Work Text:
1)
Of the many things Erik Selvig is unable to understand about the inner-workings of SHIELD, the relationship between Clint Barton and Phil Coulson is probably the greatest mystery he has yet to solve.
It is no secret to anyone at SHIELD, that Selvig does not think much of Barton. Many believe this has to do with the fact that it is an open secret the archer was sent to spy on Selvig as the latter studied the Tesseract. The need to keep a close watch on their scientists was a rather hard lesson learned by SHIELD but they could understand how one, unused to the threat of villainy, would be resentful of being watched. Plus, Barton’s gruff manner could sometimes be off-putting to those he wouldn’t allow in his inner circle.
So, whenever Selvig sneered, ”The Haawwk,” when speaking of Barton, no one really thought anything of it. However, it was more than those things that put Barton on Selvig’s shit list.
Yes, he found the archer gruff and unfriendly but he was a scientist – his whole industry was full of gruff and unfriendly not to mention eccentric and insane. None of those personality traits helped when trying to get a long with people and Selvig had learned how to navigate those particular traits, long ago.
Yes, Selvig was irked by the idea of being watched but, also a scientist, he understood the need to protect an important (not to mention dangerous) piece of research. Not to mention the threat of that research falling into the hands of the gruff, unfriendly, eccentric and/or insane. He shuddered to think and so actually felt safer about being watched even though it was done at such a distance.
Working long hours would help him forget about the vigilant man but that would only cause him to startle whenever he would stop to take a stretch break. As he reached his arms up to the sky and yawned, he would open his eyes to be met with Barton’s silhouette sitting hundreds of feet above his head and anger would begin rising. The distance Barton kept made him feel that he and what he was doing was insignificant in the smaller man’s eyes. He wanted to run up there and shake him and tell him how important the Tesseract was or could be.
However, even this wasn’t the real reason behind his true animosity. No, the real reason stood in the figure of Agent Phil Coulson.
Selvig had found out through an overheard conversation that Coulson and Barton were a couple. He had been flabbergasted at the idea – particularly because, if he had not been told, he never would have been able to tell, otherwise. Of course it made sense that they would have to stay professional at work but Barton always seemed so cold in his demeanor.
Thor liked Coulson and so Selvig had grown to like the man, as well. Although he was a SHIELD Agent, he was a fair man with a dry sense of humor. It was evident he had Thor’s best interests in mind, as well, and that won a lot of points with the scientist. So, he found himself wanting what was best for Coulson.
In Selvig’s opinion, Clint Barton was not what was best for Coulson.
Selvig looked for small smiles and warm eyes whenever the two interacted but only ever found them in Coulson. Barton’s sentences were always clipped and to the point, he would only nod at the older agent in greeting, and he never seemed to respond to Coulson’s humor. Whatever Coulson might feel for Barton, it was difficult for Selvig to believe there was any reciprocity in the younger man. As such, he was honestly unable to see what Coulson saw in the other man except for the fact that he was a younger man who took care of his body. However, Selvig’s opinion of Coulson was much higher than that and so he refused to entertain the idea that might be it.
Still, it baffled him. He did not know Coulson well enough to ask him about his personal life and he wasn’t a teenage girl and so refused to bring his misgivings up in conversation with Jane and Darcy. So, he kept quiet and privately brooded, letting everyone think what they would about his attitude towards the archer.
2)
Of the many things the Tesseract is able to show Erik Selvig, the explanation as to what Loki sees in Clint Barton was not one of them.
He loved both the Tesseract and Loki. Now that he able to understand the Truth in all things, he felt an immense gratitude towards Loki and desired to give him everything he asked for. Sometimes this required the help of Clint Barton and this irked Selvig, no end. This new peace he had found within his being and not extended towards the archer and his prior distaste for the man echoed through Selvig's being every time he had to ask him for help. Selvig was not alone in this as he could read the distaste towards himself, mirrored in Barton's eyes. Still, they were both here for Loki -- both wanted all for Loki -- and so were willing to tolerate each other.
One thing Selvig was able to learn about the archer was his endless skill at resourcefulness. Perhaps this was the quality that drew Coulson to the younger man. Whenever anything was asked of him, he was able to produce. Loki needed a team of people he put to work and Barton knew exactly who to recruit. Selvig needed a rare metal and Barton would the person to locate it. Loki needed to know procedure or strategy adhered to by the inner workings of SHIELD and Barton proved undeniably knowledgeable.
This last, Selvig credited towards Coulson. It seemed obvious to him that it was their relationship that had made Barton privy to these secrrets. Coulson was close to Nick Fury and would have been able to pass this information along, knowingly or unknowingly during pillow talk. All the better for Loki. He would never be able to bring himself to thank the archer for it so he'll have to thank the agent the next time they saw each other.
Still, the archer's resourcefulness, though admired, did not soften the animosity Selvig felt towards him. Barton was still unable to understand the import of the Tesseract and seemed unable to open his heart fully towards it. He was as cold as ever and only ever spoke in terms of violence. This was an additional usefulness he presented for Loki, so that was a positive, but Selvig was sure Loki was disappointed that his original assessment that the archer, had heart, was incorrect.
Selvig flinched. No, "incorrect" was not the right term. Loki, his master, was never incorrect. He was right in all things. Selvig just hadn't been able to find this heart in Barton, himself. That was all.
The speed at which these thoughts ripped their way through his brain, left Selvig dizzy. When he resurfaced, it was to find that he felt disappointment at not having found the "heart" in Barton. Selvig did not know what to do with this. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at Barton.
"Barton? Do you want to know what I feel when I open myself to the Tesseract?"
"No," said the archer, without looking up or breaking the rhythm in his work.
Selvig sighed.
3)
Of the many things Selvig had gotten wrong about the past year, he could not believe that Clint Barton was one of them.
When he thought back on everything he had learned about the archer, he could not bring back the animosity he once felt towards the man. Selvig's memories of their time with Loki were still a little muddled and probably always would be. However, he could remember bits and pieces of his time -- his love for the Tesseract overriding his desire to escape; his need to please Loki overriding his hate and disappointment towards Thor's brother. These snatches of memories made him feel sick and he fought the desire to vomit.
However, amidst these bits and pieces was also the image of Clint Barton. Selvig remembered his admiration at the archer's resourcefulness and how it had been his lifeline to escape and, eventually, the key to the world's salvation. Not allowed to leave the workspace provided by Loki, Selvig heavily relied on Barton for the information and resources he needed. When he was planting the failsafe within Loki's contraption, he had not allowed himself to think too much of his plan or actions -- any thoughts towards escape or defying Loki leading to pain and a quick reworking of his brain. Instead, his hands had moved, seemingly of their own accord, and would periodically ask Barton for what he needed. Barton would always provide it for him, no questions asked beyond what was needed to procure the exact right thing.
For this alone, he owed Barton his life. However, it was more than that. He also also remembers the way the archer seemed to resist the full call of the Tesseract -- proving to be a much stronger man than Selvig. He also remembered the way Barton would turn Loki's attention from Selvig whenever the god would begin to invade his space. At the time, Selvig would fill with jealousy but, now, it just made him feel more sick. Not only his remembered jealousy but also what might have happened when the two would hide themselves behind closed doors.
Other small instances of the things Barton had done to insure not only Selvig's safety but also the others procured by Loki flashed through the scientist's mind and he was afraid he wouldn't be able to remember them all. Barton had borne it all with that same stalwart attitude he always showed. Even after he had been brought out of Loki's control, he had jumped right into the action to set things right and save the world.
Now, Selvig stood in the doorway of Coulson's hospital room and watched as he and Barton slept in a sweet embrace. The older agent was in much better health than when they had first seen him but it had been slow-going. Barton had not left the hospital since he was first allowed to see Coulson. From what Selvig had heard, it was difficult to get the archer to leave the room for food or sleep and so they allowed him to stay and had even found a larger bed so they could both fit comfortably.
Selvig still had not seen warm eyes or overt physical affection but perhaps they were not a couple who needed all of that.
Perhaps Coulson was lucky, after all...