Chapter Text
There she was Elizabeth, thinking, sitting on her bed. She couldn’t believe nor understand anything that was happening to her right now.
Reddington, the man she had known for eight years, the infuriating, deceiver and complete pain in the ass Raymond Reddington, most wanted man in this world, was asking for something that didn't make sense to her.
He was asking her to take his life away.
He was asking for his death.
All for just taking over his empire, to “show the world she was a force to be reckoned with”, or that's what he said, for her to be safe from others who would try to kill her. She had to kill the most wanted man in this world, haunted by every government. She had to kill the man who destroyed everything she cared about, took away everyone she loved. She had to kill the man who has saved her countless times, gave her an unwavering comfort, and the closest link to her mother. She had to kill Raymond Reddington. And, of all times she wanted to kill him, all the times to tell him to fuck off, yell at him, tell him to get out of her life…
… this wasn’t one of those times.
Goodness, what the hell was going on with her now? Why was she feeling like this, all scared, almost fragile, with the thought of taking his life? With all these times, dreaming about putting a bullet down his head, why was she doubting?
She had to do it, she had to go, stand in front of the restaurant where he will have his last meal, point her gun at him and kill him. It was supposed to be such a simple thing, she hated him, she couldn’t stand him and all the things he had done to her.
Yet, there was something in her, something really weird, that told her not to do it, that made this feeling of hate towards him go away. A sense of familiarity. A similar feeling she had with Sam, her adoptive father, or when she discovered that Red was her father, which later turned out that it wasn’t exactly that. A sense that made her feel safe around him, feel comfortable.
But she needed to push that feeling away and do what he asked for.
She had to take his life.
God, what bittersweet words they were for her.
Liz, after some moments, finally stood up from the bed and she went towards one of the drawers in the room, opening it. The gun was still there.
The weapon she was going to use to take that bastard’s life was still there.
She looked at it, doubting again. Why would he ask her that? Sure, he was sick and was going to die any sooner, and Townsend has discovered his secrets. But that… that wasn’t a reason to ask someone to take you live. Especially if that someone you are asking that is someone who you supposedly care about and love, and had given all your life for. That was one of the stupidest reasons she has ever heard that has come from him. Reddington, who’s been “missing” from the world all over his life now asking, almost begging, to her to take his life away. Someone who apparently never gives up on anything, keeps fighting to reach his objectives, now giving up entirely. Someone who just won a war against his biggest enemy, now prepared to lose his next battle against his ”closest” ally. What a paradox.
But doing that was the only way that everything could end, all this misery and tragedy would finally end with his death. She knew she wouldn’t be able to come back to her previous life, that was already a thing of the past, but she could start a completely new one. One without Red and all his stupid criminal games he called “The Blacklist”.
So, she took the gun in her hand and stuck it in the back of her jeans, hiding it with her white shirt. It was time to put an end to all of this, time to get over it and start a new life with Agnes on her side, protecting her from any danger like any mother would do. Well, not really every mom, most of them.
Elizabeth looked at herself in the mirror. Was she ready for doing it? No, did she want to do it? Hell no. But it was the only way she could possibly think of getting away from Reddington.
It was time to end this.
* * *
“Mommy?” Agnes said, her high pitched voice coming through her disposable phone. Elizabeth called Mrs. French to talk with Agnes, as she usually did at night since she was on the run. She was in the car, near Pascual’s, where she would murder him and put an end to everything, while Mrs. French was sitting near Agnes, letting her have a conversation with her mother.
“Yes, pumpkin?” Elizabeth’s voice was soft and calm, speaking with her daughter was one of the things that relaxed her the most and brought her joy.
“Are you coming here too late? I want you to listen to the story Mrs. French told me, it’s about fairies and princesses!”
“Oh, wow, that sounds so cool! I can’t wait to hear that story. But, maybe I will last a bit longer than expected, Agnes , but I'll try to come home as soon as possible.” She stayed silent for some seconds, as she looked outside through the window, watching observantly if Reddington had exited Pascual’s. She knew that, the moment she stopped talking with Agnes she had to exit and kill him. “I am going to see a friend who’s sick. He is going to travel far away, and I wanted to give him a last goodbye before he goes. But, when I finish my visit, I’ll go to Mrs. French’s house and you’ll tell me that super exciting story.”
“Is it Pinky who you are visiting?” As she heard her say that, Liz’s eyes widened in surprise.
“How did you know? Can you read minds now?”
“No I can’t! But when Pinky came and picked us up, he told us that he was going to travel around the world and he would never see us again. But, he sometimes stopped as he started coughing, so I asked him if he was okay, and he told me he was, he was just feeling a bit sick.” When Elizabeth heard what Raymond had told them, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt. She knew perfectly what he meant by that, she was going to be the one giving him that… travel, for calling it someway. “That’s how I knew you were going to see Pinky.”
“Oh, wow, you are such a smarty, sweetheart! Are you sure you don’t have any power of superintelligence?” She said, trying to avoid thinking about what she was going to do next and focus on the conversation with her.
“But mommy, superpowers don’t exist, as well as superheroes!” Agnes chuckled as she talked to her mother. Liz loved how she laughed, seeing her smile. That exact thing was the thing that made up her mind for killing Reddington: to make sure Agnes could smile, make her feel safe and hide her from the horrors of the world, this world he dragged them in.
“And how do you know that superheroes don’t exist? You haven’t met anyone?” She said in a cheerful voice, trying to hide the fact that, at the same time she was talking to her daughter, she was watching to see if anyone was leaving the restaurant.
“No! Wait, have you ever met a superhero before?”
“Of course I have! A lot of them, actually. One of them was your father, you know?”
“Daddy was a superhero?” Agnes said, really excited. Every time Liz talked about her father, she always got like that, excited and happy to know more about him. It kind of reminded her of herself whenever she had the chance of knowing more about her past. Although now… the only thing she wanted to know about her past was Reddington, who he was and why did her mother leave him that letter instead of giving it to her Sam, so that she could read it when she got older.
“He was! He was such a brave and strong superhero, and protected me from so many dangers. Even when he died he was there to protect me.” Her voice slowly became more weak and soft, as she remembered Tom and all the things he did for her until he was murdered. A completely unnecessary death that could have been avoided. But she quickly pulled those thoughts away and focused on the conversation that she was having with her daughter. “You too have met some super heroes. Aram for example! Don’t you think he is a superhero?”
“Aram? He is a silly guy, a really really silly guy! And he took me to you, and played with me. And he is super funny! But, is he really a superhero? He can’t fly!”
“Of course he can’t fly! But that he can’t fly doesn’t mean he isn’t a superhero. He does really really good things for people, playing with you for example, without caring what will happen to them next.” Her child’s joy was somehow infectious. She couldn’t help but smile at her comments, it was so endearing and slightly touching, it reminded Tom of her a lot.
“Then Aram is a very silly superhero!”
“Yes, yes he is, pumpkin!”
“And Pinky? Is he a superhero? He has done really good things to me, he brought me to you!”
“Pinky?” Liz stopped to think for some seconds. She didn’t know how to answer her. He was the most wanted criminal in the world, and has done terrible things to her. Yet, after all the pain he has caused her, he… “Yes, he is a superhero. A… pretty weird one. Yet he is a superhero. My superhero.” She was able to say. Even if he caused her a lot of pain, she still saw the superhero in him, the not-so-bad part of him. And the twisted and hella motherfucker superhero he was.
“Well, mommy, you are also my superhero! You have done plenty of good things for me, so that’ll make you my superhero!”
“Pumpkin…” Her voice was softer than before, feeling more and more touched by her words. “You are also my little superhero, and you’ll always be.”
Before she ended the sentence, Elizabeth saw how some people started leaving the restaurant Red was in. It was finally time for doing this. My God, this was going to be so difficult…
“Hey, Agnes, I have to leave.” She said, looking how many people exited and seeing if any of them was Reddington. “I’ll call you when I’m going home.”
“Okay, mommy! I love you!” Agnes smooched the phone as she gave it to Mrs. French. “Bye!”
“I love you too, sweetheart!” She hung up the call as she looked outside for any sign of Reddington. But she didn’t see him.
But, some minutes later, she saw the door opening again. A man with a black three-piece suit, fuchsia tie and fedora came out of the restaurant. Reddington.
As she saw him, she got out of the car, her gun behind her jeans, still hidden under her white shirt. She took some deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.“You have to do this, Liz. You can do it. You will do it.” she repeated to herself, trying to ease the doubts she had again about what was going to happen next.
So, she finally decided to go and kill him.
Elizabeth moved quickly to where he was, putting her hand on the back of her jeans and grabbing the gun. She walked for a few meters, crossing the road at a steady pace and reaching the sidewalk. She moved slowly behind and raised her gun, making a little noise with it so he would know where she was.
Reddington turned to her, his usual stoic expression now facing her unsecure expression, as if he didn’t care what was going to happen next. He tilted his head slightly, as if he was telling her he was more than ready to end this.
“Come on, Elizabeth, do it.” He said to her, noticing how unsure she was feeling about this. “It’s okay. Everything will be okay. Just do it”
Liz’s hands trembled, her palms got sweaty due to the stress she was feeling. This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be real.
“I…” Her voice was soft, she almost sounded scared.
“It’s alright Elizabeth. It’ll be quick. Everything would end up in a blink of an eye.” He kept reassuring her. God, why couldn’t he just tell her not to do it? That everything was just a sick and twisted game of his and she didn’t have to do it? Why?
“I can’t do it. I can’t kill you.” She lowered her gun, her eyes telling him that she was scared. Scared of losing him. So he had to say something quick, something that could anger her or make her forget that feeling of fear and focus on the task at hand.
“Elizabeth, you need to do it. You need to kill me” He said, his voice getting a bit more serious than before. “I am the one who took away everything you loved and cared about. I am the reason behind it. Do it, kill me, and you’ll get that revenge you have hoped for years.”
As she heard that, she took a deep breath to brush away all the emotions and remember the words he said. She needed to take revenge on him, he took away everyone she cared about. She needed to do it. She had to do it.
She raised her gun again, pointing straight at his chest. She could hear her own heartbeat, stress almost taking over her.
“Very good Elizabeth, you are doing so-” Before he could even finish the sentence, Reddington's eyes widened in surprise. He quickly grabbed his gun and pointed at Elizabeth.
Liz stood there in shock. What the hell was he doing? He wasn’t going to kill her right? He wasn’t going to do it. He couldn't do it. She closed her eyes, grabbing her gun tightly, trembling still.
Two shots lingered in the air. Then, a third one sounded.
Liz opened her eyes. She was… fine, nothing happened to her. So she looked up, to see what happened.
Reddington, on the other hand, wasn’t so fine. His face showed a sense of surprise but slight comfort, some blood came out of his mouth while he looked at his chest. His hand was a bit under his chest, revealing what had happened.
He was shot.
Elizabeth finally shot him.
As she realized what happened, she rushed towards him, catching him before he abruptly fell to the floor.
“Reddington! My goodness, what have I done?!” She yelled, as she grabbed him by the back, her eyes started watering, some tears landing over his shirt. She looked down, where the bullet wound was and then back at his face. “Please don’t go away, please don’t go away!” She cried, putting his body over hers as she pulled him into an embrace. The whole words just went silent for her. No background noise, no cars, no people. Nothing. Just her cries and Reddington. But then, she suddenly hear something.
“Маша…” A soft voice said to her ear, the same ear in which Red's head was resting near. But wasn’t his voice, it wasn’t a masculine voice either, but a feminine one. It was soft and calming, and really familiar. But why did that voice call her by her Russian name?
“Маша. Спасибо, Маша.” The voice said again. She didn’t understand what it was saying. Yet, she somehow knew perfectly what it was saying. The voice was thanking her for what she had done. She didn't understand what was happening, so she pulled a bit away just to see who it was.
It was her. Katarina Rostova. Her mother.
She was there, just where Reddington was laying on her. Her mouth was covered in blood, just like his, and she was over her body. Just like how he put Red in order to hug him. She smiled at her daughter, a smile Liz wished she didn’t see at that exact moment.
Elizabeth wanted to say something, but the words didn’t come out of her mouth. She was there, looking in disbelief at her mother.
“Спасибо за все, что вы сделали, за то, что сделали мой мир ярче.” (Thank you for all you have done, for making my world brighter.) Katarina kept saying, smiling still at her child. “Я люблю тебя, милая.” (I love you, sweetheart.)
Elizabeth kept looking at her. Even though she didn’t know a bit of Russian, she knew exactly what she was saying. And it made her eyes tear up. Why was she now showing up, right in front of her, for no reason after what she had done? Unless…
… Reddington was Katarina.
That couldn’t be. Her mother, the one that had presumably abandoned her and disappeared, had always been watching her, protecting her? That couldn’t be right. But it was the only logical explanation this situation had at that moment.
And she just killed her.
She kept looking at her, disbelief in her eyes, as she felt how her hand slowly approached her cheek and caressed it. “Мне жаль.” (I’m sorry) She softly said, not removing her glance at her.
Liz’s body kept trembling, a wave of miserability coming along with another of guilt. God, what had she done. She had done it again. She had killed someone she loved again. First, it was her father, and now her mother. She couldn’t believe this situation, any of it. This was horrible, completely-
“Elizabeth!” Dembe shouted, shaking her shoulder as he interrupted her thoughts. He was standing behind her, it seemed he had been for some time now. “We need to go, the FBI is coming!”
She looked at him, as if she didn’t know what was going on. She looked back at where her mother was, but she was no longer there. Instead, Red’s lifeless body was resting over her as it was doing before.
“No… not yet. I can’t, I can’t leave her… him like this.” Her voice was shaky, filled with emotions as tears rolled down her cheeks.
“You can cry all you want later, now we need to go. Quickly.” As he said that, he grabbed Liz by the arm and lifted her up, Red’s body falling onto the floor.
He forced her to move away towards Red’s black car, but before she even moved, she grabbed Red’s fedora and run away with Dembe, leaving Red’s dead body laying on the floor, blood starting to come out of it.