Work Text:
They’re in Manchester when Brendon has the idea. He can’t sleep. Months of frustration and restless thoughts and his mind can’t seem to stop. But finally something clicks into place and suddenly he’s staring at the ceiling and knows that he needs a visual reminder of what used to be. Maybe then he’ll be able to accept. To move on.
His first instinct is to tell someone because he’s shit at keeping things to himself but then he realizes that he doesn’t want to be laughed at right now, which is what the guys would do if he came to them with this idea in the middle of the night. Instead he keeps turning it over in his head. This is possibly the best idea he’s ever had.
He knows what he needs and silently hums the melody even though the lyrics still make him cry.
They’re in Boston when he sends Gerard Way a text because he wants words but he also wants art and he needs it to be special. He hasn’t talked to the guy in ages, he can’t even remember the last time, but he knows Gerard isn’t going to leave him hanging. The guy has a huge heart and is some kind of crazy genius that is different from Pete’s kind of crazy genius. Brendon has total faith in him.
Gerard calls him back exactly four minutes later and wants to know details. They both end up getting yelled at by their band members because they both have to sing tonight and almost talked themselves hoarse. Brendon feels bad for a total of ten seconds, then he gets stupidly excited.
He thinks that the show they play that night is one of the best they’ve ever done.
They’re in New York when he gets Gerard’s first draft and for a while the only thing he can do is silently stare at it. Then he shows it to Spencer because Spencer is the only one who knows so far. Brendon thinks he might prefer Gerard’s kind of crazy genius to Pete’s kind of crazy genius. The guy totally gets it. Brendon tells Zack he’s in love with Gerard Way and gets smacked on the head for that. Zack totally doesn’t get it. But then again Zack doesn’t know about Brendon’s plan, either.
He only told Spencer because he couldn’t help it. He’s too excited about it and Spencer noticed. Of course he did, because he’s fucking psychic. Obviously Spencer wasn’t thrilled about it but after a while he accepted that he couldn’t talk Brendon out of it. He didn’t even tell anyone else, and Brendon loves him for that.
Brendon still tries to not talk to Spencer about it too much though because he can see that Spencer thinks it’s a bad idea. Brendon doesn’t care.
They’re in Chicago when he calls Pete because he knows for a fact that Pete is coming to the show tonight and that he probably still knows the best tattoo artists from back when he lived here instead of being burnt by the hot Californian sun. Except Pete doesn’t get sunburned.
Brendon counted on Pete’s awesome craziness and isn’t disappointed. They only have a time frame of maybe six hours and Brendon is going to miss soundcheck, but he doesn’t give a fuck. Because Pete is already there when their bus comes to a stop next to the venue and Brendon is barely out in the warm air when he’s already being dragged to the street.
By the time they get to the studio they’re both giggling like teenagers but the people there don’t seem to care. They also don’t seem to have any problems understanding Brendon’s rambled explanation and Gerard’s sketch when he hands it to the artist.
The vaguely familiar sting of the needle on his skin is maybe the best thing he’s ever felt. It’s a good kind of pain.
Pete takes pictures and sends one of them to Gerard because Brendon promised to show him the result of his work. Brendon makes Pete swear to not use the photos as blackmailing material and Pete almost throws his phone at Brendon’s head.
He makes a huge effort to not take his shirt off on stage that night because he doesn’t want the world to see yet. It’s his secret. Sort of. Just for this one night.
Of course the other guys find out right after they get off stage, because Zack is furious about Brendon being late and Spencer can’t keep his mouth shut anymore, but Brendon can’t blame him.
They’re in Vegas when Ian bullies him into tweeting a picture of his fresh ink. Brendon thinks the irony is awesome so in a fit of post-show high he does it. He regrets it a total of thirty seconds later but it’s too late to take it back. Someone would have snatched a pic eventually, anyway.
The Internet explodes and Brendon shuts off his phone for two days. He realizes that he doesn’t want to move on. He wants to go back and nothing is going to change that.
He sends Gerard an overenthusiastic text and thanks him. Frank Iero answers from Gerard’s phone and tells Brendon that he’s an idiot.
He feels raw inside and out and a lot different from what he expected this would give him. It’s not necessarily bad though.
They’re in LA when Ryan calls him. Brendon stays silent through the entire twenty minutes of yelling and just gingerly holds a hand on the tattoo the whole time. He knows it was worth it.
Ryan might be angry about his words being eternalized on Brendon’s skin but at least he heard his voice again. It’s not all that Brendon wanted but it’s a start.
He actually passes out on the couch that night with his head on Dallon’s lap but none of the guys complain. They seem to be happy that he actually sleeps through the night. He dreams of calloused fingers tracing the rainclouds and lines on his chest.
They’re in Seattle when the dream becomes reality. His headache finally melts.