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“oh, baby,” yeonjun says gently the moment he stepped inside their dimly lit apartment, seeing beomgyu burying his face in his knees as he sobs, the crying making his shoulders shake.
yeonjun drops his bag on the floor, slipping on the horrendously orange fluffy fox slippers that beomgyu insisted matched his own brown teddy bear ones. he approaches beomgyu quietly, taking a seat next to him and waiting patiently for beomgyu to acknowledge his presence.
it didn’t take long; beomgyu immediately crawled into his lap, resting his head against yeonjun’s shoulder as hot tears leaked from his eyes and soaked yeonjun’s shirt. the older man cooed at him, rubbing his hands up and down beomgyu’s back in an attempt to soothe him.
yeonjun knew this week was going to be tough. beomgyu had already been showing signs of distress, and even though he tried his best to hide it, yeonjun knows him. the frantic cuticle picking, the subdued energy and the quiet sadness threatened to consume beomgyu, and yeonjun’s heart ached at how such a beautiful, amazing boy could feel so much pain. when yeonjun tried talking to him about it, beomgyu had brushed it off, claiming it was because of the medication switching and he was still ‘trying to get used to it’. but yeonjun knows better. it’s not just because of the new pills; something else was bothering him and he was determined to get to the bottom of it.
he was honestly surprised that beomgyu would break down this fast, though. sure, he was relieved it wasn’t as debilitating to his health as his previous episodes, but coming home to see beomgyu sit in the dark, small figure shaking like a leaf in the wind made him swallow a lump down his throat. they sat in silence save for beomgyu’s occasional sniffles, in which yeonjun would gently hush him, planting small kisses on beomgyu’s neck, each one lingering with love and warmth.
after yeonjun figured what was maybe ten minutes, beomgyu reappeared to look at yeonjun, eyes rimmed red and nose equally as rosy, tired eyes blinking at him.
“hello, my baby,” yeonjun whispers tenderly, cupping beomgyu’s face to plant a kiss on beomgyu’s lips.
the younger sniffs, accepting the kiss as he continues to look at yeonjun, albeit sadly.
“what’s wrong, hm? what’s got you all upset?” yeonjun asks, brushing down beomgyu’s feathery hair, thumbs wiping away the tear tracks down his lover’s face.
“the meds,” beomgyu mumbles, hands playing with the strings on yeonjun’s hoodie as a pout settles on his lips.
“what about them? you don’t like it?” yeonjun asks once again, hands resting on beomgyu’s waist.
the younger man shakes his head no, and yeonjun tilts his head in question, waiting for a response.
“they work. better than before. head feels clearer. no clouds,” beomgyu says, doe eyes meeting yeonjun’s.
“that’s good, isn’t it? I”m happy they are working, babe,” yeonjun starts to smile, only for it to fade when he sees tears well up in beomgyu’s eyes again.
“but that means i need to take more of it.”
“well, of course babe. the doctor prescribed you two per day.”
“but..that also means it costs a lot more. and it’s already more expensive than the previous ones,” beomgyu wails, tears falling freely now as he laid his main concern on yeonjun.
yeonjun couldn’t help but to let out a sigh of relief. he feared there was a serious, more dire problem, and he simply brings beomgyu even closer, letting the boy sob against his chest.
“baby, that doesn’t even matter. what's important is that they actually help you. i can always pick up more freelance work on the side. don’t worry, okay?” yeonjun responds once beomgyu calms down yet again.
“but you’ll be even busier…hyung, i don’t want you to suffer because of my stupid brain,” beomgyu whispers while yeonjun cradles him like a baby, nevermind beomgyu was almost his height. somehow, he becomes smaller, frailer in yeonjun’s arms, and the latter revels in knowing beomgyu is comfortable being this vulnerable with him.
“where’s all this coming from, beomie? i don’t care about any of that. i just want you to be happy and healthy, always.” yeonjun says. “i’m so proud of you for being brave enough to try it out. i know you hate change, and i’m so happy you’re trying, baby.”
“and you may do silly things like pick fights with taehyun who could definitely bench press you with ease, and you have mistaken salt for sugar many, many times, but your brain isn’t stupid, beomie. the fact you’re getting up and moving around again is more than enough. i am so proud of you,” yeonjun adds, smiling gently down at beomgyu, who only gazes up at him, tearful but no longer crying.
“but what if tomorrow i just stare at the ceiling until you come back? what if i don’t get out of bed tomorrow?” beomgyu asks.
“and that’s fine. i don’t expect your new meds to magically cure you of your depression, beomie. healing isn’t linear. i’ll be there to care for you always.”
beomgyu cranes his head up to plant a kiss on yeonjun’s cheek, whispering an i love you into the older man’s ears. yeonjun smiles, repeating those same words back. he knew it was also an invitation to switch topics, so beomgyu could put it behind him.
“how was your day today?”
“i showered. and i remembered to brush my teeth. i washed a load of laundry. i ate half of the leftovers today. but after the meds i didn’t..do anything,” beomgyu says, shame evident in his tone.
“i’m proud of what you’ve got done, though. i know your appetite hasn’t been the same, baby. we can get a heavier dinner later. and you even did laundry! looks like i don’t have to swipe your socks anymore,” yeonjun says playfully, making beomgyu pout at him.
“no wonder they’re all stretched out..it was you,” beomgyu grumbles. “how was work?”
“same old. soobin is still in his one sided rivalry slash situationship thing with kai. it’s really funny to see soobin so flustered,” yeonjun snickers.
“binnie said kai keeps winking at him every time they meet,” beomgyu replies.
“yep. and that loser starts flopping around like a dead fish. it’s almost pathetic,” yeonjun says as he snorts.
“hyung, i’d do the same to if you were the one winking at me,” beomgyu shyly says, big eyes looking up at yeonjun coyly.
yeonjun grins, unable to resist his urges to kiss beomgyu yet again as his lover let’s out a small giggle, complaining that it tickled.
“i’d be the same too. prettiest boy in the world flirting with me? i might just faint on the spot.”
beomgyu finally smiles at him, small but sincere. a lot was within that little expression, and beomgyu could only wish to express them verbally.
thank you, for not making me feel like a burden when i already feel so much.
thank you, for loving me so tenderly all i feel is a sense of peace with you.
thank you, for being there even when i don’t want to be.
“c’mon, i think you deserve a little treat. let’s get some icecream after dinner, hm?” yeonjun says excitedly, eyes squinting in excitement.
“it’s nothing worth celebrating..” beomgyu tries to argue, although he knew it was a lost cause.
“nonsense, babe. if it was up to me, you’d get a present every minute for just being the cutest boy ever,” yeonjun shuts his protests with a wet kiss that had a resounding smooch , cackling when beomgyu swats at him and complains about saliva on his cheeks. beomgyu begins to squeal when yeonjun starts to smother his face with kisses, each wetter than the previous kiss.
“i love you, beomgyu. even when you feel like everything sucks,” yeonjun says between kisses, eyes dripping with sincerity as he looks at the man he loves the most.
beomgyu smiles, unable to respond with anything else but a sweet kiss, feeling the day’s worries slowly begin to unravel itself as his mind settles into a peaceful state, satiated by his boyfriend’s love.