Chapter Text
The first chapter of Hyunjung's life comes to an end in March, one early spring day.
It doesn't really occur to her at first - while the snow has mostly melted away, the weather still feels the same as it did in the weeks before, and so does the atmosphere in the restaurant the company booked out for their group's celebratory dinner. Even though it's all stoic, floor-to-ceiling black and white lined with exquisite porcelain decor, the people around her crack the facade into life and colour. They settle into plush leather seats and Dayoung almost immediately starts kicking up a fuss - she's late again, can we put our meal on her card? - Sojung shushes her even louder and everything feels absolutely, completely normal.
(That is, save for the still-empty seat across from her, flanked by Yeoreum and Dawon.)
“Dayoung-ah, it hasn't even been five minutes past our reservation time,” Juyeon scolds.
“Okay, and? And?”
“What about all the other times you were late and we had to wait for you?”
“That's different because it was only you and Sojung unnie and Luda unnie waiting for me, not like, twenty people.”
“Stop it,” Yeoreum whines. “You're being annoying.”
“I'm hungry and this irresponsible unnie has no consideration for my feelings-”
“What was that?”
Hyunjung looks up from her phone. Dayoung jumps up as a hoodie-clad Jiyeon saunters up to the table, electric grin on her face.
“Wanna say that again?”
“Nope,” Dayoung returns the smile nervously. “I think I'm good, thank you.”
“That's what I thought.” Jiyeon gives Dayoung's shoulder a firm pat, then slides smugly into the empty seat across from Hyunjung.
Right, she thinks. Of course.
Jiyeon catches her eye and smiles, briefly and politely; now she has to say something.
“You made it,” is her choice of greeting, which she regrets immediately.
“Yeah. Sorry I'm late. I had to take a call before I came in.”
“I see.”
There's a beat of silence. Hyunjung digs around for something to fill it, anything - who called? What was it about? Something trivial, something urgent? She’s about to speak but then Jiyeon's eyes drift away, flitting restlessly around the posh decor, and the words fizzle out. Instead the conversation is picked back up by Dawon, and she and Jiyeon chat comfortably - Hyunjung is off the hook again.
(This is how it usually goes. Another normal thing among normal things.)
The waiters choose then to start bringing out the food. Small, expensive plates are served course by course, carrying tiny portions of fish adorned with sprinklings of gold flakes, colourful spring vegetables and warm soups served with flower petals. Rowdy conversation obliges to the refined setting and turns into barely-restrained mild chatter, punctuated by oohs and ahhs and the shutter clicks of phone cameras. It doesn’t stay that way for long, though, not with the very persistent champage refills they’re getting - very soon the volume picks back up again, this time rougher around the edges, in rebellion.
“It's time for toasts!” Sojung declares, tapping her spoon against her champagne glass.
Yeonjung snorts. “Who decided that?”
“I did, so-”
“I don't wanna,” Luda singsongs.
“Who wants to go first?”
Hyunjung laughs dryly. “Sojung-ah, if you want to give a speech just go ahead. Don't drag other people into it.”
“Exactly,” Jiyeon says, crossing her arms. “She thinks she’s the great Gatsby or something.”
“First of all, Gatsby would not do this,” Sojung’s voice raises indignantly. “Second, it’s always you two teaming up against me. Give me a break. Please.”
This time when their eyes meet Hyunjung looks away first, clinging onto the corner of a napkin left untouched beside her plate.
“Fine. Do what you want,” Jiyeon teases. “Since it’s a happy day, I’ll let you off.”
“Thank you,” Sojung grumbles. “So if no one wants to start, I’ll go ahead.”
A chorus of reluctant agreements - and one cheery, mocking laugh from Soobin - sounds from the table. Sojung stands up, glass in hand, and clears her throat.
“We've been running for a long time, and every moment of the past seven years is precious to me. Though there've been some regretful things, of course, and not all of it was pleasant-”
“Like?”
“Give examples, unnie.”
“-Even if I could turn back time, I wouldn't change anything for the world.” Sojung's tone softens. “And I know I shouldn't say it like this, but I want to, so listen, okay?”
The clinking of silverware slows to a halt. Everyone sits up, turns their bodies, pays quiet and earnest attention.
“Things are going to be different from now on, right? I mean, Hyunjung unnie is literally moving out next week, Luda and Dawon are going their own ways,” she laughs weakly. “Jiyeon-ah, you're so busy I barely see your face these days, not that it's a bad thing- but it's different. I guess it's already different. Honestly, the thought of being without you all for a while scares me, a bit.”
Sojung pauses, swallows. Even with the red dusting her cheeks, her words are clear like glass.
“And I think it’s going to be difficult, learning how to be alone. For myself and for a few of you too, maybe. But I- I know I can do it, because of the past that we've shared.”
The quiet turns uneasy. There's no doubt that they've all been thinking something along those lines but it's different, hearing it aloud. It suddenly feels like too much to bear.
Hyunjung's usually the first to try and get out of a situation like this. It's instinct built up from years of being on broadcast, compounded with her own personal discomfort. But this is her friend Sojung, and this is just them, she has to remind herself - no cameras, no personas. And when she turns her head, she sees that Jiyeon is staring at Sojung, hint of a smile on her lips, affection dripping like honey from her eyes.
Like there's nothing more important to her in the world.
(At one point, this particular look was reserved for Hyunjung. And after it wasn't, she rarely saw it in the years that followed - if it wasn't stained by bright stage lights and concert makeup, it only appeared in glimpses, loving and open but brief and never, ever, directed towards her.
But Hyunjung supposes it's a good thing, that Jiyeon has become more generous with her affections.)
“So, um…”
Sojung looks around. When her eyes meet Jiyeon's, Jiyeon nods encouragingly.
“Here's to doing all the things we want to do, to living every day happily and healthily, wherever we are. To walking towards the future with a calm heart.” Sojung nods firmly. “Here's to now.”
“To now.”
At the bottom of Hyunjung's glass, Sojung's words fizz and bubble back up into thin air. Hyunjung drinks deep - a little too deep, she realises, wincing at the burn in her throat.
“Unnie,” Luda says, concerned. “What's up with you? Were you that touched?”
“No, it's not that-”
“No?” Sojung repeats incredulously. “It's not that? Then what did I say all that for?”
Her eyes go wide. “No, Sojung-ah, that's not what I meant-”
“You heard it.” Jiyeon chimes in, grinning. “Do better next time, Chu Sojung.”
Saved, by Jiyeon nonetheless. Hyunjung relaxes into a half-smile. “Right. There's always room for improvement.”
Sojung scowls. “What's with your chemistry today?”
“Oh!” Yeoreum says. “You two are wearing the same necklace.”
The table freezes.
Yeonjung's hand stops mid-slice. Sojung lets out a loud snigger, Juyeon slaps her on the thigh while Luda starts coughing beside Soobin. Poor Yeoreum looks like a deer in headlights as she realises what she just said.
It’s only then that Hyunjung sees, and verifies what Yeoreum noticed - a silver chain holding a simple bead-shaped pendant, sitting innocuously outside of Jiyeon’s hoodie. She stares at it, reflecting on her own decision to wear hers out today, and wonders if this is a sign.
Jiyeon doesn’t miss a beat. She takes a sip of her champagne, regarding Hyunjung momentarily with curious eyes. Then she sets it down gently, in control of the room around her, with everyone waiting for her next move.
“Unnie and I have similar tastes,” she remarks lightly. “You all know that.”
The table takes the cue to move on.
“Right, right.”
“That necklace is trendy. I saw someone wearing a gold version the other day.”
“Whose turn is it now?”
“Oh, dessert is coming.”
Hyunjung can’t help her grimace, looking down and bringing her napkin to her lips to hide it. Similar tastes, huh.
She supposes that isn’t wrong.
She was the one who bought that necklace for Jiyeon, after all - knowing that it was something they’d both like, as an anniversary present all those years ago.
When they step out of the restaurant, Jiyeon speeds off first with apologies, something about an early shoot for a commercial. Everyone else takes their time to leave, exchanging thank yous and farewells and see you soons. It’s sweeter than it is bitter, laced with an ambiguity that has become trademark of their exchanges with the company - Hyunjung tries not to read into it too much on what’s supposed to be a celebratory evening. It’s when only her and Dawon are left standing out on the pavement, waiting for their own cabs to arrive, that it begins to dawn on her.
This is it. She’s on her own now.
A sharp gust blows past them. The streets of Apgujeong are vibrant as they always are, filled with couples and partygoers and drunk businessmen, and even though she’d just ended a nice night, she somehow feels the beginnings of a timid loneliness. She’s not sure if she’s allowed to feel that just yet, though, so she pulls her coat tighter around herself, chalking up her sentiments to the last glass of champagne she had half an hour ago.
“It’s cold out today,” Dawon notes in matter of conversation. Her tone is light, airy. Hyunjung briefly wonders when the next time she sees Dawon will be.
“Mm. It’s cold.”
“But I saw that it’ll get a lot warmer next week, on the weather forecast. I guess spring is really here. Right, unnie?”
“I guess so.”
A cab pulls up in front of them then. Dawon smiles kindly, stepping forward then turning around to lock eyes with Hyunjung again. She seems like such an adult now, Hyunjung realises. Mature and thoughtful as she’s always been but much more so in this moment. She pauses briefly, looking for the right words.
“Take care of yourself, unnie,” she says. “I hope everything goes well for you. This is just the beginning.”
Hyunjung swallows her anxiety and nods, waving goodbye as Dawon gets into the car.
Just the beginning.
There are a number of reasons why Hyunjung and Jiyeon didn't work out. Falling out of love wasn't one of them - at least, not to Hyunjung, because she loved Jiyeon very much.
If you asked her, she would tell you, curtly, that it was mostly a matter of right person, wrong time. They were good when they were together. A lot of their time together was clumsy and immature, and Hyunjung will admit that she could’ve done better, but that doesn’t take away from what Jiyeon meant to her - because Jiyeon was everything. It was unfortunate, Hyunjung would say, that they had to meet like this, while chasing a dream that was inevitably bigger than everything. So it ended, naturally. Without a head or a tail, as is with most things involving Hyunjung.
Almost five years on, Hyunjung accepts it for what it is: a failed attempt at a relationship turned into something ambiguous, sitting between just colleagues and just friends. And even though she loved Jiyeon very much - and Jiyeon loved her possibly even more so - she recognises that it’s better left in the past, too deeply entangled with the context that broke them apart in the first place. Hyunjung thinks she's done a decent job at leaving it behind; she hasn't really thought about their relationship in retrospect, and she's directed her focus to work just like they intended. Maybe part of her still misses Jiyeon, but it's just been so long - they're real adults now, not the cheap imitations they were when they were dating. Real adults do real adult things. Like working towards long-term goals, like buying houses and driving cars.
Like moving on from your first love.
Jiyeon seems to have that part down with no problem. Hyunjung has seen the silver rings and secret smiles, affectionate looks traded with idols she doesn't know backstage, cars coming to pick Jiyeon up just after sunset. There isn't any point in looking back, not if Jiyeon, who loved her the most, is well into the future already. So Hyunjung continues her routine of ignoring the thoughts when they arise, then pressing the play button on the instrumental of her next cover track to do just one more run, like she should. She's sure she'll be just fine, if Jiyeon is too.
(Hyunjung has never been known for being honest with herself.)
A few days later, Hyunjung moves into her first solo apartment. It’s a cozy two-room in Gwangjin-gu, with big windows and a park within five minutes of walking. A step forward with the whole adulting thing, she affirms. And even though she quickly has to install netting on her big windows to keep the bugs out (since Juyeon isn’t her housemate anymore) and create her own Netflix account (Sojung’s was free real estate), it’s alright. That’s what being an adult is like.
Her last housewarming party - she throws multiple, because she can’t handle too many people in her house at once - is the most intimate one. Unintentionally so, because even though she allowed Juyeon to send an open invite into the members’ group chat on her behalf, only three of them showed up. With enough alcohol for ten.
“I know I said don’t come empty-handed, but-” Hyunjung grimaces. “Isn’t this a bit excessive?”
“The kids all chipped in so you have to drink.” Sojung refills her glass with whisky for the nth time. “Besides, you can just keep whatever we don’t finish.”
“I’m done,” Soobin hiccups, lying on the floor. “You all- go on without me-”
“Unnie, we're almost done with this bottle, let's work together okay?”
Juyeon drunkenly tries to pull Soobin up by the shoulders but she shakes her head, curling up further into herself. “Juyeon-ah, I'm cold.”
Wordlessly Hyunjung reaches over and tosses a blanket over Soobin's body. The sudden motion sends everything spinning. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to re-ground herself.
“Ah, before I forget,” Sojung pulls out a box from her bag, about the size of her hand. “Here.”
Hyunjung opens one eye, peers suspiciously at Sojung. “Another gift? What’s gotten into you?”
Sojung scoffs. “It’s not from me, idiot.”
“Then?”
“It’s from Jiyeon.”
Hyunjung's eyes fly open. “Jiyeon.”
“Yeah. Take it before I throw it away.”
She doesn't hesitate to open it right away. The box is plain and unmarked - no name or message - and the item inside is wrapped carefully in white tissue paper. Gingerly, Hyunjung unwraps it and sees that it's a framed picture she took of her family pets, Yangdong and Yangmal, staring coyly into the camera. The sentiment is simple but it makes her heart thrum in her ears.
Hyunjung clears her throat. “You met up with her?”
“Yesterday.”
“I see.”
Juyeon peers over, clinging onto Hyunjung's shoulder. “That's cute. Jiyeon unnie's so thoughtful.”
“Mhm.” Sojung takes a sip of her drink. Hyunjung places the frame to the side and follows suit.
“Is she-” Hyunjung tries again. “How is-”
“You know, instead of asking me, you could just,” Sojung gestures vaguely. “Ask her. I’m sure she can answer better.”
“You know I can’t.”
“You could if you wanted to,” Sojung insists. “And I get it. It’s not easy to want to reach out. But you know it’s not that you can’t. You can do anything, unnie.”
Hyunjung’s head feels like a bowling ball. She leans back into the sofa, staring at the ceiling. “I don’t understand.”
Sojung sighs. "Juyeon-ah. You try."
"Unnie, do you want that? To start talking to Jiyeon unnie again?" Juyeon asks gently.
"I don't know?"
"What?"
Because they are talking, Hyunjung thinks. Now they're actually functional, they can coexist as people who work together and it's fine, like that. It's better than it was and probably as good as it gets. Wanting anything more than this is just being selfish. A greed that Hyunjung knows will be insatiable if she even thinks about giving in.
"Like, I don't... I don't think she would take it well," she settles on saying. "And I don't think it would be good for me."
"So you're just going to keep asking about her like this... which is also not good for you."
Hyunjung frowns. "Yeah. That’s the plan."
"But how would you know?" Sojung argues. "You're not even entertaining the possibility that it could turn out fine.”
“How would you know?” Hyunjung snaps, irritated both by the situation and the fuzz in her brain. “Do you think I enjoy this?”
“I’m the one who actually talks to Jiyeon, if you just-”
“Don’t fight,” Soobin drawls with her eyes still closed.
“Don’t fight,” Juyeon affirms. “Apologise.”
Sojung looks away guiltily. Hyunjung takes a deep breath.
“Sorry.”
“Sorry.”
“I respect that this is what you think is the safest thing to do, and you’re not wrong for that. I just don’t want to see you regret playing safe,” Sojung pauses, contemplating, “And for what it’s worth, I feel like if you ever want to… repair things? Reach out? There’s no better time than now.”
Hyunjung levels her with a hard stare. “You want me to make a fool of myself by drunk texting my ex.”
Sojung snorts. “If that’s what you want to do, then sure, but I meant during this period. Since things are different now.”
The clock on her wall reads 4:03am. Hyunjung finishes off the last of the whisky, relishing in the way it burns down her throat. Sojung is right that things are different, but maybe it’s just that she isn’t brave enough to realise that yet. Maybe she just can’t be that person anymore.
“It’s late,” she says, voice steady. “You guys should get going.”
Soobin suddenly springs up. “Yah, I wanna eat ramyeon before we go. Please? Unnie, where did you keep the ramyeon packets again?”
“Now, unnie? Really?” Juyeon groans.
“My point is,” Sojung continues. Hyunjung refuses to look her in the eyes but she feels Sojung’s gaze all the same. Heavy and sincere, like everything is at stake. “Quit living like you’ll have another chance at life. We used to be fearless when we were kids, unnie. I’m sure you can do it now.”
“Sojung-ah,” Hyunjung mumbles. “I hate drinking with you, you know that?”
Soobin starts rummaging through Hyunjung's near-empty kitchen cabinets with a surge of energy. Juyeon follows and grabs her arm. “Be serious for once, unnie, it's so late and Hyunjung unnie literally has no food left for us to eat-”
“I know,” Sojung laughs. “And I hate giving you advice because you never listen.”
“But here we are.”
“Here we are. So, what are you gonna do?”
Hyunjung takes out her phone and types the first thing that comes to mind. She shows it to Sojung, who nods.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“I mean,” Sojung shrugs. “You won't know until you try.”
“That doesn't sound very confident.”
“Can I have some backup?” Juyeon says loudly. “Please!”
“Just try, I said. Try.” Sojung stands up and begins to gather their things. “If that's what you want. You have nothing to lose.”
Hyunjung's mind is nothing but static. In front of her, there's only Jiyeon, finally within reach. A mere millisecond away.
She closes her eyes.
[4:06am] 김현정:
how are you?
When Hyunjung wakes up, it’s still morning. Nine-ish on the wall clock, from what she can make out through her headache and poor vision, and it seems that even though she’s still in her living room, no one else is.
Right. She should probably check up on those three.
Her back cracks as she reaches for her phone on the coffee table. When her lock screen lights up, there are only two texts among a plethora of other meaningless notifications, one from Juyeon and one from Sojung.
[4:42am] 근덕:
good morning unnie ☀️ me and sojung unnie are home! soobin unnie should be too!
[4:50am] 추소정:
update me
Hyunjung frowns. Strange way to check on her wellbeing. She ignores Sojung and types a quick reply to Juyeon - ok, thanks for coming - and then goes to text Soobin, just to make sure she's okay.
Then she sees it.
지연이
→ [4:06am] how are you?
Huh.
She blinks. Exits the app and reenters again.
It’s still there.
Fuck.
The panic sets in. Hyunjung opens the chat and there’s still a 1 beside the text, meaning Jiyeon hasn’t read it, thank god. She long-presses the text bubble but there’s no option to delete it. Frantically she googles, hands going clammy as she types - how do I delete a message I sent on Kakaotalk? But Google tells her there should be the option, right there, so she swipes back to try again, and the 1 is gone.
Jiyeon’s read it.
Hyunjung tosses her phone into the couch cushions. That’s enough screen time for today.
Hyunjung finds the courage to return to her phone after sunset. It takes a gym session, a long walk and deep-cleaning her entire apartment for her to get there - but now she feels leagues better than she did in the morning, and she's mentally drafted out a reply for every potential one she thinks Jiyeon could send. To say she's prepared now is an understatement.
Her phone lies face-down on the couch still. Like her hand might get burnt, Hyunjung flips it over, wincing.
Yoo Jae-suk grins back at her from her lock screen, bearing no new message notifications.
Hyunjung even goes to open the app herself, but there's nothing from Jiyeon. Even though the text she sent is still there, and the 1 beside it is still gone.
Right. It was her mistake to think Jiyeon would reply in the first place.
The next day, Hyunjung stalls checking her phone until after she's done with her tasks for the day. Practice, some brainstorming for her upcoming projects, preparing for her next meeting with the video team. She convinces herself that Jiyeon must've been busy, that if she's going to text back, it's going to be today.
Nothing again.
And again.
And again.
Eventually her chat with Jiyeon gets pushed back out of sight by texts with staff, friends and family. When her Youtube channel launches, the members fill their group chat with congratulations, but Jiyeon remains absent and so Hyunjung can go back to pleasant normalcy. Because for a while, the quiet when she's being shuttled from schedule to schedule feels nice. So does getting her hair and makeup done at actually reasonable hours, and being able to decide creative things for herself. The thought of Jiyeon re-settles comfortably into where it originally was, tucked into its hideaway at the back of her mind, and the cherry blossoms begin to bloom in Seoul.
Everything is as it should be.
The first big rain of spring comes and washes out with it nearly all the flowers in sight. From splendid blossoms on trees the petals now lie on the ground in damp pink mounds surrounded by puddles; Hyunjung side-steps them carefully so her shoes don't get dirty before her radio schedule, but even then she tracks a few stray petals into the studio. The show goes well nonetheless - it's only her third week but she feels surprisingly well-adjusted, so she bids goodbye to the fans and leaves feeling satisfied. When her phone buzzes as she gets into the car, she expects that it's Soobin, with her usual unsolicited radio post-mortem.
[1:12am] 지연이:
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
did you drink?
Hyunjung drops her phone. It hits the seat and thunks loudly onto the car floor, but thankfully her manager only glances at her through the rearview mirror. Quickly she picks it up and checks again.
Jiyeon. It's Jiyeon.
Almost a month after she texted her first.
This time Hyunjung almost laughs. Why did Jiyeon reply now? It's ridiculous. It makes zero sense. Nothing she knows about Jiyeon tells her that she would do something like this. And she was expecting Jiyeon to respond more harshly, if anything - a what's wrong with you or are you really asking me this or get it together, unnie - but this?
Okay. Hyunjung can deal with this.
[1:15am] 김현정:
ah
sorry
yeah i was wasted i think sojung made me send it
Jiyeon doesn't reply immediately. Hyunjung alternates between watching the cars pass outside the window and staring at her screen, waiting.
[1:18am] 지연이:
sojung made you send it?
so you don't actually wanna know how i'm doing, huh
[1:18am] 김현정:
no!nonononoido
are you doing fine?
[1:19am] 지연이:
mhm i was busy for a while
but now i'm resting!
[1:19am] 김현정:
i'm glad you get to rest now
[1:19am] 지연이:
congrats on the youtube channel btw, and the radio show
[1:20am] 김현정:
thanks
[1:23am] 김현정:
i saw that you went on a few trips?
In the darkness of the car, Jiyeon’s Instagram page is ultra vibrant, white beaches of Hawaii beside old palaces, Jiyeon flitting easily between one identity and another. She’s always moved quickly, but it strikes Hyunjung with slight discomfort at how many sides of Jiyeon she’s missed already in such a short time. Despite this, she allows herself to scroll. Since she’s already doing this much, anyways.
[1:26am] 지연이:
ㅎㅎ yeah
they were nice!
what about unnie how've you been
[1:27am] 김현정:
ah well
i’ve been good too
Hyunjung gets to a post where Jiyeon’s posing with her latest co-star. They look good together, she notes - there's a sense of casual familiarity between the two even if they're physically distant, connected only by Jiyeon's arm playfully perched on his shoulder. In the last frame they're cheek-to-cheek, grinning at some secret joke Hyunjung isn't in on. This is Yeonju. Someone Hyunjung doesn't know.
[1:28am] 김현정:
you seem to have lots of time recently
[1:28am] 지연이:
it’s bc i’m done with promotions ㅎㅎ
i start filming again in july
[1:29am] 김현정:
working on your birthday again?
[1:29am] 지연이:
you know how it is, unnie
[1:30am] 김현정:
even then
at least you can enjoy lots of nice vacations now
[1:30am] 지연이:
it’s burning a hole in my wallet ㄷㄷ
(image)
kyoto
[1:31am] 김현정:
nice
did you go alone?
[1:31am] 지연이:
with my mom
but i think it’d be nice if i went alone too
[1:31am] 김현정:
i want to go on vacation too
solo vacation
[1:31am] 지연이:
what’s stopping you?
[1:32am] 김현정:
um
“Seola-ssi. We've arrived.”
“Ah- sorry,” Hyunjung flushes, opening the car door. “Thank you. You've worked hard.”
It's always been on her to-do list, more as a distant goal than anything. Their schedules just never allowed for it, or it wasn't a priority. But Jiyeon's right that there's nothing stopping her from going now. She can work around her current engagements and go wherever she wants, whenever she wants, because she's free. Just like Jiyeon is. Hyunjung heads up to her apartment and tries to picture herself there - in Kyoto too, maybe. It works.
Maybe taking a leaf out of Jiyeon's book would do her good.
[1:45am] 김현정:
was it easy to get around?
[1:50am] 지연이:
in japan?
yeah!! it wasn't difficult
[1:50am] 김현정:
i see
[1:50am] 지연이:
i think it might suit you, unnie
That night, Hyunjung squints at her iPad screen, glasses perched loosely on her nose bridge. The next opening in her calendar longer than three days is in June - she has a whole five days before her radio schedule on Tuesday.
Kyoto in the summer might not compare to its spring, but Hyunjung supposes it can’t be anywhere near bad.
[6:32pm] 김현정:
i'm going
“But unnie, why didn't you ask me?”
“About?”
“About going on a trip,” Soobin huffs.
There’s a growing pile of meat being placed in front of Hyunjung. She grabs a few pieces with her chopsticks and starts transferring them haphazardly into Soobin’s empty plate, until Soobin nearly smacks her with the cooking tongs. “Eat.”
Hyunjung groans. “I’m full, Soobin-ah.”
“Eat or I’ll get up and walk out and you'll be paying.”
Hyunjung shoves a piece into her mouth without further complaint.
“I’ll be free in June,” Soobin continues. “And you've never been to Japan alone before. Will you be okay?”
“I’m thirty.”
“Doesn’t make you any less dumb than you are.”
“We’re both dumb,” Hyunjung scoffs. “Don’t act like you're better than me.”
“At least I can talk to people! I’m just concerned for you, unnie.”
“'preciate it.”
“So why? Are you meeting someone there?”
“No.”
“Then? What is it?”
Hyunjung leans back in her chair, crossing her arms. “I just wanted to try going alone. That’s all. You should know how I am.”
“I know, but…”
Hyunjung’s phone buzzes on the table. It’s a text from Jiyeon - Hyunjung snatches her phone up, hoping that Soobin didn't see the notification.
(It’s a little embarrassing that she hasn't changed Jiyeon’s contact name, is all.)
[7:03pm] 지연이:
congrats!
it'll be fun
let me know how it goes ㅎㅎ
“…if you get lonely, call me, okay?” Soobin says, then narrows her eyes. “And what are you smiling about?”
Hyunjung snaps her frown back in place. “I wasn't smiling.”
“Sure. Whatever.”
“I’ll be fine, Soobin-ah,” Hyunjung stuffs another two pieces into her mouth, as thanks for letting the subject go. “It’ll be fun. You just want to go because you'll miss me too much, won't you, honey?”
Soobin rolls her eyes playfully. “Not a chance.”