Work Text:
Only for Tim Laughlin would Hawk spend his day off in Rome walking around churches and cemeteries. They had already visited the main tourist areas - the Coliseum, the Pantheon, the Forum, and the Circus Maximus, among many others - with their students. And Hawk had planned a more relaxing day. In fact he hadn't planned on leaving the hotel, but one look at Tim's hopeful brown eyes and Hawk had crumbled. So, he followed his wide-eyed love around Rome's churches, carried along on Tim's enthusiasm and the joy he found in his faith. Hawk wasn't religious himself, but the churches were beautiful and some of the cemeteries had touching monuments.
One of those was the Angel of Grief, hidden away at the Protestant Cemetery. Tim didn't appreciate Hawk's light teasing about whether or not Tim would be struck by lightning for entering a non-Catholic cemetery. Although that could have been more because Hawk had already used that quip about himself the first few times he followed Tim into a Catholic church. As he usually did, Tim quickly forgot any vague irritation with Hawk, awed by the beauty that greeted them in the warm Roman sunshine. An angel, sobbing over a coffin, wings weighed down with grief. A heartbreaking monument to a love lost.
"He must really have loved her," Tim murmured, looking at the angel with sad eyes.
"Yeah," Hawk agreed, imagining the hours of love and dedication William Wetmore Story had poured into crafting a monument to his late wife. The love and devotion and heartbreaking grief was tangible, the monument alive with it. "I know how he feels."
Hawk's angel laced their fingers together, his empathetic gaze soft and understanding. "Kenny?" he asked, never jealous but compassionate about the first boy Hawk had loved.
And Hawk missed him. He did. Every day in small moments, but he and Kenny had been over long before Kenny's death and Hawk's heart had mended. Finding Tim had healed him, made him better in every imaginable way.
"No," Hawk said aloud, holding Tim's hand tighter. "You, Skippy."
Tim blinked, slow and surprised. "Me?"
Hawk smiled sadly, fighting back the horrible thoughts his mind presented to him. Tim taken from him, gone from Hawk's life. Leaving his world cold and grey and lonely. Empty of all the warmth and love that Tim exuded. Hawk couldn't imagine how he could go on. "If I ever lost you..."
"You won't," Tim told him. Like it was that simple. Like Tim believing it was all it took to become fact.
Hawk wished it was. If anyone's word could count as fact, Tim Laughlin's would be the person Hawk would choose for it. But life was rarely that simple. And, in Hawk's experience, the things he loved - the people he loved - got taken away. He was never enough to keep them. His father hated him, even when all Hawk had done was love him as any child would their father. Kenny had been driven away by Hawk's fear and self-preservation. And Tim? What would Hawk do to Tim? How badly would Hawk hurt the man he loved before Tim's God took him away from him?
Hawk shook his head, forcing away those thoughts. Dwelling on the inevitable end wouldn't stop it from happening. And he'd rather be happy with Tim for as long as he could than ruin the time they had by lingering on the inevitable end. All the same, he knew Tim liked it when he opened up, even if he did baulk at doing so in public.
"I don't want to lose you."
Tim raised their clasped hands to his lips, kissing Hawk's knuckles. "You will never lose me, Hawk. I will always be with you."
A bitter chuckle left Hawk's lips. How he wanted to believe that. "I wish I had your faith, angel."
"You don't need my faith," Tim replied, smiling softly. "I have enough for both of us."
Warmth blossomed in Hawk's chest, his heart lightening from the heavy grief that had surrounded it. "I love you, Skippy."
Tim leaned into Hawk, his lips pressing against his cheek. "I love you too, beloved."
Hawk let go of Tim's hand, wrapping his arms around him instead. There was a slightly scandalised exclamation from a couple they'd entered with who were visiting from Tulsa, but Hawk ignored them. He didn't care anymore what people thought. He and Tim were safe here in Italy. Free to love each other as they wanted.
"Where's the next church on your agenda, Skippy?"
Tim's smile spread slowly and beautifully over his lips. "Hotel," he decided, pecking Hawk chastely on the lips.
Hawk paused, knowing Tim well enough to know that they weren't going to be going straight to their hotel. Tim just carried on smiling innocently, letting Hawk lead them out of the cemetery and back onto the street.
"Hotel," Hawk agreed, slipping his sunglasses on. "By way of?"
Tim's laughter filled Hawk's ears, chasing away any lingering gloom. "You'll see, beloved," he grinned, slipping his hand back into Hawk's. "You'll see."
That probably ought to worry Hawk, but he found himself smiling. Just happy beyond measure to be there with Tim. Whatever his Skippy wanted to do, Hawk knew he would love it. Simply because he was doing it with Tim.