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Needles. The feeling of needles.
That’s all Collei ‘felt’ as she was in her nightmare, all of the needles from before. The hands trailing up her spine and legs, pressing down and waiting for responses. The clicking and scribbling of pens when she produced a result.
Suddenly, she felt a sharp injection and screamed with all her might.
Then, she jolted upright in bed, her scream resounding around the room she was in. Her and Noelle’s bedroom. That’s right, she wasn’t there anymore. She was married to Noelle, in Noelle’s house in Mondstadt, where no one could hurt her.
She also just woke Noelle up by accident with her scream.
Collei put her head in her hands, all but hyperventilating from her nightmare, not even looking at her wife. What kind of a wife was she to wake up her beloved in the middle of the night for no good reason?
Noelle, from beside her, now obviously startled awake, put a hand on Collei’s back. The green-haired girl jerked away as she held in another scream.
‘Don’t scream, Collei, it’s your wife.’ Her brain reminded her. It’s her beloved. She’s safe.
“Collei, dear?” Noelle spoke softly, almost afraid to hurt Collei any further. “Are you alright? Did you have another nightmare? Do you want anything? Water?”
Collei looked over at her wife, shaking her head ‘no’. “I.. Yes, I did have another nightmare. About.. Well, the experiments.”
Her wife scooted closer to her, a soft sigh escaping her lips. “Again? Are you alright, my love? I really think you should see Scaramouche again, talk about-”
Collei shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to spill out and show just how weak she was. “No,” She said, as if it would wash away all her issues and trauma throughout the years. “I don’t want him to think I’m weak. He.. He had it worse than me. I should be able to deal with this by now, Lel.”
Sighing, Noelle shook her head at her wife. Why was she always so insistent that she had to be self-sufficient? Even now? “Dear, Scaramouche understands. I asked him last time if he thought less of you because of your varied experiences, and-”
Collei gasped, hands dropping down to her waist as she glared at her wife. “You told him?!” She exclaimed. She told Noelle that in confidence that she wouldn’t repeat it!
Her wife nodded. “Lei, I did it because I was worried for you. Anyways,” Noelle reached over and grabbed Collei’s plushie, ‘Culein-Anbar’, from the floor beside their bed, handing it to her wife. “He said he understands. He doesn’t view it as a race or- or, uhm, a contest to see who has the worse trauma. He said he was just glad to find someone who understands.” She sighed, in disappointment. “Then he used some.. Colorful language to describe The Doctor. I would’ve told him to stop but I didn’t feel like getting scolded by the only person who understands you.”
Collei groaned, stuffing her face in Culein-Anbar. “Why am I so weak then? He deals with it just fine!” Was her reply, muffled by her plushie. Noelle moved to pat her back, shaking her head. “He has days like this too, you know. Albedo told me his are just like yours.”
The green-haired girl squeezed her plushie tighter, sniffling as the tears started escaping now. “I hate him! I hate that doctor, I hate the fatui! I hate how I still feel their hands all over me to this day! I hate how I can still see my injection scars! I hate my body! It’s so ugly because of him!” She cried, lifting her head to look at her wife. “How.. How did you even fall in love with someone as ugly as me? Someone as diseased and awful like me?”
Noelle picked Collei up, knowing Collei would tell her off if she didn’t like it, and placed her wife in her lap, running her hands through her hair. “You’re not ugly, my dear. Did you forget I have scars too?” She lifted up the sleeves of her nightdress, revealing scars running up and down her arms. “And.. I fell in love with you because you’re kind.” Noelle grinned down at her wife, moving a hand to tap Collei’s wedding ring. “I married you because I love your soul. And yes, you’re truly a sight to behold physically, but I love you for you. No scars, doctor, or trauma can take that from you. I loved you from the moment you cussed me out when we first met.”
Collei groaned, stuffing her face in Noelle’s collarbone. “But I was so mean to you!” The silver-haired girl nodded, her smile only widening. “You were the only one who had the guts to be mean to me. I liked that, weirdly. I like different.” She giggled. “And, when I found you again, I think that was when I really developed a real feeling of love towards you, not just a small crush.”
The green-haired girl picked her head up from her wife’s collarbone, nodding her head. “You’re weird.” She stated, bluntly- You’d think she wasn’t talking to her wife with how she’d put it so simply. Although, Noelle nodded and giggled once again. “You could say that! I like to think I’m unique. Just like you!”
Collei rolled her eyes, wiping her tears from her face, sighing. “But I’m weird, Noelle.” The silver-haired girl shook her head, taking Collei’s face in her hands. “I don’t think you’re weird. Does anyone else?” The green-haired girl shook her head no. No one outwardly said she was weird. But what if they thought it?
Noelle sighed, pressing a kiss onto Collei’s nose. “Then you’re not weird! I certainly don’t think so. Now,” The silver-haired girl said, moving to get up from their bed. “I’ll go make us some food. You must be hungry!” Collei shook her head quickly, feeling awful. “Noel, it’s like.. 4 in the morning. You don’t have to! You have work in the morning!”
Noelle sighed, shaking her head back at her wife’s stubbornness. “I wouldn’t be able to sleep now anyways- Which you shouldn’t feel bad about!- So it’s fine! And I’m hungry anyways.” She gave Collei a sincere smile as she got out of bed, moving to the door of their bedroom and opening it. “Would you like my pancakes, or would you like me to attempt to make Pita Pockets?
Collei giggled, happy to be married to someone like Noelle. “Pancakes, please. I’d like something kinda sweet. Thank you, Lel.”
Maybe Collei was meant for happiness, after all.