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“Hey Sans, which job are you going to tonight?”
The shorter skeleton leaned on the kitchen counter next to you, eyeing the Tupperware container and opened condiment jars in front of you. At some point during the last few months you had started making him lunch bags to bring on his long shifts at work. To be honest, it made Sans a little nervous at first. Although it didn’t seem like you had any ulterior motive or wanted anything. You had commented once, after a punny remark of his, that he was your boyfriend’s brother and you were going to do nice shit like this whether he wanted you to or not. It was just who you were.
“I’m on shift at the hut,” his eyes followed your hand as you spooned raspberry jam on top of the chunky peanut butter you had already put in one of the container. After many arguments and name calling you had succeeded in convincing him to expand his palate from just ketchup. Which he begrudgingly had to thank you for after you introduced you to the wonders of PB and J. He may not have had a perfect start when he met you but you were a pretty okay human, all things considered. He shifted in his stance to, somehow, lean even lazier against the counter top.“Hey, wanna hear a joke?”
“No, Sans! We don’t!” Papyrus didn’t even look up from his Junior Jumble puzzle book, tailbone resting on the edge of the counter, his body as close to yours as it could be without leaning on you. His resistance just made Sans’ smile widen.
“What do you call a peanut in a space suit?”
You let out a small snort, deciding to go along with it just to piss your boyfriend off. “I dunno Sans, what do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?”
“An astro-nut.” He smacked the counter in a ‘bum-dum-cha’ for emphasis, gaining another snort-laugh from you and a groan from Papyrus. Neither of you could pinpoint exactly when you began this weird friendship of sorts but it somehow made it into your daily repertoire. The whole making really bad jokes and puns until Papyrus couldn’t pretend he hated it anymore.
“I got one, I got one.” Your smile grew wider, your boyfriend’s groan got louder. This joking was something that you could bond with Sans over, much to your own delight and much to the chagrin of the taller skeleton. Although you both knew he secretly thought it was funny. Your eyes twinkled as you warned, “It’s raunchy though.”
Sans nodded his head for you to continue, ignoring the annoyed stare Papyrus was sending him. One punny skeleton brother he could handle, but an equally as bad jokester girlfriend who egged him on was almost too much to bare. Another scoop of raspberry jam fell off your spoon and plopped onto of the peanut butter. With one hand you pressed the lid down onto it, effectively sealing the spreads together.
“What’s the difference between jam and jelly?”
Sans tapped his fingers against the side of his skull, a low hum coming from his throat as he mock-thought. “I don’t know, kid, what’s the difference between jam and jelly?”
Your eyebrow rose suggestively as you pivoted to lean your hip against the counter to face him, pointing the jelly-stained spoon in Sans direction. “I can’t jelly my dick up your ass.”
Your mimick of ‘ba-dum-chaa’ could hardly be heard over Sans loud laugh combined with Papyrus’ chastising voice yelling out, “Human! Don’t be so vulgar!”
“Skeleton! Don’t be such a killjoy!”
