Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Hello! I am Xmens-gal. I am a 20 year-old college student who is finally taking on new things and aspirations that I have been wanting to do for a long time. I just wanted to take this time to talk about what this fanfiction will be about and my plans for it. First of all, this is a FANFICTION. I obviously do not own any rights to Marvel or the X-men. This is just me writing for fun.
Now that that’s out of the way my next thing is I plan on creating my own MCU with these fanfictions. Yes, there are going to be multiple fanfics that will come out and tie into each other at some point, but right now I am solely focusing on X-men. I will be keeping the characters as close to canon vs. fanon as possible. Also, constructive criticism is appreciated. This is my first time EVER writing a fanfiction so I am very open to being helped out on improving my writing. I will include trigger warnings if there are extremely heavy topics involved, but for the most part the most that’s going to be mature in the fanfics is sex.
The last few things I want to mention are these fanfictions will either have animatics or animations coming out with each chapter. So, what does that mean? Well, in all honesty I am not too sure. I am going back and forth if I will be planning on writing the whole fanfiction first and then pump out the animatics/animations or releasing the chapter and then the animation/animatic. Another thing I might do for fun is make a zine/fan comic for this.
Well, I think I have covered everything. Happy reading and remember, tips and help are always appreciated.

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They never wanted to feel this way. That’s what they always told themselves. They had been best friends for so long with him. They shouldn’t feel this way. Love does not come with an instruction manual. Love can not be predicted. Yet there Morph was sitting with Logan on the couch watching a movie. Sitting next to each other under a blanket watching Die Hard, much to Logan’s persistence. Morph didn’t mind, they enjoyed watching action movies as well. Maybe it’s because of how Logan’s brow furrowed when he was paying attention to detail or maybe it was when he laughed at the cheesy dumb jokes that were made.

To have a long special bond with your best friend is one thing, but to be in love with your best friend is another. Morph would occasionally glance at Logan during the movie, the one time they did though Logan locked eyes with them. “What?” Logan asks. “Did I get something on my face?” Morph laughs awkwardly, “No, sorry I’m just a little out of it tonight Logan that’s all.” His eyebrows raise, “Something on your mind bub?” “No, don’t worry. Think I’m just tired from all the training we did in the Danger room today. Scott really pushed us. I’m definitely going to be feeling it tomorrow.” Logan laughs. That sweet rough laugh. “Well,” Logan puts his arm around Morph. “If you’re gonna be distracted might as well do something about it, right?”
The nights always started like that. Morph being distracted and Logan leading them both up to his bedroom. The room would be full of tension. Lips colliding, bodies pressed against each other. It made it harder to not fall in love. It was nothing serious, no strings attached, Morph didn’t ask but they knew. After the night was through and the morning sun would arise, they would find the bed empty. Getting up. Putting on their clothes from the previous night and waltzing out Logan’s room back to theirs. Despite the multiple nights of staring and being intimate with one another, Morph would never tell Logan how they actually felt. They wanted to keep things as they are. Simple, but complex. Like love is.

Things started to change a bit though. Morph would notice Logan and Scott getting along better. Soon, though, they began hanging out together a lot: training, going out, watching a movie. Morph would not lie that they were a bit jealous, but they thought it maybe a good thing. Logan and Scott had always been on rough ground and they seemed to be getting along well now so what’s the harm. What is the harm? The harm started when Morph noticed Scott coming out of Logan’s room in the morning, when they noticed those two staring at each other for a bit too long, or maybe it’s when they saw Logan lead Scott to his room. Love hurts and it hurts like a bitch. Morph wouldn’t say anything though as Logan would still lead them to his room. The only way they could be close. That’s what Morph liked to think. Logan and them being close, even though that would never happen. But early in the morning when Morph would leave, they could hear Scott’s footsteps behind him heading to Logan’s room. That’s when they realized they are not the only one.

A couple weeks pass by and Morph decides to finally ask the question. “So, I’ve noticed you and Scott have been getting along well lately…” Logan meets Morph gaze. “Well, he grew onto me I guess.” He replied gruffly as he looked up into the sky. Morph liked to think of this as the closest thing they could get to a date with Logan. Laying outside in the grass, far away from the mansion, looking up at the stars while drinking a beer. “But, you know…aren’t Jean and Scott married, Logan?” There is slight hesitation in the question. Morph has been friends with Logan for a very long time, but he is unsure how Logan will respond to this. He looks at them with a bit of a scowl. “Why are ya so curious all of a sudden?” “Well, I think it is a bit of a fair question. Scott and Jean are married and ...well, I’ve noticed you and Scott getting really close and leaving your room in the morning, Logan. I’m not here to judge, but I am just a bit curious about what circumstances are.” Logan sighs. “You’re my best friend so I guess I can tell ya.” He smiles at Morph a bit. “Scott, well, he came to me saying he wanted to try something new in the danger room.” He takes a sip of his beer. “One thing led to the next and well…you’re smart you can fill in the rest.”

Morph knew they could fill in the rest, but they didn’t want to. “You and Scott are…” “Sleeping with each other, yeah.” It felt like a dagger in the heart, twisting and turning. “I- I see.” Logan looked at Morphed concerned. “Are you ok bub?” “Hm? Yeah. Yeah I’m ok.” Logan softly smiles at Morph. That godforsaken smile. “Hey, I’ll always have time for you. You’re my best friend Kevin.” Their name. Logan used their actual name. They look up at Logan. “Do you promise?” Morph wasn’t sure what they were asking Logan to promise. Being best friends? Their late night sessions together? That he’s promising to love them even if it isn’t the love they desire so deeply? Logan chuckles and places a hand over Morph’s. “I promise.”

They don’t know what came over them next, but their lips collided with Logan’s. Fast and rushed like if they didn’t do it now that he would disappear. Logan starts to shed off his jacket and he pulls off Morphs. He grabs their hand and places it on his chest. The next thing they both know they’re completely nude on the grass. Logan places Morph in his lap. “Logan?” Logan stares up at Morph. Morph notices a certain look in his eyes. “Are ya ready?” Logan asks. “Yeah of course I am.” Morph laughs a bit. No matter how many times they did this Logan would always get flustered asking if they were ready.

Morph positioned themselves. “This good or do you want me to form a side of tits as well?” They joke. Logan laughs. “You’re the only one who can make me laugh, Morph. I’ve always liked that about you.” He places a hand on their cheek. “You ready?” Morph nods yes. He slips in slowly earning a moan from Morph. He keeps on moving slowly until he’s all the way in. Morph eyes flutter open a bit and they see Logan staring up at him. They smirk, “What? Is it really that good?” He gets no response from Logan at first. “You’re beautiful.” Morph is taken back by this statement. Logan always makes it harder for them to not fall for him. “Well, aren’t you a charmer Logan.” He smirks at that and starts to slowly move.
This time it’s different. It’s slow and sensual. Not like the countless other times where it’s rough and messy. Logan is taking his time and it makes Morph fall harder and farther in love. “Logan.” It comes out softly out of Morph’s mouth. “I want you to say my name again, please.” As they further continue, Logan’s name comes out of Morph’s mouth. Softly, longingly, lovingly. After a while they both finish panting in each other’s arms. They start to round up their clothes and put them back on. Morph picks up Logan’s phone to give to him. It buzzes and a message from Scott comes up. They toss it to him. “Looks like boytoy wants to talk to you.” Morph jokes. Logan catches his phone and reads the message. “I’ll see you later.” Logan leaves and Morph stays standing where they are. They clean up the beer cans and stare up into the sky wondering why out of anyone they could have fallen for had to be Logan.

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A few weeks pass by and Logan is around less and less. He and Scott are going out more often. Whether it be at a bar or out in town. Morph is starting to feel more lonely than usual. Despite spending more time with the X-men, including Beast which is rare, they feel like something is missing. They sit in their room knitting, a hobby they took on despite Logan teasing them. Morph smiles at the memory of Logan finding out they knit. Logan had joked and called Morph an old lady, but eventually would join in and help. Logan would even occasionally try to make something as well. They look out their window and see in the corner of the backyard Scott and Logan making out. Morph doesn’t know why but it irks them. Maybe it’s cause Scott is married to Jean or cause they want Logan for themselves…they can’t really tell. They continue to watch from their window. How Logan wraps his hands around Scott’s waist and is pinning him against a tree. Morph started to feel jealous and very lonely. They felt very pent-up as well. They weren’t one for being a “freak in the sheets”, but seeing Logan be so intimate with someone else made Morph ache for him.

Morph starts to think of all the nights they would have fun in their room. How Logan would gently pin them to the bed. Logan was rough and wild, but also soft and sensual when he wanted to be. Morph closes their curtains, walks away from the window, and sits on the bed. The knitting project is moved to the bedside table. The more they thought about Logan the more their hands started to wander. Their eyes close and they think of his touch. His rough hands, how soft his body hair was, and how his arms would wrap around them just right. They groan feeling all hot and bothered by the thought of Logan. The ache between their legs starts to become too much. “Fuck me…” they groan slightly annoyed they got themselves worked up. Or was it Logan’s fault for being so damn irresistible. Whatever the reason is, Morph gets up and heads over to their closet. They shift to be a bit taller to grab a box hidden at the top tucked away. The box is placed on the bed and the lid is taken out. So cliche, but Morph likes to keep his sex toys tucked away. Of course, they wouldn’t want anyone stumbling upon it not even Logan. They grab a small bottle of lube they keep and a simple but very nice dildo. The lid gets put back on the box and placed on the floor. They head to their bathroom, grab a towel, and lay it on the bed. “It’s better to prevent a mess from happening.” They shut off the main light and turn on a small lamp for ambiance. They lay back down on the bed and start to think of Logan again.

Morph slowly starts to strip down. Their oversized shirt was the first thing to be slipped off. Next was the thin black pajama pants. They moved their hands over their thighs and up to their chest. “Logan..” They whispered out their mouth. Their underwear is tugged down slowly and tossed to the side. Their hand moves down more and more. The lube bottle is picked up and some is squirted into their hand. They move their hand back down and start to rub it all over. A sigh comes out and more thoughts about Logan continue. Their hand is slicked up in lube and they insert a single finger into their hole. They slowly move it back and forth, eventually adding another finger in as well. Their back arches a bit off the bed. The dildo is grabbed and covered in lube as well. “Fuck…”. Morph then removes their two fingers and prods the dildo at their entrance. They whimper a bit as they still think about Logan and how much he likes to tease Morph. They slowly insert the toy in letting out a quiet moan. They don’t want to draw any attention to their room for anyone. They start to move the toy back and forth slowly, fantasizing about Logan. They imagine Logan being over them, kissing their neck slowly, holding each other close, and how warm Logan can be. He’s like a walking heater, even for a man who has adamantium in his bones. So warm. So soft. Morph starts to think of all the things Logan would say and what they’d want him to say. He can hear Logan’s voice in his mind. “You’re doing so good” and “You like it when I move my hips like that against ya?”. It’s enough to send Morph over the edge, but what sends them over the edge is imagining Logan getting close and him saying “I love you”.

Morph lets out a moan, back arching off the bed as they finish. There is a sheen of sweat over their body and they see the mess that's all over the towel underneath. “Thank god I actually put one down this time…”. They lay there thinking a bit. They wonder if Logan ever fantasizes about them when he jerks off or if maybe somewhere deep down Logan loves them. A sigh comes from their mouth as they get up. The toy is cleaned and put back in the box along with the lube. It’s tucked back into the closet and the towel is thrown into a hamper. Morph takes a quick shower to rinse off the sweat and fluids. The pajamas are slipped back on and they lay down. They turn off the lamp and get under a blanket. They slowly drift off to sleep thinking of all the things they want to say to Logan and what they want Logan to say to them.

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It’s a constant routine. Logan would hang out with Morph for a few and then would go back to spending time with Scott. They felt like their heart was slowly dying from the pain of longing for something more. A week-long mission came up, which fortunately only consisted of Logan and Morph. It was just a simple stakeout mission to get some information about a facility that allegedly might have a bunch of mutants harbored in there. Logan and Morph pack for the trip, taking a car to keep it on the down low. Logan, which Morph has no protest to, takes the driver's seat and they buckle in. “I hope you know where you’re going, Logan. It’s a 4-hour drive, let me know if you get tired. I can take over driving if ya do.” Logan snorts, “Bub, I can stay up for days on end. I got this.” Logan starts driving with no radio on and no talking.

“Do you like never listen to music? Cause the silence is painfully awkward right now.” Morph teases. “Never been one to listen to much music. Besides, this is Scott’s car. Who knows what trash music he’s got in here.” Logan rolls down his window. “Hand me a cigar bub. It’s in my jeans pocket.” Morph reaches into Logan's front right-side pocket. “Here ya go.” They place it in between Logan’s lips and grab the lighter to light it up. “Back to the main point…we can either talk or see what music Scott has in this car. Pick your poison Logan~.” Logan sighs, “You’re really going to keep on pushing to keep ya entertained ain’t ya?” Morph laughs, “Oh come on Logan when have we had time to just talk anyway? We barely get to spend time together anyway. I just thought it would be nice you know?” Morph was nervous about their words coming off too harshly. “We barely get to spend time together anyway.” The phrase they said keeps on lingering in their mind. Did they come off too harsh?
Finally, Logan speaks. “That’s fair. What’s on your mind then?” Logan glances over a little to Morph as he drives. Morph wants to say so many things, but they decide to half-ass the truth. “Well…I do miss getting to hang out with you a bunch. Like you know me and you going out to drink or just talking. Guess it’s been a while since we have actually spent time to do those things you know. Basically what I’m getting at is I miss you being around as much as you used to.” They take a breath. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact you and Scott get along now. Cause geez that’s like over a decade late of that happening, but also I guess it feels lonely without you around.” It’s quiet for a few minutes. “Well,” Logan finally says. “I didn’t know you felt that way. Guess I have been around Scott a lot recently…” ‘Yeah way too much…’ Morph thinks to themselves. Logan grips the stealing wheel tighter, “I’m not good at this Morph…talking you know. All I can say is that if you ever do want to hang out I’ll make more time for ya, bub.” Logan looks at Morph for a few seconds before looking back out the road in front of them.

2 hours have passed and they stop at a gas station. Morph pumps the gas for the car while Logan goes inside to get some snacks and drinks. 10 minutes later he comes out with two plastic bags full of snacks and drinks and two cases of beer. He puts it in the back seat as Morph watches. “You know…I’m not one for rules but are we supposed to be drinking on missions?” Morph asks with a smirk. “If you don’t wanna drink you don’t gotta.” Logan huffs. Morph finishes pumping gas. “Do you want me to dri-” “No. I got it.” Logan says as he sits in the driver's seat. “Ooook…?” Morph gets into the passenger side once again. They pull out of the gas station and head out on their way. The air is tense for some odd reason. “Logan?” No response. “Did I upset you or something? If it’s about me wanting to hang out with you more it’s ok I get if you-”. Logan pulls over and slams on the brakes making them both go a bit forward, the seatbelts pulling them back. “LOGAN! WHAT THE HELL MAN!” Morph shouts. They turn to look at Logan. His grip on the steering wheel is tight and he looks a bit spaced out. Morph unbuckles their seatbelt. They slowly unbuckle Logan’s as well and put the car in park. Logan’s hands are slowly removed from the steering wheel, Morph holding them in his hands.

“Logan?” they say quietly. Logan looks at them. “What’s wrong? I know you aren’t a man of many words, but that was very…unexpected. Talk to me?” Morph holds eye contact with him. Logan looks like he wants to say something but nothing comes out his mouth except for a simple, “I’m sorry.” Morph feels bad, not knowing which way to navigate this. “Hey…you don’t gotta tell me. Just maybe a warning next time if you want to go off-roading” they joke. Logan cracks a small smile and chuckles at that. “Yeah guess I should.” “So do you want me to drive or do you still got it?” “No, I got it. I’m…ok.” Logan and Morph buckle their seatbelt once more and he drives. It’s quiet the rest of the way. They eventually make it to their stake-out location. They stay a good distance away from the facility in the woods. They eat some of the snacks and food Logan had acquired from the gas station and sleep. Halfway through the week, they keep a close eye on the facility, sometimes getting really close to the building to get a better look. They haven’t seen anything unusual yet. “Ok, I’m going to say it and it may sound bad but…this is the most boring and anti-climatic stakeout we have been on. I mean nothing is happening and usually I would be ok with that, but there is like nothing to do.” “We could drink,” Logan says holding up the two cases of beer he bought untouched, shockingly. Morph looks at the cases and then back at Logan. “You know what, why not? What’s the worst that could happen?”

They both originally planned to drink only two beers each, which then turned into one of the cases, which then turned to both the cases. Logan doesn’t get drunk, hell he could be categorized as he couldn’t get drunk. He’d had to drink so many bottles just to be shit-faced. Morph on the other hand was for the most part a lightweight. You give them a few shots of tequila: drunk. Some vodka: drunk. About four glasses of wine: drunk. For some reason though beer did not do that, so when in total they had about 12 beers they just felt tipsy, a little buzzed if you will. They definitely were a lot more giggly and way more talkative, if that was even possible. They both were finishing their last beers leaning on the hood of the car. “This is really nice Logan.” Morph has a bit of red dusted on their cheeks. “You know what would be more fun though…~”. They tug at Logan’s flannel. “Morph as much as I’d like to I think you had one too many.” “Logan I’m only tipsy. C’mon, you know what I’m like when I’m drunk. This is not that.” Logan looks at Morph. “I’m…not so sure. I think it would be better if we didn’t Morph.” Logan takes another swig of his beer and feels their grip get tighter on his flannel. He then starts to hear sniffling. His head whips to look at Morph. Tears coming out of their eyes. “Morph- wait- what’s wrong bub? Did I say something wro-” “Do you not like having sex with me anymore?” Logan is caught off guard by that question. “What? Where the hell is that coming from? Morph I don’t understand…” Morph looks at Logan, clutching his flannel. “You barely hang out with me anymore. We don’t get to go out and do things anymore and you barely come to me to be your fuck buddy. Logan I…” Morph stops themselves. They don’t know what came over them. Sexual frustration? Their love for Logan? Their jealousy of Scott being Logan’s new favorite fuck buddy? Their grip loosened on his flannel. “I’m...sorry Logan I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t mean to-”. They are cut off by Logan kissing them. They instantly kiss back holding onto his waist. They both pull away for air. They look into Logan’s hazel-green eyes. “Morph. I don’t want you to think I forgot about you. Besides us being fuck buddies, you’re my best friend and I’d do anything for you. I’m…” Logan was obviously struggling to open up and talk. “I’m sorry that…that I haven’t been around you so often. I love spending time with ya Morph. I don’t want you to ever think that you're just a second thought.” “You mean it?” “I do.”

They kiss again and wrap their arms around each other. They get into the backseat of the car. Both of them slowly undress, taking their time. Morph sits on Logan’s lap running their hands through his hair and tugs a little, causing him to groan. Logan nips at Morph’s neck and runs his hands up and down their sides. Morph grabs a small lube bottle and puts it on Logan’s hand. He then rubs Morph making sure they are all slicked up and ready for him. Morph whimpers a bit and kisses Logan’s neck. Logan also puts a little on his dick because a little extra lube never harmed anyone. “You still wanna sit on my lap or lay down?” Morph thinks for a second, “Laying down, there’s enough space I think.” Logan places Morph underneath him making sure they both have enough room to be comfortable. “Ready?” “Yeah.” Logan slowly pushes in and eventually starts to move. He moves slowly but with a little bit of roughness. He grunts as he moves and kisses them. “Kevin~.” Logan moans. Morph had never heard Logan use their actual name when they had intercourse, but they knew they loved it. “Yeah, Logan keep on going.” They stare into each other's eyes and kiss, both moaning each other's names. As they both get closer to the edge Logan holds Morph tightly. “Kevin~, fuck I’m so close baby.” Baby. That was new. All of this was new and Morph loved it. “Yeah, keep on going hun I’m almost there too.” Morph cradles Logan’s head with one of their hands as the other grips Logan’s back. Logan lets out a few more grunts and moans at climax causing Morph to finish as well. They lay there like that for a while.
The last three days were sweet. During the daytime, they did their usual routine seeing if the facility was harboring any mutants and at night they made love together. The last day they came to the conclusion that there was nothing suspicious going on and left. Logan drove them both back to the X-men mansion, only stopping halfway through to get gas and some snacks. They made it home late at night. Logan parked the car in the garage and they both grabbed their things. Morph was going to say something when Scott came through the garage door. He smiled when he saw Logan. “How did the stakeout go?” “Nothing much, Slim. No harbored mutants just a facility.” “Sounds like you had fun.” Scott jokes. “Oh yeah a blast, bub.” Scott turns to go back inside and Logan starts to follow. Morph grabs his arm before he steps foot inside. “Wait, Logan.” Logan turns to them. “I…I had a lot of fun with you. Do you want to maybe hang out tonight in my room? I could use some help knitting if ya wouldn’t mind.” They both hear Scott calling for Logan. “Sorry bub, gotta talk to Scott and then will probably hit the hay. Maybe later this week?” “Yeah, I guess…I guess that’s fine.” They let Logan’s arm go and watch them head inside. A few minutes later they head inside and up to their room, they see Jean on the couch looking a bit frustrated and worried. They sit next to her. “Hey, Jean.” She jumps a little startled. “Oh my, Morph I didn’t realize you were there.” Morph chuckles, “I’m told I’m quite light on my feet. You ok Jean you seem a little on edge.” “Yeah I’m ok just, you know the usual stress of being an X-man and relationships.” Morph could sense some tension. “Tell me about it.” It’s quiet. “Well, I’m here if you need me Jean if you ever wanna talk.” She looks up at Morph. “Thank you Morph, that’s very kind of you.” Morph smiles at her and heads back up to their bedroom. They unpack, shower, and get ready for bed, but before they do they head to the kitchen to make some tea. They don’t really want to wait for water to boil so they throw a mug with water into the microwave for about 2 minutes. They take it out and put a bag of peppermint tea in the water and let it seep for a bit. They toss the bag and take the mug up the stairs to their room. As they walk up they accidentally bump into someone almost spilling the hot tea. They were about to shoot a glare since it was quiet and everyone was sleeping, but when they looked up and saw Scott they just froze. “Oh, sorry Morph. I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” Morph just stays quiet as Scott continues on his way to Logan’s room. Logan’s room. Morph scurries to their room and sets their tea down. They don’t know if it’s just pure jealousy and hurt that comes over them, but they start to sob. After the last few nights, Morph thought things would be different. They didn’t expect Logan to jump right back to Scott once they got back to the mansion. What about him calling them baby? Or using their name during their intimate acts? They lie on their bed, forgetting about their tea, and cry. They should have known better to get ahead of themselves thinking Logan actually liked them like that. It’s all just casual.

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A month or two went by and Morph tried to avoid Logan somewhat. They did their best to hang out with Logan or hook up occasionally, but they wanted to keep a distance. Especially after what had happened after the stake-out mission. So, Morph would hang out with Jean a lot. It seemed like she was also lonely and needed someone to hang out with. Morph was getting ready. Jean and them were going to go to a new cafe that opened up and they wanted to try some of the drinks and pastries. Morph gets out of the shower with a towel on. They go through their closet trying to figure out what to put on. They don’t notice Logan sitting on their bed. “So what are ya looking for bub?” Morph jumps from the silence in their room being broken. They turn to face Logan. “You know a knock would have been appreciated.” Morph says, probably more annoyed than they meant to sound. Logan chuckles, “Sorry Morph, thought it would be ok if I just came in. So what are you getting ready for?” “I’m going to a new coffee shop that opened up with Jean. She said that Scott was going to be busy with you today so.” “Ah, right.” There’s silence. “What time are ya leaving then?” “Probably 2 hours or so.” Logan gets up from the bed and walks to Morph. “Well…that gives us time to you know.” Logan wraps his arms around Morph’s waist. “Sorry Logan not now.” Logan is a little shocked at Morph’s response. They usually always want to. “Is something wrong Morph? I mean I get it if ya don’t want to, but recently I feel like you don’t really want to be around me.” Morph stares into their closet looking at their outfit options. They take a deep breath and turn their face slightly to look at Logan. “Look, Logan, I just haven’t been in the mood recently. I just am trying to do things on my own and figuring out things.” They turn back to the closet to go through their clothing items once more. “Oh uh, ok Morph. Ya know I’m always here for ya if you need me right?” “I know.” It’s silent once again. “Ok, well I’ll leave ya to get ready to hang out with Jean. Hope ya both have fun.” Logan exits Morph’s room and closes the door. “Yeah, I will.”

Morph decides to wear something simple. A pair of dark blue jeans and a black tank top that has a turtle neck. They grab their cropped X-men jacket and throw on a pair of black boots. They morph into their “normal” form and throw on some silver dangling earrings. As they go down the stairs they bump into Scott. “Sorry.” “Don’t worry Morph. Make sure nothing happens to my wife.” Scott jokes. “Right.” Scott continues up the stairs and Morph descends them. Jean is waiting near the door. “Hey, Jean! Sorry, it took me a sec to figure out what to wear based on the weather. For it being Fall it sure is warm.” Morph notices a troubled look on Jean’s face and places a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, you ok?” Jean snaps out of it and looks at Morph. “Oh, my bad Morph. I think I am thinking too much about things right now. Are you ready to go?” “Of course I am.” They arrive at the coffee shop. Surprisingly, they came at the perfect time when it wasn’t too busy. “Wow, this place looks fantastic,” Morph says as they look at the plants. “What do ya think you're going to order Jean? I know they have an assortment of coffees.” “Hmmm let’s see.” Jean looks over the menu with Morph. They decided to order two drinks and pastries each so then they could try a few things. They both sit in a booth as they wait. “So, how are you and the husband?” Morph asks. “Oh, we’re good. Scott is a sweetheart, although I do miss spending time with him. I mean…I just don’t want to sound rude or ungrateful.” Morph places their hand on Jean’s. “Hey, you know you can tell me. I don’t kiss and tell.” Jean stares at Morph. “Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to talk about it,” She sighs. “It’s just I do enjoy the fact that Scott and Logan are getting along well now. It is nice how they aren’t at each other’s throats constantly.” She goes quiet for a second. “But I miss Scott. I feel like he’s never around me anymore. He is always with Logan or dealing with plans for the X-men. It feels like I have an empty spot in my bed. It's like having a roommate, not a husband. I guess I just miss him despite the fact he’s still there.” She looks at Morph. “I’m sorry that was a lot. I let myself talk for too long I-” “No. No, no, no, no. You’re alright Jean. I will say I’ve never heard ya talk so much before. I feel like you deal with everyone else's problems you don’t have time to talk about yours. Have you told anyone else about this?” “Just Storm. She’s like a sister to me.” “Well, she always knows what to say so.” Their drinks and pastries arrive. “I’m excited to try these.” Morph sees Jean thinking. “Hey,” Morph squeezes her hand a bit. “Let’s focus on having fun right now. No boy problems. Just two friends drinking coffee and eating pastries.” Jean smiles. “That sounds lovely.” They end up staying there for 4 hours talking about random things, including boy problems. The boy problems being Logan and Scott. “So you and Logan are close, right Morph?” Morph looks up from their drink. “Hm? Yeah, we are, why?” Jean is quiet for a moment. “May I ask how close?” Morph looks back down at the drink. “I’m assuming you’re speculating there is more going on with me and Logan than just friends?” Jean nods her head. “Well…I mean it’s nothing serious. Just occasionally we do hook up. Just promise me you won’t tell anyone, Jean, please. I don’t think Logan would care if people found out it's just…” Morph looks into their cup. “You love him don’t you?” Morph looks at Jean and awkwardly laughs a little. “Is it that obvious?” Jean smiles. “I don’t think many catch on in the mansion, but even me being a psychic doesn’t mean I have to peer into your mind to know. Your words, gaze, and looks show it otherwise.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “Have you told him?” “No.” “Do you plan on ever telling him?” “I…I do not know.” Morph sighs and places a hand on their forehead. “I just don’t wanna risk things, possibly lose my best friend. I’ve known Logan for so long. If he says no I don’t things will be the same and if he says yes, I mean that would be fantastic but I don’t think that’s a realistic option. And if he were to break up with me I know he would run off or never speak to me again.” Morph pauses. “I just am scared Jean.” “Morph, I’m sure Logan feels the same way. I feel like he adores you.” “Can you use your psychic powers to see?” Jean smiles sadly. “Sorry Morph I don’t like to poke and prod into people’s minds without permission. Sometimes,” she sighs. “Sometimes, it’s better not to…” Now Jean is looking into her cup. “Did you see something in someone’s mind you didn’t want to see?” “It’s more like what I saw hurt.”

It was Scott and Storm’s idea for the X-men to all spend some bonding time together. They picked out a mutant-friendly bar to go to at night. They all go in separate vehicles or get a taxi, but everyone pretty much goes to the bar: Scott, Jean, Beast, Storm, Logan, Morph, Rogue, and Gambit. Everyone is having a good time drinking and having fun. Everyone is laughing. Rogue and Gambit have a drinking contest, Logan tries to challenge Storm to a drinking contest but she refuses politely. Morph and Jean sit next to each other. Jean and Morph are drinking beers, but Jean is on her 4th while Morph is on his 2nd. They notice that Jean has been drinking a few more than usual, and even then she doesn’t drink much or often. Morph places a hand on her shoulder as they sit at the bar. “Hey…you ok? You’re pounding those beers like they barely have any.” “I’m ok Morph, just thought I’d try something different.” “Okay?” The night continues on and at this point, Jean has had about 9 bottles of beer. She was about to order another one, but Morph stops her. “Whoa, slow down cowgirl. You're still working on your 9th beer. Let’s take a break from drinking.” Jean looks at Morph obviously tipsy. “Morph I’m ok. I am a grown woman who can make her own decisions.” “How bout we talk for a little bit instead before you order another beer?” “Fine.” “Good. So anything you want to talk about in particular?” Jean thinks for a moment. “I don’t know why I am not enough for Scott.” Morph’s face drops. Uh oh. This can go either one of two ways: Jean gets upset and starts to cry which then will probably cause Scott to come over and may lead to drama, or she forgets what she is saying and moves on to talk about something else. Jean has only been drunk once and she can be very caring and emotional, but if you make her upset it is not great. “Oh, do you want to talk about that then?” “Yes. Yes, I do.” Jean takes a deep breath and a swig of her beer. “I feel like I lost him along the way. I’m…I’m not sure how. I don’t know if it’s because he’s only been with me for so long or what. I just wished… I wish he would have talked to me about it. I saw something in his mind.” Morph teases Jean, “Thought you don’t look in people's minds without permission?” In response, she glares at them. Morph puts their hands up in mock surrender showing they meant no harm. “I don’t but Scott is my husband and he wasn’t talking to me. I was worried something was wrong. I was anxious and scared. I looked and saw that…” “Him and Logan?” Jean looks at Morph with eyes slightly filled with tears. She quickly wipes them away. “Yes. I just…I don’t get it. If Scott had just come to me to ask about it…I would have preferred that. I could care less if he wanted to explore his sexuality, but it’s the fact he went behind my back with Logan. He cheated on me.” There's a short pause. “I can’t take this anymore. I want Scott back. I want my husband back Morph. I feel like I’m not enough. We haven’t had sex in two months. I miss him.” Morph comforts Jean. She looks up and sees Scott waving, she waves back and is about to get off the stool when Logan walks past her and Morph. Scott was waving at Logan. She orders another beer. Morph is upset. Upset that Logan prefers Scott. Upset that Scott has gone behind Jean’s back and cheated on her. Upset that they can’t have the man they want. They hop off the bar stool. Jean looks at them. “Morph where are you going?” “I’m leaving for tonight, if anyone asks I’m heading back to the mansion.” Before Morph moves they look at Jean. “And Jean? You deserve so much more.” Morph exits the bar and walks. Logan notices Morph is nowhere to be around. He goes up to Jean. “Hey Red, have you seen Morph anywhere? Whoa, easy girl don’t fall.” Jean was swaying a bit. “Huh? Oh, Morph yes.” She stares off into the distance. “What did you ask again?” “I asked where did Morph go.” “Oh, they left back to the X-men mansion.” “I see. Let me get your husband Red yo-” “I want Storm.” Logan stops in his tracks. “What?” Jean looks Logan straight in the eyes. “I said I want Storm to take me home.” “Oh, ok? Whatever ya want pretty lady.” Logan goes to Storm telling her Jean wants her to take her home. Storm walks over to Jean right away. Logan comes back up to Scott. “Hey did you do something to piss off your wife?” Scott looks confused. “No, I haven’t. Why did she say she was upset at me?” “No, she just wanted Storm to take her back to the X-men mansion instead of you.” Scott looks for Jean, but she and Storm left already. “Anyways I’m gonna go look for Morph. I’ll see you later Boy Scout. Be safe.”

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Morph walks down the street. ‘Stupid.’ They think to themselves. ‘Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.’ This night had been rough. Morph figured it would be a great time, but no. No. Nothing can ever go right just once. Is it selfish they wanted just one night? Just one night where Logan would maybe look at them instead of Cyclops. Morph continues to walk down the street and through a park. They sit on the bench and look up into the sky. Despite the light pollution of the city, you could still make out some of the stars in the sky. They lean back and take a deep breath. ‘Why am I a fool? Why?’ Morph thinks to themselves as they bury their face into their hands. ‘Things would be so much easier if I never fell in love with him. So much easier. Why did I ever agree to just sleep around with him? It’s not what I want. I want more. I just want him.’ Morph’s thoughts spiral into whys and yearning. All of a sudden they hear footsteps and as they look up they see Logan heading towards them. They freeze. Unsure of what to do. They were upset. Pissed. Hurt. Morph gets up from the park bench and starts to walk in the opposite direction of Logan, unsure of where they're going. They just didn’t want to be around him. “Morph, where are ya heading?” Logan asks. Morph gives no response and continues to walk. “Morph where the hell are you going?” Logan speeds up his walking. Morph speeds up theirs as well to make sure a distance stays between them and Logan. Logan picks up his pace, fast walking towards Morph. Morph notices the woods in front of them and in a moment of uncertainty, runs into it. They spring through. Heart pumping and legs going as fast as they could. They didn’t know why they were running at this point. Between the mixture of not wanting to talk to Logan and wanting to avoid any confrontation about anything, the adrenaline courses through making them run anywhere they could.

Unfortunately though, due to such a quick adrenaline-rushed action, Morph catches their foot on a loose root and falls over face-first into the dirt. They get up groaning and wiping themselves up and hear other footsteps stop behind them. They don’t turn around, knowing it’s Logan. He’s panting a bit. “Geez Morph. Giving me a run for my money I see. Never thought you could run so fa-”. “Leave me alone Logan.” “What’s wrong bub?” Morph doesn’t say anything for a few minutes. They feel anger arise in them, jealousy, and tears start to flow down their face, but their back is still turned to Logan. “Just go away.” “No. I ain’t going to until-”. As Logan speaks he tries to place a hand on Morph’s shoulder, causing it to be grabbed and moved away harshly as Morph interrupts him. “No. Just go.” Logan forces Morph to look at him by turning him around. This does not sit well with Morph and they end up punching Logan in his jaw. “Go away, Logan.” Logan is stunned. “What is wrong with ya Morph?!” Logan shouts pissed. “Just go away Logan. I’m not in the mood to deal with your shit.” “No. You just punched me in the jaw. Obviously, something is wrong. So cut the crap and tell me.” Logan grabs Morph again to make them face him. This, again, upsets Morph and they try and get out of Logan’s grasp. They grab his arm and push him away. Logan is now upset and charges at Morph. They fight for a long time. Fists are thrown. Legs are kicked. At some point, they both are exhausted but still continue to try and fight each other. Logan gets the upper hand and holds Morph down by their shoulders. Morph squirms, too tired to fight back. “Morph calm down.” Morph tries to continue to get out of Logan’s grip. Logan, at this point, is completely past his limit. “KEVIN!” he yells. This makes Morph stop and look up at Logan, panting from trying to fight. Logan looks into their eyes, “Stop.” Morph looks to the floor. Everything sinks in and they start to cry. Logan stares at Morph confused about why Morph is acting the way they are. He just stays there as Morph cries. “Do you want to talk about it now?”

Morph calms down from crying and slowly gets up. Logan takes his hands off their shoulders. “No. There is nothing to talk about.” They turn to leave, but Logan grabs their wrist. “No, Morph. Please talk to me. You’ve never fought me like this, except that one time you were under Sinister's control. What is wrong?” “Just drop it, Logan. It doesn’t matter.” “Like hell, it doesn’t. You and I just fought for a damn while and now you’re going to walk away and not tell me why? I don’t think so.” Morph glares at Logan. “Fine! You really want to know? Fine Logan, I’ll tell you since apparently, you’re way too dense to even think for yourself.” Morph is fuming. Words coming out of their mouth quicker than their thoughts. “I am upset. I am hurt and jealous.” “Morph what in the hell are you talking-” “Shut up. I am not done.” Morph’s breaths are sharp and heavy. “You just….God, you are infuriating. You spend all your time with Scott. I’m just always there on the backburner if you need me for one thing and one thing only. That stupid stakeout we had to do. We got back to the mansion and I wanted to hang out with you for a little Logan. Just a little. But no. I saw Scott coming out of your room that night after YOU told ME you were “tired”.” Morph bitterly laughs. “And then tonight. God, you and Scott are so stupid. Jean knows about you two and she is fucking pissed and rightfully so. I mean Jesus Logan, you go and cheat with her husband. You leave me behind to just fuck him. I know you do the whole “no strings attached thing”, but do you ever once take into consideration anyone's feelings?!” Logan looks at Morph upset. “You know you and me are “no strings attached”. If you had such a problem why didn’t you stop Morph? You know you could have left anytime.” Morph grunts. “No, I couldn’t”. Logan’s eyebrows raise. “Yes, you could’ve. Nothing is holding you back Morph. I do not get where this is all coming from. This isn’t you.” “You’re dense Logan.” “What?” Morph looks at Logan. Their eyes are tired and sad. “I can’t stop. This is the only way I can get close to you…” “Morph you aren’t making any sense-”. “Jesus Logan, I am in love with you.” Morph blurts out. There is silence. The air is thick with tension. Morph feels their heart drop and Logan stares at the ground.

“Do ya mean that?” There’s a long pause. “Yes. Yes, I do.” Silence. “This was a mistake, Logan. Just forget I said anything.” No response. “Logan?” Morph looks up and Logan is right in front of their face. “Logan, what are you doing?” “You really feel that for me?” Morph looks at Logan reading his face, seeing that Logan is genuinely asking. “Yes. I love you.” Logan kisses Morph. Morph just stands there shocked not knowing how to react. He pulls back away from Morph. “Do you want to go back to the mansion?” He holds their hands in his own. “Logan, I’m confused. You really are a difficult man.” Logan places a hand on their cheek. “You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen or known Morph. I…I like you a lot. I’m not good with feelings. Relationships. You know I keep everyone at a distance.” He looks up at them. “I want to treat you right tonight. Nothing that we usually do. I want to take my time. Show you how much you mean to me. Please.” Morph knew this was a stupid idea. They knew that this most likely would not play out the way they wanted. Their gut instinct was screaming at them to say no, but their heart was screaming louder. Logan had said he liked them a lot. Maybe…maybe there was a chance. “Yeah, let’s head back to the mansion.” It’s quiet walking back as they hold hands. They reach the front door and walk to Morph’s room. Morph sits on the bed as Logan closes and locks the door. He slowly makes his way over to them and sits next to them. They both stare at each other for a little. They lean in and kiss. Everything is slow, soft, and caring. Different from all the times they had done it before. As they finish and both start to fall asleep, Morph hears Logan mumble “I love you.” The night goes by and Morph wakes up and slowly opens their eyes seeing Logan is gone. They sit in bed waiting for an hour thinking he went to do something really quick. 2 hours. 3 hours. Morph looks down at the sheets tears in their eyes and thinks, ‘… he's not coming back is he?’

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Warning: Depressed Jean and Morph

The past few weeks had been rough on Morph. Logan had not spoken to them since then unless it was regarding a mission or activity amongst the X-Men. Morph had also been lacking in performance when it came to daily training. Always getting hurt in the danger room as if their mind was elsewhere. After getting banged up again in the training room, they walked down to Beast’s lab to get patched up. The doors slide open, and Beast looks up from the microscope he was peering into as he was taking notes. “Again, Morph?” “Yeah, Beast, again.” Beast sighs and gets up from his desk. “All right, you know the drill. Hop up onto the table, and we’ll check your injuries.” Morph sits on the cold, metallic table, waiting for Hank as he grabs supplies. “So what are ya working on, Beast?” Beast speaks as he is gathering a first aid kit. “Oh, not much, just studying blood cells.” “What for?” “Oh, just to see how much they differ from human blood cells.” He sets down the first aid kit and starts to clean up a few scratches here and there. “I think it is my place to bring up concerns about this Morph. You’ve been getting injured more often while in the danger room as if you were distracted. Do you have something on your mind, perhaps?” Morph says nothing. “Morph. You have been coming in here almost every day, and it is a bit concerning. If there is something you need to talk about, I am here, and so are the other X-Men. Why not talk to Wolverine-” “No.” Beast looks up at Morph. “Did you guys get into a fight or something?” “No, I just don’t think it would do much to tell him how I am feeling.” Morph sounds very upset, and Beast sighs. “Look, I am not gonna press on what happened, but you need to talk to someone, Morph. If this continues, we may have to have an intervention. Just think about it, ok? Find someone you trust to talk to.” Beast packs up the first aid kit, and Morph gets off the table. “Thanks, Beast.” They say this as they leave the room.

Morph walked down the hall, thinking about what Beast had said. ‘Someone to talk to…’ It clicked. Morph knew exactly who to talk to. They walked up the stairs to the room and knocked. “Hey Jean, ya busy?” Jean opens the door, still in pajamas. “Did you sleep in today?” “No, just didn’t want to get up.” “Well, I was wondering if you were up for it. Maybe we could go out and get coffee and talk.” Jean blankly stares at Morph. “Uh, Jean?” Morph waves their hand a bit in front of her face. “Huh? What?” She blinks. “I…did I space out?” “Yeah, you did.” Morph frowns. “Jean, are you ok, cause-” “Morph, I just…I just need to be alone right now, ok?” “Oh, ok, Jean, I hope you feel better.” “Thanks, Morph.” She closes the door. Morph continued to walk down the hall to their room. They open the door and close it as they lay their head against it. They turn around to face their room. It was messy, and things were dusty. They crawl into their bed with their blankets. “Someone to talk to...” They mumble to themselves. Staring up at the ceiling, they think. Think about how to get out of their slump. Think about what they should start cleaning in their room. Think about…Logan. Logan had been on their mind, even though they tried to push it down as hard as they could. Tears well up in their eyes. “No, no, no, no…” They bury their face in their pillow. “Stop…” They just think of all the good times Wolverine and they had over the many years of knowing each other. They rip their blankets off and sit up, frustrated. They do their best and start to clean, hoping it will distract them from thinking about Logan. They pick up thing after thing, dust off their shelves, and organize their trinkets. After a bit, they look at their room. It was mostly cleaner and did not look as bad as earlier. They walk over to their window and open the curtains, letting the sun in. They just stand in the warmth, absorbing the sun's rays, helping them calm down further, taking deep breaths. They then heard a knock on their door. They walk away from the window to their door and open it. “Yes, what-” Morph stops mid-question, seeing it is Logan. Logan looks up at them, smirking. “What ya up to, Morph?”

Morph just stares at Logan for a few seconds before speaking. “Nothing. What are you doing here?” Logan lets himself into Morph’s room. “Nothing. I just wanted to see if you were up to spending some time together.” Logan sits on Morph’s bed. Morph’s heart was racing; they knew what he meant, but they couldn't. “I think you should leave Logan.” Logan looks up, eyebrows raised. “What? You don’t wanna spend time together?” “No, I don’t. I don’t wanna fuck you right now. I just want space.” Logan stands up, looking hurt, like his ego was slightly bruised. “Morph, c’mon. Why not have some fun?” Logan reaches to hold Morph’s hand, but they pull away. “Morph?” “Out, Logan.” “What the hell has gotten into you?” Morph glares at Logan, to which Logan scowls back. “Are you really that dense?” “Watch it, bub, we may be close but-” “Close? Close?! That’s fucking rich Logan.” Logan is starting to get irritated. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Morph chuckles bitterly. “Oh my god, Logan, are you serious right now? Do you really not know why I am upset?” “No, I do not wanna elaborate.” Morph sits on the bed and takes a deep breath. “I told you I loved you.” “...I know.” “And you said it back.” “...I did.” Morph looks up at Logan. “Then why were you not in bed the next morning with me?” Logan doesn’t respond and just stares out the window. “Because I just…I don’t do relationships all right.” He sounded cold. “I stayed in bed hoping you’d come back, thinking you went to go do something.” “Yeah, well, you shouldn’t have done that.” “Fuck you.” Logan raises his eyebrows. “What?” Morph looks up at him pissed. “I said fuck you, Logan. Fuck you, for making me think and hope that you did love me.” “Hey, I didn’t ask for-” “Ask for what?! You’re going to blame your problems on me. How you won’t commit to anyone?!” “Hey, that’s not fair-” “Screw being fair! Logan, you weren’t fair to me. You HURT me. I told you I was in love with you. You slept with me and you said you LOVED ME!” There’s silence for a long time. “I’m not doing this anymore, Logan. This thing we have going on, I’m done. I don’t want to be hurt anymore, and I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.” Logan looks down at the ground, eyebrows furrowed. “Kevin. I never meant to hurt you.” “You did.” “I know.” They don’t talk for a good five minutes. “Do you love Scott?” That got Logan’s attention. “What? No, why would you think that?” Morph sighs, “I just wanted to know. Jean is not doing well, and I’m not sure if it’s because she thinks that you and Scott like each other.” Logan looks guilty, he never wanted to hurt Jean. He cared about her too much. “Jeanie isn’t doing well?” “No, she isn’t.” Logan sighs, looking guilty for everything. He hurt his best friend and hurt the woman he cared about dearly. “I wanted to stop. I thought Scott and I would hook up a few times. I- I never expected this to go on for so long.” “Logan, I’m gonna ask you again: do you love Scott?” “I…I care about him, but I don’t love him.” “You’ll always choose him over me.” Morph looks up at Logan, a painful smile on their face. “Well, I hope you’re happy, Logan.”

The next morning, Morph packs. They had talked to Professor Xavier about needing some time away to get a clear mind. Professor Xavier, knowing about what was going on, had told Morph yes with no hesitation. Morph did not tell anyone, wanting to keep this private. They especially did not want Logan to know. If he knew, he’d do whatever not to let Morph go. Hell, he’d even track or follow Morph and try to convince them to stay. They packed a simple duffle bag with essentials and a few other things. They weren’t sure where they were heading or when they’d be back, but they knew it was for the best. They take their bag to the garage and place it in a hidden spot. As they leave, they bump into Scott, who was walking to his car. “Sorry, Scott.” “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” “Scott, can I ask ya something?” His eyebrows raised, sure, Morph and he talked here and there, but nothing more than that. “Sure, what’s up?” “You and Logan…I’ve known about it for a while and I’m just curious…do um…do you love him?” Scott freezes for a second. “How do you know about-?” “I figured it out. Jean and I both figured it out a while back.” Scott goes quiet, lips pursed, and face pale. “She…she knows?” “Scott, you can’t be serious. She’s your wife and a telepath.” “I thought I was being careful.” Morph sighs. “Do you love Logan?” “I don’t know. Why jealous?” Morph looks up, surprised Scott would say something like that. “Why would it matter?” “I’m assuming you love Logan.” “Yeah, I do.” “Well, Logan told me he loved me,” Scott tells Morph. Their heart drops, and it feels like the world has stopped. Logan told Scott he loved him. “Are you being serious?” “Yes.” That was the final straw for Morph. They marched back into the mansion. Head not in the right place, they slam Logan’s door open. Logan jumps, surprised, wide-eyed, looking at Morph. “You are a fucking liar Logan Howlett!” Logan gets up from bed and walks up to Morph. “Morph, what are you talking about?” “Don’t bullshit me. I just talked to Scott, you told him you loved him?!” Logan just stands there, unsure of what to say. Morph laughs bitterly, “I hope you’re happy with a married man. I am through with you. I hate you, Logan.” Morph walks away, and Logan follows after trying to talk to Morph. Morph goes to the garage and grabs their bag. “Where are you going?” Morph doesn’t respond and rushes out of the garage. Logan tries to follow, but Morph shifts into Quicksilver, running away as fast as they can. Logan falls to his knees, mind spinning. What had he done?