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"Are you coming back too late?" A sweet and gentle voice spoke to Shinya as she watched him with shining eyes.
"Mmm... a little, sweetheart, but don't worry," he paused as he put the rubber band on the end of the braid, "I'll be home in time to say goodnight and read you the book we started yesterday," he rested his hands on her shoulders, taking advantage of the position to plant a kiss on her cheeks.
The girl listens to his words, "do you promise me?" And looks at her reflection in the mirror in front of her. She raises her hand to seal his words with a pinky promise.
It made him think for a few seconds; finally he decided to let out a small sigh and slowly lowered her hand, "you know I don't like to make promises I'm not completely sure I can keep."
For an eight-year-old girl, a negative answer almost always made her lips tremble; Keiko was no exception, so her father continued, "but..." he lengthened the vowels, touching her nose, "I promise I'll do my best to keep what I said, otherwise... we'll ask daddy to give you the tablet to make a video call, okay?"
Seeing her lips move into a nice, wide smile was enough for Shinya to feel that he had done a good job, "deal!" She exclaimed before jumping down from the chair and running to the lower floor of the house.
Shinya chuckled softly as he listened to the girl tell her other father about the plans they had recently made. It didn't take him long to join them, wrapping his arms around his husband's waist from behind and leaving a kiss on the corner of his lips, "don't miss me too much today, I'll try to hurry back for you, too," he murmured close to his ear as the child left to pack her backpack as usual.
Guren laughed, rubbing the hands that rested on his before turning to meet his gaze, "ah? What are you talking about?" He paused as he raised an eyebrow, "I can't wait for you to leave already, darling. A little peace and quiet is always welcome, I have enough to put up with at work."
His answer only elicited a laugh from Shinya. The white-haired man ran his fingers around his neck and brought his lips to his, sealing them in a slow kiss, marking the pauses and setting the pace. When they broke apart, a smile broke out in unison on their faces, "I'm your salvation at work, and outside of work you do nothing but feel lucky to have me as a husband. Stop being so cocky, no one believes you."
It was Guren's turn to laugh, but he only left a small kiss on his lips before he broke off, "make sure Keiko has her shoes tied properly, I'll start the car."
Shinya bit his own lower lip as he shook his head gently, "as stubborn as ever to prove me right," he thought, but he had no choice but to accept it, after all, that was one of the qualities he had fallen in love with years ago.
At some point, Shinya felt that he no longer needed to live in a state of survival. The guard that his heart and mind had activated in him was turned off when he let Guren into his life. At the age of twelve, the two young men met on the first day of high school; their personalities clashed from the first conversation, but somehow they had managed to fit together, and it may have been in part because their mutual friendships managed to forge a group around them. The feelings started in high school when they were only fifteen years old. They went through a year of doubt and uncertainty, thinking they were keeping it a secret, but everyone who knew them knew what was going on between them, how mutual it was, and how stupid they were for not wanting to sit down and talk about it.
From a young age, Guren and Shinya began to understand why love was complex; if there was one thing they could agree on, it was that those feelings could be categorized as bittersweet. They were now thirty-two years old, and if you asked them, they probably wouldn't be able to answer how they got together, they just knew it happened one summer afternoon when the sun was beating down and Shinya was theorizing about what his life would be like once they started medical school.
His life had been as described in the books catalogued for lovers of romantic tales, dreamy, almost unreal. Though there were wounds that bled from time to time, the happiness that the family he had created during all that time gave him was far more worthwhile.
Ever since he was a child, Shinya had seen the cruel side of humanity. In desperation and fear, he had clung to his parents to prevent them from giving him up for adoption, but his attempts were in vain. At that moment, his soul suffered a wound so deep that even when he met his new family, he could not stop the bleeding.
Surrounded by the people who had paid an absurd amount of money for him, a new wound was made over the first scar, which continued to grow over the years, and it was only when he met those he considered his family of friends that it could be said that the wound closed, forming a new scar that soon merged with the old one to form what he considered his childhood trauma.
"Here we are, Keiko." Guren reported as the car was parked in front of the school.
The adults turned to look at the girl in the back of the car. Once their eyes were on her, she pretended to be asleep, an unrealistic lie.
"See, he got that from you, my class naps were so perfect that I should put together a book so people can copy me," a grin played on Shinya's lips as he looked up at his husband, who rolled his eyes.
"More like a pair of bums," he clicked his tongue with an annoyance that wasn't real.
The girl's lousy deception ended when she let out a giggle, yawning lazily. At that moment, Shinya noticed that the band-aid on the girl's arm had come off, so he asked her to wait before leaving. Carefully, the renowned neurologist replaced the elephant-print band-aid with a kitten band-aid.
Keiko watched carefully and finally stretched out her arms for a hug that the man couldn't refuse, "thank you, papa."
Although she put some distance between them, ready to grab her backpack and go to class, she couldn't help but look at him with some hesitation.
"Do you want to ask me something?" Understanding each other thanks to the number of years they had been together, Shinya gave her a soft smile.
"Well... you two always heal a lot of people, my friends say their fathers talk a lot about you daddies, but... did you ever need to be healed?" It was the kind of question that neither Guren nor Shinya had expected, and they looked at her with a surprised expression.
Hesitantly, Shinya parted his lips a few times, trying to give an answer, but in the end, he was unable to get it out. Faced with this situation, Guren massaged his thigh, trying to relax him. The purple eyes turned to the girl and gently answered her question, "of course, both dad and I have been sick several times... or haven't you seen us with tissues and pills to get rid of the flu?" He paused when he heard her giggle, "if you mean wounds like the one you have on your arm from falling while playing... we both got many wounds too, but we don't have any scars left."
"None?"
"Well... when you grow up, there are scars that are left on your heart, like when you get sad because we have to leave the park, but then there are beautiful moments that cover those scars, and one of them is going to school with your friends who are waiting for you," Guren pointed to a spot near the school entrance where the group of kids she used to hang out with had already visualized her friend's parents' car and were gesturing to get her attention.
This new situation made Keiko completely change the chip, and after saying goodbye with a kiss on both cheeks, she ran to where they were. Her parents stayed in the parking lot until she was lost inside the building, and before they left, Guren approached his husband to give him a kiss on the cheek, and he silently thanked him with a smile.
The next stop was the hospital where they worked together; while Guren is a renowned general surgeon, Shinya is the head of the neurology department, and his skill with the scalpel and his ingenious ideas for saving patients with inoperable tumors had made him a leader in his field, so it was no surprise that he was called upon by other hospitals to handle urgent cases of people who could not move, as was the case today.
"Drive carefully," Guren urged as he unbuckled his seat belt.
"You have nothing to worry about except my brother... I think he deserves all your attention," he laughed, climbing down from the vehicle to take the pilot's seat.
Guren sighed as if he had received bad news, and even though it was nothing new that Kureto was his boss, the memory always made his body feel as if he had drunk something disgusting.
"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you? I won't be useful in the operation, but I can be the one to wipe the sweat off you with the cloth, and the one to give you the juice every time you get thirsty."
Shinya smiled in a way that he seemed to think about it, but finally rejected the suggestion with a kiss, "I'd like to live that, but you're needed here. See you tonight, love you."
Guren held his hand until his fingers slipped between his own, and he had no choice but to sigh, "Love you too," he whispered his reply, but it did not reach the ears of his lover, who had already climbed into the car to join the road.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Crossing the threshold of the door, Kureto bade him good morning in the form of an order. Shinya was out, and for some reason unknown to the black-haired man, he was to be the one to replace him in the emergency room; because they were related by marriage, his brother-in-law had said.
At first he thought it would be a busy day, but to his surprise it went more smoothly than other times, and that was always a good thing and something to be thankful for, he did not have enough patience to put up with the problems that the emergency room presented, even though his role as leader was impeccable. He made the usual rounds with the group of students under his care, answered the questions of the other doctors, and was in charge of organizing the wounded brought in by the ambulances. When lunchtime came, he was able to sit with his trusted group at the cafeteria table they always invaded, near the candy stand, at the request of Mito and Shinya.
"How's our boy doing in that private hospital?" Goshi asked as he bit into the hamburger he had bought.
"That's right, he didn't write anything for the group..." Sayuri commented, checking her phone to see if what she said was still true, "Guren, did he tell you anything? It was an important operation, I don't think he won't brag about it even if it doesn't go as expected."
Shaking his head, the black-haired man stuck a fork in his mouth, "before he left, he just said we'd see each other tonight, so I guess he'll wait until dinner to talk about it.
"Does that mean we're staying with you today?" Sayuri's neutral expression contrasted with Goshi's laugh as he hugged the small woman's shoulders.
"It took you years, but you finally understand our dynamics!" His gaze shifted to Guren, and his smile only widened, "indeed, my dear Ichinose, tonight you will put four more plates on the table, I'm sure Keiko will be happy to see her uncles."
"I didn't say I acep-..." his words were interrupted by the irritating beeping of his cell phone, the pager message caught everyone's attention, "shit, there's been an accident. I'm leaving, I'd rather be there first than last and have to endure Kureto yelling at me about how irresponsible I'm with the poor innocent lives that are suffering," his grimace of displeasure was the last thing his group of friends saw before he bolted down the hallway.
"Never mind, we're eating with them tonight anyway," Goshi concluded as he stuffed a french fry into his mouth.
Once he reached the back entrance, Guren took a deep breath of fresh air. When Kureto joined him, he asked without looking at him what this was all about.
"A car overturned, apparently the driver was under the influence of alcohol," he replied in a neutral tone as he put on his gloves, "apparently another driver saw him and wanted to go to help him, but the frozen ground caused his car to derail as well; they are almost in the same condition."
"And say goodbye to the quiet day..." Guren sighed hearing the sound of the ambulance.
As if a button in his brain had been pressed, his attitude changed completely. He indicated to Kureto that he would be the one to take care of the first one, before turning to the medic, "what have we got?"
"Male, 41 years old, under the influence of alcohol, found unconscious. He has a head injury and a Glasgow scale of eleven," he paused for a moment to lower the stretcher with the doctor's help, "received three boluses of saline en route, appears to be going into hypothermia."
"Mikaela!" Guren raised his voice, calling to one of the best students he had under his charge, "help me get him to Trauma One!"
The blonde nodded and left the conversation he was having with his partner to obey the orders, although deep in his brain, he still cursed the time he was told he would be working with Ichinose for a week.
"Sir, can you hear me?" As he was positioned in the room, Guren realized he was regaining consciousness, "I'm Dr. Ichinose, you are in the Moon Empire Hospital. You have had an accident."
Numerous moans escaped his lips and Mahiru, who had joined him at some point, asked for eight milligrams of morphine to be administered. Somehow, the injured man managed to free himself from the doctor's grip and clung to Guren's forearm, "the boy... the boy from before..." the sentence was cut short by his own cough, choked with saliva.
"Don't worry, he's in good hands too, now focus on us and point out where you think the injuries are worse."
At the entrance, Kureto turned his attention to the ambulance that had just arrived. When the doors opened, a curly-haired woman explained the situation, "32-year-old male, hypothermic, no pulse or vitals, Glasgow scale of three. No idea how long he's been down, firefighters took too long to find him."
As the wheels of the stretcher rested on the floor, Kureto felt his breakfast rise to his mouth again; he had to take five seconds to be himself again. During that time, Yuichiro had bonded with him, and the coolness with which the older man handled situations was a skill the younger man lacked; his emotions overflowed with a gasp of horror.
"No... it can't be..." his voice came out unstable and he slowly turned on his heels, "I have to... I have to warn Guren."
"No," Kureto regained his professionalism so quickly, thanks to what his father had taught him throughout his life. His arm slammed against his chest, stopping the run he was about to start, "you're not going to call anyone, you're going to take care of him with me, do you think you can do that or do I have to call another doctor?"
The color brown had never felt as intimidating as it did at this moment, or at least that was the feeling that ran down Yuichiro's spine. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, "I can do this, what do you need?"
"Excuse me... but I think we've lost him, he doesn't seem to be breat-" the paramedic fell silent as she felt the attending's gaze on her.
"No, we haven't lost him. You're dismissed, it's our turn to work," he didn't need to say anything else as his attention shifted completely to the patient, climbing onto the side of the stretcher while checking the reaction of his pupils with a small flashlight, "he's still got body heat, he's alive," he said, starting CPR.
Yuichiro was not sure if these words were directed at him or if he was just saying them to calm himself down.
"Let's go to Trauma Three Ichinose, call Bathory for help," but that was for him, and he responded by quickly going to find the head of cardiology.
"Get warmers and hot saline! Humidified oxygen! Hook him up to an IV now!" Loose orders reached the black-haired man's ears, and he was sure that Sayuri had let out a gasp of surprise when she realized who they were attending to.
His attention was drawn to Guren and Mahiru, who were talking as they hurriedly transported the other man to the operating room. Yuichiro could understand why Kureto didn't want to tell him that his man had gone into hypothermia, because he was doing his job, he was needed, but he still couldn't help but think that it was a stupid, absurd rule. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice that his small figure was going straight into the body of a tall man, and when he raised his head, he felt grateful to God, "Ferid, Kureto needs you in Trauma Three. It's urgent, leave all your questions to Mahiru."
Ferid's face lit up in a way that would frighten even the most serene person, and he said nothing to the young man, just broke into a run to the indicated place. When he entered the room where he was expected, he could not help but whistle in surprise.
"This is unbelievable, painfully unbelievable you might say, the prince is frozen, does your husband even know about this?"
Kureto clicked his tongue in what could be described as anger, "you're paid to do your job, Chief of Cardiology, not play guessing games with people who walk through the ER door."
"Oh... but I accepted, once again," he laughed, taking the latex gloves.
"Didn't you hear me?" Muttering, he challenged him with his gaze; Yuichiro thought that for such a serious person who did not allow himself to be pushed around by such trifles as personal relationships, he was now acting defensively, "give him some epi, now!"
"I thought you wanted to save him, not rob him of his share of the inheritance," Ferid's hand closed around Sayuri's wrist before she grabbed the needle, "he has no circulation, if we give him epi it will stay in his system and be toxic," putting on the mask of the cardiology chief Kureto mentioned earlier, Yuichiro felt he could be a little calmer, "I need pleural probes and a chest lavage, since he has no circulation he needs intermediate abdominal compression, have the students take turns massaging his entire body."
He began to speak more quickly, the teasing and annoyed tone with which he usually treated everyone had mysteriously disappeared. As the nurse handed him the requested items, he continued to give orders, "constant pressure at one hundred beats per minute, and you.... " he crouched down so low that his tone of voice would only reach Shinya's ears, even if he most likely wouldn't be able to hear it, "you better not die from something as ridiculous as hypothermia, because this stupid place is full of stupid people, and you're one of the few I like, and if I have to put up with a grieving Guren, I'll probably learn dark arts to revive you."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Yuichiro's hands trembled from time to time, especially when he remembered that his brother was in surgery, unaware of what was happening to the love of his life. The information came to him with some interference, as his head had begun to hurt from the moment he realized that it had been an hour since the ambulance had brought his brother-in-law.
The news had already spread through the hospital and even Sayuri had taken it upon herself to warn her friends. Kureto had not hesitated to threaten the other doctors with dismissal if the information reached Guren's ears.
On the other hand, Yuichiro was aware that they had to raise his temperature to thirty degrees to try to revive him, but his body did not go above twenty-four; they were still giving the massage and he wanted to ask Ferid if he was pulling their leg or if this was really doing any good. His lips parted, ready to challenge his superior for the sake of his brother-in-law, but Ferid himself interrupted him, "we're going too slow, we need to go to the OR, I'll take care of the bypass," he paused to get off the stretcher, "Yuichiro, prepare him for the OR; Kureto, get the best people to help your little brother."
Following his orders, the two disappeared from his sight, and Ferid could not hold back the sigh he felt in his chest. With a hand on his shoulder, he spoke to him again, "you must see how much trouble you cause us... did I give you the natural gift of dramatizing everything?"
Elsewhere in the hospital, in the pre-op room, Mahiru and Guren finished washing their hands; their operation had been a success.
"It went faster than I thought it would," the man commented absently, his eyes fixed on the now empty room.
"Ha, what did you expect? You're working with an excellent heart surgeon," pride washed over her words, and to get his attention, she tapped him on the hip.
Guren continued to roll his eyes, even though the corners of his mouth formed a soft smile, "I could have done it just as well without you, it's just that you got bored hanging around the ER and teamed up with me."
The woman laughed, leaning against the edge of the sink, "ah... fine, I guess I can't argue with you on that one," she shrugged with her trademark amused smile.
Their conversation was interrupted by the figure of a man entering the preparation room, Kureto. His eyes went straight to the woman, "Mahiru, come with me for a moment. It's urgent, so spare me the absurd words you want to say by throwing flowers at yourself."
Guren wanted to ask him about the other patient, but the question died before their lips parted. So he picked up his cell phone from the counter and scrolled through the notifications, looking for his lover's name, but he didn't find it. His brow furrowed, and he finally thought that he must be busier than he thought.
In the hallway, Kureto took a deep breath and pulled the woman away from the door to make sure that any stray words would not reach the ears of the man he was trying to avoid. By simply telling her that it was Shinya, Mahiru knew the meaning behind the sentence. It wasn't even necessary to ask her to take care of talking about Guren, she offered herself and without counting on his approval, she went back to the room where the one she considered her best friend was.
"Hey Mahiru, I have some free time now, would you like some coffee...?" His words trailed off until it was completely silent when their eyes met.
The Hiragi manipulated their expressions so well that it was impossible to decipher what they were thinking, but Guren and Mahiru carried years of friendship with them, years of knowing each other, fighting, understanding, and learning to be there for each other.
"Guren..." she murmured, taking short steps until she was standing in front of him, "I have something to tell you."
"Is it my father, has something happened to him?" To him, that was the most obvious way, but the woman refused, "what is it, Mahiru? Just tell me, I'll be able to take it."
She wasn't sure how true that was, so before she said it, she leaned on his shoulders, massaging the area to comfort him, "it's Shinya," she murmured, moistening her lips before continuing, "he... he needs you."
Everyone in the corridor on the second floor saw one of the most renowned surgeons running with a woman of brilliant appearance. Before he could burst into the operating room, Mahiru wrapped her fist around the upper garment he was wearing and dragged him to the observation gallery, threatening him not to be a nuisance to the doctors treating him.
The door opened, making a heavy noise to the ear, but the few present did not complain, they could not when they knew, without turning to check, that the person who had broken the tense silence was none other than the patient's husband.
"Yuichiro, bring blood, as much as you can," Kureto's voice came through the megaphone, and as he watched his brother shoot into the warehouse, it was as if a jolt of reality had hit him directly in the chest; the air in his lungs left him completely.
He didn't fall to the floor, thanks to Mahiru being at his side; she made sure to go around his waist and sit him down on one of the chairs, stroking his back with the palm of her hand to even out the rhythm of his breathing.
"Guren..." she repeated his name a few times until she was sure he would hear what she had to say, "it's Shinya..."
"It's Shinya," he repeated behind her, wanting to assimilate that the person they were trying so hard and dedicatedly to save was about his husband.
"No, Guren, that's not what I meant," she cradled his face between her hands, preventing him from looking at the crystal, "it's Shinya, when have you ever seen him give up or take the easy way out? He'll get out of this, he's got the best with him; my brother is risking punishment for taking care of a family member, just to save his life; Ferid is running everything, he may not be quite right in the head, but his talent is undeniable; Goshi is there too, you see him? He doesn't even blink so as not to miss any detail; your own brother is taking care of him, he'll be fine, he'll be fine".
Guren tried to breathe and even if Mahiru's words had hit somewhere in his heart, he could not relax. Every muscle in his body was tense and he didn't need any tests to know that his blood pressure had shot up like never before.
"Should we go with the epi dose?" Kureto spoke again, bringing Guren back to reality.
"No, remove the clamps so we can start the bypass."
Until today, Guren had never found the sounds of the machines unpleasant. The excitement and adrenaline rush of being within the four walls of the operating room had now turned into full blown fear, "three hours..." he commented in a whisper, drawing Mahiru's gaze to him, "three hours and they couldn't tell me before."
"It's protocol," his best friend's rational response only made him want to punch the glass in front of him, to take out all his anger on something other than her.
"The protocol should include a clause that allows me to yell at whoever makes that decision," he snorted, leaning against the upper frame of the window and peering down intently, alert for any details they might have missed.
"Come on, Shinya. Your blood is circulating... don't leave your daughter alone, nor your stupid husband, it's not something you would do," Kureto spoke between his teeth, and although he wanted it to be a sentence directed only at his brother, it was also noticed by Ferid, who let out a soft laugh.
"I didn't know you were a lover of family life, you don't give that impression."
"And I'm not," he replied without looking at him, "but he loves his family, I think he could do with thinking of them now, and I refuse to leave my niece without her father when I've seen how much she adores him."
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Guren couldn't stand being in this small observation gallery. With each passing minute, he felt the walls shrink, crushing his heart. Looking at the clock on the wall, he realized that only an hour had passed since the bypass had begun.
His patience reached its limit and he slipped out of Mahiru's hands when she tried to grab him to keep him from falling. The woman was too slow, and all she could do was follow him, entering the operating room with him and positioning herself at his side as they argued with Kureto.
Willing to break the rules of the procedure, Mahiru and Guren sterilized themselves to join the group of doctors caring for Shinya. One of the nurses brought a stool so that Guren could sit next to his husband, and could only nod in appreciation.
The bypass was a long procedure that required patience on the part of the doctors and family members. It usually took between three and six hours, but in cases like this, where they were in a delicate area, where they had to make very subtle progress, the hours could add up to more than many could bear to wait for the results, whatever they might be.
The clock turned, the day consumed, and while most eyes were on the monitors, Guren's were on the face of his beloved, a hand on his shoulder, caressing the cold skin.
It was no surprise that he told him everything he wanted to say aloud in his head, but the fear of bursting into tears as his lips parted haunted him like a vengeful spirit.
"There it is!" Mahiru stood up so quickly that she couldn't help but bump into a nurse, "look!" Her index finger pointed to the monitor that checked the heartbeat, completely confident, "there's a rhythm, don't you see?"
Kureto sighed at what he had heard. Of all the people he thought he would lose his mind in this room, his beautiful, intelligent sister was the last of his choices, "there's nothing, Mahiru, is looking at the screen so much getting to you?"
The woman reiterated her point, repeating over and over that they were in fibrillation, and as if she were the one in charge, she asked for the defibrillator to be charged to 120, but no one around her moved.
"What don't you hear?" Her eyes drifted to Guren, and if he had no hope either, she would share it with him, "Ferid, is age getting to you? Are you blind, deaf? Give me the damn charge!" This time her order was taken with the seriousness it demanded, and she shouted at her friend to step away from the body to begin.
After the first shock, there was no positive result, but that did not make her back down, she asked to raise it to 150. The situation was repeated in a loop until she reached 200; after the second defibrillation at that number, Guren called out her name. It was the first time he had spoken since entering the operating room, his tone was raspy and he was unable to pronounce clearly, "that's enough, okay? Stop, please..."
His denial wasn't enough for Mahiru to stop, so she gave him another shock, "Mahiru, I order you to stop as his guardian, which I'm!" His voice finally broke as he sat up and clung to her shoulders. On one or two occasions, he had discussed this topic with Shinya, and he was beginning to feel that they were bordering on the kind of treatment his husband didn't want to receive.
However, and to the surprise of everyone present, Kureto agreed with Mahiru and pulled Guren away from the patient, "let her, she knows what she's doing, let her do it!" He raised his voice when he resisted and made him look at him, "we can't stop now, he wouldn't want to stop knowing that his sister is so close to bringing him back".
His mouth opened, and whatever sound was about to come out was replaced by a sob as he heard the machine behind him beep. With some distance, the beeps reflecting his heartbeat could be heard throughout the room, and Goshi left his post to hug Guren as fast as their positions allowed, "there you go, buddy, he's back with us."
"We have a rhythm," Ferid said with a smile, complimenting Mahiru with a light nudge, "if you steal a patient from me again, I'll rip your pretty head off, is that clear?" His smile, as false as the tone of his voice, made the girl laugh.
"Do your job well and I won't have to," she smiled back at him with the same level of arrogance; it seemed that he had taught her more than just medicine over the past few years.
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Resting in a room away from the operating room where they had spent hours, Shinya's most beloved people watched over the post-operative period; Mito monitored the brain activity, Mahiru stopped by the room from time to time to check the heart rate monitor for any abnormalities, Sayuri checked every hour that the position of the IVs didn't cause any damage, and those who could do nothing but wait prayed that there would be no complications, checking his vitals and scanning him every few hours.
Guren held his hand with impeccable firmness, in the perfect place not to hurt him but to let him know that he was by his side.
"We won't know when he'll wake up or how bad it was until he opens his eyes," Ferid commented from the doorway, and Guren didn't turn around to answer something he considered obvious, "Mahiru sent me to ask if you want her to pick up Keiko from the nursery and keep her tonight, she says she's looking forward to playing the role of the cool aunt who gives her pizza for dinner, or something like that."
Guren showed a weak laddish smile, "tell her to bring my baby."
His request seemed to sound a bit outlandish to the ears of those present, so Guren found himself looking at Ferid, and reiterated his point, "Shinya promised her that he would come home at night, or they would talk by video call. She's my daughter, I'll handle this with her."
None of their group was sure what to say or how to say it; silence seemed to be the best company, though if Shinya saw the atmosphere they were immersed in, they would probably get a lecture. Finally, Ferid shrugged, chuckled at the request and left the room to carry out his order.
As the hours passed, the positivity took a back seat. Soon it was the wee hours of the night, and the patient's visits dwindled with time. Guren had asked his friends to go to sleep, but they had flatly refused each time he had suggested it; at best, they could aspire to sleep in shifts, and not for long, they said, if they were not there when the boy woke, then they could not be considered a good family.
Keiko, on the other hand, slept curled up on the couch and when Guren looked at her, he couldn't help but feel a tingle in the center of his heart. At that moment, he remembered the look on his little girl's face when Mahiru opened the door and she greeted the stricken relatives. Feeling that he should be honest with her, Guren got up and knelt down in front of her, took her hands and told her that daddy had a little problem that he would explain later, but that he needed her to sit next to him and tell him how much she appreciated him, as usual.
She must be a girl of great intuition. She asked nothing more, just nodded and leaned back on the side of the bed, telling of her day as usual. It may have been the sweetness and innocence of age, or simply the fact that those present were very fond of her, but seeing her speak so lovingly to her father, they were able to remain a little more cheerful, at least for a while.
Now, in the darkened room, with no one but his beloved and his daughter present, Guren allowed himself to let go of all the pain he had accumulated throughout the day. With both hands wrapped around his husband's, he rested his forehead on his husband's hand and let out the sob that found itself as a stopper to his tears. After that, he could no longer hold back his agony, and numerous tears soaked the sheet along with his pale skin.
Guren didn't believe in any divinity, he didn't think there was something above their heads watching over them, and he didn't believe in reincarnation, he just clung to the present, to what he had built with his own efforts and work. However, in a situation like this, where he had nothing to do but wait, he asked heaven for a chance. He didn't think he had the right to beg because his whole life had revolved around skepticism, but he was so lost that his voice unconsciously came out as a thread of sadness, "please don't take him away from me. He... he's everything to me; my life, my happiness... if I'm a better person, it's all because of him. He's been with me through everything, I don't know how to go on if I don't hold his hand. Give me the chance to make him as happy as he makes me, to give him back even a tenth of everything he has taught me and given me all these years," his words were cut short by lack of air, he felt the need to take a deep breath.
No one could tell if the squeeze on the black-haired man's hand was because of Shinya's effort to wake up or because some god had answered Guren's prayers, but the gesture made Guren's heart jump like it was suffering from an arrhythmia. He sat up from the bed without letting go of it, his gaze drifting to his face.
"Shinya...?" He whispered, waiting for some reaction from him, something to let him know that the desperation and the lack of sleep had not caused him to lose his mind.
A small sound, faint and reflecting a slight pain, came from the white-haired man's lips. His eyes shifted under his eyelids before he managed to open them fully, the corners of his eyes raised as he saw the person in front of him, "Guren..." was the first word he gave him before pausing, "you're here," pointing out such an obvious fact made Guren smile amidst the crying that couldn't be stopped now.
The black-haired man sighed and leaned down to place his other hand on his cheek, caressing the soft skin. The warm contact, in complete contrast to the other body, made Shinya tilt his head to the side, following the touch that pleased him so much.
"Where else would I be, darling?" His answer came as a question, and he closed the distance between them to kiss his forehead.
Shinya smiled at that, lifted his own hand despite the difficulty of the wires and clasped it with his; he wanted to hold it in such a way that he knew he was there, with him, that he wasn't going anywhere.
Mito, whose turn it was to check the vital signs, appeared five minutes after the couple had been united in such an intimate and special way, as if the time that had elapsed served no other purpose than to calm their agitated hearts from the fright they had experienced.
"Guren, you can go to sle-..." her words were abruptly cut off when she realized that her friend was awake, and the filing folder she was holding fell to the floor.
The rumbling was so loud that the two boys separated and Shigure, who was guarding another ICU patient, rushed into the room. Her friend's reaction could only mean one thing.
"Hey… should I start by apologizing for scaring you guys? It feels great to have so many people looking out for me, though," his characteristic playful tone washed over his tired voice.
When the girl couldn't hold back tears of happiness, Shinya gave her a warm smile, "I'm fine, don't worry... my blood vessels constricted to keep warm, my heart stopped... the cold kept me from dying, then you all thawed me out and restarted my body so I wouldn't leave my husband a widower for the rest of his life," he mixed professionalism with jokes, explaining what he had been thinking since he opened his eyes.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The next few hours were enough for Shinya to regain some of his lost strength. The room where only his husband had been was filled with those he had known since his youth. Mito, Goshi, Sayuri and Shigure hadn't left his side and had even called the boss to ask for a day off, although the white-haired man had insisted that it wasn't necessary. Keiko had woken up from the commotion and instead of complaining as usual, she squealed with happiness, ran to the bed and hugged the man lying on it.
Ferid had checked his reflexes, and underneath that playful and annoying side, he had expressed his happiness that he was recovering both well and quickly. His brothers visited him from time to time, and the odd doctor and nurse he got along with had stopped by to inquire about his condition, but none stayed more than ten minutes. Those who took turns feeding him and wouldn't let him be alone were the ones he chose as his family one day when he was thirteen years old.
Goshi's usual pranks made him laugh, especially when the end result was that Mito hit him to stop bothering him. Sayuri, with her beautiful, warm smile, had promised to bring him a jar of the best sweets to work every day. Shigure, with the calmness with which she used to handle all aspects of life, was the one who paid the most attention to his health, informing every specialist about all the changes he was going through; fortunately, there was nothing negative to worry about. And finally, the person he had chosen as his life partner had made a place for himself on the edge of the bed, hugging his shoulders so that he could lie on his chest. Surrounded by such a pleasant atmosphere that made him feel so happy, Shinya thanked his smaller self for having chosen the people he wanted to befriend extremely well.
"Daddy, papa told me you hurt yourself..." Keiko commented as she rummaged through the small backpack she used when she went to kindergarten; today she had been allowed to skip class so she didn't want to leave her parents' side, "I looked for the prettiest one for you," she pulled out the box of bandages and rummaged through it until she found a light blue one with little white tiger drawings on it.
At that detail, Shinya couldn't help but smile tenderly, a part of his heart breaking as the girl kissed his forehead and placed the bandage near the IV of his hand.
"So... you won't have a scar from now on," since the little girl had fallen while riding her bike and gotten a wound on her arm, she was afraid that it would scar her skin for life, so Guren and Shinya tried to explain to her that it was okay, that she could have a small scar without losing her charm.
Seeing such a cozy scene, Mito quietly told the rest of her friends to leave her alone for a while, and they followed her without complaining.
Shinya sighed contentedly. His arm clung tighter around his lover's waist, and he drew a soft smile when he heard his heartbeat. He remembered how Goshi had joked a few hours ago that Guren had been crying for hours, and inevitably his brain connected that with the words he had half heard before he woke up, "mr. Atheist begged God for me, don't you think that's admirable?" Having said that, he noticed his partner's muscles tense and laughed at his own expense.
"For God's sake... what did you want me to do? I was desperate," he clicked his tongue with some annoyance, making sure his hug was tight enough that he could feel the warmth his own body gave off, "my father taught me to fight for what I want, how else do you think I managed to get you to be my husband?"
Shinya laughed again, clenching his fist against his shirt, "uhm... I like it when you cry for me, do it more often," he smiled teasingly, earning a small slap on his shoulder.
"I would prefer it in a different context, if possible," after answering, Shinya raised his head to look at him with a raised eyebrow, silently scolding because their daughter was still present, distracted but present; Guren apologized silently as well, but gently held his neck so he could lie back down, "anyway... did you see anything when you were unconscious? Was there that white light everyone is talking about?"
Shinya thought about the answer for a moment until he decided to shake his head, "the only thing I was thinking about was you worrying too much... I guess that was the only thing that kept me expectant, I knew you all would make it," he paused and took a deep breath because his lungs still weren't in the mood for a big physical effort, "although I would have preferred Ferid to be the one to bring me back, not Mahiru, now I'll have to endure her comments for at least a year."
It was Guren's turn to laugh, rubbing his back for comfort, "when she said she saw your pulse... I almost kissed her again, it was the only w-.."
Even though the sentence didn't make it to the end, Shinya took it upon himself to twist his nipple over the fabric of the sweater, drawing a whimper of pain from him, "make that comment again and next time they'll have to revive you."
"Okay, okay... let's talk about how our daughter is going to make sure you don't have any more scars until the end of your days," he carefully took the hand that held both the IV and the sticker and stroked it gently.
"Really... since I've had you two, they've long since disappeared."