Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Despite the seemingly endless magical properties of the library and its ability to provide for their needs, it was sorely lacking in the blood department. Which was sort of odd, actually, considering the general sorts of goings-on in the Silas library, but Carmilla chose not to dwell on that too much. At least Laura had found enough sugary snacks to keep her going for a while. Carmilla, on the other hand, was going to need some blood eventually.

Her relationship with Laura right now was uncertain at best, awkward at worst; even though she had fed from her on a few memorable past occasions, Laura hadn't offered and Carmilla refused to ask unless absolutely necessary. Which it wasn't. Necessary, that is. She was perfectly capable of providing for herself, thank you very much. And even if Laura was willing to give some of her own blood, that couldn't sustain her indefinitely. So, hunting it had to be.

Which is how Carmilla had ended up in the dark and very extensive forest surrounding the main campus. Laura was asleep, otherwise she probably would have insisted on coming with her, increasing their risks of getting caught and/or lost in the maze of tunnels that constituted the library. Carmilla wouldn't soon forget her most recent brush with being held captive, either. The heavy chains the Baron had placed around her neck and hands contained just enough silver to effectively prevent her from either transforming or escaping by smoke. Travelling by smoke was by far the most efficient way for Carmilla to get around, but it took a lot of energy and she couldn't bring anyone else with her. She chose to reappear directly in the forest to ensure the least chances of someone else being around to see her. Even though she could still hold her own against the humans, she'd rather avoid having to explain herself to Laura when more rumors of vampire attacks inevitably came through.

Normally, Carmilla might set a bit of a challenge for herself, to see how close she could get before some unsuspecting forest animal sensed her, or how quickly she could make a kill. Tonight, though, she was just tired. Exhausted, really, from the events of the past few days (or the past few months, if she was honest with herself). She went straight for the easiest prey she could find, which happened to be a young deer. It wasn't tasty by any means, but it wasn't completely unpalatable either; it was just about satiating enough to get her through the end of the week, and she really couldn't expect more than that. Satisfied, Carmilla stood up, preparing to smoke herself back to the library tunnels.

Then the screaming started.

Chapter Text

Carmilla flinched at the sudden noise. The sound she was hearing, it was not the sound of battle—the screams that echoed through the night called to mind a more primal sort of torture. She tried to resist moving toward the source of the cries; Laura was the one who would immediately rush to the scene to find out what was going on, not her. Screams weren't that unusual for this part of the forest or for Silas in general, especially lately. Besides, Carmilla wasn't feeling particularly charitable toward any fellow students tonight. The best thing to do would be to go and make sure Laura was safe.

Still. Something about the sound drew Carmilla in. It was...familiar, in a way. Odd, because she was almost certain the screams were coming from a boy, but there was another low noise underneath the high-pitched screams that was difficult for even her heightened senses to make out. Deciding it would be in her best interests to know what was going on, she headed in the general direction of a clearing that seemed to hold the source of the sounds.

Well. Whatever she had expected to see, it wasn't this. The figure that was hunched over a body in the center of the clearing was none other than Danny Lawrence. Blood was glistening, dripping down her chin in a satisfying sort of way that Carmilla had some familiarity with. So much blood...

Carmilla shook her head. She'd just eaten, after all. And what the fuck was going on? She recognized the boy, almost certainly dead, as Theo. Eh, she never cared much for him anyway. It wasn't like Xena, though, to go around murdering people for no good reason. As quick as she was to whip out the stakes, Carmilla knew violence was always a last resort for Danny. Or at least it was always in defense, never offense. Anyway, hadn't Laura said she was dead?

These thoughts sped through Carmilla's mind in the space of only a few seconds. She knew there was only one explanation for all this, but she didn't want to believe it and wasn't sure what to do. Part of her just wanted to leave well enough alone and get the hell out of there. Carmilla was painfully aware of the last thing she'd said to Danny being a promise of a slow, painful death. However, killing the Amazon wouldn't make her feel any better, not really. Mattie had attacked her first, after all, and then there was Laura's role in the whole thing to deal with. Still, the idea was tempting. She wasn't even looking this way, the idiot—if Carmilla went in for the kill now, Xena would have no idea what hit her. Although, getting rid of her that way would be missing the point entirely.

In any case, normally some confrontational frat boy dying in the woods wouldn't be Carmilla's problem. Dying via newly turned vampire, however, made it her problem. And however much she wanted to ignore it, the situation was clear: someone had turned Danny Lawrence.

How was that even possible? JP was still so unused to Will's body that he could barely even feed himself, let alone go through the process of making a new vampire, even if it was somehow on purpose. Mattie certainly hadn't done it (Xena had made sure of that), but even if she hadn't been killed, Carmilla was pretty sure Danny would be the last person Mattie would want to turn. Vordenburg had done an excellent job of running all the other vampires off campus. So, that only left Carmilla herself, which was definitely a huge no. Regardless of all that was between her and Danny, Carmilla wasn't like her Mother. She'd promised herself she'd only turn people with their express consent. And even though some of her memories from raging around campus after Mattie's death were hazy at best, she'd definitely have remembered something like this.

“She wanted the Board out of the way, she wanted the Corvae controlling the campus, she wanted the Anglerfish dead... if the Dean weren't, you know, dead, it'd be her party...” Laura's voice floated through Carmilla's mind. She started to have that sickening feeling again, the one she always got when she was forced to do something against her will by her Mother. She thought she was rid of that for good. But no, she couldn't ignore the clear evidence to the contrary in the form of the newly made vampire in front of her.

She hated to admit it, but it looked like Danny might their best shot at finding out what the hell was going on.

As Danny began to stand up, Carmilla rushed up behind her, intending to knock her out. However, she'd forgotten to account for newborn vampire speed, and Danny managed to turn around before Carmilla could get to her. Was that a brief flash of recognition in her eyes? Whatever that look was, it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. Danny lunged for her, but Carmilla was ready for it and swept the taller girl's legs out from under her.

“Clumsy, even for you, Xena,” Carmilla drawled, knowing full well that Danny would have less control over her body than she was used to. She gave her no chance to reply, however. Still holding onto Danny's legs, Carmilla swung around, firmly introducing her head to the side of a tree. She made sure Danny's eyes stayed closed for ten seconds before finally letting go of her legs. Not her usual fighting style, but at least it got the job done quickly.

Carmilla looked up, then back down at Danny's unconscious form and sighed. Can't make anything that easy, can you, she thought as she picked her up, and began the trek back to the library.

Chapter Text

Everything hurts.

Danny woke as if underwater. She was conscious, barely, of two other beings in the room with her. She could hear the whispered words as if they were spoken in her ear instead of from across the room, but her foggy brain was no help at deciphering them. Everything was sensation and she understood nothing.

If Danny could have actually processed her surroundings, she would have noticed that only one of the other forms in the room was actually whispering. Well, more like stage-whispering at that point—Laura had started off quietly but was now damn near hysterical while Carmilla stood there in silence. Danny would also have noticed Carmilla's calculated stare in her direction; being rather reluctant to make eye contact with Laura and perfectly aware that Danny could hear them, she had opted to glare silently instead.

The rather one-sided conversation went something like this:

“Please, please tell me I am not hallucinating right now, Carm.” Laura pleaded. Her eyes, having initially gone wide with shock, were squeezed shut against threatening tears. “I just... Danny was dead, she died in my arms, and now she's here and you've tied her to a chair  for some reason—“ Laura paused to take a shuddering breath. “I...” she tried again, then trailed off.

Carmilla slowly turned to look at Laura. “Yes, she's real. But she's changed.”

At this, Laura made to lunge toward Danny, only to be stopped by Carmilla's deceptively strong arms around her.

“Hold up! It's not safe.” Carmilla explained, barely.

There was nothing Laura hated more than being told she couldn't do something because it wasn't safe. She's short, young, female, and now, being human was a strike against her too. She struggled against her hold, trying to reach out to Danny.

“What do you mean? Why won't you let me help her? Come on, she's twitching like... like... you were when we... oh God.” Laura spun around to face Carmilla, eyes wide with panic rather than shock this time. “Is she...”

“What? Like me? Yes. A vampire? Yes. Okay? Pretty damn unlikely.” Carmilla said forcefully. Then her face softened briefly as she noticed Laura shaking with a combination of rage, worry, and fear. “I found her in the woods. I could have killed her, but it looks like someone else got there first. And then she repaid the favor.”

“Wait, she did what?”

“Laura... I know you don't want to hear this, but someone's turned her.” Carmilla left “my mother” unspoken. That could be figured out later. “She was drinking Theo's blood.”

At the mention of Theo, Laura was immediately and viscerally reminded of the last time she had seen him... and Danny. Had Danny... killed him for revenge? Laura's first instinct was to say that wasn't like her, but Danny had done plenty of things over the past few weeks (months, really) that Laura hadn't anticipated. She was forced to admit that she didn't know much about Danny at all. She'd spent the first month of knowing Danny projecting her own values onto her, and then... well, people act differently under stress, and they'd all been under more than anyone should rightly be able to handle.

So how to describe this sinking feeling, on top of everything else she felt about Danny and their current situation? Laura had no reason to like Theo, but now there's more death and destruction to add to the ever-expanding list. Oh god, why was there a list?

Laura began to audibly freak out again, at which point Danny began to slowly regain consciousness. She was still twitching, and now straining against the ropes as blissful unawareness gave way to all-out panic.

“Unh...what... where am I?” Danny's eyes were wide. Even the words felt wrong coming out of her mouth, and it took her a moment to understand why. The last few days were just a hazy blur in her mind, and she couldn't remember speaking around her newly-acquired fangs.

Carmilla had already been staring at Danny for the past few minutes, but Laura's head snapped up.

“Danny! You're... you're in the library...” Laura's voice wobbled; the stress and anxiety of the situation had nearly brought her to tears. She made to move toward Danny again, only to have Carmilla pull her back (also again). Both of them couldn't help but notice Danny's sharp inhale, even though she technically didn't need to breathe anymore.

“Can you please explain...what I am doing here?” asked Danny, clearly in pain and struggling to enunciate the words clearly.

At this, Carmilla finally spoke directly to Danny. “Oh, I think you know. Maybe you're in denial, but somewhere in there, you know exactly what's going on.” She punctuated her sentence with a deliberate glance at Laura and then back at Danny, who followed her gaze and then closed her eyes as if blocking out visual input would somehow change their new reality.

Now Laura was all Danny could focus on, and not for the reasons she's used to. Every cell in her body was crying out for blood, and Laura's frantic pulse overwhelmed everything else. She tried her hardest to keep still, but the ache was rapidly becoming intolerable.

Carmilla chose this moment to prod again. “Tell us what happened to you. I need to know what my mother is planning.”

Laura ignored the implication that Carmilla would be working alone. “Come on, we'll start simple. What's the last thing you remember?” she rephrased gently.

“I don't know!” shouted Danny, gasping. “I can't... I won't...I didn't ask for this!”

Carmilla gave a broken sort of laugh. “Neither did I.”

Danny looked like she was about to respond, but Laura cut her off, wanting to avoid outright confrontation for as long as possible. “Look, Danny, if you want us to trust you, you have gotta tell us your side of the story.” Laura said, back in business-mode.

Laura's words caused Carmilla to look up at her sharply. She had heard those same words before, not all that long ago, when she was in much the same position that Danny was now. Well, mostly—Carmilla had done rather a better job of tying her up in a way that would make it exceedingly difficult for a vampire, even a new one, to escape unassisted.

Danny seemed to have realized this as well. She spoke again, pointedly ignoring Laura and locking eyes with Carmilla, a determined set to her jaw.

“Kill me.”

Carmilla didn't appear surprised by this request in the least, but she did look less happy about it than Danny would have expected. After all, the last thing Danny heard from her before today was a detailed description of the pleasure Carmilla would take in slowly dismembering her after she killed Mattie.

“Gladly,” Carmilla drawled, iron in her voice, “but you tell us what you know first. You said you can't remember anything after you were bitten—but wait, you don't have a bite mark...”

Carmilla paused, considering this information. As hazy as some parts of the last three hundred-odd years were, she still retained a distinct memory of the bite that turned her. Was Danny a different kind of vampire, or possibly under some different kind of curse? If only... no. There were too many possibilities. Carmilla refused to let herself think about Mattie for the time being.

“Excuse me, why are we entertaining this option at all?!” Laura interjected. “Danny, I already saw you die once—”

“This is not about you!” Danny shouted hoarsely. Except, it kind of was, and they all knew it.

Danny hated herself for wanting to hurt Laura, wanting to protect her at the same time, and being attracted to her still. “Look, I... I wasn't scared, okay? But I'm damn well scared now!”

“We can get through this—”

“What if I don't want to get through this? I already said—”

“I'm not asking you to do it for me—”

“Here.”

Laura stopped, incredulous, as Carmilla held a mug of blood up to Danny's lips. The effect was instantaneous; Danny's whole body gave a jolt and her arms twitched like she was trying to reach for the mug (more out of habit than anything), only to be stopped by the rope still holding her down. Then she closed her eyes and swallowed what appeared to be the entire contents of the mug in one gulp. For one frozen second, they all stood still and silent, until Danny coughed and her eyes flew open again, breaking the spell.

“You never get used to it.” Carmilla said, her actions betraying the coldness of her words.

Carmilla hated herself for feeling bad for Danny, understanding what she was going through and sympathizing with her still. So much was unsaid between the two of them, between all of them.

Danny must have understood some of what Carmilla wasn't saying, because her voice was softer, less accusatory and more resigned as she replied, “Well. I'm going to have to try, aren't I?”

Hearing this, Laura almost shouted again in excitement, but managed to keep it to more of a muffled squeak. She didn't know how, but something seemed to have changed Danny's mind.

Laura hated herself for feeling so happy to have Danny back. She was being selfish, she knew, and besides, Danny had changed and was clearly miserable and probably thought her overbearingly manipulative on top of everything else. Some part of her, way down, was intrigued by the changes to Danny's body—she could probably hold her own against Carmilla now, and as much as Laura hated to see them fighting, she couldn't stop the part of herself that wondered what it would be like.

She ignored that for the time being. “All right, Danny, I... I believe you. This is going nowhere, and... we've always worked better on the same side.” Laura made to untie Danny. Carmilla raised her eyebrows but made no move to stop her, figuring that Laura could make her own decisions as long as Danny seemed relatively willing to cooperate. Besides, Carmilla knew she was close enough and fast enough to diffuse any potential incidents.

“I guess we'll have to trust each other.”

Danny had to trust Carmilla to protect Laura. Laura had to trust Danny to tell the truth. And Carmilla had to trust Laura to make the right decision. Danny wasn't the only one tied up; they were all leaning on each other like some impossible tribar – only the slightest jolt needed to shatter the illusion that they could ever be real or whole again.

“I guess we'll have to.”

Whatever you do don’t think of what could be
Whatever you do don’t look up at the stars
Whatever you do don’t think of what used to be
Whatever you do don’t look at me too hard