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pre-fic notes: so i like to think he got to camp the summer before percy did, this may or may not have been so I could showcase where he was the whole time when I cant really think of how his life outside camp would be.
Will had been told a lot of times over his life that he would do great things, his teachers said he was bright, and his mama and his grandparents said so many times that they were proud of him. But he didn't feel proud of himself.
he definitely struggles with low self worth, my boy was always a high achiever, the perfect epitome of neurodivergent chronically burnt out gifted kid. now i think about how i wrote him, there may also be a little eldest daughter syndrome in here too, in how he's the one guy in charge of a lot of things he shouldn't be in charge of
.-.
When he first crossed the border into camp, he had been barely 9 years old and fucking terrified. His mama had dropped him off at that big tree, said she loved him, and then just walked back down the road.
“I’m so sorry, baby, but you’ll be safe here. I promise.” She had said before driving away, leaving him standing beside the tall tree at the camp's border. To say he cried was an understatement.
It took him three weeks to get claimed by his dad, it took three weeks before his powers came up in full swing, or what they thought was full swing at the time. Even at 9 years old, his skill rivalled that of Christina, who at 17 had the most experience of anyone bar Chiron, and ran the infirmary as if she was an army general.
hes always has the natural skill for healing, even when he was little. but it took a few more years for the plague powers to really show up in noticeable swing, i like to think they definitly were there when he was younger but it wasnt picked up on because, well, a random kid getting upset and making another kid sick? thats impossible. (the plague powers are prob gonna get explored more in another series part that in working on)
.-.
The summer after Will first came to camp, they had the first storm to enter the camp’s borders in nearly 4 years, and before that, 20. That storm meant something big was happening, and despite being his siblings buzzing with excitement, Will was filled with nothing but dread. He was 10 years old when Percy Jackson stumbled down to hill to the big house, soaking wet and calling for his mom, Grover the satyr, and just anyone.
Lee got up to meet Michael in the infirmary, reassuring the rest of their cabin that everything was fine and they could go back to sleep.
Will didn't fall back asleep that night.
young enough to not be allowed out, old enough to now know what danger they were in
.-.
The first time Will took the Graveyard shift in the infirmary was in his third summer at Camp. They were short on people, having only 4 capable healers in their cabin, who each took turns working 6-hour shifts with another sibling for support, making sure injured campers didn't die. The protective border around camp was failing, and there were more and more campers being carried through those double doors on stretchers in the past three weeks than Will could remember in his whole time at camp.
His older sister Izzy looked close to breaking down every time a new patient was brought in, but she didn't stop working. Will watched her as she flew around the infirmary, from bed to bed smile on her face and ready to help. Even at 11, Will could see through it.
little cameo of Izzy from "if you need come built your home in me" by yrbeecharmer on ao3, while writing this I somehow forgot every detail about her personality so idk man.
He, like most of camp, spent a lot of time scared these days.
.-.
Will stood on the hill again at the end of summer, and he was there when Thalia came out of the tree.
literally my only thought reading over this line is the foundations of decay by mcr, but its also here for the metaphor, each big moment in his life at camp up to this point (getting to camp, thalia, percy etc) has had something to do with the tree
He and Lee were halfway through their shift in the infirmary, monitoring two Ares kids who’d gotten into a fight earlier in the day, both were only there for observation and would be free to leave in the morning. When Will and Lee heard the yelling, someone was screaming for a medic. They checked the two Ares kids were still asleep and not in any danger, then grabbed their medic bags and sprinted up to the tree, fearing the worst, that the fleece hadn't worked, that someone was dying, that the border was failing again and monsters were invading.
was it responsable for them to leave the two patients unattended? no. but you know what this isnt? an actual hospital. theyre teenagers (no but as a nursing student this actually bugs me but lets be honest, its chb, theyre demigods, theyll be fine) (hopefully)
When Will saw Annabeth kneeling at the base of the tree, his brain nearly went into auto-pilot mode, but in the half-light, he could see the dark outline of someone else on the ground, black jeans and weirdly laced black boots, purple and yellow laces standing out against the scuffed leather.
WOOOOOO thalia's introduction. yk thalia nearly took over this whole fic for a sec there. this nearly became a thalia fic disguised as a will solace fic. haha now i get to use my punk culture knowlege. i went on a whole rant in a discord server about this. for context the laces are ladder laced and yellow on one boot and purple on the other, which in most versions of punk lace code stands for anti racism and queer solidarity/support/identity respectivly
As he moved closer, more of the person's form became clearer. They had choppy black hair, a smattering of freckles across their cheeks, and they wore a green army-style jacket that had more patches and pins attached to it than Will would have thought possible. A spear and shield lay on the pine-needle covered dirt beside the person as if they had just dropped them and fallen asleep right there.
“Will, Annabeth, help me get them down to the infirmary, Chiron says they’re a camper.” Lee said from behind Will, pulling a collapsible stretcher from his bag and setting it up.
The three of them worked together to slide the person onto the stretcher, and Will helped Lee carry it down to the infirmary, then to a curtained-off side room that they usually used for check-ups or isolation, although for the person (Will really should find out their name), it was more just for privacy than anything else.
Chiron followed them to the infirmary after dismissing the rest of camp back to their cabins, and hopefully to their beds, and once Will and Lee had the person settled on the bed, he had asked Annabeth to talk to him out in the hallway. Will couldn't make out what they were saying, their hushed voices nothing but a murmur as he and Lee began going through their baseline assessment of the person, to at least get some idea of if the person was in any danger through the night or not. Everything they did came up normal, as if the person was just in a really deep sleep.
All they could do now was wait for the person to wake up.
.-.
When Thalia woke the first time, Will was sitting writing notes while Lee was busy in the main room doing his rounds. Annabeth was out of the room, having only just been convinced to go get food and shower.
i kind of have this idea (in this fic at least) that because thalia was barely conscious when she was brought into the infirmary, and has been passed out since, that she'd be kept on a 1:1 supervision, just because they dont want her in the main room (too much crowding) but she still needs someone around just in case something happens. maybe its the nursing student in me, maybe its maybelline.
Thalia was murmuring something, almost too quiet to hear, but Will could make out a name. “Jason”.
When asked later, she would deny any knowledge of this, or anyone named Jason.
this idea came from something i think i read on tumblr but i dont remember where or who wrote it. but how good is this for the angst
Will knew she was lying, the burning itch crawling down his arms said so, but he never pushed it.
woooo apollo kids who are allergic to lying!!! (no cos this is canon to me, like they can lie, but itll cause an allergic reaction, which differs between each person and the severity of the lie (big/serious lies could lead to anaphylaxis/smaller would just be sneezing or skin irritation for example)
It was nearly another full day after this that Thalia woke up enough to be properly responsive, albeit still drowsy, and Annabeth had barely left Thalia’s side, only ducking out for a minute or two at a time every couple of hours. Chiron and Annabeth had worked together to start filling in some of Thalia's information into the camp’s record system, but Will felt like her folder was still nothing more than a name and a shitload of cobwebs.
because even if annabeth knew her, there would still be a lot that thalia didnt say or that 7 year old annabeth wouldnt have picked up on, and obviously luke isn't here anymore so fuck him I guess
.-.
The one reprieve that any of Cabin 7 had from the cold and bitter weather was the blanket forts.
They weren't supposed to make them, the rule stated that blanket forts would lose them points in cabin inspections, but at this time of year? Will know that nobody was following that rule. He’d seen nearly every other cabin with enough space making some kind of fort or nest on the floor, all the pillows, blankets, and strings of fairy lights like twinkling stars, and Will could almost imagine nothing was wrong.
Almost.
you give me a camp full of kids and teenagers and tell me they wouldnt make blanket forts every winter? youre wrong. chiron and mr d pretend to not see anything, bc while it isnt officially allowed, as long as the older campers and counselors are responsible and theyre kept reasonably tidy, nobody can be bothered pulling them down, not when its one of the only comforts a lot of the kids can get, especially younger year rounders.
Clarisse was gone on her mystery quest, Thalia and Annabeth were meeting Percy somewhere in New England to pick up a couple of new demigods, half of his other friends had gone home for the winter, and the other half were stuck inside their cabins because of the cold weather.
so i like to think at this point that Will and Clarisse are friends, not sure why or how but at some point Clarisse saw this tiny ass angry-at-the-world kid and decided it was HER tiny ass angry-at-the-world kid. also im not from the US so i had a fun time trying to remember if New England was a state or just an area
It was enough that he almost felt okay.
He longed for the bright sunny days that summer brought, but all he had was the pale monotone of winter.
solar powered apollo kids: they need minimum 2 hours a day in the sun or they wilt like a temperamental plant. (also the seasonal depression prob goes wild with apollo kids)
None of this was okay.
He fell asleep that night hoping that Thalia and Annabeth and Percy and Clarisse were safe, and he woke up that morning to his father’s sun chariot landing in the lake, Annabeth missing, and one new kid to be shown around camp.
Gods it was too early for this.
.-.
kind of a personal choice here to not show the actual battles, just cos 1. i don't quite remember all the details so write that battle, and 2. I have literally no idea how to write it, I'm not good at battles/the bad event itself, but I am good at post bad event trauma and angst so that's what I'm focusing on here.
It didn't fully hit Will that Lee was gone until after the battle when the influx of admissions into the infirmary slowed, campers were stabilised (or shrouded), and they had a chance to burn their dead siblings and friends.
It didn't fully hit Will that Lee was gone until after they burned that golden shroud and there was nothing left but gold-flecked ashes.
It didn't fully hit Will that Lee was gone until days after the battle when he finally got to come back to cabin 7 and sleep in his own bed as he said goodnight to his siblings, that he realised whose voice was missing, and whose quiet call of “g’night lightning bug” he would never hear again.
Lee definitely had nicknames for each kid. michaels was short-stack. i feel like its one of those things that just fits, yk, but also something that definitly left a big Lee shaped hole in the cabin after he died
It hit him hard then, hard enough that he had to stumble outside muttering the faint excuse of needing the bathroom just so his siblings wouldn't hear his sobs
He needed to be strong now. For them, for the rest of the campers, for Lee.
Because who was he if not a rock, a healer, stable and dependable? Who was he if he couldn't heal everyone who passed through those heavy doors into Lee’s, no, his infirmary?
jesus fucking christ he's 12. this part of canon always makes me want to throw something, because he's around 12/13 in botl, 13/14 in tlo, he should not be the one having to deal with this, but I guess times like these you really want as many people with skill as you can get, especially if there is pretty much nobody anymore yk. coming from an 18 year old who works in public health, in a system that is strongly lacking nursing staff to the point where ive worked 14 hour shifts with heavy/complex patients as a nursing assistant, i feel Will here, and all the other healers who stayed and did the best they could with what they had, i get the struggle of being the one person keeping a room/group together, because even if you know theres support, you dont anyways feel that support, yk. worlds on your shoulders even when it doesnt have to be
Gods he wished Christina stayed at camp.
did she leave camp and go to college? did she leave and join the titan army? did she jump universes and join S.H.I.E.L.D? good question, idk either
.-.
Will was done.
YAY EMOTIOMAL BREAKDOWN TIME!!!
He was over this, and he wanted to go home to his mama and his old life and he wanted to just pretend that none of this was real. He wanted to just wake up from whatever shitty dream this was.
In a city usually so filled with noise, all he could hear was silence. Everything just stopped.
He wanted to go home.
.-.
He saved Annabeth, but if he’d waited any longer, took any longer to get to her, it would have been different.
It made him feel sick, thinking of all the other people he couldnt save. One person shied in comparison to the 20 others who he couldn’t save. To his siblings he coudn’t save.
glass half empty?
Gods he hated Percy Jackson now.
The logic part of his brain knew that what Percy and Michael had done was out of necessity and there was no way that Michael would have escaped the bridge in time, but the emotional part of his brain was screaming with grief and rage and utter desperation.
logic brain VS. emotion brain is one hell of a trip and oh boy is he falling. the logic brain here is knowing that what happened couldnt easily be avoided, that what happened to michael was his choice, but the emotional part of the brain is screaming for Will's brother, for all his siblings, because grief is messy and fucked up and even if you know whats right or not, it feels like the only right thing would be that person still being alive
He couldn’t be the oldest now.
He couldn’t be the only one left in charge.
Kayla and Austin had better be okay, or he may just lose what little control he had left.
.-.
The aftermath felt like the worst part of this all.
After days spent listening to the screams and yelling and the burnt-out cracking voices of his siblings desperately trying to save people, this quiet felt wrong.
this one came from telephonedear on tumblr, thank you lovely <3
It wasnt quiet like the silence of the city when everything stopped, where you could hear a pin drop.
It was the quiet of less campers in the dining hall.
It was the quiet of too many shrouds missing from the storeroom shelves.
It was the quiet of three people left in a cabin that once housed nearly twelve.
It was the quiet of working alone in the infirmary because three people rotating through 8 hour shifts was the only way it worked anymore.
It was too quiet now.
.-.
Will Solace was a healer, not a fighter. He spent his time working in the infirmary healing people and teaching whoever wanted to learn and learning when he didn’t know something yet.
this is some of my own angst as a punk who is very anti conflict and anti war and who works in public health, but who was laughed at when i said i wanted to go into nursing, has been told by a lot of people that all i do is hurt people and i could never be in a position where i was caring for someone. Probably one of the best things i've learned as a nursing student is that nobody knows everything, and even the most skilled/experienced nurses are constantly learning new things, new techniques
He wasn’t a fighter. (He would fight forever to keep anyone alive).
He fought anyway. (And gods did it hurt).
He wasn't made for this. (Yet here he was).
He fit the mould needed. (Like a square in the rectangle).
it doesnt matter if he wants to fight or not hell fight until the end of time if it means other people live. you know the phrase "pray for the dead but fight like hell for the living"? yeah this. its also a mix of metaphor (fighting to save patients, in a medical sense) and literal (hed get into fights if that person hurts someone he loves). also the square rectangle thing is a reference to those kids shape ball/box things that you have to out the right shape in the right hole the square always fit in the rectengle and vice versa, but there was always something wrong.
Also, this style of writing (the truncated sentences with two meanings at the same time) is one of my favourite ways to add depth to writing, showing the active thought (and the background thought)
His hands were saturated with blood that nobody could see, but that he tried and tried again to wash away, leaving his hands red and raw, made worse by the overuse of his healing.
this little snippet has the idea that apollo kids can use their healing as much as they want, but using it too much will burn them and leave their hands red and raw, because even the best or most positive powers can be used to hurt and the worst or most negative can be used to help
It was these hands, these healer's hands, that held the gap between this side and the next, but already had too many people slipped through the cracks, like sand between his fingers, an inevitable end to too many too short lives.
i think i see things like "these healers hands" or "these healing hands" in a lot of will centric fics. but either way it feels like one of the really WILL lines
If only he could have done more, maybe he could've saved Lee and Michael and Silena and everyone else who had slipped through his fingers.
Too many times had he hurt without meaning to, too many times had he gotten angry and given someone some sort of plague. He learned to keep calm now. To not get angry until he was alone and the only person he could hurt was himself.
He told himself it was better this way.
the plague! will headcanon in here is kind of an allusion to my tendency of holding in my anger until im alone and im the only one i can hurt, its kind of that thing of "no i deserve these bad things, im a bad person, i need to hurt myself", its also a metaphor for the self isolating/social withdrawal tendencies in depressive episodes, where it feels like what you need is that break from people and you'll feel better, but it only makes it worse and you don't realise until someone drags you back up again.
the idea of the plague powers being compared to depression and self harming tendencies isnt intended to be written as a demonization of mental illness or to blame mental health problems for asshole behaviour, but rather as an exploration of how having the heaviness of shitty mental health across your shoulders feels like a box slowly being built around you, blocking out the people that you know care about you, but who you cant find the effort to be around without feeling like you're just wasting their time or effort, knowing you arent, but as i mentioned earlier with logic vs emotion brain, feeling stuck in a haze of the lows of mental health messes with you, makes it hard even with people who normally wouldnt be hard to coexist with. when i get stuck in the seemingly endless cycle of whats probably depressive episodes but that i havnt actually seen a therapist to work out, it feels like i need to hide myself away from people, because when i get upset, or drained, it feels like every move will just end with me lashing out and hurting someone, and yall, thats fucking terrifying
this is also another concept im hoping to explore in part 2 of this fic, whenever i actually get around to finishing it.
.-.
now for my original DC, which started as more of an essay style analysis that i gave up on bc brain space <3
The idea for this fic came up the same way as many of my other fics, I was listening to my Will Solace playlist, and Carlo’s Song by Noah Kahan came up. Carlo’s Song was written as a tribute to a close friend of Noah Kahans who died young, and this background info combined with the song itself always makes me think of the Apollo kids, Will, Lee and Michael in the pjo series specifically. Cabin 7 is the one cabin we don't know much about until late heroes of olympus/trials of apollo, and the only actual info we have on them in the pjo series is that Will, Lee and Michael lived there, along with a bunch of un-named siblings, who either didn't return to camp after the battle of manhattan or died there, we don’t know. These character study fics that im writing are an exploration of this, with Will as my little trauma guinea pig.
Will is one of those characters who I can just write for, project my own feelings, build on his history and his story and make him something more. There was no specific thought process that went into choosing the age he came to camp, I just picked a rough time and age and went with it. Was Naomi a little sucky as a parent for leaving her 9-year-old kid at the top of this random ass hill? Yeah probably, but I feel like if she had stayed to explain or tried to, she wouldn't have been able to let him go (way not good parenting but that somehow didn't really come into the fic).
In reference to the first little opening paragraph, I feel like even as a kid, Will wouldn't have had the highest self-esteem, even if he got good grades or was liked by everyone, logic brain wouldn't have agreed with emotional brain. Part of it is also that I think Will’s ADHD would manifest pretty heavily into rejection-sensitive dysphoria, and he’d be scared of people hating him or leaving, along with that fear of failing, so he’s a pretty solid people pleaser, but in the fear of abandonment way.
One of my favourite headcanons related to Will’s powers is that he took on the plague aspect of Apollo’s domains, as well as healing and light, and I feel like it gives a good place to explore the whole idea of “something good can be bad, every good thing has a flip side” and this can be seen in the sun itself, where yes it warms us and gives us light to see, but it also burns us, it can be blinding.