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Hoshiumi Korai doesn't believe in love.
He have seen scripted longing stares, fake tears, and forced silly love stories it doesn't fool him anymore. No matter how many times his mom says that love will find its way to him, Hoshiumi Korai would rather push it away because it him, love is a curse.
And his parents were the proof of that.
They argue, go on their separate ways, and marry someone else with absorb reasoning Korai would rather them to tell him he was a mistake.
But that's fine.
That's how life have always been to him.
He gets to dream and it will always find itself to crash even before taking a step. If there's one thing that Korai could compare to love, it's volleyball. The sport that lets him free.
But he's not good at it yet during middle school. It was fine. Whatever, he's just starting anyway he has a long way to go but at the end of the day it haunts him how good those kids his age are while his skills are of a newborn.
It was fine.
Korai knew hard work anyway. So work he did. He trained day and night despite the nagging of his mother to take a break and the ways his brother would try to pull him down and demean him. Korai knew it would all pay off once the time has come, he just need to work hard and hone that talent of his that he just discovered while playing alone.
He was fine with being alone, content even. It has always been that way, it's not going to suddenly change. People don't like his attitude because he's loud and really intense and people also sometimes doesn't conceal their distaste for the fact that Hoshiumi Korai is a child of an affair.
It was fine.
He was fine.
Until he wasn't.
Korai doesn't know how it happened, it just happened. He never made any friends in middle school and he just couldn't careless, those people were irrelevant anyway. If people don't like him then so be it, Korai doesn't care about people too much to consider impressing the crowd.
Until he was the crowd.
Hoshiumi Korai met his first love during first year of middle school at 12, on the volleyball club tryouts.
Now, he knew he was shorter than his peers. He's seen cliche romantic movies and k-dramas with the same exact couple tropes and story plot and he's heard the girls from his class talk about height difference between a couple and how romantic it seems it turns their ears and cheeks red, girls squealing like bunch of pigs. He also acknowledge the fact that he cannot provide the height difference these girls are looking for.
Korai also didn't question his sexuality, he knew thought he was straight. He was attracted to other girls at his class during grade school but nothing come close to what he thought love was. Sure, he had a few crushes with those conventionally attractive girls and stare at those posters with girls on bikinis not long enough to be a creep but long enough to appreciate them. He almost got into a relationship one time at sixth grade because he really liked this one girl at a class higher than his, but life said he's not ready for that and gave the girl to another boy who's at the same class as the girl. Korai would be lying if wasn't a bit insecure by the boy's appearance, the perfect height, perfect hair, and pretty annoying face. God, I wanted that!
So no, Korai never questioned his sexuality and never thought of the possibility that he might be swinging the other way if not both.
But that was until he met Hirugami Sachiro.
He was a man with few words, see Korai is socially awkward himself but he can also spot other socially awkward kids and this kid is one of those.
During the tryouts, Korai did the basics, fill out the application form and prepare for a 3-on-3 match. He ended up teaming up with a third year and another first year like himself. The volleyball club assumed he was a libero but Korai knew deep in his heart that wing spiker is his true calling (can't receive for shit).
His team went against team E, a team with a second year on it and two other first years one is named Hirugami Sachiro.
Korai knew where his skills lie, sure his receiving is not top-tier and slightly below average but he can set decently somehow but fucks it up most of the time and he can spike from above the net but not above the block and his aim needs a bit lot of work. He can't however block with the same height of his spike in which Korai continues to curses the bitter pill of height advantages.
Most of that happened during the match, by the way.
A rally was really memorable to Korai though. The rally with scores 12 - 7, Korai's team trying to catch up. The second year from team E serves the ball with a normal serve that he had to trouble receiving for their third year no. #5 to set for him. Korai flew into the air high above the net but Hirugami met him there.
Eye to eye.
To say that Korai was mezmerized, would be an understatement. He was star-struck.
Korai forgot to breath.
And also forgot to hit the ball, other player on the team playing as refere whistled signaling another win for team E. Once he realized his mistake he quickly exclaimed a loud sprout of apologies in embarrassment in which #5 waved a "don't mind." Korai only nodded and hoped that Hirugami didn't realize what caused him to forgot hitting the ball.
Later that night, Korai didn't dwell too much in the results. He knew he still sucks at the sport and have an awfully long way to go, he joined a big team, it was even considered a powerhouse. Thus, Korai knew those results were to be expected, there's so many talented players on the team why would they have a spot for a beginner trying to find its place in volleyball?
Not getting a regular spot on his first year of middle school is okay. He just need to work harder.
However, what's impressing is that Hirugami Sachiro earned a regular spot on the team as a middle blocker during his FIRST YEAR OF MIDDLE SCHOOL.
Korai was stuck being amazed or jealous. Korai blames it entirely in height privileges and a volleyball family that he doesn't have.
At first, Korai didn't knew what it was before he called it love.
He was just amazed by Hirugami, he was jealous of his natural raw talent. Watching from the sidelines as a ball boy gives him more time to check out analyze Hirugami. He's a great player in general, the perfect one, no wonder the guy stole the middle blocker spot from a soon-to-be-high schooler kid. He plays precisely and perfectly, knowing exactly where to block, receive, and spike, sometimes set with a few exceptions here and there but everything else is perfect.
Why's this guy perfect?
Korai thought of that with built-up frustration and pure jealousy, face contorted in envy.
Later at an official match, the middle school Interhigh Preliminary Finals. Korai stood with the Yurisei Middle School cheering squad holding pastel pink and white plastic cylinders and bottles with the cheerdance squad on the sides with their pompoms and usual bright pink and dark navy blue uniform with white accent and a printed YURISEI on the front. Today, they're going against an equally Strong team and Korai found himself staring at Hirugami way too much that the guy turned his gaze to his direction he started averting his eyes to the other red-white team.
The match has started and it's already going well, the ball is going back and forth, both teams are stubborn to let the ball drop but it finally dropped outside Yurisei's court as their ace got a block out. Yurisei took the first set and now, Yurisei volleyball team is facing the opponent and their own cheering squad above their adversaries head. The match went on after a quick break.
Hoshiumi Korai doesn't believe in love.
Hoshiumi Korai never even once questioned his sexuality for he know he swings the "right" way.
Hoshiumi Korai was fine with being alone because it always has been that way and it's not gonna change.
However, Hoshiumi Korai found himself not caring if this guy will ruin his life for him.
Hoshiumi Korai found himself with red ear tips like some romance main character and he pinches himself to prevent himself to let out any kind of noise like the fangirls from behind him.
(child of affair and a homosexual? What a combo of great disappointment.)
He was fine.
Until he wasn't.
Hoshiumi Korai forgot how to breathe once again as Hirugami Sachiro stare into his soul after successfully blocking the ace of the opposing team.
Why's this guy perfect?
Hoshiumi Korai thought without the built-up frustration and pure jealousy, his face shows no hints of envy.
Instead, Hoshiumi Korai thought while eyes pierce into the middle blocker's back. His eyes sparkles with interest, his mouth agape as he lets out a shaky breathe. Is this my gay awakening?
Hoshiumi thought with the outmost admiration and fondness, feeling the butterflies in his stomach.
I need to be better if I wanted to with this guy.
And he pushed himself to be better.
Fate wasn't so evil with him anyway and found a way to connect them both.
They're second years now and a little better (korai finds it unfair how already-perfect Hirugami became even more perfect). Korai doesn't fuck up his receives anymore but it still needs work if he wants a spot for himself, he's been watching spiking tutorials for vertically challenged players, adding as no.2 in Korai's list of "Guys I'd go Gay For" (hirugami is no.1) is an American Gold Olympic Medalist and wing spiker Nathan Warrens who stood at 172 centimeters tall. Korai learned a lot from his tutorials specially with serves, but he needs improvement if he wants to be, at least, a pinch server.
Practice was done and Korai was helping everyone else finish up, he didn't do much aside from performing passing drills and transitions, and counting scores. He decided to call it a day as he yawns when not a lot are looking, he stayed up last night watching Nathab Warrens spike serve videos and Deep Analysis of Mid-air battles youtube vidoes.
As usual he walked the path home alone. It's a common occurrence, he doesn't get affected anymore.
It does gets a little interesting when someone you've look up to stumbles upon your way. At times, unexpected things happen in the most unexpected way.
A single thought was going on Korai's head as he watched Hirugami push and drag his knuckles against the hard wall leaving bloodstain on the way.
What the hell is he thinking?
Driven by emotion, Korai impulsively pulled Hirugami's bag stopping him from his tracks.
"What the heck are you doing?!" Korai shrieked as the other guy turned to him in surprise.
"Nothing..." Hirugami weakly muttered, trying to cover his bruised knuckles.
"Bullshit! Whatever you're thinking is not worth hurting yourself!" Korai loudly exclaimed, thankfully there was no one else but them.
Hirugami tried to brush it off. "Ah, it really is. Just didn't think I did well today."
But you did good, you were great even. Korai would rather lick the floor than to mutter it out loud.
"But you were perfect." It accidentally passed his lips and Korai was too late to realize his mistake as the other man look at him surprised.
"I MEAN LIKE— YOU DID GREAT OR WHATEVER! BUT WHY MUST YOU HURT YOURSELF OVER THAT!" Korai panicked and tried to come up as many excuses as possible that some of it started losing its sense.
Korai blushed furiously as he saw how Hirugami looked at him.
Hirugami looked at him like how his classmates we look to this really pretty girl that would pass by their room. Hirugami looked at him, eyes wide with phantom sparks.
He knew his cheeks are heating up and his ears are probably as red as the blood on Hirugami's hands so quickly covered it with something akin to anger.
Since anger is all he's ever known.
The taller man looked away from him and stared at his blooded hands. He lets out an audible sigh as Korai waited.
"Well it's not just that actually." Hirugami said with a light chuckle that caused Korai's heart to clench and imaginary butterflies swooning over around Hirugami that just makes the scene in Korai's head a little too good.
"I don't... really like volleyball that much." Hirugami stated softly.
It took a moment for Korai to process what the guy just said. His voice can lull be to sleep— No I cannot be distracted!
He's a good player, though.
"Okay? Then why don't you just... quit?" He says bluntly as he hands over a clean handkerchief. Korai never really had a control over his choice of words.
Maybe it wasn't the right thing to say? Because Hirugami staring at him stunned for god knows how long Korai's started thinking he might've offended him which would be bad for their very first interaction outside volleyball practice. However, it is the only thing that comes to mind. Korai knew that volleyball is not for everyone, even the greatest players can get tired and sick of playing. After all, applying too much pressure will break the pencil.
"It's not like you'll die if you don't play volleyball. And that tall, strong, and super tough body you've built is not going to evaporate overnight." Korai tries to explain in the worst way possible. I just outed myself there but whatever.
"Maybe you just had your fill of volleyball for now, given how much you've been gobbling it up."
Because volleyball is not going to cause the end of the world, friends you've made and the great body you've built over months and a year of practice is not going to suddenly vanish out of the blue.
That's what Korai is trying to say but somehow he can't utter a single word as Hirugami's stare froze him the spot like he's looking at him with astonishment written on his face. Korai tries to find the right words but it got stuck on his throat that by the time Hirugami returned his handkerchief with bloodstain.
"Yeah..." Hirugami nodded to himself. He turned to Korai whose head turned to the blue skies turning orange.
"You need to remind me again that volleyball is fun." Hirugami stares pierce his soul as well as his smile. It's not the perfect-practiced smile but rather a smile soft with tiny dimples showing.
Might as well just end my life, man.
"... Do you want some bandage for those hands?" Korai lamely offered.
It's a good thing that Hirugami just lightly chuckled at him and patted his back. "Sure, it's starting to sting now that I think of it."
As he guided Hirugami the walk back home, they talked about the practice match they just had with Yako Middle school and their most outstanding players being twins that Korai forgot the names and couldn't tell which one was the setter and which one was the spiker. A good thing that his mom and other people he lives with are out the house.
Hirugami turned to Sachiro-kun over the years. Sachiro learned to know Hoshiumi Korai but he didn't pry on his personal business nor does he judge Korai's complicated family. Sachiro went to the same highschool as his after middle school and after going all through that, Hoshiumi Korai recognized love.
Hoshiumi Korai knew he had his first love at middle school, his name was Hirugami Sachiro.
Hoshiumi Korai who curses love fell in love with a talented strong muscle-man Hirugami Sachiro for more than his volleyball skill.
And it was fine.
It was fine even when Sachiro asked for help how to court the smart girl in their class, completely brushing over Korai's bruised heart.
At that moment, Korai's world completely stopped.
He never considered the fact that Sachiro might not be attracted to men. He faced the reality with a broken heart that Sachiro, like how he was before, has his eyes for those pretty girls around school, some taller than him or the same height. It also doesn't help that Sachiro is really popular among the girls aside from his name, he grew his hair and even Korai drools the way his lucious brown hair perfectly frame his face. Sachiro has always been that soft and comfy guy, he suppose. THAT'S NOT THE POINT, ANYWAY!
It was fine even if Sachiro got his first girlfriend during the last year of middle school and he discovered that Sachiro never like him the way he do even though he accepts everything odd about Hoshiumi Korai including his sexuality.
It was fine.
First love is always a puppy love, right? Korai didn't need to cry over him for too long in his bedroom while blasting Paramore on speaker and his brother yelling from the other room to TURN IT THE FUCK OFF because he's apparently studying for some big exam, but Korai cried a river.
Whatever, love's stupid anyway.
First love— or first puppy love and first heartbreak goes to Sachiro Hirugami, the most perfect man he's ever met.