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'I sing about the terrible dragon and his blue-cloaked warrior.
Coming from a city that was above the sea, and that the river surrounds.
The fearsome dragon was indecipherable, and of all the cities he had been to, no warrior had been able to defeat him.
With the prophecy, everything he inhabited, being the bearer of the abyss, would bring chaos.
From a small town that had been saved by the sea, the warrior in the blue cape arrived.
Wherever he went, chants sounded about his blue cape and the legendary weapon that promised to end any evil that reigned.
Brave like the others, the warrior with the blue cape dared to face the terrible dragon.
Perhaps even the terrible dragon heard about this being, and as a final warning sent him back home.
Before he succumbed to the fate of greedy princes whose flames evaporated him.
Like all others who dared to face him, the terrible dragon speculated that the blue-caped warrior was just another ambitious man.
With that he condemned him and all those who supported his cause.
The battle has been fought for a long time…”
Gabrielle sat in an old rocking chair while three children fought over a spot on her lap to sit in, trying to stay close to her. In her hand was an old parchment that stretched across the table, containing the story she had just told.
"Wait, is that all?" asked the first child.
"What happened? Was the dragon defeated?" The second, another girl like the first, also had her doubts.
"Who was the warrior with the blue cape?" The third, a little boy smaller than the other two, was interested in the hero.
"Sorry dear, it’s just an incomplete story that I found in an old trunk."
Gabrielle carefully rolled up the parchment, a somewhat complicated task since the three children were surrounded by her arm. Each one demanded the bard's attention and anything was used as proof of favoritism, generating a long discussion.
"I think that’s enough for today, we have a lot of things to do and a beautiful winter solstice to enjoy."
"Let the others sort it out and tell us more!" The first and oldest of the children always came up with a good argument.
"I've already told you more than I promised."
"One last one?" The second girl tried.
"No mind."
"And what about the story of the goddess of love's gift to the world?" This was the last child, this time drawing everyone's attention there.
But before Gabrielle could say anything, a knocking sound on the door caught the attention of the four involved, only then did they realize that all this time, at least since the beginning of the story, they had been being watched by a tall figure. Xena was leaning against the open door with her arms crossed against her body, enjoying the interrogation that the other was going through.
"Enough stories for today, I need to deliver each of you to your parents."
Speaking at the same time, the three children again wanted to argue, but with a raise of her hand, Xena silenced all three.
"All three clean or lose their presents."
By this time the children were already at the door ready to be delivered, as the warrior had said, and this gave Gabrielle a break as she watched their interaction. While they waited for Xena, she went to Gabrielle to help her with the last things.
"I owe you one."
"Luckily for me, everyone gets presents today."
Gabrielle lightly slapped Xena on the shoulder, having understood not only the tone of her speech but also the smile that followed her end. Any attempt to respond was avoided, and soon the three children were calling Xena. Even if they knew the way and could go, they would prefer to be delivered in the presence of the warrior princess.
"I'm going now." Even though she didn't want to leave, it was necessary. With a gesture of her hand, Xena signaled for the three children to go ahead.
The room where Gabrielle was with the children, which had previously served as a messy room where all the junk was stored, was now a beautiful room with scrolls or any antique that brought back good memories. Cyrene's inn was noisy, not only because of the three children running in front, but also because of the coming and going of their friends who were staying there. It was the winter solstice and somehow this managed to unite those who were with it.
Xena had to dodge two clumsy people who were carrying a wooden beam that she had no idea what they were going to do with. With a sigh, she continued on her way. She was irritated by the whole thing. It was a never-ending mess, a lot of noise and a lot of people. But that was part of her bad mood, which would soon change when things calmed down. The children only stopped because of her. They seemed to know how to differentiate the sound of her footsteps, and because of that, they could tell when she was standing still or walking.
That floor was once again witnessing three pairs of legs that ran frantically, making its old and worn wood creak, showing Xena that there was work to be done. She could have sworn she saw a glimpse of the past, like an aura or impression of Toris, Lyceus and herself running around the inn playing at attacking something imaginary while the wooden spoons were used as swords.
As a spectator of the past, Xena saw her past and when those three happy children felt the floor of that inn crumble for the first time, despite the summer, that morning was colder than the most terrible winter they had ever witnessed, holding the look that the girl Xena knew well was holding back tears after shedding them many times, Cyrene told her children about their father's decision to leave because of the war. There was no commotion or questioning of the reason for the decision, they had been the few in that region who still had their father alive, at some point it would happen anyway, at least that was what Xena thought, as she silently picked crumbs from the bread and spread them on the plate.
Obviously, little Lyceus would ask if he had done something wrong and Cyrene would quickly hug him saying how perfect he was, solving all his questions, and of course Toris would stand up and remember his role as an older brother, reinforcing to Lyceus how good he was. Cyrene extended her arm and soon Xena stood up, joining that hug. The ground that had previously collapsed, her mother's warmth rebuilt it again, she was finally feeling her feet touch them.
"Make lots of friends, my dear, so you'll never feel alone." Cyrene told her as she kissed the top of her head. Then it was Toris' turn to receive some support from Cyrene. "And as for you, have a wife so you won't feel alone and make her very happy."
The sweet bitterness of the drink ran down her throat as if it were tearing apart everything it passed through, but soon she released that fervor when the smoke from that burnt herb that entered her lungs came out. Then everyone around her did the same, they were like her, one was the son of the baker, another the son of the carpenter, the twins the chicken farmer and she the daughter of the innkeeper. At 11 years old, that was all they had. Should that be wrong? For them, that was reality.
At that time, she and the other boys in the village thought that Amphipolis was a big world. Every now and then, one of them pushed the other to the limit. Then Xena discovered that the world outside Amphipolis was even bigger, when her house was invaded by Cortese, her younger brother was taken from her and the other one ran away like the coward he always was, her mother's hatred and resentment towards her and finally her expulsion.
Her first night in that big world, without food, shelter, anything to protect her from the cold, anything to scare away her fear, the world was big and empty.
She was taken out of her thoughts when the three stopped in front of the first door in the hallway. The inn used to have one or two rooms for lodging, nowadays the place was much bigger and consequently there were many more new rooms, which became perfect to accommodate everyone during times like the solstice and to raise more money on normal days.
"Very good."
With the famous pose of putting her hand on her waist, she knocked three times on the door. The children were more patient than her, waiting for the door to open. The three of them were quietly side by side, waiting for all that boring part to end so they could go back to playing. Footsteps alerted them and in a few seconds the door was opened. Sarah opened it with a beautiful smile when she noticed who was knocking on her door, although the girl, or rather the woman, was always friendly with everyone.
"Hey, it’s you guys, I was just going to get her."
Sarah was referring to the older girl, her daughter Aayla. There was no doubt that, just like Sarah, the girl was so identical to Gabrielle, which made Lila jealous of having her daughter and granddaughter faithful copies of her sister, but deep down everyone knew that in the end she felt adoration for them having brought out the best in Gabrielle. Lila had never wanted anything so much as when she looked at Sarah for the first time and asked the gods to bless her daughter as she felt her lost sister was blessed by them.
Sarah was so radiant, so different from the imposing figure that Gurkhan had made his first wife, and so far from the frightened girl who had been sentenced to have her head on a silver platter.
"Grandma Gabrielle told us a new story, but it’s a shame Grandma Xena didn’t let us hear more."
"If I let them, I would soon have to put all three of them with the pigs." She used her threatening tone, even though it didn't even tickle those three.
This new title, the warrior princess was now called Grandma Xena, how ironic that was when she believed she would die too soon before she even had the chance for a new title. For a time she felt so miserable and accepted the punishment of not receiving her son's love, she didn't even hope that one day she would be called mother, she didn't deserve that.
At first, Lila didn't mind at all when her granddaughter started calling Gabrielle grandma, which caused her some laughter when her wife tried to justify how young she was for that, but was disappointed when she remembered her real age. She once tried to remind Gabrielle about her having received that title long before because of Destroyer, but that led them to Hope, she shouldn't think about that now.
One day the girl made them all laugh when, even at a young age, she realized that she should share that same title because she belonged to Gabrielle. Xena took it as a good joke, but it strangely gave her joy. Gabrielle belonged to her, so everything that came from Gabrielle was welcome to her.
"She told us about a dragon." Sarah's daughter talked as much as Gabrielle, and Sarah too, when she recovered from everything she had been through, discovered that she talked just as well.
Sarah seemed as interested in the story as the younger boy was eager to have a say. Xena was once again taken back to her past, when she was seventeen, eighteen, maybe twenty, when all this glory stuff had bored her.
After Cortese, Caesar, and all that nonsense that preceded what she had become, her story was much better heard from the lips of frightened bards, her laughter was terrifying when others finally encountered the myth, her amusement after the end of all she had destroyed was the horror in the eyes of those who remained. All those stories of glory bored her deeply, for all the heroes were dead before the sun rose and she was having her story told at the end of the day.
When the end of the day was lonely, even with Borias by her side and her entire army, she liked to think about her goals for her Ascension, the more she thought she was at the top of something, the more she realized she needed to yearn for something even greater. This Xena remembered a time, of a young and evil Xena sitting on her throne with a dagger in her hand and thinking about her next step.
The dagger in her hand spinning as its tip was stuck in the wooden arm of the throne, too restless to really think, but she had always been like this, all that agitation in her mind and that's why she needed to extrapolate externally. It started with drinking, then with herbs, sex and a good fight was great to move her body, then she needed something heavier and then she lost control of everything. She and Borias always ended up fighting at the end of all that stage, and at that moment something like that had already happened, maybe she really loved him or was too fixated on him, because the screams and aggressions from earlier would be enough to kill him in the most painful way.
She was ignoring all of this, she wouldn't obey Borias or back down, but she needed to find something perfect to end his whole plan of kindness in making a deal.
She remembered how she smiled when something crossed her mind, and nothing good crossed her mind. The movement with the dagger stopped, her gaze went to the messenger hanging upside down, and she witnessed the fear turn the boy pale, she only needed to be quick and precise to hit his throat with the dagger. The squirting sound of an attempt to say something, while his body convulsed, increasing the flow of blood that ran down. Surely that messenger must be telling some lie about tomorrow's negotiation.
Who did she want to fool, that Xena, the Evil Xena didn't need reasons to do what she did, she simply did it because she wanted to and that was the story, without any commotion behind it. She will just do her best show, when she surprises Borias by showing up at the meeting confirming that she received the message for him.
Something had to happen for her to calm down a little, to hold back the madness. In a time not long ago, when there was not even a shadow of the last person who was with her at that time. She was alone after Borias, after what she had to do and with a new army.
Her hands, calloused by the delicacy used to wield the quill, trembled slightly as she held the parchment. It had been a long night of writing, and she read out loud to the company in her tent everything she had written. It wasn't something that important, she was just describing one of the places she had been on her trip as a lesson.
For those who wonder if Xena really knew how to read, she was a warrior and there was no time for that, but as her story was being told, she wanted to make sure with her own eyes that there was nothing wrong with a scroll. Or to make sure that someone didn't betray her by reading something wrong on purpose.
"Now go. I want you to tell me the cruelest thing you can think of, go and tell me that I did it and you were the only survivor. If you tell me about your time here, I will rip out your tongue."
She was merciful to that bard who taught her to read. His threat was not the cruelest she had made to anyone, but for a bard, not being able to tell his stories could be worse than death itself.
Once again the cloud that had shrouded her mind with flashes of the past dissolved as the front door opened and Eve's voice entered the scene. Her daughter's smile brightened as she caught Xena's smile, and her pupils dilated as Sarah's eyes connected with hers.
"Hey." Eve's voice reached Sarah even with the talkative child.
"Hey." She replied shyly. Saying goodbye to everyone, she remembered that she needed to help her daughter with her bath.
Xena noticed Eve's last look until the door was finally closed, she forced a small smile and her daughter did the same, how similar mother and daughter were. Now it was just them and the middle child and the youngest boy. Holding on to both of their shoulders, Xena only took a few steps until she reached Eve.
"I heard some voices and I thought it was you with the children."
"Are you okay?" She kept her hand lightly squeezing Eve's shoulder, she wasn't very good with words, but she hoped her daughter would understand the gesture. And she did.
"Yes."
"Look, mommy." The girl in the middle held out her hand showing the small flower she had been holding since she was in the room with Gabrielle, she herself had collected it moments before when they were playing outside.
"Thank you, dear, it’s very beautiful."
Just as she had gotten used to the idea of Sarah's daughter calling her grandma, Eve had come up with the little girl who had just been born. She immediately remembered when Eve was born, sure, all babies looked alike, but this little girl was definitely like the baby she had only been able to hold for a short time. Looking at Maeve now, she hoped that this was the same image of her mother that she had never been able to see, she held on to that idea faithfully, she had to have this opportunity to know what her daughter was like.
Eli's followers spread to every part of the world, going as far as she and Gabrielle had gone in their travels. Eve had been with them for a time, ever since the conflict between the Amazons had been resolved.
Eve didn't tell her everything that happened and Xena didn't insist on it either, limiting herself to saying that she fulfilled her mission to spread the word, she and Gabrielle welcomed mother and daughter and at least they had their daughter back, this time with an addition. Xena feared that Livia's past, the whore of Rome, would interfere in Eve's life, that the same would happen to her and the two would be separated like when the gods' fate interfered in theirs. When she and Gabrielle were frozen for all that time, she was grateful that Gabrielle had been by her side, but she regretted the losses they had suffered.
Xena now thought of a time, a time when she faced Hercules on a day that her mind was already destined to change, that Xena had been thinking for a long time about leaving all that behind, she was no longer cruel and sadistic, but how could she start over if life only showed her the same path, always one worse than the other. She was back in the past, which was not so far from the time she was in and not far from the young Xena who left Amphipolis, perhaps the middle of it all, at the climax of her life.
She admitted that Lao Ma had entered her mind, the battle with Hercules had only reminded her of that, having lost her army had perhaps been a harsh way of making her change that path and in the end all she needed was to get out alive.
Then she remembers when Gabrielle first came into her path, when she was so painfully desperate that she believed there was only one way to end her suffocating pain, when she said goodbye to Argo and decided that her companion should ride on better roads, when she buried her hide, armor and weapons, so that no trace of her would be uncovered. She knew that leaving this world, leaving her recognized body at the mercy of anyone would be the stage for all kinds of atrocities that would be capable of doing with the vulnerability of her empty shell, she feared human cruelty under the guise of justice for the harm she had caused to everyone, she knew that in the end this would only be a free pass for them to do what they always did, and now with a reason. She only hoped that she would not be completely ruined, that at least she would leave a little dignity to rest next to her dear brother Lyceus.
Then she saw those eyes, even though they weren't looking directly at her.
She saw those eyes and for a few seconds she decided she had to live. She saved Gabrielle, that was what everyone would say, even herself when asked how they met, but the truth is that Gabrielle saved her. Not just at that moment, but when she stood in front of her, like her shield, when her mother and all those faces that had seen her born raised their hands to stone her. Even with the forgiveness of her mother and all of Amphipolis, her idea of leaving that world still remained, this time with the guarantee that she would have her brother. But then that chatty girl told her in the crypt that she was not alone, that was enough to get to her, but not enough to make her give up on the idea, it was hard to stay when everything hurt and there was no antidote. Gabrielle under the moonlight and illuminated by the flames of the fire ruined her, so she decided that life suited her well when she had someone to love.
She remembers telling Lao Ma that love was the first thing that started war and was the ruin of everything, however she wouldn't care if Gabrielle tied her to the kitchen chair, destroyed her throne and cut her hair, she would accept it in the name of love.
She no longer had her powerful army as she had grown accustomed to, with everyone following her orders or being cruelly eliminated from her path, but she was also not as alone as the day she was expelled from Amphipolis. She had Argo by her side and she had Gabrielle. So they made friends, many of them. She still has some of them with her, she rarely visits Hercules so they can share the pain of loss, Autolycus still does not feel too outdated for his robberies even if he does it to show that he is not yet obsolete. But she left many behind, Ephiny, Joxer, Iolaus, Amarice, she really feels sorry for them.
Before she felt it hit her, her nostalgia was broken by the smaller boy's laughter. His eyes shone as Eve stroked the smaller boy's hair, her daughter was very good with those two and she was proud of it. Looking at her only daughter's smile, she wondered if just like her, Eve often had nightmares about her past and felt like she didn't deserve those two or that life, if at some point when Lívia left, she wished she went with them, of course she did, it was her daughter. At least Solan didn't need all that torment.
"I think we should go." She tried to get their attention and noticed the lump in her throat. But she immediately composed herself. – You don't want to miss the solstice lights.
“ Yes, of course,” Eve agreed. The hallway wasn’t a good place to talk anyway.
Maeve hugged Xena, as she did whenever she could, Xena gave her a light pat on the back and watched her and Eve disappear as the door closed, with a soft noise indicating that they needed to fix it again. Her hands went to her waist and her gaze lowered to the only one left there.
"End of the hall." She announced.
The boy held her hand, even though the room at the end of the corridor was only a few meters away, those were the original three rooms of the inn and only they stayed there. She opened the door and let the boy enter the room first, and when he entered, she closed the door so that the two of them would have privacy.
That room had belonged to her as a child and to her brothers when the other rooms needed to be rented out, ensuring extra money for them. Now there was a large bed that served her and Gabrielle when they decided to stay in Amphipolis like during the Solstices, and right in the corner a small makeshift bed that in the end was only used to put her things since her son preferred to sleep in the middle between them.
"Gabriel." The woman called gently as she leaned against the wooden furniture. She watched as her youngest son rummaged under the small bed. "I hope you're not trying to run from the shower."
"I'm not, Mom."
Of course he wasn't. It was his sixth solstice and he finally understood better about it. She noticed when, on the way to Amphipolis, he bargained so he could get something, and it was always something that referred to someone else, like a beautiful wooden sword for Maeve. Xena was amused by their friendship and how much Gabriel tried to impose on Maeve that he was her uncle and she shouldn't stop him from playing with the other boys just because he was the youngest of them all. She noticed all his attempts and the plot between him and Eve to get one gift for her and the other for Gabrielle. She knew that her wife would get a scroll. She saw all the early mornings when he got up sneakily and wrote his first scroll alongside Eve and Sarah. Nothing was hidden from her, so her mission would be to keep this secret.
Xena never cared so much about these dates, not when she didn't have anyone to warm her up other than several drinks. But she loved it when she was a child, even with all the poverty her mother made sure that she, Toris and Lyceus had a beautiful day, that they could eat as much as they wanted without worrying that they might run out the next day, of the toys she bought with the money she earned by doubling her work, her father also did this for them, she remembered when all of Amphipolis left behind debt and enmity and made the night the brightest of all. When all of that was gone, on those cold nights she was always in bed with several men and women, she didn't even remember because she was so numb with drinks and drugs, after that it just became another day and she didn't even notice the day passing by. One day she and Gabrielle brought the bright night to those orphaned children, the smile they gave her was then that she realized that she wanted Gabrielle to give her the best smile like that and the only thing she accepted was that sheep, and since then she started to care about the solstice again because she had someone by her side.
"You better take a bath, soon your mother will show up to take a bath and she will be very angry when she realizes that you didn't do it, and of course, she will be angry with me." She said the last sentence quietly, but enough for Gabriel to hear and laugh.
After discarding his clothes where they were placed, the boy entered the tub of water that was waiting for him. Xena separated the clothes that the boy would wear for that night on the bed. Gabrielle had earned a good few dinars one night while telling stories and the day before they left that city, she made a good bargain by getting new clothes for them.
She walked over to him, and as soon as he saw her, he handed her the loofah. Xena began scrubbing behind her ears, she wasn't as gentle as Gabrielle, but since Eve had to learn to be a little subtle in the shower.
"Can you tell the story?" He didn't mention what he wanted specifically, but he was also Gabrielle's son and she knew exactly which story he liked best.
"What do you want me to say? You know the whole story and can tell it."
The boy shrugged with a beautiful smile at her, as if silently saying that even if he could tell her without forgetting a single detail, he would prefer her to hear it every time from her mothers.
"The goddess of love blessed us, and your mother brought you to me."
She didn't want to dwell too much on that past, even though it was beautiful. But she loved Gabrielle very much, but there was also someone else who loved Gabrielle very much and the most ironic thing was that it was the goddess of love herself. And Aphrodite loved Gabrielle so much that she gave them both a gift, she trusted to give it to both of them, because she knew that Xena loved Gabrielle as much as she did, no matter what, they both loved the same person and it was incredible how Gabrielle could be kind for nothing.
They walked the roads even as the moons for the arrival of their son approached, even if they insisted, Gabrielle would be too stubborn and this story of settling down always ended up going badly. Then one spring, under the brightest twilight they had witnessed and protected in a temple of Aphrodite, he was born.
Xena remembers that despite the beautiful day, she was anxious and protective of Gabrielle the whole time, because days ago she had been in pain and this was a sign that the birth would soon occur. Xena was terrified when they finally found shelter and it was precisely to the goddess that she gave it to her, it was as if Aphrodite wanted to tell her that she would always be keeping an eye on what she gave them. She was afraid and her hands were shaking, life was being too good to her and unconsciously she feared that the punishment would fall on another child of hers and Gabrielle would also suffer this consequence. She held him tightly against her chest when he was finally born and was afraid of dropping him to the ground, then as if something divine whispered in her ear, she calmed down and smiled at Gabrielle, handing her the baby, still under that divine touch, she was so silly that when Gabrielle asked her for a name, she could only think of the only thing she loved, so she called him Gabriel.
It might be a cliché from the stories, but Xena really prayed that everything he had from Gabrielle, even her name, and that nothing of hers could contaminate him, nothing of hers was good and splashed onto all her children, giving them tragic destinies. He had Gabrielle's nose, blond hair that now wet gave a darker shade like hers. His love for history, he loved to play swords with the village boys, but the bard's blood boiled, and she was grateful for that, she should have prayed more. However, Aphrodite was merciful and gave him something of hers.
He had the eyes of his granddaughter, the eyes of his children Eve and Solan, of his brothers Lyceus and Toris, he had her eyes. And in the end they all had the eyes of her mother.
For a while she was afraid that he would slip through her fingers like all the others, but he didn't, because he was magical. All her babies were magical. Eve was undeniably so, she had a life inside her after her death with Gabrielle at Caesar's crucifixion. What was Eve supposed to be? Was she really her daughter with Callisto? Reincarnation, as a way for the two of them to redeem themselves for the harm they caused each other? But it's okay not to understand that part. Eve came as the child who would bring the twilight of the gods, but she believes that this was her and Gabrielle's chance to redeem themselves for their losses. Yes, Eve was Gabrielle's too, even if she was initially overprotective when the two were together or made it clear to Gabrielle who Eve belonged to, like when she confronted her saying she would leave with Eve after the coronation. Honestly, she still held a certain fear and guilt for what happened to Solan. And all this for after all those fears dissipated and she actually let Gabrielle be the other mother Eve needed, for the two of them to lose 25 years of their lives, maybe it was a damn punishment for her selfishness. It was disappointing as a mother to see what Livia was, maybe that was when she really understood what her mother felt when she was Evil Xena, she wasn't disappointed in Eve, but with her failure and angry at what they turned her into, she had sworn that she would never allow her daughter to be stained by blood and then Livia spilled Joxer's and many others'.
That didn't matter anymore, she and Gabrielle got their daughter back, and this time she didn't act stupidly like in the past, not when Gabrielle gave her life in the past to keep that baby safe and even with all the resentment towards Joxer, she was still able to love Eve and fight for her life again against Varia. The Amazons were another reparation that Xena made later, even having Ephiny and everyone by her side, the promise that would keep them alive, Xena for a long time had disdain for them, not even respecting that for Gabrielle. Even with Varia in command, Eve accepted her position as Amazon princess and passed the same to Maeve.
Solan was also magical to her, even if he was born of natural causes. He was the first and the one who truly gave her the title of mother, even if she denied that right by giving him to Kaleipus. What could she say about him? She only saw him four times and two of them in death, first in Illusia, and the last time in the underworld, all because he stubbornly decided to go there instead of staying in the Elysian Fields, just so he would never forget her and have a chance of a reunion. If she hadn't been so desperate for Gabrielle after the fall into the lava, she would have paid attention when Hades offered her a chance to see Solan, she would have understood where he was. She really didn't have much to say about him, to Eve only that he was the one who gave her her name and to Gabriel that he would have been a good older brother, but at least he remained untouched by his mistake.
Solan, Eve and Gabriel, they weren't the only ones, at least not for her. She couldn't be unfair to Gabrielle by ignoring Hope, even though she had brought her suffering, she was Gabrielle's hope after everything was brutally taken away from her that day. She was afraid that something else would happen to Gabrielle because of her recklessness and it was so obvious what that child's nature was and so when she saw that dead man and Hope with her necklace, she couldn't hesitate. But that's not why she thought of Hope, but rather of that part that was Gabrielle's, that's the part that moved her. They got back together after Ilusia, but that didn't mean that everything went back to the way it was before, they were resentful of their losses and instinctively blamed each other for it. For a while, when things were getting better, it was very strange that Gabrielle wrote about everything and about herself, but never even about Hope, it was only said in whispers in the middle of sleep or in the middle of the delirium of a fever. She was the one who started that conversation and stopped Gabrielle from running, Xena had a great quality which is being a good listener, she truly listened to whoever told her, but one thing she was terrible at was talking, often preferring silence, but this time she had to speak, it was fair to her and it was fair to what she wanted Gabrielle to know, and that was how they really put this past into play and forgave each other without there being a loose end.
They were her best creation, if you will. And Hope, she regrets it a lot.
"Mom." Her son's voice brought her back to reality. She had been wandering a lot that day, maybe it was the solstice.
"Tell me, dear."
"I-- " Whatever he was about to say, he fell silent out of fear, but she would never let him fall silent.
"You can talk, dear, I'm listening."
"I heard people talking."
"About?"
The boy took his hand, removing the heavy bronze prosthesis, the thing that kept a scar hidden or, to be more precise, hid the hand he was missing from view. Gabriel ran his hand over his scarred wrist, aware that it was all that was left of what should have been his right hand.
"They always talk about Japa."
She went to the realm of the dead so that she could finally put an end to Yodoshi. She knew she had to do this ever since that monk came looking for her. She knew she wouldn't come back and would be so far away, so she allowed Gabrielle to go. They weren't at all merciful in exposing her naked, decapitated body, and she knew how cruel it was when Gabrielle recovered her head and had to turn her ruined body into ashes by herself. She was very sorry for that. She was also very sorry for knowing that she wouldn't come back to her and not telling her about it, giving her hope that she could come back. But those souls needed her to stay dead so that they would feel avenged. However, Gabrielle was too selfish to grant that request and threw her ashes into that water.
That's how her hand was gone, not because of the water, obviously, but because Gabrielle ripped it off. Even if she hadn't used her hand directly to reap them with her sword, those souls understood it as a way to say that the hand that wielded the sword and took the lives of many would no longer do so. There was a symbolism in all of that, the loss of the hand that wielded the sword and brought death, even though she was good with both hands, and it was done by her soulmate. Today Xena understands that that speech about souls needing to be avenged was foolishness when her journey with Gabrielle was all about redemption for her crimes, she would never do that again, never give her life for something like that again.
“ You’re going to hear all kinds of stories about me, very different from what your mother tells you.” Maybe it was shame that was making her eyes fall and never focus on that child’s face, she couldn’t stand it and so she just looked at her son’s hand holding her wrist. She didn’t know how to continue that, Gabrielle was good with words. “ When you’re older and want to know the truth, I’ll tell you, okay?”
He just nodded in agreement, letting go of her to go back to picking up his toys that he had dipped into the water a few minutes ago.
" It’s okay. You know, the boys on the other side said I was a coward for never wanting to play with swords, but you and mommy taught me to use one just in case. They just say what they think, but you know what you see."
Was that his way of reassuring her about what people were saying about her terrible past? Xena laughed silently at that. Gabriel had a great talent, after all he was their son, but that didn't mean everything was accepted in good taste.
The two agreed on everything about Gabriel's upbringing, even though they had some different points of view, they still managed to reconcile everything for a good upbringing. But one thing that Xena made very clear that she was not open to discussion was regarding the use of swords or any weapon, in no way did she want him to have contact with that. She failed Eve when she promised that she would do everything so that her daughter would never be stained with blood, she was having a new chance. A truth that Xena tried to hide about the past and that embarrassed her, was the fact that Lyceus' death hurt more because she was the one who encouraged him to pick up the sword, his death had a greater weight because it was all hers. She saw that other life, Toris would be the cowardly runaway he always was, his mother would have died, but without any hatred for her and Lyceus would be with her. That vision of the world was very different from what she actually followed and maybe it wouldn't last forever, but it was too cruel to think that she would never be able to consider a peaceful life or provide that for the people she loves, the fact is that she does what she does, because no one else would. She knew that as soon as Gabriel raised a sword like Lyceus, Solan, Eve, Gabrielle and herself, he would become a target, and there was no way she wanted that for her son's life and that was it. She still remembers all the pain from the last time, she wreaked havoc on the world and a better version of herself was in it.
For Gabrielle, that thought would make no sense at all. She feared for her life because he was the son of who he was. She feared even more for the world they lived in. What if he got into danger when they weren't there? Surely he would wait for them to protect him. What if they took a long time and he had to wait longer? What if he had to wait that long? Eve waited for them, and they took 25 years. What if he was alone waiting for them for that long and someone actually hurt him? She would never forgive herself for that. Gabrielle was good at defending herself, but everything had a beginning and if Xena hadn't been there, she wouldn't know what would have become of her, Lila and the women of the village. That was her reasoning. She wanted Gabriel to trust that they would protect him, but first he had to trust in himself that he would protect himself, that he wouldn't perish if they took a long time.
If Xena wasn't open to conversation, she wouldn't risk Gabriel's life. When he became good enough to stand without stumbling, secretly while Xena had her lonely moments, Gabrielle took advantage of the fact that it was just the two of them and taught him what he needed to learn. When Xena decided to shorten her walk one season when they were staying at her family's old farm because of the weather, she saw how well her son handled that small staff shaped for someone that size. She just gave Gabrielle a disappointed look and just like she did with Eve one day, she picked Gabriel up and left without saying a word.
Xena was stubborn when it came to changing her point of view, although patient, Gabrielle was also irritated and wanted to remind her that their opinions were important, and so a fight continued throughout the days they stayed there, two or three brief arguments were also part of that stay. Xena was scared, Gabrielle too, their time in that beautiful place should not end that way, but they always found a way and adjusted, so the last night on that farm was with the three of them lying in the open air as they did on the road and with Xena's promise that she would teach him to defend himself and Gabrielle's that she would help her keep him off the path they had embarked on. Xena was still learning about life and Gabrielle was willing to teach her.
"Okay, you’re not good with stories. How about singing?"
"Gabriel, you're already all wrinkled in this water." She wasn't good at telling stories, what would someone as silent as her have to say? At least she has lots of children to sing to.
Xena hummed, somewhat reluctantly, as she removed the traces of product from his hair; in any case, it was time for his bath to be finished. She was so focused on her task that she didn't even notice when the heavy door opened. If Gabrielle hadn't given in to sleep so much, the door opening at night would have given away Gabriel's escapes to produce parchment. In any case, she only became aware of her wife's presence when she heard her voice.
" What is this old runt doing in our room?" She didn't even need to guess that they had been there longer than they needed to, as every bath time was a time-consuming bargain.
Xena turned to find Gabrielle with her back to them as she shuffled through her things on the bed. She gave a small smile at the teasing.
"It's not an old man, it's me! I'm just a big boy, not an old man."
"It's not what's showing with this wrinkled hand." Xena declared, already taking him out of the water that was now so cold.
Gabriel said nothing other than looking at his fingers and noticing how wrinkled they were from the water, his reaction after that was to hide them behind his back, as if there was no longer any evidence. Xena had taken care of the bath, now Gabrielle intervened to help him get dressed. Sometimes Xena had to take care of small incidents wherever they went, so Gabrielle was responsible for her son, sometimes Gabrielle had to tell stories which earned good money, and then it was Xena who had to take care of him.
They have traveled the world and are still on the road. When Gabrielle had her first horse and talked about now being a family of four, before all the revelations about her divine pregnancy, this was something she imagined for her life when she accepted that divine child. She was scared, but this time everything would be different because she would have Gabrielle by her side, well, now she realizes that her vision of life was not so wrong.
"Are you okay?" Gabrielle's hand on her shoulder revealed how close she was and how out of it.
"Of course."
Years ago, when Xena awoke from her 25-year hibernation, along with Gabrielle and Eve, the conditions in Amphipolis and especially her mother's tavern had left her disturbed. She now stood before a huge tree where her mother had tragically been placed and burned, accusing her of witchcraft. Indirectly, she was still causing death. Perhaps she is that, perhaps she is death and what lies at the end of the road.
Everyone was so distracted that her presence had not even been noticed by that crowd euphoric about the solstice, which in her glory days all those people would have been kneeling in fear for the conqueror, perhaps now her presence did not matter at all because she was so far from that path that all that was left for her was failure, but if she stopped thinking so much, she would just accept that they were fine with her being there.
With a light sigh, which caused a mist to come out of her lips due to the cold weather in the place, she allowed herself to walk away from that crowd, sitting down.
Xena bitterly remembers when Herodotus poured all his contempt on her when he said that warriors, that people like her, did not live long to reach an advanced age, and she just smiled when she said that she was counting on it, she would not be shaken by it, she who already longed for a short life. Here she was, soon she would be the age her mother had been when she saw her for the last time, not soon, that would be too much of an exaggeration on her part, but a few summers it would come true.
The children's laughter and the impressed voices of the residents reached her ears. Everyone was really excited and helped out that night, even her doing the heavy work that no one was ready to do. With the cold of that night, a huge bonfire, obviously far from where the tree was, warmed the place, but some breezes of air reached her body, making her shiver.
"Hello, Xena." Two girls about Aayla and Maeve's age greeted her with small giggles.
She just smiled, drawing more laughter from the girls who ran to the others. Gabrielle always told her to get used to her fame among the children, especially the girls who were inspired to lift a sword like her. She often rolled her eyes, hoping they would change their minds about doing everything she did. Xena had not been a good example of morality since she was 11. The children of the village, a reasonable amount when they got together, were together and four people stood out to her in that group standing next to the small wooden stage built for the night. Two were even more prominent to her, her son who held the scroll and his brother, Toris, crouched down to his height.
Well, things with Toris weren't as bad as they were in their last encounter, this was due to the fact that Gabrielle made her brother shut up when he tried to offend her and blame her for Cyrene's death and everything bad that happened in his life, as if she was also to blame for his cowardice in running away. Gabrielle didn't spare any words and he had none to say after he had reached the shame of his actions.
Xena didn't owe him an apology, but she thought she did, one day she wrote him a letter that brought her brother to tears, Toris was much older than their mother had ever been and there was no need for any more disagreements, he was the one who had taken over the management of Cyrene's inn and she had obviously helped to set everything up.
" I still haven't found an end to that story," Gabrielle whispered so that only Xena could hear.
She was taken by surprise when she heard the voice close to her ear, she didn't even notice when Gabrielle arrived, being oblivious to her thoughts, as she could feel Gabrielle wherever she was.
"You can come up with something that you know will get them excited."
"Gabriel might not be satisfied." He was the biggest fan of his stories, which made him very careful when it came to evaluating.
"What can I do, he’s my son."
Gabrielle had her head resting on Xena's shoulder, which made it easy for her to be kissed by Xena's lips, who now had an arm around her and keeping their bodies together warm from the cold. It wasn't long before the group of children dispersed, Maeve and Aayla ran over to them, the first sitting on Gabrielle's lap and the second with Xena, she now had many people to warm them up when Eve joined her and Sarah sat next to Gabrielle. Looking back at the stage, she saw Lila help Gabriel up onto it, as well as seeing her whisper in his ear probably assuring him that she would be close if he needed her. Her eyes searched for her family and as soon as she saw them, it was noticeable how her insecurity disappeared and her shoulders felt lighter.
This was where Xena ended her whirlwind of thoughts about her entire confusing story. But she was calm about it, because she knew that Gabrielle would transform these troubled thoughts into a beautiful scroll, perhaps Gabrielle would be pleased to discover that the blue-caped warrior was able to end the dragon's curse and that there was no more destruction in her path.