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“Stupid mazes! Mazes are for stupid plumbers and smart-aleck hedgehogs to get lost and waste time in. Not for manly studs like me!”
King Bowser punched through yet another counterfeit wall in righteous anger. Here he was - in some mysterious new world chock full of powerful devices for a mad overlord like him to use to conquer the universe and right now he’s wasting his time punching through walls that weren’t actually walls and were more like entrances blocked off out of spite. ‘Minus Zone’? More like... MINUS MOVEMENT ‘CUZ YOU CAN’T MOVE ZONE.”
“This labyrinth continues to confound and perplex. Even for a planet as mysterious as our own, something like this can’t possibly exist. It’s too intricate, yet unlinked to any known ancient civilization. Too modern, yet too ancient. No matter! It’s only a matter of time before I crack its secrets and unleash the powers present in this place!”
“...Come on, Eggy. Don’t tell me you’re making one of those ‘audio log’ thingamajigs again. Just get a diary like everyone else.”
Dr. Eggman frowned at his ally. Clearly spoken like a man who did not make a single memo in his life. The knowledge of this strange interdimensional space was more than necessary if either of them wanted to make use of it. He suspected that Bowser would have said the same of his ring research, when it was that very research that was responsible for drawing them (and some pesky others who have stolen the fruits of his labor -those lower minds) into this space to begin with.
“I bet you’re stewing over me mocking you again, Eggnik.”
HRGH! That man does not respect the scientific method! Not one bit!
“Father.”
Dr. Eggman was pulled out of his musings by a voice that had grown familiar. He opened up his comms channel.
“Yes? What is it? Have you found something?” The doctor demanded.
“I have located the exit for the labyrinth you are currently in. The coordinates and pathing have been downloaded to the Eggwalker.”
“Ho-ho-ho! Excellent! We’ll be back in business in no time. But have you caught any whiff of the Chaos Emeralds?”
“Not yet. The energies of this space make it hard to detect them. Especially with all of the Dark Rings that are in the area.”
“Dark Rings? So whoever stole my data is already at the recreation phase.” Eggman growled. Whoever thought that they could get such lucrative results off of his findings will pay dearly. “You and Metal focus on finding whoever’s doing this! I want those results the instant you figure it out!”
“Yes, father.”
The Eggwalker took off on the path forward. Bowser, however, stood gawking at the egg-shaped scientist until the craft came to a halt. “Well? Weren’t you the one whining about the exit?”
“What was that thing you were just talking to?”
“Oh! That’s Sage! One of many many creations, but my finest by far! She’s my personal digital assistant, designed specifically to protect me!”
“She called you ‘father’.”
“Yes.”
“That means Dad!”
“Thank you for your input. You are truly putting your purported IQ of 9800 to good use. But yes. Sage is my daughter.” Bowser looked surprised for a moment before arching an eyebrow at Eggman. “Don’t give me that look!”
“No offense, Eggy, but uh… you don’t strike me as the parent type.”
“That’s rich coming from the warmongering oaf who engineers his own defeats.”
“I am a king! I need to oversee an entire army! It’s about ensuring that my boy learns all of the qualities of being a good king!” Bowser wrung his hands in an explanatory matter. “You seem to love your toys more than actually being a people’s person. Metalhead’s the only one you seem to care that much about. Most of them don’t even talk.”
“My robots don’t need to talk. They need to follow my orders.” Eggman bellowed before taking a smirk. “And besides, I don’t need to lie to my daughter.”
Bowser’s anger immediately flared up. Veins throbbed in both his head and his eyes.
“What are you implying Eggnik?”
“I’m implying that you and the Mushroom Kingdom have some interesting backdoors into your security. But of course, your son isn’t too bothered sharing some details with dear ‘Mr. Eggman’ either.” Eggman gave Bowser that particular happy-go-lucky grin that he likes to use. “Did you know that he still doesn’t believe that you’re truly evil? That your talk of being ‘the final boss’ is all a game?”
Bowser looked about ready to erupt, but Eggman held up a hand to stop him.
“Now come! We’re getting sidetracked. The sooner we find our way through this maze, the sooner we can learn where we are. And the sooner we learn where we are, the sooner we can find the Chaos Emeralds and anything else of value down here.” Eggman pointed out before placing his goggles back down. “We can discuss the merits of my being a superior parent later.”
The Eggwalker waltzed off. Bowser growled angrily, but allowed the conversation to drop.
“Stinkin’ Egghead. What does he know!? I’m an excellent parent! For starters, I know for a fact that Junior’s back at the castle now, waitin’ for dear old dad to come back stronger than ever!” With that thought, Bowser followed.
Elsewhere in the labyrinth, Bowser Jr. looked at his trusty dusty device as it examined the ring that he found.
“Either this thing’s busted, or it doesn't know what that thing is.” Junior muttered as the device came up negative in terms of knowledge. He switched it over to the power scanner and got a different story, however. “Woah! This thing is super-juiced! Almost like, what did Dad call ‘em? A Chaos Emerald-yeah!. Hehehehe! Wait’ll Mario gets a load a this!”
The Koopa prince walked over and grabbed the crystalline ring. Just touching it filled him with more energy than candy and soda! At the same time!
As Junior was admiring his new treasure, his remote suddenly made a noise. He stared at it curiously, his newest trinket forced back to the back of his mind. The device was writing out text on its lower screen:
THAT IS A CHAOS RING.
IT IS A CRYSTALIZED MANIFESTATION OF A SOURCE OF CHAOS ENERGY.
THE LIKIEST PROBABILITY IS AN EMERALD ALTAR.
“Crystalized CHAOS energy?!” Bowser Jr. stared at the ring with unrestrained giddiness. “You mean I’m practically holding one of the emeralds right now?!”
IT IS FAR WEAKER THAN A NORMAL CHAOS EMERALD.
BUT YES. TECHNICALLY SPEAKING YOU NOW POSSESS CHAOS POWER.
“You mean it’s not as good as an actual emerald? Dang it! …Can I at least teleport and do cool stuff?”
TO SOME DEGREE, YES.
“Fine. This’ll do until I can get my hands on a REAL emerald! Maybe even one of the Super Emeralds people are always talkin’ about.” Junior’s mind wandered to all of the cool stunts and parkour he’d seen in the TV shows that he loved to watch or the video games that he loved to play. The possibility that he’d be able to do that stuff too lit a fire in the young Koopa’s heart.
“Wait right where you are, Chaos Emeralds! Bowser Jr. will soon be there to claim you, in the name of Koopas everywhere!”
I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER A PROPOSITION.
“Eh? You still there? What do you mean?”
I WOULD LIKE TO JOIN FORCES WITH YOU.
TOGETHER, THE POSSIBILITY OF UNLOCKING THE SECRETS OF THIS LABYRINTH WILL INCREASE DRAMATICALLY.
“Oh, really? Who are you anyway? Why should I work with you?”
OUR GOALS ARE IN ALIGNMENT. FATHER HAS REQUESTED THAT I CREATE A MAP OF THE ENVIRONMENT. THE SIZE OF THE AREA MAKES SUCH A TASK DIFFICULT IF I WERE TO RELY ON FATHER’S SYSTEMS ALONE. IN RETURN, I SHALL AID YOU IN LOCATING A CHAOS EMERALD.
“Wait, ‘Father’? That means ‘Dad’! You work for your pop, too?”
CORRECT. MY CONTACTING YOU WAS NOT CIRCUMSTANCE. YOUR FATHER, KING BOWSER, IS WORKING ALONGSIDE MY FATHER. YOUR ABSENCE WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOU ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE HERE.
“Wha?! How’d you know about-... Fine. Dad thinks I’m back home. But no way am I missing out on a treasure hunt! There could be booby traps and treasure!”
WHICH IS WHY I PROPOSE AN ALLIANCE. I CAN TRACK YOUR FATHER AND AID YOU IN ESCAPING DETECTION.
“So you’ll help me give Dad the run around and all you want me to do is do what I’d be doing anyway?” Bowser Jr. thought over the proposal for a brief moment before smirking. “All right! I can work with that. But I call first dibs on any treasure we find!”
VERY WELL.
A bunch of zeroes and ones flashed on screen after that last comment before abruptly blanking.
MY APOLOGIES. IT IS A HABIT I HAVE PICKED UP FROM FATHER.
“Wait a minute! You said your dad was working with my dad! But Dad is working with Mr. Eggman… Mr. Robot! Is that you?!
IF YOU ARE REFERRING TO METAL SONIC, THEN I AM NOT HIM. I AM… HIS SISTER.
“Metal Sonic’s sister? What the heck do you mean by that?”
I SHALL EXPLAIN SOON. FOR NOW, MY NAME IS SAGE.
“Sage? That’s a weird name. Though I guess if Mr. Eggman named you…” Bowser Jr. whistled and hopped into his trusty Junior Clown Car. “Alright, Sagey! You lead me to the emeralds and I’ll snatch ‘em up! I’m an expert at sneaking around!”
The Junior Clown Car took off further into the mysterious realm, its driver giggling with excitement…