Chapter Text
Tsukasa woke up feeling…off? He didn’t feel good that’s for sure. He woke up with a headache, ringing ears, and a racing heart. Everything was so…hot.
He sat up and groaned, “ugh what the…I feel gross.” The star simply got up, wobbling a bit. He walked over to the bathroom and looked at himself. “Ew I look…gross- nothing like a star!” He scoffs washing his face. After all he still had school and a star stops for no one! “A star doesn’t disappoint his fans! Or his trope!!!”
By the tsukasa’s left the house he’s feeling considerably worse. He left the house with no breakfast, finding that if he ate it would surely come back up. As he walked to school his brain felt…fuzzy and tired. Really tired. Once he got to class he couldn’t focus. It’s already tough focusing but god his head…”I want to go home..” the blonde mutters to himself with his head cradled in his arms, “I hate feeling like this..”
Lunch time rolls around, tsukasa slept most of his classes. He was so screwed for his test. During lunch he had no appetite, he still felt nauseous. “My my, not eating lunch? That’s unlike you, you usually have such an appetite?” Rui muses. “Are you calling me fat.” The blondes face drops. “No No! Not at all…just-“ Rui stops himself, “just concerned that’s all.” “I appreciate the concern but I’m fine.” Tsukasa smiles.
Time passes so much faster than tsukasa can blink. Maybe he’s fallen asleep again…he feels considerably worse. His heads squeezing, his throat is dry, he feels like throwing up, and worse of all he feels so woozy. But he has practice with his trope today and he can’t miss it. As he walks with Rui his vision becomes greyish. “Tsukasa you ok? You were spacing out a little my star…” Rui looks worried, “Nono I’m- I’m fine just- a little tired.” Tsukasa says softly. “What are we doing today….?” The blond mutters, “We’re rehearsing the choreography, but if you’re too tired-“ “Nono! It’s good!” Tsukasa interrupts Rui.
Rui is very unsure by now. When he saw tsukasa asleep all class that was red flag number one, his boyfriend was kind of a stick in the mud and always got after him for sleeping. And at lunch he didn’t eat but tsukasa had a large appetite. Rui wrote it off as exhaustion but when they arrived at Phoenix Wonderland, tsukasa stopped and paled. It wasn’t normal of his star. Now as he watched his friends and boyfriend rehearse the new choreography, something was off.
“Ow! Tsukasa you stepped on my foot again- jeez…” nene mutters. “Ah I’m sorry that’s my bad.” Nene was confused, tsukasa was always a pain in the ass about how ‘rehearsal is the most vital time of an actors life’. But today he’s been out of loop. She huffs and sits for a second with her girlfriend emu. “Is he still practicing?” Nene hums, “mhm!” Emu looks at tsukasa, “I’m worried…he’s not doing too good.” Nene lays on emus shoulder, inhaling emus flowery and bright sent, like the sun. “Don’t be he’s probably just……yeah I’ve got nothing I’m worried too.” Nene sighs, “he’s practicing that scene again…jeez this guy!” “Wait nene somethings wrong-“ emu frowns.
Tsukasa felt awful. As he was rehearsing a scene he felt awful. Even more so. He couldn’t quite catch his breath, holding back gags as he tried to keep a brave face. His vision was doubling, greying out. Oh god he was going to pass out. His legs gave out and he was ready to hit the ground. But he felt warm arms around him. “-kasa! Oh my god…….-s he ok???……-ui I’m gonna call his sister…….-ah I’ll call the staff, I can get a ride…….shhh my star it’s ok..sleep.” Little snippets invaded his head. Tsukasas tired. He can’t…stay awake.
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“……hey…my star…are you feeling ok?” A warm voice calls out to him. Huh? Where is he…tired….”hey don’t fall back asle-“ and he’s gone.
“I don’t want to go to grandmas!” Wait. He remembers this…Saki. “Tsukasa tell them I’m fine! I want to stay here with kasa!” Saki was always sick. She never could be like other kids. Even so he cherished her. He wouldn’t hurt her…he couldn’t ever forgive himself. “Nono Saki tsukasa’s sick.” The voice of his mother fades in, “he could get you sick.” She’s right. He doesn’t want that. But- “We can have a road trip Sweetie! Don’t worry. We can all go to grandmas.” His father smiles, trying to calm a hysterical Saki down………Wait. He doesn’t want that. He’ll be alone for hours. He hates this. Please don’t leave- please don’t. “Wait-“ “tsukasa please. Don’t be selfish you know about your sister’s condition.” His mother snapped back. It wasn’t his mom’s fault she was stressed. She had a son stuck with a stomach bug and a daughter her just got out of the hospital. She was reasonably stressed. But all tsukasa could think was, “it’s my fault. I’m selfish.” Selfish he was. Selfish he was that he wanted to make saki unhappy, selfish he was that he wanted people to stay. He wasn’t a star he was selfish, an attention seeker. So he watched them leave, and hated every second. Please come back. Don’t go…don’t go- god please DON’T GO-
“Shhhh…I’m right here..tsukasa please it’s ok…shh” a warm voice soothed him. The blond groggily opened his eyes, he was in bed. He was home..? His heart was pounding. But he felt a little a better, his head was still killing him but everything was….muted. He looked up to see his boyfriend, Rui. Gods that’s embarrassing. “What happened…” ew is that what his voice sounds like? “Well my star, you fainted during practice. Luckily emu alerted me something was wrong because I caught you. Emu got us a ride and nene called your sister, we drove you home. You were out that whole time. You woke up for a little earlier when I gave you medicine, but you quickly fell asleep. You were muttering something and panicking so I woke you up.” Rui explains. Tsukasa blushes, he said that out loud!? “So what’s bothering you…tsukasa I’m worried. First you didn’t say anything! Next you pass out at practice! And now you- you were having a nightmare!”
Tsukasa felt stuck. He didn’t want to say anything, it’s- it’s stupid. Suddenly hot tears were back, drenching his already snotty and sweaty face. “Oh- oh I’m sorry..shhhh I’m not upset.” Rui cradles his head. “It’s not that…” tsukasa starts shakily, “just….some bad memories I’m not ready to face.” They stay like that for a while, Rui rocking tsukasa. Rui softly hushes him, gently easing him back onto the bed. “Get some rest my star. The world can wait.”
The blonde curls up, eyes fluttering shut. “Don’t leave me.”………”I won’t.”