Chapter Text
Dr. Light: Roll, Dr. Wily is under attack by the evil forces of Ra Moon. I'm going to the Amazon to aid him.
Roll: But Doctor, what if something happens to you?
Dr. Light: I'll take Rock to protect me. If you don't hear from us in a month, send Forte.
Roll: Kalinka!
Kalinka: Don't worry, Roll. This Triforce of Wisdom-adjacent gizmo predicts your father will safely return.
Dr. Light: Enough; my ship sails in the morning.
*bell rings*
Dr. Light: I wonder what's for dinner...
Forte: Oh, boy! I'm so hungry, I could eat an Octorock!
One month later
Roll: *sigh* A whole month gone, and still no word.
Kalinka: I'm certain he's alright.
Forte: Yeah: That old Ra Moon's no match for Rock!
Roll: Forte, go to the Amazon and find my father.
Forte: Great! I can't wait to bomb some Dodongos!
Later still
Roll: Wake up, Kalinka. We're going to the Amazon.
Kalinka: *yawn* alright, dear; I'll get the Triforce of Wisdom-adjacent gizmo.
Insert Roll and Kalinka on a flying machine undoubtedly made by Dr. Cossack
Gemini Man: 'course I'm on your side, but I still have to sell the stuff. Just... pick what you want; I'll handle the bolts.
*not enough money*
Gemini Man: Sorry, Jet Girl; not enough bolts. You'll have to wipe out a few more Sniper Joes to get that.
Dr. Lalinde: Everyone ran when the Mecha Dragon came, but monsters know better than bothering me. Here's a shroud that scares the wraps off "Gibdo".
Dazzle Woman: Hello, deary! Oh, just a minute.
*flies offscreen, door opens, floats back onscreen*
Dazzle Woman: Isn't it lovely? Bring me some fairy dust and I'll make it a magic cloak!
Vesper Woman: Those darn Mettaurs have eaten everything. I'd give anything for a Swallown egg!
Pop Woman: Nice jump over the Robit pit! Here, have a drink!
Roll: Thanks. *drinks an E-Tank*
Pop Woman: Hey, there's a fisherman trapped in the fish head!
Roll: Really?
Bubble Man: Thanks, you saved me! That's the last time I'm going fishing! See you in Sakado!
Bubble Man: Look; I got a new job. Hey, bring a heat crystal. I'll fix up your sword!
Quick Man, clearly enjoying himself: For the dead shall rise, and the living shall be their slaves!
*organ riff*
Quick Man: She must be stopped!
Quick Man, not taking it seriously: The SHROUD! nO, iT's COLD! aAaAaAaAa!
Vesper Woman: *breaks egg into pan* This'll make a great omelette! Here!
Roll:*flute note* Thanks!
Heat Man: Hmmm, aren't you a mite puny to go up against Ra Moon?
Roll: I'll be alright.
Heat Man: That's the spirit! Bring some Hanyu spore if you want a bit more punch!
Heat Man: You're back, now give me your glove!
Roll: Hey!
Heat Man: Hee hee hee, don't worry. Here!
Roll: A power glove, great!
Enker, having a hard time not laughing: wE hAvE fRoZeN tHe FoUnTaIn Of LiFe!
Punk, in total mockery: A l l ThAt WaS gOoD wE hAvE mAdE e v i l
Ballade: Let's bring the darkness down.
Enker: aLl OuR lOvElY eViL rUiNeD NoOoOo! aAaAaAcK!
Sayori: We're free!
Monika: You saved us!
Sayori: Here's a life heart!
Monika: And some fairy dust.
Sayori and Monika in unison: Have some water of life!
Dazzle Woman: Oh, good. *sprinkles angel-i mean fairy dust on a pink blanket* There. Now you can sneak up and give the monster a good shot before he sees you.
Disco: Greetings, Jet Girl. Do you have any Swallown feathers?
(Roll displays feather as confirmation)
Disco: Good, then let us make a cape from your shroud. Here, I must be off.
Kalinka: Oh my, it looks like everyone's been taken to Tykogi Tower!
Wood Man: This is illegal, you know.
Crash Man: My cakes will burn!
Crash Man: Come, hurry! It's awful! Wood Man has been chained in the tower! Oh, my cakes! Come see me in Sakado!
Knight Man, really playing into his role: You DARE defy me?! You will DIE!
*Knight man gets rekt*
Needle Man: He's dead...
Flash Man: Let's get out of here.
Wood Man: Oh, the indignity! Please, Miss Light, would you kindly cut the chains that bind me!
(Roll cuts the chains, Wood Man falls to the ground)
Wood Man: Ouch! Thank you, Jet Girl. I managed to conceal this magic lantern. I hope it can be of use!
Crash Man: Boy, a lot of my brothers could eat ten of these!
Roll: Ha, at least.
Crash Man: Ha, The Swallowns will die for them.
Bubble Man: Let's see... *pushes the crystal into the saber* That ought to do it! *tests sword* Works pretty well!
Roll: Do you see anything?
Kalinka: Yes.. Oh my! Your father has been captured!
Roll: What about Forte?
Kalinka: He's been in a terrible fight! I can't tell what happened!
Kalinka: Oh,dear! Top Man has captured Tempo!
Tempo: I'm not afraid of you! (She thinks Top Man is a 🤡)
Top Man: *casts spell* Then wait here until you are!
Top Man: Not the disintegration spell! NOOOOOO!
Tempo: Forte told me about you.
Roll: You know Forte?
Tempo: Sure. He gave me his canteen for a kiss.
Roll: You kissed him?!
Tempo: Here; it's empty anyway.
Kalinka, who finds the line delivery funny here: lOoK hOw YoUr FaThEr WaS cApTuReD!
Ra Moon: YOU are my PRISONER.
Mega Man: Hey!
Ra Moon: SILENCE! Ra Thor, keep the runt in chains!
Ra Thor: Yes, master.
Kalinka, who really can't take this scene seriously: rA tHoR iS dAnGeRoUs!1
Ra Thor: Ready? Am I here, or here, or here? *shoots a Met* hahahaha, next.
Ra Thor: yOu'Ve KiLlEd MeEeE!
Roll: Good.
Rock: Dr. Wily betrayed us!
Roll: I know.
Rock: Push in this stone to enter the chamber Wily found.
Roll: Thanks.
Dr. Wily: Don't hurt me, Jet Girl! I'll teach you the secret way into the Temple of the Moon.
Roll: You'd better talk quickly.
Dr. Wily: Go all the way left and move the rock. This key opens the gate!
Rock: I'll make sure he doesn't get away!
Disco: This light will penetrate the dark around Ra Moon, but only the blade can defeat it. Good luck.
Kalinka: Oh, dear; Ra Devil is guarding the shrine!
New Yellow Devil: Whatever I see... I shall destroy. (blows up some Mets)
(New Yellow Devil blows up)
Roll, resheathing her Jet Saber: Got him!
Kalinka: It's too dark to see Ra Moon, but this gizmo says: "you can only win by falling!" I wonder what that means...
Ra Moon: You DARE bring light to my lair?! You must DIE!! *zaps Roll*
Ra Moon: Aaaaah, the sword! NOOOO!! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!
(Roll uses a mystical ancient blue beam saber or something to cut Ra Moon's wires, Ra Moon falls to the ground and explodes)
Roll: Doctor!
Dr. Light: You've saved me!
Rock: Here he is, officers!
Dr. Wily: Please, Thomas, have mercy!
Blues: After you've scrubbed all the floors in Symphony City, then we can talk about mercy! You're coming with us!
Policeman: After you, Proto Man.
Roll: I wonder what happened to Forte...
Piano: Oh, he was a bore anyway.
Tempo: Stop looking at yourself. *yeets the mirror*
Forte: What happened?
Roll: Nothing, Forte. We were just about to have a party.
Forte: Great!
Dr. Light and Roll laugh the stress and exhaustion away.
The end. :)