he said earnestly.

There must’ve been something in the air of 2J—maybe some dust particles floating around or cobwebs. What else could have Jett choking up in the moment? “Of course, I did. I’m great like that!” He pointed at the Kendall. “Literally never mention this to anyone ever.”

Kendall nodded with a smile and saluted his friends before finally heading out.

Logan cleared his throat. “Now, then. Allow me to change into something more publicly acceptable.” He flinched as he tried to unstick the front of his shirt from his chest. James’ clothes didn’t seem to be any better, obviously having spent the most time in the splash zone during the whole ordeal. “Give me five minutes.”

With a dash up the stairs, Jett and James were left alone by the breakfast bar.

“So,” James said. He already took off his shirt, exposing his torso and shoulders but opted to keep the fabric wrapped around his biceps and chest. “You and Logan seem pretty close lately.”

Jett pursed his lips. “It’s just what happens when you’re expected to smoosh faces with someone on camera.” Alright, so there were some nuances to that statement that the actor had forgone, but that didn’t make it untrue for him and Logan. The chemistry between them had been tangible thus far even when there were no cameras to witness it. Tree falling in a forest and all that jazz.

“Fair, I guess. Did you know about that when they were casting you? I mean, obviously no one knew it was for us. But the whole,” James made a two-handed gesture that looked like he was squishing an imaginary ball, “smooshing faces with another dude thing.”

“They did ask me about it, yes. I told them anything goes.” Jett pouted in lieu of a shrug. “Boy. Girl. Either. Neither. It’s all the same to me, anyways. All that matters is that they love Jett Stetson.” James looked thoughtful as he said this; Jett took pleasure in being listened to.

“I can’t imagine your manager or publicist are ecstatic about that, though.”

“Probably not. Haven’t tried dating a male co-star, so I don’t know how that’ll go down.” Jett leaned with his palms against the countertop. “Doesn’t change the fact that Hollywood loves a cute couple. Make people believe in love so they can better sell the occasional romcom.”

“Point.” James gave him a perplexed look. “This is the most civil conversation we’ve ever had.”

“One of us is shirtless and the other is going out to get cheesecake. It leaves no room for arguments.”

Loud steps down the staircase punctuated their little colloquy. “Sorry, my hair’s a bit of a mess,” Logan said, sweeping locks of it away from his forehead. Jett noticed for the first time just how long he’d let it grow out. He noticed a lot of things about him: his strong jaw and bulging biceps, how his shoulders had filled in since they’d first known each other. Logan was far from the scrawny kid he’d been when Big Time Rush got back from their first tour. Then again, Jett had changed too.

“You look great,” Jett said. “The hair suits you, actually. Don’t worry about it.”

Those dimples of his waved hello. “Thanks.” The singer turned to his roommate. “You gonna be alright?”

“The pool is free real estate, my friend,” was all that James said before grabbing a towel and making his way out the door.

Friends.

Logan mulled upon that word in his head, like tossing a stone between his hands before creating ripples upon ripples on an undisturbed lake.

After the debacle that he and the boys dubbed “The Pink Panther Incident”, it was safe to say that Jett was a loyal friend. He was the kind of friend that knew what to say to de-escalate a tense situation or make someone feel seen and heard. And Jett was just as crazy as the rest of them, except now he made Logan feel crazy too.

The last time Logan felt this way, he tried to harness the wisdom of love science to figure out what was going on with him. This time, it took one moment in a cafe: Jett had been laughing into his cheesecake after Logan said something stupid, and all he could think was, “I really want to kiss you right now.” Guilt pooled in his stomach and chest afterwards, because that is not a friendly thought.

Regardless of whether he wanted to, he’d have to kiss Jett for the music video. Now that he was aware that he wanted it… well. Does that make him a bad person, to want to kiss Jett in a non-professional way?

Would it be so bad if he wanted it to be real?

Logan groaned and rubbed his hands into his face. God, how many times had he let Camille kiss him when she had it figured out and he didn’t? He felt a sudden pang of empathy for her to have stuck with him and his idiocy for so long.

“Hey,” James said softly. “You ready to go?”

Logan lightly slapped his own cheeks before opening his eyes and grabbing his coat. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

This time, the whole band and Jett were scheduled to film in the sitcom set, which was Logan’s personal favorite. It was designed to look domestic and homey—a stark contrast to James’ character’s mental state while simultaneously being Jett and Logan’s on-screen abode. The couch in the middle of it all was well-loved yet soft and comfortable, and the quilt draped on it was warm and weighty. Surrounding it were different paintings and furniture, which changed as well with each scene. Off to the side were different set dressing: grays and taupes for James’ scenes, reds and golds for Logan and Jett’s, and a combination of all the boys’ assigned color palettes. It reminded Logan of nights spent watching hockey on the television in Kendall’s house in Minnesota, and it’s hard to fathom sometimes just how far they’d come.

Kendall and Carlos weren’t due to come until the late afternoon, which meant that Logan kept his fingers crossed the whole day, hoping that they weren’t around to see all the sequences that made him blush just thinking about them. It was bad enough that James kept teasing him about his apparently, very obvious attraction to his scene partner.

“James, I got you a caramel macchiato. Drink it or sink it, I don’t care. Just pay me back. Logan, a white mocha for you.”

James laughed into his cup. “Oh yeah, Logan loves his white mochas. You know, milky white all over but brown on top,” he said while pointing at the chocolate swirl on his whipped cream.

His friend was so lucky there were too many witnesses.

There were only two sequences to film that day, one of which required some coordination with James for seamless editing. Unfortunately, both of them required Logan and Jett to act more like lovers, which meant that yesterday’s epiphany made the events of today very inconvenient.

Jett thankfully seemed oblivious to Logan’s inner turmoil, staring at himself in the mirror as a crew member smoothed out the creases of his hoodie. It looked soft and inviting, covering up the sharp lines of his friend’s shoulders and back. The sleeves of it fell over his palms and bunched around his hips. For as conventionally attractive as Jett was, nothing could change the fact that it didn’t fit him right; Logan has never hated an article of clothing more.

James stood next to him at full height. “Okay, this is just sad.” The taller boy pinched at the excess fabric of his sleeves. “This is a boyfriend hoodie if your boyfriend was Gustavo.” Logan laughed so hard he forgot about being nervous just as his body had forgotten how to breathe. “I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that.”

Jett glared at James through the mirror. “Only because there are too many witnesses.”

By the time they were set to film the dinner date scene—complete with props of empty Chinese takeout containers as they talked about nothing on the couch—Logan was smiling uncontrollably and looked just the amount of smitten he was supposed to. In fact, Logan felt that he did everything right. When Jett was directed to lean in for a kiss, he leaned toward his desire to do so instead of panicking out of reflex. When the prop phone lit up to interrupt the moment, he felt every bit disappointed as he was meant to. When Jett’s eyes gleamed like starlight and looked at Logan like he hung the moon, he kissed him on the cheek unabashedly, exactly the way he’d been tasked. Then, he avoided James’ knowing gaze afterwards and watched Jett as he watched the playback.

Logan thought Jett was at his most interesting when he had his eyes on the monitor. There was something hungry about them, wanting to absorb and consume every detail of their performance.

Those beautiful green eyes looked up at him in question. “Well?” Logan asked.

Jett nodded. “Not bad. We might make an actor of you yet.” Logan rolled his eyes. “Here. Take a look.”

Jett was right. Comparing his performance from a few minutes ago to when they started a few days ago, Logan looked like a natural.

That also meant that Kelly was right, which… okay, whatever. It’s in her name anyway.

Encouraged by the results of his vulnerability, Logan let the turbulence of his current feelings play into every look and gesture in the next scene. It was their final sequence in the L.A. continuity too: Logan waking up in Jett’s lap and kissing his temple goodbye as he left for good. It was for the best that Jett was meant to be asleep in the script. Otherwise, Logan was sure his partner would’ve seen just a little too much truth.

Kendall and Carlos came in just as Jett and Logan finished watching the playback of their last scene. Apparently, keeping one’s fingers crossed did in fact make certain prayers come to fruition.

Logan was barely into his next costume when he heard the repetitive plucking of an almost-tuned guitar. Perched on the armrest of Carlos’ makeup chair was Kendall, whose fingers hovered over the bronze strings of his beloved instrument. Beside them, James hummed the melody of an unwritten song. Jett was off to the side, switching between running his fingers through his hair in the mirror and typing on his phone.

“Are you staying to watch?” Logan asked hopefully as he approached Jett.

“If this is your way of telling me you can’t act without me, Logan, I’m flattered. Unfortunately, there are other people that need me,” Jett replied in a heroic manner.

Logan played along. “Oh, yeah, like who?”

“Jo. And Camille. And a bartender who is going to be very happy with my tips.”

“Well in that case, don’t let me stop you.”

He expected Jett to look in the mirror one last time before leaving for the night. Something in his eyes though left him feeling suspended, like free falling. Meteor showers were trailing Logan’s face as Jett’s eyes roamed its rosy surface before pulling away at last. “I’ll see you soon.”

With a friendly wave to the rest of Big Time Rush, Jett left Logan with the gentle anticipation of their final shoot.

“So are they, you know,” Camille said. “Dating?”

James, Carlos, Kendall, Jo, and Camille were all hanging around the benches at the Palm Woods pool and watching Jett and Logan chat between sips of their pink smoothies. The music video crew promptly kicked everyone out of the lobby as they set up the lighting equipment and cameras.

“Hard to say,” Carlos replied. His fingers stroked his chin in thought. “He’s not straight is he?”

“Nope,” Jo, Camille, and James said simultaneously.

Kendall and Carlos looked at him with twin expressions of 'how could you even know that?' “Hey, I spent the most time with both of them. Jett’s an okay dude when he’s not talking about how pretty he is.”

“Hold on,” Jo said. “How do we even know that they like each other?”

Camille piped up. “Jo, have you seen Logan recently?”

“Logan hasn’t told us anything, but it’s not like he’s ever talked about boys in front of us anyway,” Kendall said. He had a sneaking suspicion that Katie knew things about Logan that they didn’t, but she’s not around to give her verdict of the Jett-Logan situation. “I’m guessing Jett hasn’t said anything to you.”

“Not really. We just know they’ve been hanging out more often,” Camille said without a hint of jealousy. If anything, she’s a lot happier being privy to the things Logan shares now that they’re not romantically involved.

Jo tilted her head. “I don’t think even Jett knows if he likes Logan.”

Kendall stood as a crew member called them to the set. “Well, one thing’s for sure: if he hurts Logan…”

James and Carlos stood as well. “He’s going down,” they said gravely.

Camille shook her head fondly. It’s good to know that some things never changed.

There really wasn’t much for Camille to do in this scene. All she had to do was look pretty and put her arms around Jett when Logan stood to look back at him. Though, it was really tempting not to watch his face as she did so.

She was surprised to find that it only took a few takes to get all the right shots. Logan had always been a terrible actor.

At least, that was what she thought until she joined Jett in watching the playback. Logan’s face flickered through a variety of emotions all centered on longing. From the on-screen moment they brushed shoulders to the way Logan watched Jett walk away, he was the right amount of both wistful and gutted. Camille didn’t even know he was capable of such a thing.

She glanced at her ex-boyfriend and found Logan watching Jett watch the monitor, like a stargazer looking up at the night sky—enamored, longing to be one with that which feels so far away.

Yeah. Logan was still a terrible actor after all.

Logan was just as nervous at the end of their shoot as he was in the beginning of it. With the big kissing scene coming up and the way things were going with his feelings toward Jett, he had every right to be.

They and the crew arrived at the hotel lobby where they were scheduled to film just before sunset. The view of it was beautiful from the driveway: the cream colored walls reflecting the last of orange sunlight; the glossy marbled stairs leading up to large, open doors; the chandelier and flowers and red carpet decorating the space. It felt like the grand end to a remarkable adventure.

Jett’s shots were filmed first: just a few takes in different angles of him pacing around the lobby for someone who might never show up. He was dressed in one of his red carpet suits and looked every bit like the celebrity he was meant to be. Watching him walk around in faux designer clothes was already undoubtedly the highlight of Logan’s day.

Logan was already dolled up and ready to shoot when Choi approached him and Jett, iSlab and stylus in hand. He ran them through the storyboard and script once again, before asking them to run through their lines in their proper marks. It wasn’t until they were properly building up to shooting the scene—going through the choreography indicated in the storyboard sans the actual lip locking—that Logan felt the full force of his nerves.

Their director must’ve noticed it, because he pulled them aside just as the crew signaled their readiness to film with them both. “Now, there is a very specific way I want this scene to turn out,” Choi said lowly, “and I need you to know that it’s going to be intense. Your characters are in a very turbulent state in their relationship. They’re arguing at an awards show, and they could feel themselves losing the other person because their lifestyles made it hard for them to be together. When we were rehearsing earlier, I could see that both of you understood that.

“There is a lot of tension in this scene, sexual or otherwise. There is a lot of passion and rawness here that I need you guys to convey. But I don’t want to make you do anything you don't want to do.” Gratitude lodged itself deep in Logan’s throat for their director, and by extension, Gustavo. Choi continued, “we can stop at any time or take breaks if you need it.”

Jett spoke with a gentle voice. “I’m down for anything. Logan?” An overwhelming mix of guilt and embarrassment coursed through his body. Logan swallowed, unable to speak.

Choi’s eyes softened. “Logan, we can lower the intensity if you want to. But we can’t make this work if you won’t let me know how far you’re willing to go.”

Somehow sensing that the singer needed a moment to pull himself together, Jett said, “can you please give us a minute?” Choi nodded and did as he asked.

“Do you still want to do this? We can adjust if you need us to.” Logan closed his eyes and shook his head. “I want to, I do. I’m just scared.” His eyes fluttered open and sought those of his friend’s. Sick of the darkness of own mind, Logan let the starlight in. “I don’t even know why I’m so scared. It’s not like it’s the first time I’m kissing someone on camera. It’s not even the first time I’m kissing a boy! So why,” Logan choked out. His own voice cut himself off.

“Because telling a good story, especially as an actor, takes some vulnerability,” Jett replied. “And that’s scary.” For a few seconds, Logan thought the taller boy’s hands were going to reach for his own, but they didn’t.

“Look, you still want to do this, and it means a lot to you to get it right, correct?” Logan nodded. “Then, you’re just going to have to do it scared. But you’re not going to do it alone.”

The shorter boy smiled at that, meteor showers warming up his chest. “Okay, when did you become the smart one?”

Jett scoffed. “Logan, I’m a very worldly creature. I’ve traveled around. Sometimes I just know things.” Then the actor did that thing again, where he peruses every inch of Logan’s face. “Are you ready?”

“One last thing,” Logan said. He put one hand on Jett’s chest and the other around his own collarbone where a wired object jutted out from beneath the fabric. One can never be sure that their microphones aren’t on. “You said you don’t bite, unless I want you to,” Logan said lowly. “Right now, I wouldn’t mind if you did.” Something peculiar happened in that moment. Jett’s eyes had gone from starlight to what Logan would compare to a solar eclipse. The other boy’s pupils had dilated significantly, and Logan wasn’t so keen on understanding what that might mean just yet.

Jett muttered an okay before setting off to find Choi.

Showtime, Logan thought as he breathed in deep and followed.

Choi raised his eyebrows at Logan. He jutted his chin out in response. “I’m ready to do anything you need me to.” Their director didn’t smile, but it was a near thing.

Too many takes were cut for reasons ranging from Jett missing the right delivery to Logan walking incorrectly. By the time Choi let the cameras roll indefinitely, Logan felt something ugly building up inside of him. He wondered if Jett felt it too.

“Hey,” Logan said tiredly.

“Hey?” Jett was fuming. “You’re late to my first big award show, and all you have to say is ‘hey’?” Just as it was meant to, Logan felt something inside of him snap.

Logan missed this sometimes: the adrenaline, the fighting, the resolution. Camille had given him that frequently even if hadn’t been good for them as a couple. He always loved the chaos and the crazy and the high that came with it. Obviously, his best friends did too, otherwise their band would be called something else. It also meant that he treasured the quiet more when it came around—the tranquil moments that reminded him that life isn’t always about that big-time rush. With the way things were between them now, Logan often forgot that it hadn’t always been this easy when it came to Jett.

The push and pull nature of the scene inevitably brought them closer together until Jett had Logan pinned against a wall-side table in the lobby, the edge of it digging into the small of his back. Their angry, scathing remarks overlapped in cacophonous bitterness.

“You act like you know everything, but you know nothing about how I feel.” Logan grabbed the collar of Jett’s suit, seemingly undecided if he should pull him closer or push him away. “Oh, shut up!”

Jett’s eyes flashed. “Make me.”

As intended, Logan pulled at Jett’s collar and crashed their lips together. If the force of the kiss didn’t already leave him breathless, the realization that he was kissing Jett would have. All of Logan’s available senses focused only on his partner: the musky scent of his cologne, the tip of his nose that grazed his face, his petal-soft lips against his own, the hands underneath his thighs lifting him up on the nearest available surface. Logan had never been proud of his height, but something about feeling light and small in a strong man’s embrace stirred a whirlwind in his stomach.

True to his promise, Jett bit into the supple flesh of his bottom lip. Logan’s hand drifted to his chin in response, directing the actor to open his mouth so he can suck on his tongue like a child regularly denied its sweets. Had they not been tightly wrapped around each other as they were, Logan was sure he wouldn’t have heard the soft groan that action elicited from his scene partner. The other boy gave as good as he got—tongue exploring Logan’s mouth like a solar flare. His entire body felt hot under his suit. This must be what it’s like, Logan thought vaguely, to be a meteor burning up at the atmosphere.

The cameras kept rolling, and the boy on the ground lead the kiss into softer, gentler territory, though no less passionate. Jett wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist just as Logan wrapped his own around the other boy’s neck. It felt less like a fight and more of a compromise.

The two of them shared a few pecks before Jett moved his lips away, still resting his forehead against Logan’s. There was a tenderness to it that spoke of pain and pleasure, like the plumpness of one’s lips after a bruising kiss. When Logan opened his eyes, Jett was looking at him like he held the whole world in his hands.

“Cut!” The director yelled. “That was really good, guys. Let’s take five.” At this, Jett placed his hands on beside Logan and give him a few more inches of space.

It was then that Logan looked around: at the marble he was perched on, at the linen lampshade in the corner, at the bronze wall light behind Jett. Everything was bathed in sepia tones, like a distant a memory. It was what this moment was going to be, after all this music video business is over. No more starlight. No more meteor showers. Logan felt something in his chest burst into stardust.

The inevitability of falling in love with a friend was something Logan feared and expected with someone like Camille, or maybe even Dak Zevon when they got close. Yet, here he was, caught in the gravity of Jett Stetson.

One would think that Logan was freaking out about this. He was, in a way. However, instead of thoughts such as ‘how can someone even fall this quickly’ and ‘Logan, you dimwit, how could you let this happen’ flitting through his mind in a million different ways, all that existed in his mind was a quiet buzz. What took over in the moment was relief and serenity, like a long, heavy sigh after holding one’s breath for so long. And the truth is that there’s nothing perplexing about this at all: being by Jett’s side made him feel calm and understood. More than anything, Jett made him feel seen in freeing and terrifying ways.

Logan looked away from Jett’s gorgeous jade eyes immediately. One glance at his own, and he’ll figure him out immediately. He wasn’t ready to deal with the consequences of that. Not yet.

He and Jett were directed to make out a couple more times, starting from the moment Logan was lifted up on the table. The song of the music video was playing in the background to help the singer as he mouthed out the words ‘your way’ between kisses over and over again.

While Jett was occupied with watching the playback, Logan took the opportunity to take some deep breaths and pull himself together. He didn’t want to see Jett take in all the details that revealed just how bad Logan had it. A crew member gave him bottled water on his way to the changing area, which he took gratefully. He probably looked as wrung out as he felt.

“And that’s a wrap,” the actor echoed as they walked back to the outdoor parking lot of the hotel. Little puddles around them reflected the city lights, and the smell of rain hung in the air. Jett took a good look at Logan’s face. “Everything okay in that big brain of yours?”

Guilt dropped from his chest to his stomach on one fell swoop upon bearing witness to his friend’s concerned gaze. “Everything’s fine,” Logan lied unconvincingly before getting in the van taking them back to Palm Woods. Wherever they went, the clouds followed and hid the moon and all the stars from Logan’s sight.

Gustavo and Griffin got the last say about the music video. Considering that they weren’t called to reshoot anything, the boys trusted that everything was a go. They did have the option to watch it ahead, but the band left it to be a surprise for them and the rest of the world.

To spread out the album’s promotions and lengthen its presence on the online-content sphere, their marketing team decided that one music video would be released per week, with the behind-the-scenes features and interviews releasing on the same day as the third and last music video.

In the wait for the video series release, Jett went back to doing a heck of a lot of auditions, while Logan got busy with the band’s album promotions. That was what Logan told his friends when they asked why they didn’t see Jett around as much.

It wasn’t that they didn’t hang out at all either. It’s just that Logan opted to be around Jett when other people were around too. There was that day by the pool where the actor was reading a new script while the singer wracked his brain for lyrics to a new love song, inconspicuously glancing at him every now and then for inspiration. Then, there was that day by the ice cream stand by the Palm Woods park when Logan tried very hard not to stare at Jett’s mouth as it devoured his strawberry ice cream cone.

Many nights, Logan laid awake wondering why he couldn’t just put himself out of his misery. Kiss him for real now that he knows what nebulae tasted like. Ask him to dinner and a walk so they can hold hands under the city lights. Go out to parties so Logan can dance with him as the neon lights bathed them in blues and purples and pinks.

Then his heart would clench in reminiscence. It was common knowledge that Jett dated his co-stars and friends for publicity. Logan didn’t want to entertain the idea of asking him out only for his friend to treat his feelings as something for show. It was on these nights that Logan thought about telling someone—the boys or Camille or Katie—before its heavy weight turned his chest into something of a black hole. But he waited another day, and another, and another. They would find out soon enough. Logan was a terrible actor after all.

Katie misses the boys, which she would never admit out loud.

While on her gap year, exploring the country before deciding on what she truly wants to pursue, Katie stays with Lucy on her third album US tour as her merch manager.

Lucy’s third album is the best so far, in Katie’s humble opinion. A lot of it still has that angsty rock vibe typical of her style, but it’s also the album she wrote after things didn’t work out between her and James. It’s the second time a Big Time Rush member got Swifted, but this time in a Back-To-December way. On one of the nights Katie hung around inside her tour bus, Lucy opened up about how James was always so focused on taking care of everyone around him, which she loved about him the most. But sometimes, she felt she’d taken his time away from other things he cared about, or he’d be too busy taking care of other things instead of her.

Katie understood that. No one develops a childhood crush on James Diamond without understanding that.

After she let him go, their friendship hadn’t been the same. Lucy then went on tour, which allowed them some space, and Katie followed.

Now, here they were, hanging out in the backrooms of the latest venue of Lucy’s concert before retiring to the hotel for the night. Katie was pulling up Big Time Rush’s latest music video.

It opens with a meet cute between Jett as a patient on anesthesia and Logan as an ER nurse. Katie couldn’t stop the smirk on her face as her brother’s friend tried to act all cool despite being flustered.

“Is that Logan,” Lucy asks as she watches the screen over Katie’s shoulder. “And Jett?”

“Yup.” The rock princess nodded her approval.

The music video for Waves focuses more on Kendall, the recovering alcoholic who falls for the pink-and-purple-stained girl at an A.A. meeting, and Carlos, the risk-taker who slowly falls into debt. Not much is known about James, aside from the fact that he’s on a sitcom and the line between reality and the world inside his mind blurred as the video went on.

Katie hears a soft oh, wow’ from behind her at this reveal. Out of the corner of her eye, a fond and melancholic smile softens Lucy’s face. She turns back to the screen and hides her own grin. It’s nice to know that someone else misses the boys too.

However, there wasn’t much development on Logan and Jett’s story, which meant that Rocque Records planned to have a sequel. Smart, Katie thinks.

Aside from the sound, it’s apparent that the quality of Big Time Rush’s music videos were developing as well. Each boy had his own distinct color palette, but all unified by brown, earthy tones. Katie is impressed, but not nearly as impressed as she is with whoever was in charge of casting.

Katie sends a text to Logan that reads, “did you ask them to cast him?”

Logan replies. “Kelly did.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re too obvious.”

“Hey, what I told you on that couch was secret!” For a long time, no one but Kendall’s sister knew that Logan had a thing for male brunettes with chiseled features and pretty eyes who starred in New Town High.

“It’s not a secret if your face keeps giving it away.” Katie receives no response, but the read receipt tells her she won this time.

“So,” Lucy says. She brings out a whiteboard filled with names of celebrities coupled up for projects they’ve accumulated throughout the tour. Written on top in blocky letters are the words: “REEL OR REAL?” It’s a speculative game they like to play when they got bored. So far, only Tim Holland and Sundaya are under the “REAL” side. Meanwhile, couples like Vanessa Hudgems and Jack Efron were all on the “REEL” side. They still haven’t decided on Matt Damon and Ben Affleck though, so they stayed in the middle of the board. For now. “Logan and Jett. Reel or real?”

Katie takes the marker from Lucy’s hands. “Definitely real.”

Carlos sits on the couch and deposits his armful of chips on the coffee table. James meanwhile puts down more cans of soda beside it. One would think, with the amount of food and drinks surrounding them that they’re gearing up for a movie marathon. On days like this, it’s like they’re all fifteen again, having sleepovers after spending all day in each other’s pockets at school and hockey practice or staying up ‘til dawn playing video games on the first day of summer.

Kendall pulls up the video titled “Your Way (Official Music Video)” on the screen of their crib’s TV. The countdown was starting any minute now.

“I’m so excited,” Carlos exclaims. Big Time Rush had every right to be. The first music video skyrocketed their popularity in the span of a day, and their success keeps growing. It also spurred more bigotry and hate for the band, way more than their photos at the pride parade did. But most of it was drowned out by the media’s praise for their openness and the loud support of the queer community. It seemed, at least to the colorful minority, that boy bands were truly back and here to stay.

Logan, of course, is decidedly less excited. He regrets not having watched the playback at the hotel lobby. The boys may not know what they’ll find in this video, but neither does he, specifically. James puts his hand on Logan’s bouncing knee. “Stop it. Your nervousness is making me nervous,” James hisses. The worry on his face is instantly replaced by a bright smile. “It’s going to be fine.” Logan simply grabs a throw pillow and proceeds to squeeze it out of any discernable shape.

The music video opens where the last one left off, with James staring into the mirror with frightening shadows and cruel graffiti all around him. Out of everyone in the band, James has the most visually striking scenes as the mental state of his on-screen self goes into further decline. His movements become erratic, the editing more jarring. Although he’s mostly bathed in the colors of ghosts and illness, James remains hauntingly beautiful. It’s in these moments that his friends are once again reminded of their deep-seated belief that James truly belongs in front of the camera.

Meanwhile, conflict arises between Kendall and Carlos as the former finds out his love interest is in debt and the latter is tasked to teach her a lesson about delaying payments after getting wrapped up with some very bad people. As their entwined stories progress, the screen becomes a marriage of spring and summer: mint green gum and copper coins blending with the pinks of sidewalk flowers and purples of fresh bruises. Carlos is bouncing in his seat as their on-screen selves gear up for a fight.

In the midst of all this drama is Jett and his bouquet, once ripe with bright yellow and oranges, now fading like an old photograph. He waits patiently in the hospital hallway, clearly anticipating the moment he can bring his lover home. It becomes increasingly evident on Jett’s face just how unhappy he’s grown, until it’s masked when on-screen Logan comes his way.

Logan thinks it’s fitting that it’s his voice that sings the lyric about overthinking as he watches Jett pace around in the hotel lobby scene. The music cuts out mid verse as their dialogue begins, and it gives him the impression that it was less about making way for drama and more of the tension between them piercing through the normal conventions of music videos. The genius of the group sinks lower and lower into the couch as the scene culminates to his most dreaded moment in the entire series.

What everyone thought was going to be a “little smooch”—as Griffin had called it—ended up turning into something that resembled a passionate love affair. Logan thinks it’s a little unfair that their kiss is punctuated by the music cutting in once again. He doesn’t need to be reminded of it every time he listens to their music.

Carlos is the first to scream when on-screen Jett hoists his friend up on the hotel table and continues to do so from underneath his own palm. Kendall and James meanwhile look like their heads are overheating from beneath the pillows and bags of chips clutched in their hands. Logan just wants the couch cushions to swallow him up like loose change. The minor reprieve any of them get is sourced from the fact that their heated make out session is interspersed with Kendall and Carlos kissing each other’s faces and stomachs with bruised knuckles and denim-clad knees.

It’s a small mercy that while Logan’s lovestruck expression made it into the final cut, Jo’s collapsing on the ground was decided to be the last shot of the video. Then again, Logan doesn’t really know that given that he is currently trying to be one with furniture.

He hears the click of the remote, presumably to turn the TV off.

“Okay,” Carlos says tentatively, “that was kinda hot.”

“Carlos!” Kendall says. “Logan, you wanna come out of there?”

Logan replies. “Didn’t you hear? I’m already out.”

James gently sets aside one of the pillows covering Logan’s face. “What are you even embarrassed about? You did great!” Logan tries even harder to burrow into the cushions. “That’s the problem. I think I did too well.”

“Alright, so?” Kendall asks. He shares a look with James and Carlos. The former sharply tilts his head towards Logan’s form. Just tell him we know, he mouths. Carlos shifts his widened eyes from the blonde to their short friend in support. Kendall looks sympathetically at his childhood friend and hopes it’s the right thing to say. “Logan,” he sighs. “There’s nothing wrong with liking Jett.”

“Yeah. I mean he’s not as pretty as me, but you could do worse.” Kendall smacks James in the shoulder.

“Besides,” Carlos adds. “He’s not even straight. You might have a chance.” It’s sweet in a way that his friends think any problems Logan might have with his own attraction to Jett can be summed up to: 1) is he straight and 2) is he Big-Time-Rush approved. Logan guesses that’s all his problems ought to be had he not tried to reach for the stars.

He slowly sits up, rising from the mound of stuffed objects around him. It was starting to get hot in there anyway. “Look, guys, I-” Logan starts and fails. “It means a lot to me to hear that.”

His friends watch him fiddle with the edge of a pillowcase. “But?”

“It’s just that…I really, really like him.” Logan’s voice sounds pained even to his own ears. “And he dates all of his co-stars, which is fine! He can go out with whoever he wants for whatever reason. But even with Camille… I don’t know. I’ve never felt this way before.

“I just don’t know what to do with myself now,” he ends in a whisper.

“And is doing nothing about it helping you?”

“Not really,” Logan admits. “But if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not get my heart broken so soon.” James pats his back comfortingly.

“Huh,” Carlos ponders out loud. “Double the options also means double the problems, I guess.”

Kendall elbows Carlos softly in the chest, but his bluntness surprises Logan with a laugh. “That sums it up, I suppose.” His smile is small and tentative, but the hint of a dimple made its way to the surface of Logan’s cheek.

There didn’t seem to be any words of comfort Kendall, Carlos, or James could offer their friend, so they did the only thing they knew that helped ninety percent of the time.

“Hey, woah, woah, woah!” Logan screams to anyone who might listen. “Guys, let me go!” Everyone the boys encountered in the hallway and lobby gave them a wide berth.

Carlos is leading the pack while shouting: “Out of the way! Fragile cargo on board.” James and Kendall, supporting Logan’s upper body and lower limbs respectively, threw him in the Palm Woods pool with a swing. The others soon followed, jumping and splashing into the cold water in clothed camaraderie. On days like this, it’s like they’re all sixteen again, playing pranks on each other by the relaxing blue and annoying the heck out of every other resident in the home of the future famous.

Life was never going to be easy for Logan, whether it was coming out as bisexual or studying to be a doctor or leaving Minnesota to chase his dream with his three best friends. Looking at James and Carlos and Kendall though—the best intersection of friends and family a person could hope for—he knows everything was going to be alright.

It’s been days since Jett last talked to Logan, which didn’t really occur to him until he had the odd feeling that something was missing. Come to think of it, they barely hung out just the two of them after the end of Project Debut. It’s almost as if Logan is avoiding him—almost being the operative word, because they both agreed that Jett is great company. He’s funny, charming, talented, and beautiful! It just makes no sense.

When Jett brings this up to Camille, all she does is pat his back and say, “you’ll figure it out. I believe in you.”

He and Jo are currently sitting on her couch and sharing a charcuterie board consisting of nuts, fruits, cheeses, meats, crackers, and a side of honey. They each have about two fingers of sangria left in their wine glasses. Unlike the heathens that reside in other apartments, Jo also knows how to enjoy the finer things in life and thought they should splurge every time a new music video came out that featured them both.

Less than five minutes is left on the countdown when Jett tells her about Logan’s sudden absence the past few weeks. She nods all through his ranting and smiles knowingly at his interaction with Camille. “Not that I particularly love this development between you guys,” Jo says as she picks up her glass. “But what does it matter if Logan’s not around as much? I mean,” she takes a sip of sangria, “it’s not like you guys were close when this whole thing started anyway.” Jett takes a sip of his own drink.

There was a moment after they’d kissed when Logan looked at him like he was the only star in the sky, and when he did, Jett felt like the most important person in the world. Now, he won’t even look at him. It’s as if someone turned off all the spotlights right when the show’s just begun. Jett thinks he deserves better than that.

He doesn’t know how to explain all of that to Jo, though so he says, “can’t I just be concerned that a friend is not getting his daily dose of Jett Stetson?”

She squints at him. “Right.”

If she had anything more to say, Jett wouldn’t know, because Kendall’s face appears on the screen. He lays down a bouquet of wilting pink roses with lavender sprigs on an anonymous grave. The words “Brand New” show up in the midst of a transition to Carlos’ scenes.

The music video showcases each member’s “last act” so to speak—Carlos packs his bags, James graffities an old wall, and Kendall pays his respects to his dead lover—all of which feature an eye-catching bus ticket to nowhere. Logan’s happens to be kissing a sleeping Jett on the temple in a silent goodbye. The actor remembers briefly how good it felt to have those lips against his hairline: warm and comforting, like a small patch of sunlight on a cloudy day.

He’s watched every music video released thus far, every single playback on the monitor during the shoot. Unfailingly, Logan kept that soft, reverent look in his eyes whenever Jett was in the scene with him. Jett was ready to chalk it up to the singer just being a really good actor. Except sometimes, Jett would catch glimpses of it outside the studio when Logan thought he wasn’t looking.

Jo and Jett watch as the four boys, connected by fate, get on an empty bus that crashes inside a dimly lit tunnel.

It’s like Diana all over again, Jett thought as he took a bite of brie.

There’s a match cut of Logan falling into one of the seats, only to wake up in a couch that Jett understands to be the domestic Minnesota set. Unlike the series’ previous visuals, it’s a hodgepodge of color: forest greens sat beside earthy maroons, winter grays wrapped around muted golds. Only Logan remained dressed in a shade of brown.

When the Palm Woods scene comes up, Jett scrutinizes every second of it. Heck, he’d probably watch it frame-by-frame if he knew how. The band walks out into the lobby—Kendall with his arm around a very much alive-and-well Jo Taylor—when Jett passes by and accidentally brushes shoulders with Logan. Momentarily distracted by how good he looked in mustard yellow, the actor finally focuses just enough to recognize the familiarity niggling at the back of his mind at the yearning expression on on-screen Logan’s face. It reminds him of stolen glances over papers by the pool, of a captivated stare out of the corner of his eye while eating by an ice cream stand.

Had Jett been in the habit of thinking more than he ought to, he’d have picked up that something was brewing inside of him. Alas, it has come to this. There’s an answer Jett is looking for, if he only knew the right question to ask.

“Does Logan… like me?” The question is off the mark, but it’s the only thought he can process as of the moment.

“And if he does?” Jo asks.

He looks at her square in the face. “Jo, it’s me we’re talking about here. If Logan’s attracted to me, I should know.”

Jo shrugs. “Well, if you don’t plan on doing anything about it, I guess the answer doesn’t matter, right?” Her phone dings with a message from a contact who is obviously Kendall, despite his nickname revealing nothing of the fact and steals his friend’s focus from their conversation.

Jett pouts. A part of him wants to call out Jo on her being unhelpful right now. But then again, Kendall is practically unhelpful most of the time. Jett thinks they deserve each other.

“Kendall says we should watch the behind-the-scenes video,” she says, already clicking on its thumbnail.

There isn’t much for Jett to chew on. It’s mostly clips of the boys talking about writing lyrics and their production experience. Kendall is featured the most for obvious reasons. Director Choi also gives a few words on the concept, set design, and cinematography while his voiceover runs alongside candid shots of the shoot.

Then, the interview portion comes up, right at the end of the video. James and Kendall sit at the back while Logan and Carlos sit in front of them, the camera seemingly close and personal. A staff member is asking questions from beyond the screen.

“The title track, Another Life, contains the lyric: I don’t wanna wake up and wonder why I didn’t love more, why I didn’t trust more. Speaking of love, what is each member’s love language?”

“Is that like a signature sign of affection?” Carlos asks.

The staff responds. “Sure, or something you do that makes people feel loved.”

James is the first to answer. “Mine is playing wingman.” He winks at the camera. Jett weirdly feels called out by this.

“It’s probably standing up for other people for me,” Kendall says.

Carlos pipes up. “I just get really excited.”

“What about you, Logan,” Kendall asks. James puts his hands on the shorter boy’s shoulders. If Logan is unnerved by the sudden attention, he doesn’t show it. “I’m really bad at fooling the people I care about. I’ve been told my eyes always give away how I’m feeling.”

“We’re also really good at reading each other, so,” Carlos says.

Logan nods. “Yeah, there’s no point in pretending to be what I’m not.”

The staff follows up on that. “Does that translate to people whom you see as more than friends?”

“Definitely,” the smart one replies. “If I genuinely like someone, it’s really hard for me to hide it.”

Okay, Jett is still… puzzled. Befuddled. Extremely confused. It can be counted as an answer to his question, but it also isn’t. Not really.

Jo sends him to the Cheese Butcher to work out this conundrum somewhere else while she’s off on another audition.

Jett met the Cheese Butcher, a bald, six-foot wall of muscle on the second floor of Palm Woods, back when he worked as a stuntman on one of his movies. Despite his gruff exterior, this neighbor of theirs is kind and welcoming. The man had the uncanny ability to not only thinly slice a variety of cheeses, but also precisely cut a chunk off a block to the gram. When the actor had challenged him on this, the Cheese Butcher sliced off a brick of pecorino that weighed exactly sixty-nine grams. Jett traded small favors and souvenirs with him in exchange for sliced cheeses for his charcuterie boards ever since.

Today, the Butcher is slicing cucumbers for a salad as Jett keeps him company. Logan’s words are still ringing in his head, and still Jett is no closer to making sense of it all. He’s got the radio turned on to one of those stations that only plays the newest pop hits of the week on repeat. “Up next,” the host says, “from Big Time Rush’s newest album, this song is called Weekends.”

“I don’t suppose you could change the music to something more… palatable,” Jett says in annoyance. It’s not that he hates his friends’ music; he has no opinion of it most of the time. The chorus of this song, though, makes Jett feel like his chest is running through a cheese grater.

“It’s a good song,” the Butcher defends. He sweeps his cucumbers in a bowl with a flourish before bringing it over to Jett on his dining table. “Something’s bothering you, I can tell. Why don’t you talk a little about it, eh?”

Jett rolls his eyes but concedes. “I used to hang out with a friend of mine a lot. We’ve recently gotten close, you see. We worked together. But,” he pauses, for once unsure of what to say. “Ever since we finished our project, we haven’t hung out as much. And when we do, it’s like he doesn’t want to be alone with me like we used to.” Jett stares at the cucumbers, unseeing. “Actually, I think he likes me. Our friends seem to think so, too.”

The Cheese Butcher nods in understanding. “So you think he’s avoiding you, because he likes you?”

“Avoid is a strong word for someone who’s great company,” Jett mildly objects. “But yeah, it seems like it.”

“And you want him back?” The phrasing is a little off-putting in Jett’s opinion, so he says, “I want him around. The guy could use more Jett Stetson in his life.”

The Cheese Butcher laughs. “I think more time with you is what got him falling in the first place.” The man adds a bit of chili flakes and vinegar to his bowl. “With a handsome face like yours, you’re bound to be a heartbreaker.” Jett raises his eyebrows in agreement. “Probably why he doesn’t wanna see you. Thinks you already know. Boy’s not ready to get his heart split in two.”

“So then what? I’ll just wait for him to get over me? That’ll take forever!”

“Well, that depends.” The Butcher adds a bit of seasoning to his cucumbers, along with some liquids Jett isn’t familiar with, then tosses his salad. “I haven’t heard anything about how you feel about this. I mean,” the man takes a bite of a medallion before adding more vinegar. People have got to stop doing that around Jett. “I can tell you miss him, but that’s pretty much it.”

The young man sits on that for a moment. He hasn’t had been able to find a word to describe it, but he supposes that he does miss Logan—not like how he misses his parents sometimes nor how he craves to dine and drink with Jo and Camille when one of them is off abroad for too long. He misses that giddy feeling he got sometimes, when he and Logan shared the same space and everything around him looked vibrant and lovely. Memories of their time spent together in the past few weeks roll through Jett’s mind like the playback on a monitor.

Is it true, Jett thinks. Do I like Logan Mitchell?

Admittedly, it takes too long for Jett to admit that what he truly wants is this: Logan getting sent out for interviews; Logan being asked about his love life; Logan casually letting the word “boyfriend” or “partner” fall from his lips, and Jett knowing he was talking about him. The worst part about that fantasy is that Jett knows he still wants it, even if no one else knew but them.

Jett wonders if this is what the road to love was designed to be: doing whatever it takes to keep them in your life. It feels incomplete though, because he wasn’t going to do whatever it took to have him if Logan didn’t want to do the same. Maybe love is letting go, but not without a fight?

Whatever love is, Jett isn’t there yet. But he’s getting there. Jett knows he doesn't know much about love, but he knows someone who might be smart enough and patient enough to teach him.

Jett takes his tupperware of newly stocked sliced cheese. “I need to go.” Just as he was heading out the door, he takes one good look at the Cheese Butcher. “Thank you, both for the chat and the cheese.”

The older man laughs fondly. “That’s what I’m here for.”

One assembled cheese platter later, Jett knocks on the door of apartment 2J.

It’s a tall, blonde nuisance who opens it. “Jett! You’re here.”

“I am,” he says. “I’m here to see Logan.”

Kendall’s shoulders droop a little. “He’s still at the studio. We’re recording a single, so.”

Jett tries not to look dejected. “I see. Well, I’ll be off then.”

“Wait!” Kendall shouts. Jett stands still and startled. “You’re welcome to wait for him inside. Have you ever tried adding cheese to instant ramen?”

Jett looks at the platter in his hands, appalled. “You’re a sick, sick man, Kendall. But I admit, you’ve piqued my curiosity.”

Waiting around with Kendall for Logan to come home was time stupidly spent but not all that bad overall. Jett thinks cheese on instant ramen is pretty good despite the sacrilege. However, he is still of the opinion that grilled cheese was the best use of sliced cheddar, especially right before it goes bad. The thought of toast brings back memories of a double-date with Logan, Camille, and Girl Logan. Once again, Jett wonders how he could’ve missed just how good they’d be together.

They will be, soon. Together. Jett Stetson is confident about a lot of things, but most especially about that.

When Logan opens the door to the crib, the first thing he registers is Kendall pulling him inside and then promptly speeding out the door.

The next thing he registers is Jett Stetson sitting on their orange couch. He looks like he belongs there actually, and the sight of it makes his chest ache.

He hears the jiggling of a doorknob behind him. His best friend probably already attached a rig to make sure he can’t pull the door open. It’s the anticipation that wraps around his throat while panic plants his feet firmly to the ground. No one is getting out it seems.

Jett stands and takes a step towards him. “So.”

Logan shifts his weight from foot to foot. “So.”

He takes another step forward. “You like me.” It clearly wasn’t a question.

“I do.” Logan says, nodding. He takes a deep breath. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to date you.” The other boy is momentarily taken aback, but he moves closer still. “And why is that?”

“Because,” Logan mentally browses through all the turmoil of the past few weeks and finds his courage, “everyone you’ve dated has been for publicity. I don’t think I could take going out with you if I knew it wasn’t because you actually liked me back.” There it was, out in the open. Curse Kendall for serving his heartbreak like cheese on a platter.

By this point, the actor is standing right in front of him. The proximity only serves to remind Logan that his heart is lightyears away. Jett hesitantly reaches for his hand. He fixates for a moment at the point of contact, before finally looking at Logan in the eyes. His gaze is intimate and breathtaking, like clandestine meetings under the moonlight. In it, Logan sees a hint of fear and uncertainty he didn’t think possible. Jett might be a professional actor, but the slight tremble in his fingertips makes Logan trust him.

“I have never been more happy to be Jett Stetson than I am with you.” Logan takes a deep breath—the way one does right before a dive. “You’re right. I want to hold your hand in public. I want pictures taken of us smiling at the red carpet. I want to make people green with envy when they see how happy we make each other.” Jett pauses to gently nudge away a lock of hair that’s fallen on his forehead. “But I also want to kiss you in secret,” he says, “and learn things about you that only I’ll get to know.

“All I could think about these past few weeks is how long it’s been since it’s just been you and me. Logan,” he says, adoringly, almost quietly. “I want,” he stops then starts again, “I need you to teach me the best ways to love you. I can’t do that if you won’t give me the chance.”

Logan suddenly feels a deep kinship with Camille, now that he understands what it feels like to want to slap someone you want to kiss so bad. His whole body is arrested by meteor showers. “When did you get so dreamy, what the heck?”

Jett smirks and wiggles his eyebrows. “You like that, don’t you?” Logan rolls his eyes, his face burning up. “I like you. Unfortunately.”

“I don’t know. I would say you’re pretty lucky, considering I like you too.”

Logan smiles, all cheek and dimple, and entwines their fingers. “What made you tell me all of that?”

Jett pouts. “Jo made me watch your behind-the-scenes interviews, and I thought, you know what would make this interesting? If Logan mentioned a boyfriend that just so happened to be me.”

“Fair,” Logan says, as he rests his fist against Jett’s firm stomach. He’s starting to feel lightheaded from all the things he never even dreamed of hearing. “But I could always just call you my boyfriend for the cameras. It doesn’t have to be true.”

The taller boy runs his fingers along the seam of Logan’s jacket. His cologne is different today—cinnamon sweetness mixed with something distinctly Jett. “It almost felt like you were avoiding me,” he mutters. Logan feels a touch of guilt at that. “I couldn’t imagine why. I’m great company after all.” The upward tilt of his lips is charming and slightly pained. Logan wants to taste it. “Plus with the way you looked at me all the time... well. Maybe I do want to be your Mr. Worldwide. I was already playing the part anyways. I mean, isn’t that what they do? Miss you when you’re not around?”

Logan laughs in disbelief. “You want to be the first ever Worldwide boy?” The actor rolls his eyes. “That’s what I said.”

He looks at Jett’s beautiful, jade eyes and thanks his lucky stars for being Logan Mitchell at this moment. “You said you want to kiss me in secret,” Logan says lowly, putting his free hand on Jett’s chest. “Right now, I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

The swoop in his stomach as their lips meet feels a lot like free falling. Logan leans on his tiptoes just a bit and puts his arms around Jett’s neck to pull him closer. The taller boy responds by gently pressing him to his chest with hands on the small of his back. Engulfed in Jett’s scent and warmth, the inside of Logan’s mouth waters a bit as he savors that feeling of smallness he hasn’t become accustomed to yet.

He’s already got his tongue pressed against the actor’s bottom lip when he hears a muffled “James, James, don’t go in there. James!”

“My bladder will risk it all, Kendall,” says James as he walks through the door.

Jett has the courtesy to let him go, although he still keeps his hands resting on Logan’s hips. There’s a quirk to his lips that Logan has never seen before. It makes him look handsome and soft and the only thing stopping him from kissing Jett again is Kendall loudly clearing his throat.

“I take it everything is good here?” Kendall asks. Logan turns towards him. James is nowhere to be seen.

“It seems so.”

Kendall sighs in relief. “Finally.”

James exits the bathroom with the echo of a loud flush. “Ooh, a cheese platter!” He takes a bite of what looks to be gouda before facing his friends. One glance at Logan and Jett’s interlinked fingers—when did that happen—and he says, “Kelly’s going to be insufferable about this, you know that right?”

“Katie, too, probably,” Kendall says, reaching for another slice of orange cheddar. “I bet she already knows.”

“Guys!” Carlos bursts through the door and slams it. “Check this out. People on the internet made this massive thread, speculating about how Logan and Jett are totally dating and,” Carlos pauses. All the others see the exact moment he puts it all together. “The rumors are true.”

Jett raises an eyebrow. “People are going to lose their minds over this, aren’t they?”

“Yup,” the band says in unison.

“I’m almost looking forward to it,” Logan says. He squeezes the hand in his. Jett presses his lips to the back of his hand in return.

Jett doesn’t pretend to know a lot about love, at least in a general sense. After all, not everyone can equate love to being one’s date to the red carpet or lightly pranking paparazzi that won’t leave them alone. Sometimes love is flowers on dinner dates, but most of the time it’s grilled cheese on a bad day. It’s hanging out with his boyfriend’s annoying friends because Logan cares about them and they seem to like Jett enough.

On rare occasions, being in love means ending up in arguments neither of them wants to have, and on those days both Jett and Logan feel lost in the ocean, trying to navigate with only the constellations. They always come out of it stronger, though. And Jett knew that love wasn’t going to be easy, otherwise movies wouldn’t be made about fighting for it.

Being in a relationship is, in a way he didn’t expect, going to a concert while Logan is on tour because Jett misses getting to peruse his face in person. It’s being in a crowd of people who got to scream his lover’s name and being the only person who knew how it felt to whisper it into his ear. Love is, in a way that is uniquely Logan, serenading him on stage in front of thousands and singing about missing him through time zones and long distances.

Even in its most boring moments, dating Logan did numbers on his heart rate—he and his best friends had a way of making even the ordinary exciting after all. Love is still what young Jett knew it to be: cuddles on the couch and smiling for the cameras. Yet love has also somehow become medical books and rollerblades, preppy clothes and hockey sticks, crazy friends and crazier shenanigans. It’s a cute boy from Minnesota who moves to L.A. to become a boy band with his best friends. Love is nothing he ever thought it would be.

But it’s definitely something, he thinks. A jetlagged Jett Stetson knocks on the door of apartment 2J and a smiling, handsome Logan Mitchell welcomes him home.