Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tenguu Island was on the verge of celebration. 

Olympia of White had been spotted spending time with a man of good, acceptable color and an untarnished reputation. The rumors of her being a heartless, soulless doll and the more sinister ones, that she was a witch with the intention to curse the island, vanished. The tense, impatient atmosphere that had grown as Byakuya had directed her attention to other things than her husband search, was now gone. 

When Tsukuyomi went on his walks when he needed to escape the silence of Naraku, he caught excited murmurs of a possible wedding from passersby. What would Olympia of White wear at her wedding? Would she drape herself with the color of her fiancé? Or would she honor the White women and wear silk gowns from Tennyo Island?

The island was hopeful for the future. The White lineage would be preserved. There would be more dancers after her to keep the sun in the sky.

Yet Tsukuyomi could not join the celebration.

The restlessness inside him kept him unable to concentrate on anything. He could not sit down and resume his work on the prosthesis his customer was eagerly waiting for. Not even painting calmed his mind.

After his last attempt to distract himself with the mandala, he had given up and left the brushes still dripping in front of the paint cups and headed to the beach. He had pushed his craft to the sea and started rowing to Tennyo Island, the silhouette of Tenguu Island getting smaller with each stroke of his oars. The sun was still well above the horizon and the sea was calm. There was enough time for him to visit Tennyo Island and return before dusk. 

Tsukuyomi let his mind wander as he repeated the movements that had been etched on his body during the centuries he had rowed between the islands. A few days ago he had tried slipping from Naraku without being seen by Yosuga or Camelia. With a slight frown on Yosuga’s face, he had caught Tsukuyomi and inquired about Byakuya.

“She does come to collect the letters, but she doesn’t seem as enthusiastic about it as before. I’m a little worried.” Yosuga scratched his neck. “Do you know anything about it?”

“She must have a lot on her mind. This is a crucial time in her life, after all.” Yosuga’s eyes narrowed. But he did not question him further, he never did. 

A chilliness brushed Tsukuyomi, even though rowing and the sun had warmed his muscles. What if Byakuya had tried, but… she wouldn't take that man’s color? It is just her nerves, Tsukuyomi told himself, like he had done a million times. She would take his color. She would have protection against Amaterasu. She would continue her letter service and her projects in Tennyo Island. With her husband.

Tsukuyomi gripped the oars hard. Only when the pain became unbearable, did he let go. After opening and closing his palms, he resumed rowing. The pain had helped him a little to focus on the present. 

If the situation had not involved Byakuya, he would have laughed at his foolish heart.

Tsukuyomi pulled the ferry to the beach, making sure it was out of reach from the waves. He looked around. The beach was empty, save some animal trails on the sand, seaweed, and a few birds pecking at the ground near the edge of the forest. No footprints on the sand. He let out a heavy sigh.

Birds took flight as he walked to the path at the edge of the forest and disappeared into the thick woods. It is too quiet, he thought as he walked along the path. He could hear only the chirping and rustling of birds and sounds of insects. If Byakuya had been here with him, she would have been skipping in front of him, chatting happily about whatever was going on in her life.

Rows of wooden houses, once habited by the White women, looked the same as the last time he had seen them. The overgrown hay surrounding the houses made it clear no one had lived there a decade. Only one house looked cared for. Tsukuyomi made his way to it. Furrowing his brow, he studied the yard. Ever since finding out this house was the one where she and her mother had lived, Byakuya had begun to take care of the yard. But now bushes of weed grew so long around a small lychee tree plant you could hardly see it. Had Byakuya not been uprooting them?

“Dear child, what are you doing?” 

“What does it look like? I’m uprooting the weeds.”  She looked like a hustling mother with her newborn. “I cannot have them near my lychee tree.” The way she glared at them like they were mocking her efforts made the corner of his mouth quirk up.

“Why did you wish to grow a lychee tree here, anyway? There are plenty of them not far away from here.”

“Yes, but don’t you think it’s convenient having one so near? When it bears fruits, you can have them for breakfast. And when it’s grown enough, it can provide cover from the sun. Just imagine, you can lie down after lunch and have a nap!”

“Hmm….” 

“When the lychee has borne its fruits for the first time, I will let you be the first one to taste them,” Byakuya said. 

“Me?”

“Yes, you. Who else would eat them with me?”

Tsukuyomi shook his head. “A lychee tree takes at least a few years to bear fruit. I hope that in time you will have found your husband to share them with.”

Her eyes drifted to the ground, the curtain of her hair hiding her face. She gave a forced laugh. “Yes, you’re absolutely right. I… I just forgot. Good thing you reminded me. I”—she glanced at the plant—“must do a better job at finding my husband. After all, that’s my role.” Her shoulders slumped as she rose and turned her back to him, but she fidgeted as if she couldn’t make up her mind if she was going to walk away or stay.

He watched her slouching confused. Was she that depressed because she hadn’t found her husband yet? Or because she felt guilty?

“Do you keep spare spades here?”

She glanced at him around her shoulder.

“If you want to get rid of the weeds, you need to uproot their roots too, and that is impossible to do with just your bare hands. You still need to uproot them regularly, but if you are consistent in doing it, they should disappear over time.”

She immediately straightened, and her face lightened. Her long hair twirled in the air as she turned and disappeared to one of the houses. After some rumbling noises, she returned beaming, two spades, and gloves on her hand. She was back to being herself, humming and chatting with him while they worked.  

Crouching on the ground with the sun burning on the back was uncomfortable, to say the least. If Tsukuyomi was back in Naraku, he could have painted in peace a teacup beside him. Despite that, he would have not changed places in a million years.

He crouched and reached his hand to the weeds, then stopped. What am I doing? He stood up.

He strode briskly away from the weeds. Time to visit the spring. 

Something white lay on the trail that branched deeper into the woods. He stepped closer to it, tilting his head. It was Byakuya’s bag, the one where she kept the letters and all her other essentials. It looked eerily out of place, like an abandoned child when it should have been hanging on its owner’s shoulder. She took good care of it, always putting it in a clean place if she took it off. Why was it here?

Everything was blurry. The bag, path, and the trees all meshed up together.

Byakuya. She was in danger. 

Tsukuyomi rushed along the path, bushes, and trees going by in a blur. The meadow cleared in front of him, flowers blooming, the spring, and at the edge of it, someone stood there, a girl with long, white hair, her back to him. Her hands rested at her side, something small in her other hand, glimmering. 

He was next to her as he grabbed her hand and yanked the cursed thing away from her. It flew far away —although no distance would ever be great enough—and ended on the moss.

Her mouth hung open as she gawked at him. He panted, trying desperately to get oxygen into his lungs. She was so close to… If I was here a second late then… 

“What… Wh- why are you here?” Byakuya’s voice trembled. 

“...You are asking me that…?” Her body flinched, and he realized he had gripped her wrist too hard. He immediately let go. She massaged it while looking at him with wide, shocked eyes. 

He forced himself to take a deep breath and tried to keep his voice steady. “....Why? Why would you… Such a foolish thing…?”   

She hugged herself as if she was trying to protect herself and lowered her head. “I… I’m sorry…”

His stomach lurched. She looked so helpless, trembling like some wounded animal. Her eyes were red and puffy, either from crying or from not getting enough sleep. His face tingled, and he raised his hand to cover it. How childish of him. He had let his emotions get the better of him. What right did he have to burn her with his frustration, sadness, and fear? None.  

“Tsukuyomi…?”

“Forgive me. I should not… talk to you like that,” he put his hand down and tried to smile reassuringly. From the way her expression grew more worried, some of his true feelings must have slipped through the cracks of his smile. 

Behind her, a horde of tokyo-mushi danced above the spring. In other circumstances, it would have been a bewitching sight. With her long, white hair and skin, it was almost as though she was a holy maiden who had descended from the heavens. But she had not. She was a human girl who had been through too much and had been given a heavy burden to bear. And he had left her all alone. 

Tsukuyomi turned his back and strode toward the place where had thrown the mirror. More tokyo-mushi took flight as he searched the ground. It did not take long to find the mirror resting among the irohana flowers, as if they were protecting it. He took the mirror in his hand. A half of a round mirror, a bit like a half moon. To anyone who did not know its origin, it was just an ordinary piece of a mirror with few cracks on it. He scooped it into his sleeve. Her face was blank when he returned to her and stretched his hand.

“Let us go somewhere else. It is not good for you to be so close to the spring.”

Her eyes darted between his hand and his face. For a moment, he was sure she was going to refuse. In the end, she placed her hand to his own. They left the spring, her hand limp.

The trip back to the houses seemed to last longer than it was supposed to be. The strained silence unnerved him. With Byakuya, quiet moments were usually far and between. When they had reached the end of the path, Tsukuyomi lifted her bag from the ground. She took it from him and put it on her shoulder, not meeting his eye.

The best place to go would be her old house, where they had kept breaks from the sun and stored their tools. He indicated for her to go inside and followed after her. She slumped to her usual place next to the fireplace and leaned against the wall. The place looked clean enough, although some dust had settled on the shelves. Tsukuyomi lifted the lid of the clay water container by the door. It was empty. So much for his idea of boiling tea and having something to do with his hands. 

He settled on the floor, near the door, a respectable distance from Byakuya. “How did you get the mirror? Did Hiruko give it to you?” Tsukuyomi asked. He was so eager to meet Amaterasu, after all. Perhaps even more eager than me in the last decades.

“I… I don’t remember.” Byakuya’s voice was small and unsure. “I remember I fell asleep. I guess she… was in my dream… I went to Kakuronimiya and rowed here…” Her voice drifted away.

“Maybe Amaterasu put some kind of spell on you in your sleep.” The thought made Tsukuyomi feel slightly better. It was a more comforting option rather than Byakuya choosing to sacrifice herself of her own volition entirely. “I take it you did not take his color?”

She shook her head. “I thought… I could love him.” She gave a hollow laugh. “It was no good. I didn’t love him enough.” 

There was no need to question her further. He did not wish to know anything else. 

He studied her under his sleeve. She stared at the fireplace intently, as if there was a fire burning instead of just a three-legged stand with an empty pot. What could he do for her? Asking more about what just happened would only pain her. But what else to talk about?

In the end, he decided to say the first thing that came to his mind. “You have not been uprooting the weeds, have you not?”

“What?” Startled, Byakuya awakened from her daze.

“The weeds. They grow again. I believe you have lost the battle to them for now. It will take at least another few months to get rid of them.”

She blinked. “Oh.” 

“Have you been visiting Tennyo Island at all?”

She gawked at him like she did not understand the question. “Well… Not really.”

“Why not?” He turned to face her, relieved she was engaging in conservation.

Byakuya fidgeted with the sleeves of her jacket, as he waited for her answer. Patient, he needed to be patient. “It’s… it’s just so boring here. Without you, I mean. It… it doesn’t feel the same.” 

Her words were unexpected, so he was startled at first. But then something warm and wonderful spread in his body, making him chuckle. “What a coincidence.” Byakuya tilted her head at him. “I was thinking the same thing. This island feels so lonely without you.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He nodded, still smiling. ”I do not think I ever told you, but… I do not remember a time I have enjoyed myself so much as with you on this island.” 

Her eyes grew wide before she hastily turned her gaze away. She brought her knees together. “Me… me too,” she said quietly. “I wish…” She gulped her words and blinked rapidly, then buried her face to her knees. Tsukuyomi closed the distance between them with a few strides and crouched next to her. His hand hovered in the air for a moment before he placed it on her back. Her back tensed, just enough for him to feel it.

“...What is it that you wish for?” He asked silently, rubbing her back. Her muscles relaxed under his touch. 

She raised her head to look at him with blinking eyes. “It’s… so stupid, but I“—she gave a shaky smile—”wanted to share the lychee fruits with you. Just you. Not anyone else. Stupid, right?”

“No, it is not,” he said quietly. “I wish—”

When her body slammed into his own, he yelped and took support from the floor to prevent them from falling to the floor. When he had regained his balance, he pulled her tightly into his embrace. A wave of relief and joy overwhelmed him, while she sobbed to his shoulder. He had not lost her. Byakuya was truly here. She could still talk, laugh, and cry. 

He buried his face in her hair. “I am so, so glad you are here.”

“Me… me too,” she laughed weakly among her sniffs.

They held each other for a long time. Neither of them loosened their grasp as if they were afraid they would be separated the moment even a small space would come between them. Tsukuyomi only loosened his grip on her, when she fetched a small cloth from her bag and cleaned her face with it. She settled back into his arms as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Her lips quirked up as he stroked her hair.

“What is so amusing?”

“It’s just so warm and cozy here. It’s like you’re a blanket.”

Not that he looked at her, he noticed that buried under his long sleeves, only her head and shoulders were visible. She looked like a nestling small bird. 

“Shall I sing you a lullaby, then?”

“Sounds perfect. Please do so,” she giggled and closed her eyes. 

He raised an eyebrow. “You wish to hear me sing?”

“You’re the one who suggested it,” she snorted. “Don’t go back to your words now. I want to know if you are as good a singer as you are a painter.”

He really had to sing?

“Well?” She smirked. “Let’s hear it!” 

Resigned, he shook his head and chuckled. He began to sing the song he had known since his childhood when he was still living in the First World as a god, naive and clueless. When the last chords trailed off, she looked at him with awe. “Tsukuyomi, that… that was so beautiful!” she clapped her hands. ”I had no idea you could sing so well!” 

“It is nothing special. Anyone can sing to this level if they practice.”

“But not anyone has such a soothing voice… Why haven’t you sung to me before?” She pouted, looking a little indignant.

”I have sung to you. You must have forgotten about it.”

“Really? I don’t remember anything like that…”

He had sung to comfort her when she had been nothing but a frail child. That night, she cried for her father and fell asleep in his arms. It would not be best not to remind her about that when she seemed to be better. The mirror burned in his sleeve, reminding him of its existence. An answer to all her— their problems. He needed to ask her.

He inhaled. “Byakuya, do you truly—”

Something flickered in her eyes, but before he could recognize what it was, she sprung up. “You know what? I’m hungry,” she said. “How about we have something to eat?” she continued, ignoring him. “Let’s go fetch some apples!”

She was almost halfway outside when he managed to give a confused nod. On his way, he picked up a small, wooden water container that was hanging from the nail near the door. Her back was straight and her head up as she led the way.

For now, he should wait. 

The aromatic scent of different flowers and fruits greeted them as they arrived at the small meadow. Although the spring was beautiful, only the irohanas could grow there as the trees blocked most sunlight. The meadow was a host to all different colored flowers and some fruit trees. 

While they picked edible-looking fruits, apples, and lychees, discarding those worms had already claimed, Byakuya kept twaddling to him about fruits and weather. He just listened, nodding once in a while. When her bag bulged from the fruits, she clapped her hands together.

“Tsukuyomi, how about we make some flower wreaths?”

He could not keep up with her pace. “Right now?” 

“There’s no better time than now.” She sat down on the ground and started to pick flowers briskly. “I know it’s not much… but it will be my gift for all you’ve done.” When she noted his inquiring look, she continued with a smile. “You know, for all you did here. I actually wanted to make you a cape, or a scarf, but… I never had time to even start it”—her smile wavered until it came back even wider—“so you’ll have to settle for this. Just you wait, I’ll make a reeeeally pretty wreath for you,” she giggled.  

He sat near her and followed her example. “Then I shall make you one too.”

“Great, then we’ll match!”

After that, she fell quiet. She focused on picking flowers and carefully tying them together, her tongue sometimes peeking from her mouth. Tsukuyomi began his wreath with golden sunflowers, and smaller, blue morning glories. She didn’t utter a word, so he decided to be quiet as well. 

When his wreath was almost done, she treaded to him and plopped down to the ground near him. A bee flew by. After a moment of silence, she fluttered her eyes at him while continuing her work. “Tsukuyomi, what were you going to ask me earlier in the storehouse?”

His hand reached to pick the last flowers. Byakuya eyed him with a small crease between her brows as he added the last flowers as decoration. With the last one, the wreath was done. It turned out quite well. The golden, blue and purple would surely fit her white skin and hair. But it was still just a wreath. Hardly suitable to use in this kind of situation. Still, it would have to do. Never would I have imagined I would ask this. He steeled himself. Still, if I am going to do this, I might as well do it properly. 

“Byakuya, would you like to wear this?” He offered it to her with both hands.

“Oh, it’s so beautiful!” She leaned in to inspect it. “I like the sunflowers, but the other flowers are pretty too. You really have an eye for detail,” she smiled and inclined her head.

“However, there is a condition,” he smirked.

“Huh, what kind of?” She tilted her head as she looked at him dubiously.  

“If you accept this, you will have to take me as your husband.”

“ Wh-what?”

She jerked her head back and her eyes seemed to bulge out from the sockets. Tsukyomi watched fascinated as red crept on her face, starting from her cheeks until it spread to her entire face, even to her ears. “What are you saying!” 

“I just asked you to marry me. I am aware a flower wreath is not a suitable engagement gift, but I am afraid I do not have the means to make anything else at the moment.” The blush did show on her face very well when her skin was so pale. There was a time when he did not care for the color, but right at this moment, the color on her face endeared him.

“I… I heard you… but… this is too sudden!”  Her voice rose, and her eyes darted between him, her flower wreath, and everything around her. “You… you need to warn me when you ask a question like that!”

“I recall you were the one who said there is no better time than now. Besides, if I warned you, then I would not see your face turning into a beautiful shade of crimson. That would be a pity.”

“Stop joking around!” Her face was still red when she scooped some leftover flowers and threw them at him. “Are you even serious about this?”

“I would never jest about this kind of thing.” He picked the flowers that had fallen to his lap and set his wreath aside. “I do realize it is a terribly selfish request, as I cannot give you color, or children.” Her face fell. His heart stung and without thinking, he reached and took her hand in his sleeve-covered hand. It was a pity he couldn’t touch it with his bare hands as they were too cold for her to bear. 

”Only thing I can offer you is my love and devotion.” She averted his eyes and looked down. Well, at least she had not drawn her hand away. Encouraged, he squeezed it. ”But I still want us to be together. It is as simple as that.”

She stared at their hands for a long time while he caressed her palm with his thumb. ”If we were to be together… we would have to leave this world. That would mean the very destruction of this world,” she stated slowly.

His jaw tightened. 

“I know.” And what of it? He swallowed his words. 

“Can you”—she closed her mouth and shook her head—”no… I mean… Can we live with that knowledge? For the rest of our lives…?” Her voice trailed away. 

He tightened his lips to suppress his sight. If she was asking that, she must still have not realized that he was not the same as humans. To him, this world and its people had been nothing but a means and a necessity to see Amaterasu again. One he could easily discard for another reason as well like he would throw away a brush that had run its use.

“If it means you will stay safe, then yes.” 

For what could be a better reason than an eternity with his beloved?

The temptation was too great. He brought her hand to his lips and brushed it gently with his lips. It tasted bitter, likely from the grease of the flowers. She gasped. Her hand jolted away and to his surprise, she bounced up, and before he could realize why she was so close to him, his back was on the ground. The world was a bit dark until he found her hovering above him on her fours. Some of her hair fell to his face, tickling him. 

The corner of his lips quirked up. This is… unexpected . Her eyes burned as she stared at him. She closed her eyes and inhaled. When she opened her eyes, they held resolution, as though she had come to a decision. “You know, I liked working here very much with you,” she said while tucking her hair behind the ear. “It was so nice to see this place change to like it was when I was still a child.”

“Yes, I noticed you enjoyed it tremendously.”

“There’s so much more that I would have liked to do here. I didn’t have time to set up the houses for tokyo-mushi. I wanted to learn how to make silk from their cocoons.”

She was even planning that? Truly her ambitions held no bounds.

“Do you think”—she bit her lips as she leaned in—”we could ever find a place like this? A place we could build from scratch?”

“We can,” he said instantly and rested his hand on her cheek. She closed her eyes, while his fingertips caressed her cheek. “Numerous worlds wait for us where we can search a place like this. A place we can call home and make our own. No matter how long it takes, we will find it.”

She opened her eyes, which twinkled. “Just to warn you… I might get carried away like I did here,” she grinned. “Are you prepared for a wife like that?”

“I do not see why not, as I have enjoyed every second of your unreasonableness so far.” His fingertips grazed her neck as his hand wandered to her nape, and she leaned further to him. 

“Even when we cleaned that house and it was so dusty that you kept coughing the rest of the day?” Their lips were so close, that he could feel her breath on his lips.

“Especially that,” he murmured.

He did not know which one made the first move, but finally, their lips met. Her hands cupped his face while he drew her to him. This was it, he realized. This was what he had been waiting for all the centuries.

Something stung him in the back of his neck. He ignored it. Her lips and the weight of her body felt so thrilling that he didn’t care. Then it happened again. And again. He yelped.

She rose with wide eyes. “What happened? Are you okay?” 

He reached for his nape and managed to pinch something that was not supposed to be here. Something small and black was squished between his fingers. He inspected it bemused. An ant. And there were probably more of them, as he still felt something crawling on his skin. Byakuya left his lap and circled to his back.

“Oh, Tsukuyomi, there’s more!” She cried and swept his neck. “There are ants all over you!” She spent a few moments sweeping them off. He looked around at the ground. There were a few fallen apples on the ground near them, with a swarm of ants claiming their prey. When Byakuya had finished, he took his cape off and swept it in the air for good measure.

“I’m so sorry, it was because I pushed you to the ground. I had no idea there were so many ants,” she grimaced as he fastened it back.

He swept his hand. “Do not worry.” He drew her back into his embrace and placed a kiss on her head. “It was well worth it.”

“Did you like it that much?” she giggled. Before he could kiss her again and show exactly how much he had liked it, she drew back from him, to his immense disappointment. “Oh, before I forgot!” She took a few steps and raised her wreath, which she had left to the ground. “Here you go!” She held it up like it was a crown. He inclined as she carefully placed it on his head. She cocked her head as he straightened. “It suits you. You truly look good on everything.” She twirled a strand of hair between her fingers. ”When we find… a new home, I’ll make you something proper. Can you wait for it?”

“So this is an engagement gift?” He touched the flowers.

“We-well, if you put it that way…” Her face flushed again adorably. “I suppose it is.” 

He searched for his own. Miraculously, it had not been in the way and was whole. “Will you accept this then?”

“I will.” A radiant smile broke on her face. He placed it on her head. “How do I look?”

The gold and all the other colors suited her, as he had thought. This would be the best he could give her, he realized. There was no color he could dye her with. That change was lost forever a long time ago when his blood spilled to the ground before he could even dream of her existence.

Living without color was so natural to him, but now he could not help but regret losing it.

“Oh, am I so stunning that you forgot your words?” she teased.

“Precisely.” He recovered from his thoughts. “I am out of words at the sight of you.” 

“Yeah, right.” She rolled her eyes at him, but her ears turned slightly pink.

While they made their way to spring, she hummed quietly. Despite her hand wrapped around his own, a feeling of unease crept on his nape. What had happened was a bit odd. He was happy, of course, but… why had she decided to come with him?

When they arrived close to the spring, he asked her to wait for him as he fetched the water. He didn’t want her near the spring, even if she didn’t possess the mirror. She didn't look happy but nodded curtly. After kissing her on her cheek, he left. The light played on the surface of the spring, as he scooped water from the spring with the container. Many, many times he had come to the spring to talk to Amaterasu and plead for her to answer him. Even one word would do. Grimacing at the memory, he rose. Never would he have imagined this was the way it would end. But perhaps it was only appropriate, opposites as they were. She was the goddess of the sun, and he was the god of the moon. Goodbye, my sister. I wish you well wherever you end up, be it Heaven or the cycle of reincarnation. He turned his back. Byakuya was waiting for him.

At the storehouse, they shared the tasks effortlessly. Tsukuyomi made fire using the tinderbox and opened the hatch in the roof to let the smoke out. Soon, the water and tea leaves, which he had picked from the usual jar, boiled in the pot while the smell of smoke spread to the air. Byakuya carried the small table from the corner and placed teacups, fruits, and some dried food on it. She had told him she would store some dried food here, just in case, he remembered when he saw the assortment.

They both sipped tea as they peeled the fruits and ate, filling the silence with their small talk.

“Are you going to take that off?” Byakuya raised her eyebrow.

“Why would I take my engagement gift away?” She had hung her own by the nail near the door, but he had not wanted to part with his own yet. “I will wear it until it withers away.”

“Please don’t. It’s going to make a mess.”

Their meal was meager, hardly anything she must have been used to in Douma’s house. Nonetheless, it felt festive when he could share it with her. 

“Tsukuyomi…” She put the dishes back on the side table, not in the bucket where they usually let them soak. He supposed there was no need to wash them anymore. “Didn’t you have a futon here? For sleeping.” 

“I do. It is in the other cottage.”

“Well, here’s my first request as your bride.” She turned around and brought her hands to her hips. ”Could you go get it, please?” 

“Ah, are you perhaps tired? I can sing you a lullaby again if you wish.”

“What I’m tired of”—she groaned—“is your jokes.”

He found the futon in its usual place in the cottage he had used for sleeping while visiting Tennyo Island. Before coming in, he left the wreath outside next to her own. She was crouching on the floor, sweeping dirt into the dustpan. “Over here,” she indicated on the spot next to her, and he spread the futon on the wooden floor. She immediately laid down on her side on the futon with a grin. “You look tired. Why don’t you come here to lie down?” She tapped the futon and fluttered her eyelashes at him, making him chuckle. He settled on his back next to her, while she made space for him. She pressed herself to his side and threw her other arm across his chest. Her leg hooked against his legs when she rested her head at the crook of his arm. 

The desire for her was painfully overwhelming. The weight of her soft body against his, her scent, the feeling of her bare tight rubbing against his leg, everything, everything about her was intoxicating. He licked his lips as he ran his hand along her back, and she pressed herself even more to his body. What kind of noises would she make if he touched her? What the bare skin of hers would feel like under his touch? Could she bear the coldness of his hands? A part of him desperately craved, and demanded, answers to those questions. But his lust was accompanied by a feeling of something straining in his stomach. So instead of giving in, he settled on stroking her hair. 

Her weight shifted slightly and her leg stilled. “Is something wrong?”

He inhaled. “ ...Byakuya, why did you accept my proposal?” Her head bobbed up. She stared at him with a blank look in her eyes, and he immediately regretted his words. “Forgive me. That was a strange question to ask.”

“Why ask that now?” She fixed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Do you feel guilty after all? That’s so unlike you.” Her tone was light, yet he felt there was something behind it. Her eyes bore into him. The silence between them stretched until he couldn’t bear it anymore.

“Byakuya, I—” 

He couldn’t finish the sentence as she cupped his face and kissed his cheek softly. “It is alright, Tsukuyomi. I do want to be with you.” She caressed his cheek with her thumb. Just the touch of her fingers was enough for the desire to rise in him. “Is that so hard to believe?”

Maybe it was. Perhaps she had only chosen him because she was scared of Amaterasu usurping her body. Then again, what difference would it make? The part that humans would probably call selfish and cruel inside him whispered. 

“I do believe you,” he said slowly and cradled her cheek in return, his other hand on the back of her head. “I suppose I am not used to having my wishes granted.” 

She leaned into his touch and brought her hand above his own. “And what is your wish exactly?” 

“Your happiness.”

“That again?” She huffed. He supposed he had told her so many times that she was getting bored with it. “Are you sure there’s nothing else?” She narrowed her eyes.

To be the only one for you. “I want you.”

“Well, that’s a relief. Because I’m the same,” she murmured. “I just want you.” She pressed her lips to his own. He didn’t need to question her feelings. He could easily tell from the way her hands gently cradled his face, how lovingly, yet possessively she kissed him, in a way no one had ever done to him. That was all it took. He grabbed her hips and pulled her above him, making her straddle his hips and breaking their kiss. Byakuya yelped as she straightened herself.

“Tell me more,” he ordered. He slowly made circles with his hands on her thighs, his fingers sneaking a little bit under her dress and her stockings. She flushed but held his gaze, her eyes turning hazy. “Please,” he asked.

“Tell you more about what?” A small, mischievous smile as she tilted her head and moved her hips, which made a groan escape from his lips and wish there was no clothing between them. Her smile turned into a triumphant grin. By the Gods, she was beautiful like this.

“Please,” he repeated, voice hoarse. 

She bit her lips, assessing him. “When I was in the spring… You were the only one I thought about.” She looked at him with parted lips, eyes dizzy, as he sneaked his hands further under her dress. “No one but you.” 

“And?” He raised her the helm of her dress to allow his hands a better access under it. His hands trailed on her stomach, her sides, till they stopped just under her breasts. He was rewarded by her sweet, sweet moans that made desire roar inside him. 

“I… I wanted to see you.” Her voice trembled as he caressed her skin slowly. Just close enough to graze her breasts but not touch them.“Touch you and hear your voice.” 

“Do you truly wish to leave this world with me?” he murmured. She gasped when he pulled her closer to him from her shoulders, one hand under her hair and nape. 

“Yes.” With swift hands, he opened her ribbon and kissed her throat. A shot of glee went through his body as he earned yet a different kind of noise from her, something between a whimper and a moan.

“Even to a world without a sun or stars?”

“Yes.” She straightened herself and took her dress off. It flew behind her and settled on the floor. Now she was wearing nothing but her black bra, underwear, and stockings. She took his hands and guided them to her breasts,  “Yes,” she whispered and closed her eyes.

Tsukuyomi played with Byakuya’s hair lazily, as she lay in his arms, both sweaty and exhausted. 

His curiosity had been fulfilled. Byakuya whimpered and moaned in ways that made him more determined to make her let out more noises. Much to his disappointment, she couldn’t bear the coldness of his hands very long. Even if she didn’t say anything, she squirmed from his touch, so he had to wear his robe to cover his hands. The sun was starting to set, making it harder to make out the outlines of the furniture. The embers smoldered in the heath, faintly red.

“Can we leave when it’s dark?” A sleepy voice asked. “I want to see the stars one last time.”

He would have preferred to leave immediately, but he supposed it could wait. “We can if you wish so,” he pressed a kiss on her forehead.

She yawned. “You’re so warm.” She wrapped her hands around him and snuggled to him. “How come the rest of you is so warm, but your hands are so cold…?”

“They were not always like this. It happened when I lost my color.” 

He did not know how he could tell, but he could hear her mind stilling. 

“Tsukuyomi, there really isn’t a way for you to gain color?”

“No, there is not”, he lied in the most gentle voice he could muster. “What is once lost, cannot never be returned. That is the way of this world.” 

She was silent as he massaged her nape with his fingertips.

“Okay.”

He kissed her forehead again, then both of her cheeks. “I will guard your sleep, so you can rest for now.” He reached for his cape and draped her with it, earning a small chuckle from her.

“What?”

“It smells like you. It’s nice.” She raised its edge and draped him along with her, making them share the cape. “You’ll be cold otherwise.”

After they shared a few tender kisses, he caressed her back while her breathing evened. When he was certain she had fallen to slumber, he heard her voice, small and childlike.

“Tsukuyomi?”

“Yes?”

“What will happen when I grow old…?”

“We will cross that bridge when it’s the time.” A tingle of guilt stung him, but the time was not ready yet. She wasn’t ready yet. “Do not worry about it.”

“I don’t want you to be alone…”

“I know.” And I love you for it. “Sleep now.”

“Will you sing for me? The same song?”

It didn’t take long for Byakuya to fall asleep. Maybe his voice was well suited for this. Tsukuyomi watched her sleeping face as he caressed her hair. Even though it was dim, he could tell she looked the same when she slept as a child.

A memory from the past drifted to him. They had been on their way to the beach. She had run around ahead of him, ignoring his warnings to look where she was going. Then she tripped, hitting her knee to a stone like he had been afraid of. He could tell it was worse than usual from her pitched and frightened cry. He had scooped her in his arms and comforted her while tending to her bleeding knee. After her tears and blood had dried up, she clung to his robes and kept sniffing quietly. “ Do you want your mother?” She had shaken her head and wrapped her small hands around his neck. “ I want Tsukuyomi .” How her trust had pleased him. But then she wriggled out of his arms and ran giggling after some poor turtle that had risen from the ocean. He sighed as he strode after her before she got into another trouble.

He supposed she hadn’t changed that much at all. She still wanted him and still trusted him. He gave her one more kiss, before turning on his back to wait for her to wake up. 

By the time Tsukuyomi felt her body stirring next to him, the birds had fallen quiet outside and the glowing embers in the hearth had died out. Byakuya’s fingertips brushed his hand. Their fingers twined. A moment passed. A small eternity, or just the time it took to boil tea water. Her body was warm, and comforting as they lay, skin to skin. As if they were one mind, they finally rose, picked up their clothes, and dressed themselves. 

They walked into the forest, passing the houses and her sapling, hand in hand. The dark sky had been painted with the full moon and stars. The lantern that he had found in the cottage and the full moon lighted their way. Tsukuyomi made sure to take in the night's scent and sounds as a memory. The smell of earth, the insects making sound, the feelings of tree roots under his shoes.  

When they arrived at the beach, the lights of Tenguu Island shone in the darkness like dying stars. After helping her to the boat, he fastened the lantern to the bow and pushed the ferry to the ocean. 

Byakuya’s head was tilted up, to the direction of the stars, while he rowed. 

At this time, Yosuga and Camelia must have their hands full of the customers in the bathhouse. Perhaps Camelia had looked for him in Naraku. Tsukuyomi could see her shaking her head and muttering about giving him a piece of her mind when he returned. Some time ago, she had reprimanded him, “Tsukuyomi-sama! You should tell us if you’re gone for a long time! We will worry otherwise.” After that, he always told her or Yosuga if he was gone for a long time. 

When the Shinimizu would overflow, Camelia and Yosuga would be among the first to drown among the customers. Even if Camelia couldn’t drown, the pressure of the water would destroy her body. The image of her body crushed to pieces was… unpleasant. But it could not be helped.

Was Douma worried for his daughter?

Was he reading his books by the window, desperately waiting to hear the sound of the door? After some months after the Red Calamity and her living in Douma’s mansion, Tsukuyomi had asked Douma why he didn’t tell her he was her father. Douma’s eyes went cold as he answered him. “Didn’t you say fathers' of White women aren’t important? So it doesn’t matter if she knows or not.”  Douma could not fool him. It was fear that made Douma close his heart to Byakuya, not indifference. When Tsukuyomi told Douma so, he had just sneered at him. “If you are so worried about her, then why do you not save her from Amaterasu?” Douma had smirked. “ For a god, it should be an easy task. ” 

When the roaring of the whirlpools reached his ears, Tsukuyomi stopped rowing. The oars dripped water, as he raised them back on the boat. This was as good a place as any. Byakuya looked at something behind him. To Tenguu Island. What was she thinking of? Was she saying her final goodbyes? Her face was shadowed, so he couldn’t tell. 

He took the mirror out from his sleeve and twirled it in his hand. To think the fate of this world depended on this unremarkable-looking thing. How ridiculous. All the more evidence that this world should not have existed from the beginning. 

“Let’s do it together, Tsukuyomi.”

Hesitant, he raised his gaze to her. Even if she had chosen to leave with him, he did not want her to be burned with this. Byakuya leaned in and brought her hand above the hand that was holding the mirror. Her fingertips dug into it almost painfully, as though she was determined to keep him still. He tried searching for any sign of regret on her face. But she held his gaze, her eyes steady. He liked her like this. Merciless, not looking back, not showing regard for those left behind. 

He nodded slowly, and together they did it.

The shards of the mirror gleamed on the floor.

Their eyes met, her face confused. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but stopped. Her mouth hung open as she stared at the sky behind him. He followed her gaze. Just the stars and the moon in the sky. Then something went out.

A star had vanished. Then another. And another. And another. 

Their ferry swayed, and Tsukuyomi heard the angry roar of a dying beast. Byakuya shrieked. He scooped her into his arms, and she grabbed onto his robe as the waves started to swirl their ferry. 

It was finally quiet.

The flow of Shinimizu had stopped, and the waves had calmed down. His heart was still beating, even if he had known they would be safe. Although he had lost his powers as a god, he still had the protective blessing left. 

Carefully, he moved Byakuya in his arms so he could look at her face while supporting her neck. Her eyes were shut and her head hung. During the overflow, she had trembled and whined, until he had felt her body had gone limp. She had lost consciousness, perhaps due to shock. He fixed her position, held her close, and stroked her as the waves cradled their boat. 

Millions of emotions swirled inside him, forming a strange torment of grief, relief, and triumph. Grief for Tennyo Island, women who slept there, Yosuga, Camelia, Douma, Hiruko, and Amaterasu. Triumph and relief for saving his child. 

He looked at the sky. As he had predicted, just the moon remained. No stars or sun.

The shards of the mirror still gleamed on the floor. He fixed Byakuya’s position, so she rested on the other hand and began to pick them up with a free hand. They made a little sound as he threw them into the sea. No, Shinimizu, he corrected himself. The ocean was gone. Even the scent of saltiness was no more. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw something gleam in her ankle. He furrowed his brow. Her ankles were full of tiny little shards from the mirror. He started picking them up carefully. Luckily, they hadn’t sunk too deeply and wouldn’t leave any bleeding. She didn’t even flinch from the touch. He brushed Byakuya’s hair when he had finished and trailed his fingers from her forehead to her chin.

“Tsukuyomi, there really isn’t a way for you to gain color?”

Many times, Tsukuyomi had lied to her. Sometimes he even felt bad for it. Not telling her that the man who she despised and lived with was actually her father, had probably weighed him more than all the things he hid from her. Even so, he regretted none of his lies. If he had told her there was a way of gaining a color, she would have run straight to danger, not listening to his warnings, as she had done as a child. 

Gingerly, he placed her on the floor. He lifted her head carefully to put his cape under her head as a pillow and covered her. After making her as comfortable as possible, he kissed her on the forehead. 

Tsukuyomi took the oars and started rowing. 

He should not know where to row in the darkness that surrounded them. But something pulled him forward, as though there was an invisible beacon beckoning them. Tsukuyomi already knew what was waiting for them at the end of it.

Their new home.