Chapter Text
Through the Haze
As I dragged myself off the Quinjet groaning, I imagined the nap I would take on the couch in the living room. Would I sleep longer, better, and more peacefully in my room in my bed? Absolutely, but that is a farther walk than the couch. The mission I am returning from was a solo and fairly easy trip. Captain needed information about Hydra from one of their rundown, out of use bases. Steve told me it was probably abandoned, but I had to be vigilant in case it wasn’t. It was in fact abandoned and I got everything that Steve had asked for. Case after case, papers stacked all the way up to my chin when I was carrying them out. I also had to retrieve online documents for the team. That took the longest, involving me plugging in a hard drive and walking around the old base for 12 hours. After being awake for 22 hours straight, I was home. I could’ve slept on the way home to the tower, my mind was still on high alert after the mission.
Steve was waiting for me as soon as I got off the jet, standing tall with his arms crossed, a serious look on his face. Uh oh. He’s normally extra friendly once I get back from a mission. Extra nice to me in general to make up for his asshole best friend. Either I messed up real bad or he has very bad news for me. I sigh and walk up to him, determined not to let my own emotions of exhaustion cross my face.
“What’s up Stevie? You have some bad news for me or somethin’” I tried for a joking tone, but his own remained serious.
“I do, Y/n. I know you’ve been away for the past couple days on your own mission, but I need you to deploy again.”
“What why? I haven’t even walked back into the tower yet. What could possibly need to be done so immediately?” I know I’m technically talking to my captain right now, but I’m so tired that I don’t care.
“The team needs you to go back to Russia. There’s another base that we need information about immediately. You leave again today, as soon as the jet has been refueled and resupplied” His words were final, determined, but so were mine.
“Why can’t someone else go? Does it really have to be me alone again?”
“Yes it has to be you. Based on the amount of information that you got on the last mission. You won’t have to go alone though. I’m sending Bucky along with you.”
“No. I’m actually fine to work alone. I don’t need him to come along. I’ll work better by myself than with him.” I was not working alongside him on this “very” important mission. I don’t know why we don’t get along. He’s quiet with the others, but when it comes to me he can’t keep his insults to himself. Not that I’m much better, he knows exactly how to get under my skin. He is gorgeous though, I’ll give him that. All big muscles and dark eyes. And that metal arm… Steve brings me out of my daydream with his reply.
“You aren’t working alone on this mission. On the last mission, the base was abandoned, and had been for some time. The base that we are going to send you next is semi-active, and has a large chance of hostile agents waiting inside. He’s going as your bodyguard. It’ll be faster for you to find the files this way.” There was a finality in his words, but I wasn’t ready to give up. I can’t work with Bucky, I just can’t.
“Then send someone else with me, if you need me to have someone to cover my back.” I suggest. “I’ll be distracted by him. We don’t get along Steve.”
“I know you two don’t get along, but I don’t have a choice. Everyone else has a mission this week except Bucky. The information is vital, Y/n, we need you to retrieve it. Make it work.”
“Why did you have to wait for me to fly all the way back to America just to send me back to the frozen tundra of a country Russia is right now? I haven’t slept for most of that mission and won’t be at my best anyways.” But as I spoke I knew I wouldn’t be able to say no to Steve. Captain thing aside we were still friends, and I knew if he had the option he would send someone else with Bucky.
“Because your jet needs supplies. We’re wasting time Y/n. Go pack your bag and return to the hangar in 30 minutes, I need to go inform Buck of this mission as well”. With that he gave my shoulder a sympathetic squeeze as I yawned, and then turned to go find his friend. I sighed and picked by bag up from where I dropped it down at my feet. Might as well try and fit a shower in before I’m shipped off again.
The hot water relaxed my mind and muscles after my long weekend of work. I can’t sleep properly after a mission without a steamy hot shower, something Bucky always complains about when we have to work together. He claims I use all the hot water and that he can’t stand to hear me talk to myself while I’m in the bathroom. Whatever, screw him and his super soldier hearing. I keep thinking as I scrub my scalp clean about what the mission might hold. It probably won’t be very dangerous, considering Steve decided to only send two people. One bodyguard and one technical genius. We probably won’t even have to stay in a safe house this time, just get the files and get out.
My shower thoughts are interrupted by an aggressive banging on my bedroom door. Alarmed, I turn off the shower and wrap a towel around myself. I leave wet footprints as I walk to the door and my hair is dripping all down my body and the floor. I’m still soaking wet, but the banging is so loud that I panicked. I pull the door open forcefully, stopping the banging knock.
“What?” I said urgently, but my haste fizzled when I saw who was on the other side of the door. Bucky. I can tell he’s surprised by my appearance.
“We’re supposed to leave in 10 minutes. You might want to dry off before then.” His voice is deep and brusk, rushing me. I roll my eyes and open my mouth to reply.
“I’ll be down there when it’s time to go, James.” I’ve never called him Bucky to his face. I know that if I did it, feelings would come with the nickname. Feelings I can’t have for him, because he doesn’t have them for me.
I do hurry though, not wanting to ruin Steve’s mission plan. I towel dry my hair quickly before throwing clothes into a bag. I pack light, we won’t be there long. My hair is still damp as I quickly walk to the hangar, trying to stay on time. When I climb aboard the ship, Bucky who was talking to the captain, looked over to me. He finished his conversation with the pilot and walks over to me. I take a deep breath, getting my mind ready to fire back against him.
“Finally. Now that the princess is onboard we can leave.” He’s mocking me. I take the bait.
“I’m perfectly on time, James. So sorry that my shower inconvenienced you. Will my nap piss you off too? Or would you prefer me to be rested for our mission?” I snap at him.
“You’re two minutes late, actually. And no, I prefer you sleeping. You’re a lot less of a pain when you’re quiet. Even though you snore like a man.” With that, he turns and has the pilot prepare for takeoff, clipping himself into a seatbelt and looking at the wall, thinking I guess.
I roll my eyes and walk to the furthest seat from him, putting my own seatbelt on. I lean my head back against the wall, trying to find the most comfortable angle. The plane ride will be a few hours, I might as well try and catch up on some sleep before we get to the base.
After 15 minutes I give up. Sitting up right won’t work. I look over to Bucky, who’s still lost in thought. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I stand up and stretch, walking in a circle to move my legs. I feel his eyes on me, but he doesn’t say anything and neither do I. Once I’m all stretched out I go back over to my seat, squatting on the floor and fluffing my bag like a pillow. It’s small, but it will be better to rest my head on the bag and sleep on the floor than trying to keep my neck from breaking in the seat. The floor actually isn’t too bad, and I fall asleep almost immediately.
Hours later, I feel the landing gear deploy and I get up and go back to my seat. I check on Bucky again and his eyes are closed. I doubt he’s sleeping, focusing on the mission more likely. I wonder if he’s anxious about going back into a HYDRA base. I know he does missions like this all the time, but I feel bad for him, just a tiny bit. After all he’s been through, I wouldn’t blame him if he couldn’t face it.
I’m starting to feel a little anxious myself now that we’re close to landing. I know I don’t have to be worried though. Bucky and I might not get along personality wise, but our skills compliment each other well on missions, a reason we work with together often. He has incredibly heightened senses and is trained for any situation. With my technological background, I can find any mission plans, classified information, or wanted lists on HYDRA computers, along with great search techniques. I’m trained for field missions too of course, but I am much less skilled than Bucky is, the reason for him being my bodyguard in particular, to pick up my slack. Which is very embarrassing. I don’t want him to look at me like I’m weak, but I am compared to him.
We land, and Bucky immediately gets out of his seat and has his bag in hand, waiting for me. My seatbelt is stuck and it takes me a few seconds to get it unclipped, longer because he is staring at me, and once I have it unclipped I grab my bag, looking at him to lead the way.
“About damn time. Let’s move.” I don’t argue. I’m exhausted, my nap on the way not helping much. I know my place on this mission. Bucky is the lead until we get to the main computer room. Once I get the information he takes the lead again and brings us home. Simple.
Bucky sets a fast pace that I do my best to match. It’s freezing. I’m wearing a special winter suit, which involves a tight under layer with a thick coat and pants over top, my boots large and heavy, thick gloves on my hands; but I’m still so cold. My cheeks and nose are pink with cold and my teeth chatter. There’s inches of snow on the ground and more is falling as we walk. Bucky told me it was a 5 mile hike from where the jet dropped us off to the base. The asshole looks perfectly fine, not a single sign of discomfort from the man at all. He’s barely even wearing layers. Just heavy duty pants and a coat, thin gloves. I bet he’s only wearing a long sleeve under his coat and not a full suit too. Stupid winter solider.
I landed back at the tower in the middle of the night and I haven’t seen daylight at all today, unless you count the barely visible glow, completely throwing off my internal clock. It’s about 1 or 2 in the afternoon, but it’s still dark outside. Bucky said something about winter and it always being dark and blah blah blah. I would really love to see the sun though. Feel its warmth on my face.
After an eternity of walking, we’re on the outside of the base. I’m waiting for Bucky to give me orders, but he’s staring at the building, lost in thought once again. I wave my hand in front of his face, bringing him back to the present.
“Hello. What’s the plan,” I wanted to get this mission over with as soon as possible. He pushes my arm down roughly with his own gloved hand.
“Shut up. I’m thinking. Don’t let your loud mouth get us caught.” I huff, but whisper a reply.
“Steve said this place was abandoned,” My voice is so quiet it’s barely audible over the wind to my own ears, but I know he heard me.
“No, he said it was semi-abandoned. People still work here. I’m trying to determine if anyone is here. It’s hard to listen with your stupidity clogging my senses,” he whispered back.
I roll my eyes and step back away from him. Even though what he said was rude and annoying, I choose to listen to his order and stay as quiet as I can. I watch him concentrate, looking at the sharp lines of his face. I shake my head to clear my thoughts, when I have an idea. If he’s trying to hear voices in the base I need to make even less noise than I already am. I take some steps away from Bucky, giving him space and take a deep breath and hold it. Now I’m truly not making a sound. It’s been about 30 seconds when I see his head suddenly whip around to look at me. It startles me somewhat and I exhale and take a deep breath in, my brain hungry for air.
“You’re allowed to breathe, Y/n.” He gives me a strange look and it makes me feel guilty somehow, foolish too.
“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help you.” My voice isn’t a whisper, just small. Very out of character for me. He’s making me feel weird today, subdued. Maybe I’m just too tired to fight.
Bucky nods and waves me closer to him, taking a knee in the snow. I come close and do the same pointing my head down to avoid the icy wind, teeth still chattering.
“Ok, here’s the plan. There’s no one there. Not that I can hear anyway. The room with the files and computer that you need to access is pretty much in the middle of the base. I have the blue prints almost completely memorized, so I’ll lead us there. Once we’re in the room you can do your things and I stand watch over the door. Any questions?” His voice was brusk, but he was giving me that strange look again.
I shook my head no when he asked for questions. Only saying “I’m ready to follow whenever you’re ready,” Quietly in return.
He nodded and began to lead the way. Even though there wasn’t anyone in the building, our heads were on constant swivels, and Bucky kept us out of the line of sight for any camera’s. When we got to the door, it pushed open. It looked heavy, but Bucky opened it with ease. I stayed close but behind him the entire way to the room, neither of us speaking. I yawned frequently behind him as we moved, feelings the heaviness in my eyes start to way on me. I blinked hard as we continued. The base was lit, but barely. Very old and dull lights buzzed on behind us, and there was no heat in the building. Meaning I was still freezing, but at least had shelter from the cold breeze. I could still see my breath in icy clouds out in front of me.
When we got to the room we were looking for, Bucky went to push it open. Unlike the front door, however, this one did not open with a push. Bucky’s and my eyes met for a moment. I opened my mouth to question what we were going to do next, but instead he put a finger to my lips to keep me quiet. Normally, I’d fly off the handle at this, but something in the way he looked at me kept me quiet. I just gave a tired blink and nod instead. Bucky looked back at the door and took a few steps back guiding me behind him with his arm as he did so. He looked at me and pointed at where I was standing, and I again nodded my understanding. He went back to the door and placed his ear against it, listening.
Suddenly he kicked at the door, right by the handle and with an enormous “BANG” the door flew open. My mouth fell open, so much for being quiet. He poked his head in before turning back to look at me. He mouthed the words, “I’m going to check inside. You stay.” I squinted at him while we was talking, but I ultimately understood what he was communicating.
After a few minutes I began to grow more anxious as he looked around inside. I was worried about both of us. What if there really was someone in there and they got to him? What if he needed my help? I couldn’t wait any longer. I stepped inside the room.
It was divided up into multiple rooms. The main room had a huge computer screen, blank right now of course, and multiple other smaller computers around the room with keyboards and monitors. I had just started into another extremely dark room when I felt myself slammed against the wall, my head bouncing off the cement painfully. I tried to scream, to fight back, but my attacker had his hand pressed firmly to my mouth, not letting any sound out. He was definitely a man, huge in stature and had me pinned against the wall effortlessly. I started to panic when the man suddenly let me go, saying my name. My head was pounding.
“Y/n? What the fuck. I told you to stay in the hall. I thought you were a HYDRA agent.” It was Bucky, I think. He was whisper yelling at me, but all I could say in retaliation was a moan of pain.
My hand was on the back of my head, where it had hit the wall, and my legs weren’t too steady under me. This room was so dark I could barely see, with no windows or lights. I felt myself swaying, and I knew I was about to fall. I reached out for Bucky, grabbing a fist full of his coat to steady myself.
“Shit. Are you ok? Y/n?” He was still being very quiet, but his tone had lost the anger after realized that he had hurt me. I didn’t have my bearings fully back yet, still swaying heavily. I felt Bucky’s hands touch me, trying to stabilize me. One hand on my side and one coming up to meet my own on my head. I was breathing heavily, panting almost, trying to ground myself again.
“Y/n, answer me. Are you ok? What hurts?” I know he was trying to help, but that comment pissed me off enough to make me pull myself together. I pushed myself away from him, walking back to the main room where the computer that I need to access is.
“My head hurts, James. Some asshole slammed me into a wall” I said grouchily behind my shoulder, at full volume. No more whispering for me. All the concern was gone from Bucky’s voice in his next reply.
“Well maybe if you would follow orders for once, Y/n, I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I’m a highly trained solider, unlike the other person on this mission.” His voice was equally as loud as my own now, and I knew we needed to be quieter, but I didn’t care. He started this fight.
“Oh please. Without me you wouldn’t even be on this mission. You’re too big of an idiot to get the files we need.” My voice was at a yell now, but his was louder still.
“That’s right, if you weren’t the weakest agent on the team then I wouldn’t have to be here. I could be on an actually useful mission with the rest of my team!” His voice was a boom and his words were painful. Not only to my damaged head, but to my heart too. What he just said only confirms that he doesn’t respect me as a fellow teammate at all. My mouth was open, ready to keep shouting at him in the dark, when a wailing siren came on, making my head explode.
“Shit” we say in unison. Understanding that we have just been caught, we run back to the main room and out of the darkness.
“Are there anymore entrances to these rooms besides the door?” I have to yell for Bucky to hear me as he slams the open door closed and locks it.
“No. But you need to hurry and get the files downloaded so I can fight the agents off.” He pulls out a huge gun that was strapped to his back and all I do it nod. I feel horrible. I’m beyond exhausted, having no substantial sleep for over 30 hours, my head is going to pound out of my body, and now I have to find all these damn files Steve needs before Bucky and I get shot to death.
I scramble to the computer moving as fast as I can in my condition. I plug in the hard drive I brought into the computer as I search for all the needed documents. I hear pounding footsteps getting closer and closer to the room we’re in and I’m really starting to panic now. I select the files that need to be downloaded and wait for them to fully process.
“Can’t you move any fucking faster! I would like to live to see tomorrow,” Buck’y shouting at me, but all I can do is wait for the things to download. My breathing is starting to quicken rapidly when some sort of gas is sprayed throughout the room throughout the vents.
When the gas hits my nose and fills my lungs it burns like fire, no not fire, like chemicals. I cough furiously, tears streaming down my cheeks from the raw force my coughing fit has on my body. Bucky is fine though, unaffected by the gas completely. He comes to my side and takes a hard look at me. He makes a decision I guess cause he points at the computer and says, “I’ll fight the agents, as soon as this is done come to the door. Understand?”
All I can do is nod, still fighting for air. Bucky goes over to the door and opens it, just enough to shoot the agents coming after us. By the amount of shots he fires, I’m guessing there has to be around a dozen of them out there. By the time I finally get my coughing under control, the files are ready. I put the hard drive in my breast pocket and zip it tightly. The pocket is on my inner most layer, so I’m not worried about it.
I get to the door by Bucky, letting him know we’re ready. He nods at me and fires a couple more shots before saying, “I swear to God, Y/n, if you want to get out of this building you better do exactly what I say.” I nod at him and pull out my own gun, a very small one compared to his, but it’s what I’m trained to use, and I can use it well.
I stick close behind him, more vigilant than ever. Bucky pears around the corner of the hallway that we need to walk down and I watch the hallway behind us, waiting for his signal. My head still hurts, but I’m focusing so hard on escaping that I barely notice the pain anymore. Bucky deems the hallway clear and we continue running. This pattern continues as we race for the exit, moving as fast as we can while still being careful. At the last hallway corner we had to use as cover, Bucky puts his arm out, stopping me from continuing forwards.
“What?” I mouth to him. Even though we’ve been found out, I want to remain as quiet as possible. Bucky doesn’t like to be loud on missions. But Bucky isn’t looking at me, he’s watching someone else. I hear voices down the hall, loud voices actually. I can’t understand what they’re saying, but it looks like Bucky can. Duh, he’s been imprisioned by these people, of course he speaks Russian.
Bucky pops out form behind the corner and shoots, killing the few men before they can return fire. He waves me forwards, and we begin running again. My feet are so heavy in these damn winter boots and my legs feel like jelly from the lack of rest. I don’t want to keep going. We better not have to run all five miles back to the fucking jet after this. We would have been out the door already if I had been paying attention, maybe not safe, but at least out of the base.
I tripped on one of the dead men’s bodies. My boot getting caught in the crook of his elbow, and I fall. I crash really, down to the floor. Bucky whips around, thinking another threat has appeared. Nope, just myself potentially getting us caught. Bucky backtracks to help me to my feet when a line of bullets hits the walls around us.
Moving faster than me, Bucky yanks me up by the upper arm and pushing me in front of him, yelling at me to run. I’m still looking at him when the bullet comes wizzing towards me. He blocks it with his metal arm, and the clang of metal on metal is loud in my ringing ears. Bucky pushes me again, yelling at me to run. And I do. I run as fast as I can, praying the bullets don’t make contact with my skin.
I push through the front door we entered through, and I’m relieved to see there isn’t a mob of agents waiting for us. Just one startled guard who I shoot before he fully raises his gun. Bucky is right on my heals and I turn to him, waiting for him to lead the way. I am unsure where to head next, having lost my bearings while inside the base.
Whipping his head around, Bucky regained his bearings. He picks a direction and begins to run. I follow behind him, remaining as close to his form as I can, as we run my heart is pounding, my ears are ringing, this mission escalated so quickly. I just hope Bucky knows where he’s going.
we run for miles. My breath is short and labored. I’m starting to fall behind Bucky. I need to rest. I need to stop and get my mind back in order. There is a large stitch in my side, bringing me to a stop. I lean over, resting my hands on my knees as I bend down to catch my breath. Bucky stops as well, turning to face me.
“Please James, I need to take a break.” My voice is small, gone is any fight. Bucky rolls his eyes.
“Fine. I need to get in touch with Steve anyway. Stay put.” He walks a few paces away, leaving me to catch my breath alone. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but based on Bucky’s body language the conversation isn’t going well. He ends his phone conversation and walks back towards me.
“The jet can’t pick us up for another 12 hours at the least.”
“What? Why not?” This day just keeps finding new ways to be terrible.
“They’re still on their mission, and with the terrain of our area other jets cannot land,” I sighed.
“So we’re just going to sit out here and die?” I spread my arms out, gesturing to the snow packed earth around me.
“Yes, Y/n. They sent two very valuable agents out on an extremely important mission just to let them die out in the forest.” His voice was thick with sarcasm, making me annoyed. I understand where he’s coming from but I just wish he wasn’t such an ass. I roll my eyes and continue,
“So what are we supposed to do then?”
“There’s a bunker we can stay in for the time being. It’s a far walk, but it’s warm and there’s a shower. We’re limited for options right now.”
“Ugh. 10 miles will take us hours to walk.” My voice hitched in my throat. This was too much, too much walking, too much fighting. I can’t keep going.
Bucky’s face softened for just a moment. “I know. But we don’t have anywhere else to go. Come on.”
We walked, and walked, and walked. My mind was separate for my body. My feet were dragging, barely clearing the deep snow. I was bone tired. I wasn’t cold anymore, the opposite really. My face was hot and I was beginning to sweat under my layers.
Bucky stopped suddenly and I ran right into the back of him. He whipped around to look at me, angry. I apologized in a small voice. He shook his head annoyed, and then bent down to push away snow from the ground. He revealed a heavy trap door with all types of locks with various methods to prove your identity as an Avenger.
The door eventually swung open and Bucky held it open for me. I looked up at him tiredly before lowering myself down into the bunker. It wasn’t very warm, but my body was too hot to notice. While Bucky was lowering himself down and locking the door, I looked around the bunker. It was extremely small. There was a couch, old and covered in a soft cloth fabric that faced the “kitchen” which was basically just a counter with a sink and cabinets. There will be no hot meals here. There was one bedroom and one bathroom. The bathroom was barely large enough to house the toilet, sink, and shower. The bedroom wasn’t much larger, only holding a queen bed and a tiny closet with extra blankets and supplies.
I walked back into the main room to find Bucky heading towards the bathroom, a towel slug over his arm.
“Stop right there. Why do you get to take the first shower?” I did not walk all the way just to let him go first.
“Because you take years to shower, use all the hot water, and I worked hardest during the mission.” He didn’t stop walking.
“You did not. I’m the one who go all the information. All you did was shoot your gun.” This might be a bad fight to pick, but I’m practically delusional with exhaustion.
“Only shot my gun? I’m the reason the weakest Avenger is still fucking alive. I ruined my arm taking that bullet for you and I regret it. I should have let that bullet slice through you and saved my arm.” He slammed the bathroom door after his words, and I flinched at the sound. Ouch.
That was too far, and I felt myself shutting down into myself. I was too tired to think of how to get back at Bucky after his shower. I sat down on the plush sofa, sinking into its cushions. I feel too warm, even stripped of my large outter layers and just staying in the longsleeve bodysuit that was my base layer. I think I feel a cold coming on. That’s the only explanation of warm skin despite my chills. I had only been on the couch for a few minutes, but my eyes began to droop.
I was awaken by a towel hitting my face, making me jump up to a sitting position. I heard Bucky’s chuckle as he walked into the bedroom. Guess it’s my turn to shower. I rise slowly, feeling the room spin around me.
I decided to have a cold shower despite the cold air in the bunker. My skin was too warm and I wished I had different clothes to put on after my shower. Something not as hot as my bodysuit. I had tied my hair up to avoid getting it wet, cold air and wet hair would never dry. I had zoned out for who knows how long while washing myself off. I should get out before Bucky interrupts my shower like this morning. I’m starting to feel less stable on my feet anyways.
I turn off the water and pull back the curtain. I reach for the towel that Bucky threw at me and dry myself off. I start to climb out of the shower when my foot landed on a small puddle of water, likely from Bucky’s own shower. My foot slipped out from me and I came crashing down to the tiled bathroom floor, my already injured head hitting down hard.
I couldn’t move. I was still trying to catch my breath and my bearings. My hand holding the back of my head while my mouth made unconnected sounds of pain, calling for help. I forgot that Bucky was the only one here, my reminder being his voice on the other side of the bathroom door. He was knocking, calling to me I think
“Y/n? Y/n are you ok? What happened?” He sounded worried, and I tried to respond to ease his mind. I need to tell him I’m ok so I can get my naked body off the floor myself.
But instead of telling him I was ok and to go away, I started crying. Overwhelmed by the day’s events and the pain that I was in, my spirit broke. I was able to half sit, wrapping the towel around me best I could. My hair had fallen out of the loose bun and now sat limp around my face. Talking through my sobs, I called out to him.
“Bucky, please. I need your help,” I don’t know how he understood what I was saying, my words muddled from my cries. I didn’t even notice I called him by his nickname, something I had never done before.
I forgot that I had locked the bathroom door, and I couldn’t reach the lock. I couldn’t hear what he was saying to me. The door handle was ripped out of the door, allowing Buck’y hand to unlock the top lock to let himself in. When his body appeared in the doorway, his eyes widened seeing me on the floor. He crouched down to my level and reached out to touch my head.
“Doll? What happened?” His voice was low, his eyes locked on mine. I had to take several deep breaths before I could answer him.
“I slipped getting out and I hit my head again, Buck. I don’t think I can stand on my own. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry you had to come in here but I can’t get out on my own,” My crying continued, unable to stop. My head was thick with pain and my skin was still too hot, even after my cool shower.
“Shh, it’s ok Y/n. I’ve got you now. You don’t have to be sorry, doll.” He moved his hand from my head and wrapped me up into his arms, lifting me while he stood from the floor. His metal arm was cold against my skin, bringing relief instantly. Being held close to his chest, resting the side of my face on his heart calmed me. My cries subsided as we walked from the bathroom into the bedroom.
He laid me down gently on the bed, pulling the sheet up to cover my body. He rested his flesh hand on my forehead and then moved it down to the side of my neck.
“Is your skin normally this hot, Y/n?” He sounded concerned, which doesn’t seem like a good sign for me.
“No, I’m normally always cold,” My reply was only a whisper. My eyes began to open slower, my body completely spent.
“Stay awake just for a minute for me, doll. Let me take your temperature and then you can rest, ok?” His voice was still low and gentle, not at all like he normally talks to me. All I could do to reply was nod.
He wasn’t gone long, back with a little thermometer in his hand. He looked down at the tiny plastic tech and pressed some buttons before bringing it to my lips. I obediently opened my mouth and let it sit under my tongue. This interaction might have been awkward if my eyes were open, if I wasn’t so tired and hurt. But right now I didn’t care at all, letting him take care of me.
The thermometer left my mouth and I heard Bucky gasp. It was enough of a reaction to make me open my eyes and look up at him. He was staring down at the thermometer, mouth slightly open.
“What is it?” I whisper up at him.
“You have a fever, but it doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand how your temperature could have risen this much without you collapsing until now.” He had his thinking face on, and it worried me.
“How high is it? 99 degrees?” I was hoping that he was just being dramatic and this was a “large” rise in temperature to him.
“No. It’s 102 degrees. You can sleep now, doll. I need to call Steve again. See if he can get us out of here any faster so we can get you some help.” His hand rose up to touch my hair, brushing it out of my face. The movement was comforting and it relaxed me.
Bucky was only worried because he’s a super soilder and I’m not. The fever most likely won’t get any worse anyways. Steve will probably come right away too, hearing about my condition. If Bucky doesn’t think it’s life threatening then I don’t either. I just need some medicine and some rest and I’ll be just fine.
With the comfort that Bucky’s care has given me, I close my eyes again. He leaves after a moment and I hear the door close behind him. I drift off almost instantly.