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“Tobio wants you to come to his birthday dinner.”
“Oh?” Suga would be lying if he said he was surprised by that; in the few months that he and Daichi had been dating, Tobio’d become like a little shadow to him, always trailing after him, slowly coming out of his shell to ask Suga to play or to read or to hold his hand. So no, he’s not surprised that Tobio would want him to come to a birthday dinner, but still-
-it warms every single inch of him.
“Wait, Daichi, a birthday dinner? He’s hardly four, and he wants a birthday dinner? Oh my god, that’s so cute.”
“Heh, I know. I’ve been asking him for months if he wanted a party, but he told me last week he wants dinner. All serious.”
“Ah, that’s precious!”
“I know. He, uh, he also told me he wants his mom to be there, too.”
“O-oh.”
“Yeah, so the three of us and him. I told him I would ask, ‘cause I know you two haven’t really, like, actually met. Properly.”
“Yeah.”
“And the first time it was- whatever. So, it’s up to you. I told him you might not come-”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll come.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s for Tobio, and I should- I should meet his mother like, formally.”
“I can just as easily introduce you some other time.”
“No, I’ll go.”
“Okay. You know, Yui’s fine with, uh, us. She and I talked, a lot, about it, and she was just taken by surprise, and working through her own stuff. She felt bad, too, that day she ran into you, and I think she’d like to start over, make a better first impression with you.”
“Okay. Yeah. That’ll be good.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, Daichi, I’m sure. Don’t you start trying to talk me out of it. It’s for Tobio, anyway. And Yui. I should make as much effort as she does.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I am.”
“Okay. That’s sweet of you, Suga. Tobio’s gonna be happy. Speaking of, I gotta get him settled into bed. We’re still on for the museum this weekend, right?”
“Yeah, definitely.”
“Don’t forget.”
“As if I’d forget! I’m the one who planned this!”
“Heh, I know. You’re just so easy to rile up. Talk to you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
Suga hangs up with a slight sense of unease. He’s happy, thrilled to bits that he’s been invited to Tobio’s birthday dinner, but Yui…
He hates to pass judgment on someone he doesn’t know. He hates that. But he holds his own doubts about himself, and about his relationship with Daichi, so very close to his chest, that he can’t help but be defensive. Yui’s probably very nice, but she’s Daichi’s ex, not just an ex, but his ex-wife. He’s afraid his affection, his love for Daichi, a bud that’s firmly taking root and growing swiftly by the day, will crumble to bits.
Shouyou comes racing around the corner, throwing himself onto the couch with a book in hand, demanding a story. It shakes the thoughts out of his head, as only Shouyou is capable of. He settles Shou against his chest, and they curl up, until Shou’s finally nodded off. Suga tucks him into bed, and slips off to his office to write a few scenes before he crawls into bed as well. He goes to bed- not too late, because Daichi had tricked him into promising not to wreck his sleeping schedule, at least, not too much- feeling a little more content with himself, and the work he’d managed to get done.
Suga hadn’t said a word to Shouyou about the dinner; he didn’t need Daichi to warn against it to know that keeping it secret from Shou was literally the only course of action he could take. He did feel bad about having to lie, though. The babysitter knew where he would be, but he had to make up some story about going to a very grown up and very boring lecture, so Shou wouldn’t have a fit about being left behind.
Daichi’s already at the restaurant with Tobio, when Suga arrives. They both wait out front, bundled up against the cold December night. Suga smiles when he turns the corner and sees the two of them, his nerves temporarily dissipating when Tobio runs towards him.
“Hello there, birthday boy!” he says, when he scoops Tobio up. He doesn’t say anything, but he squeezes his arms tight around Suga’s neck, and it floods Suga with happiness. Daichi watches the two of them, with bright, warm eyes, and fondness takes firm hold of Suga. He wants to kiss Daichi, so badly, but they’re on a very public sidewalk, and Daichi’s ex-wife could be showing up at any moment.
“Hi.”
“Hi yourself.”
“We’re just waiting for Yui now. Should be just a couple of minutes. You can go inside, if you want. Tobio and I will keep watch for her.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll stay out here with you two.”
He knows Daichi’s giving him a look; he can see it from the corner of his eye. Daichi’s watching him, looking for those little telltale signs of nervousness that Suga knows he can never hide. He ignores the careful looks, though, doing his best to focus on Tobio’s story about daycare that day, as he plays with the buttons on Suga’s coat. Suga has to pay extra attention to follow his story, as words aren’t quite Tobio’s strong suit yet, but it passes the time. Soon enough, Yui’s rounding the corner, and Suga’s heart involuntarily leaps in his chest.
“Hey, Tobio,” Daichi says, pressing a hand to the small of Suga’s back as he steps closer, pointing down the street, “look who’s here.”
Tobio can hardly turn his head with his hat and scarf and coat all bundled tightly around him, but he manages, and squirms his way out of Suga’s arms to run towards his mother.
Yui looks just as pretty and petite as she did months ago, when Suga first ran into her. The reassuring press of Daichi’s hand against his back helps a little, but the nerves still threaten to overtake him.
“Yui,” Daichi says. Just the sound of his honey-warm voice puts Suga at ease, and he tilts a little closer, “I’d like for you to officially meet Sugawara Koushi.”
Suga puts on his best smile, and accepts Yui’s hand when she reaches out to shake his.
“Sugawara-san,” she says, “I’m glad to meet you.”
“Please, just call me Suga.”
Suga can feel the way awkwardness is starting to settle in between the three of them. Even Daichi, who’s usually unflappable in the face of all the awkward things Suga’s always pulling him into, stands stiffly beside Suga, like he’s poised for something.
“Well,” Yui says, shifting Tobio on her hip, “shall we go in?”
“A-ah, yes, absolutely.”
Tobio picks where they all sit. He was shy, when they first stepped into the restaurant, clinging to Yui’s hand, and whining when Daichi had to wrestle him out of his coat, but when they got to their table, he took control, and the bossiness that Daichi fervently hopes is just a result of opportunity crept out.
There’s four seats around the little table; Suga-san to the left, Mama to the right. Daddy has to sit at the head chair between the two of them, and he wonders, for a second, if Tobio is actually aware of the divide between Suga and Yui that Daichi has to navigate. It’s a little too eerily perceptive for a four-year-old.
When Daichi goes to get Tobio settled in the booster seat next to Yui, he starts screaming. Daichi hates to admit his son is spoiled, and he debates over enforcing the booster seat rule, but it’s Tobio’s birthday, and people are staring at them now, so he just tugs him out of the seat and plops him on his lap. Tobio cheers up almost immediately.
“I want cake, Daddy.”
“You can have cake after you eat your dinner.”
“Cake. Cake, cake, cake!”
Tobio starts smacking his hands against the table to go along with his chanting. He’s in very bright spirits tonight, unusual, but not as uncommon as it had been a mere few months ago. Daichi’s pleased that his son is that much brighter, but it does make it a bit difficult to get him focused on what he wants to eat, especially when he starts telling some story to Yui. He ends up ordering curry rice for Tobio while he chatters away, knowing that he’ll just end up picking off of Daichi’s plate anyway.
“Well,” Yui says, when Tobio stops talking to her and talks to himself instead, “it’s cold out there, isn’t it?”
They all agree.
Daichi wants to groan at the painfully adult attempt at conversation, but it’s not like he has anything better to say, nothing to spark relaxation between Suga and Yui.
“Sorry, excuse me. I’m just gonna use the restroom,” Suga says standing abruptly.
“Suga-”
“It’s fine, Daichi,” he says, with a little smile, “I’ll just be a minute.”
He ducks off before Daichi can say anything else. Helplessness settles firmly in his bones; he’s known Suga long enough now that he recognizes those little signs, when he backs away into his own head and gets lost there. It’s usually easy to pull him back down to earth- a nudge to his side, the press of his thumb over Suga’s pulse point on his wrist- but tonight, it’s not so easy. Tonight is hesitance and awkward, stilted conversation, aborted touches and a still-new relationship weighing between them, not wanting to say or do the wrong thing, as they both- all- try to hard to pretend they’re adults, for the sake of Tobio.
So Daichi watches Suga go. He’s frustrated with himself, for Suga’s sake; he’d wanted to make this easy, for Suga, but it’s far from that.
“So,” Yui says, “he seems nice.”
“He is,” Daichi replies, trying to curb the irritation in his voice. It’s no easy feat, and he doesn’t quite manage it, as Yui tilts her head at that angle, her eyebrow curved just slightly.
“Tobio, stop banging your hands, please.”
“Daichi, come on. He’s not bothering anyone, just let him be.”
“Tobio, stop please.”
“Daichi!”
“Yui,” he says in a hiss, “could you just not? Not tonight, please.”
He knows he shouldn’t have snapped, can tell by the way Tobio goes still in his lap, the way Yui’s jaw clenches up, but this night is going so far from how he had planned it. It’s frustrating.
He takes a deep breath, and lets it go slowly, trying to push all that frustration out.
“I’m sorry,” he says, when he’s done, “I didn’t mean to snap.”
Yui’s face softens, just a little. She reaches out and pats Tobio’s hands gently, until he stops slapping the table.
“Mama…” He’s starting to whine.
“No, honey. There are other people here who are having nice nights, and we need to use our manners so we don’t bother them.”
Tobio doesn’t seem overly convinced, but he does pull his hands off the table, resting his fingers on the edge instead. Daichi runs a hand over Tobio’s hair, and then stands up, plopping Tobio down in his freshly vacated seat.
“I’m gonna go see where Suga-san got to,” he says. Tobio turns and looks up at him.
“Where’s Suga-san?”
“He said he was going to the bathroom, but I’m gonna go see if he’s alright.”
“Is he hurt?”
“No, I don’t think he’s hurt, but he might be nervous.”
Tobio scowls a little, but turns his attention back on Yui. Daichi takes it as an opportunity to slip off.
He might be picturing the worst scenario, when he heads towards the back of the restaurant, like Suga crying or angry, hiding himself in the bathroom because he’s upset, so he may burst in with a little more force than necessary. The noise startles Suga, who’s standing in front of the mirrors. He doesn’t look tear-stained or visibly upset, besides the way his hand is clutching at his chest.
“Daichi, god, you scared me-”
He cuts Suga off, hands sliding along the sides of his face, and tugging him gently forward for a kiss. Suga inhales through his nose, his hands coming up to grip Daichi’s wrists. It’s a short kiss, and Daichi breaks away after a few seconds, but Suga still looks stunned, breathless. It makes Daichi want to kiss him all over again.
“Sorry,” Daichi murmurs.
“For what?”
“For...that, I guess. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“I am.”
“Suga.”
Suga at least has the decency to look a little embarrassed by the clear lie he’s trying to tell.
“It’s not fair that you can read me this well, you know,” he says. “We’ve only been dating for three months.”
“I think that’s perfectly fair.”
“Hmm.”
“Tell me what’s bothering you.”
“I just-”
Suga looks away, his big, pretty eyes glittering in the light. He’s still holding Daichi’s wrists, and Daichi’s still resting his hands on Suga’s shoulders. He tries to convey reassurance through his touch.
“Yui’s very nice and everything, I just- I just. She’s a little intimidating.”
“Yui? The girl who weighs 90 pounds soaking wet is intimidating?”
“Daichi, don’t make fun!” Suga says, uncurling one of his hands and thumping him lightly in the chest. “She’s very nice, and pretty, and put together, and- she- I just-”
“You know,” Daichi ventures, wrapping his own hand around Suga’s, pressing Suga’s fingers flat against his chest, “there are reasons she and I aren’t together anymore.”
Suga looks at him, wide-eyed, and Daichi knows he’s hit the problem right on the head.
“We shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. We shouldn’t have dated, but by the time we figured that out, we had a baby on the way. And then our families wanted to make sure we’d do the right thing, but it wasn’t right, not for us.”
He slips his hands down to Suga’s waist, and pulls him a little closer.
“I don’t regret Tobio, at all. I wouldn’t go back and change a thing, but that’s all in the past. I met you, and I- well, I don’t regret that either.”
“Daichi,” Suga gasps out. His eyes are a little shiny, “you’re such a sap.”
“A big, handsome, awesome sap.”
“God!”
“Come back out with me? I think Tobio thinks you’re dying.”
“Oh god, what did you tell him?”
“Just that you were nervous.”
Suga chews on his lip, so sweetly concerned that Daichi can’t resist kissing him again.
When they get back to the table, Tobio is coloring on a paper placemat ripped into four sections. He squawks when Daichi picks him up, and then struggles for one of the papers as soon as Daichi settles him on his lap again. Tobio hands the square of paper to Suga.
“Suga-san! I draw you this so you won’ be nervous!”
Suga takes the little square gingerly. He’s drawn what looks like a person, with a great blob of silver crayon hair, with a big red heart around it. Suga actually almost cries, and Daichi has to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from laughing. How dare Suga call him a sap earlier.
“Oh, Tobio,” he says, holding the square up so everyone else can see, “this is beautiful! Thank you very much!”
Tobio grins, and suddenly plays shy, tucking his face against Daichi’s chest. He doesn’t turn back to coloring until the waiter arrives with their orders, but has to put the crayons and things away after some prompting.
Suga tries so hard to keep his mind clear and calm. Yui truly is very nice- Suga hadn’t been exaggerating when he said that- but there’s a strain to her. Suga suspects she might be feeling just as awkward as he is, and it helps, weirdly, knowing that the two of them are trying their best.
“So, Sugawara-san,” she says, when the conversation has dipped into a lull, “what do you do for work?”
“Oh-” Suga says, swallowing a mouthful of rice, “I’m a writer.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful! What do you write? Anything I’ve heard of?”
“U-uh, well, maybe?”
“Suga writes under a pen name,” Daichi interjects, “although, he won’t tell me what it is.”
“It’s a contract thing,” he explains. “Only my editor and my manager know what it is.”
“The publisher doesn’t know?”
“My editor’s an old friend from college, who’s friends with the son of the CEO of the publisher. They’re the ones who arranged my contract and everything.”
“Can I ask which publishing company it is, or is that in your contract, too?”
Suga hesitates for a moment. No one’s asked about his publisher in a long time. It’s no secret; he hasn’t told Daichi, but he’s pretty sure Daichi’s seen some of his mail lying around his apartment.
“No,” he says finally, “it’s no secret. It’s a small branch off of Shinchosha-”
“Shinchosha? Like the company that Shimizu Kiyoko publishes under?”
Suga doesn’t choke on his food, but it’s a near thing. He sincerely doubts that Yui’s this sharp; she’s probably just a fan-
“I love her!”
Definitely a fan.
“You’ve done it now, Suga,” Daichi says, smiling. “Yui’s gonna go on and on about how great Shimizu Kiyoko is now.”
“She’s wonderful, Daichi! Don’t even pretend like you haven’t read her stuff, too. She’s prolific. A lot better than the mediocre junk that everyone else can’t seem to get enough of. I’m so excited for her next book. Have you ever met her, Suga?”
“Oh, I’ve run into her a few times.”
Yui actually squeals and waves her hands a little. It makes both Suga and Daichi laugh. It’s fascinating to watch how instantaneously she’s opened up, how easily she started gushing, once Suga found the right thing to talk to her about. The atmosphere at the table brightens considerably; even Tobio appears happier, now that everyone is getting along a little better. Although, it does mean Yui barrages him with nonstop questions for the rest of the night.
Tobio crashes after cake, slumped against Daichi’s chest. Suga propped his little drawing against an empty glass, so he could look at it through dinner. It calms him, in a way, knowing that as complicated as things between adults and parents can get, Tobio’s feelings are still pure, and sweet.
“You know,” Suga says, on a whim, “I’m not looking to replace you.”
He’s surprised by his own boldness; he’s not typically so direct. Yui is watching him, carefully, but not angrily. Perhaps a touch curious.
“I couldn’t replace you. God knows I’m no substitute for my nephew’s mother. But…”
He clears his throat and sits up a little straighter.
“But, Tobio means a great deal to me. Daichi, too. So I hope you’re okay with me caring for the both of them. You’re very lucky to have them in your life, and so am I.”
He was expecting for Yui to maybe smile, or make some half-sarcastic remark, not for her eyes to be full of tears.
“Yui, are you crying?” Daichi asks.
“No!” she says. She snuffles, and digs a tissue out of her purse, mopping at her eyes. Suga’s slightly horrified that he’s made her cry.
But then he jumps, when she slaps her cheeks. In an instant, she’s gone from watery, to fierce.
“Sugawara,” she says, “before tonight, I was unsure about you, but it’s very clear to me now that I couldn’t ask for Daichi to have a better boyfriend.”
“Oh my god, Yui-”
“Shut up, Daichi, there’s a moment happening. Sugawara, I just want my two best dudes to be happy, and I know you’ll fit the bill.”
Daichi’s laughing, but Suga’s too stunned to do more than make a noise of affirmation. Yui blushes like crazy when Daichi starts laughing, and she swats weakly at his arm.
She’s...really something.
Tobio wakes up from his comfy spot and whines when he realizes he’d fallen asleep at his own birthday dinner. There’s more whining when he has to be shuffled into his coat, but then he gets to cozy up in Daichi’s arms again, his little mittened hands holding firm onto his father’s shoulders.
Daichi’s beaming, when they walk out the door. Suga notices, and smiles back, surprised when Daichi ducks close and kisses him. Just a quick peck against the corner of his mouth, innocent to the core, but they’d been keeping the affection to a low, low level in public, and in front of the boys.
“Daichi,” he starts, heat rushing across his cheeks, but then Tobio wants a kiss from Daddy, too, and then one from Mama, and even one from Suga-san.
It’s not the way Suga had pictured their evening going, but he’s happy, giddy with relief, hopeful that things aren't nearly as complicated as they seem.