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There was a wanderer who found his way to God Or maybe it was Lucifer under some false facade
Evan was so tired.
The voices, the shadow, had promised him comfort. He hadn’t had that in a while.
Not since… before anything that he remembers.
Broken down and tattered
Compound fractures in his sleeves
Shoe soles nailed together
But he never seemed to bleed
Evan kept walking his bag of socks and underwear hitting his leg. Trying to remember where to go next if there was another empty campground or if he needed to find a dumpster. He hoped something dry.
With one desperate push
His poor diaphragm forced out a plea
He had just wanted to sleep, his feet aching for relieve
He said: One home burned down, one fell apart
He could still hear his parents screams, how the voices in his head were overjoyed by the blood, Evan couldn't get the taste of burnt flesh out of his mouth for weeks.
One met a flood, and one was nothing from the start
All the foster houses, the screaming of kids when the viper came out of his blood.
The group who promised him safety, protection all to leave him when it got to much, all to leave him hurt.
Weapons build against me, well they all seem to fail
But weapons built against my home
They always will prevail
Would he be alone forever? Why can’t they just let him go?
So leave me my liver and leave me my skin
Leave me the way all those other homes did
But leave me a soul, only by definition
Is his body even his? His soul already full of too many people, his mind filled to the brim with voices not of his own. He can still control his body, for now.
His bones ache with the voices moving around his body, invading his thoughts unable to rest.
My neurons are snapping like cat gut strings
A symphony of agony
I don't wanna hear and I don't wanna sing
I don't wanna breathe incompletely
I am mourning I am morning
So break me anew
Evan has had so many injuries, the poorly healed broken bones in arm still ache when he punched that guy in the gas station parking lot.
Most don't even give him a glance when he was walking in the town earlier, the only one was a little girl who only pointed and stared.
Well, I'll find every sick fuck I can
And I'll make them a deal
Evan has made too many deals, why did he make them a deal.
With no conscience, I'll make money and I'll lie and cheat and steal
How many times had Evan stolen, how much blood is on hands.
And that money won't bring happiness
But let me ask what does
Evan feels the screenless phone in his back pocket and turns his pockets out looking for any scrap of food he has left.
'Cause I've found a place, and those sick fucks
Well, they turned it to dust
What if there is no where for him? Damn, another cabin seemingly filled with people, he has to keep going.
And if I can't have justice I might as well join the unjust
People hurt kids all the time all over the world, didn’t Evan know that
The peoples he's hurt, not through his weirdness, but the punches Evan himself have thrown they were justified...
Evan himself wasn't bad, right?
The floorboards smelled like lemonade
Prepared for our arrival
The air was clean and crisp Just like a tonic for survival
Some people seemed so nice, only to be the cruelest.
He still remembers the white picket fenced foster home and the cold dark basement. He wakes up with the memories of the basement flooding with water unable to get out of the locked door last night. He just needs to find somewhere dry tonight.
Well, I wrote my name in charcoal
On the bathhouse where we cried
So now I'm broken fundamentally
And nobody gets why
Evan finally stops for the night, finally finding an empty cabin. He sleeps convinced that this will be his life forever, as an owl slowly starts its flight to his location. He doesn't know what journey he will embark on tomorrow.
Turns out that the God he found was just a little girl
Sitting on a swingset Just a little girl
She said "Mister, you look tired I will let you go, but first I think that what you're asking for
It just might make things worse"
Friends, best friends. A partner.
A home. Hopefully Evan doesn't mess this up too. But as he now turns to go to bed, in a dry, warm bunk bed hearing Whitney snoring above him with K and Sam in the bunk next to him, he feels hopeful that this home wouldn't leave him.