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“Evbo? I'd like some advice, namely on the food situation.” Emf called out, stepping off the command blocks.
Evbo materialized before them, hopping from an invisible block onto the armrest of the champion's throne, Emf's throne, they supposed, not that they ever spent much time on it. Evbo sat, legs crossed, his head propped up by his hands, a soft smile adorning his lips. His striped hoodie was tied around his waist, revealing the sleeveless black tunic he wore underneath, his signature headband was still tied around his head, a huge contrast to the purple halo above his head, but it was so Evbo that it worked.
“Of course, my dear champion.” he teased, “how can i help?”
“I want to improve the lower levels, make sure everyone's being treated well. What was the food situation like? back when the evil champion was in charge.” Emf asked
Evbo hummed.
“Well, you know about the master level, as for the pros… They got steak for their daily tasks. Y'know it took me a while to get used to steak. It made me really sick the first couple days. My body definitely wasn't ready for cooked meat. or being full for that matter. It was a big adjustment.” Evbo said, trailing off for a moment, lost in thought. Emf's eyes widened.
“...Sometimes I still crave the bloody, sinewy raw meat from when I was a noob.” Evbo continued “the feeling of scarfing down that cold raw meat, the chunks getting caught in my teeth, it being just enough to take the edge off of the hunger pangs. That animalistic rush…” Evbo shook his head. emf's mouth dropped open.
“I never realized how weak, and small I was until I reached the master level. all the masters are shredded! Even seawatt was kinda buff… I mean, when you dropped from the sky when I was still a pro I thought you were a god. So beautiful and muscular and just radiating an authoritative air and oh my god your jewellery-. Oh! and the food on the master level? Those golden carrots were like ambrosia to me. And pumpkin pie? Cake? heavenly.” he rambled.
“you’re telling me the noobs were eating raw beef?” Emf said, horrified.
“Actually, most of us were eating raw chicken, beef was the harder jump. you and I wouldn't bat an eye at a 1 block vertical jump now, but making that jump when you're so malnourished you can't sprint? It was better to take the safer option for your only meal for the day, if the pros came down at all.”
Emf felt ill. they couldn't imagine eating once a day, and being forced to eat raw meat at that.
“Wait, what do you mean if the pros came down?”
“There were days every so often where whichever pro was assigned to feed us just, didn't show up. three of my neighbors died of starvation… shouldn't you know this already, Emf? I mean I skipped out on my tasks once and you came down to fight me.”
Emf thought back to when they'd first met evbo. The god before them, back when he was a pro, had been small, gaunt, and pale, and slightly dishevelled. When compared to the pros around him, it had been obvious to emf that Evbo was the rumoured noob who'd made it up to the pro level.
They knew noobs were fed by the pros, after all it was Emf's job to make sure the pros were completing their tasks, but they'd assumed the noobs were being given cooked food in exchange for a daily parkour evaluation. Emf had no idea their situation was that dire, that they'd somehow been unaware of people skipping out on their job when it was time to give food to the noob level.
The evbo before them was still small, but there was more colour to his face, his cheeks- dusted slightly pink- were no longer sunken in, his arms were thicker, more muscular, his hair was shinier, reflecting the soft purple glow from the god's halo. Though he looked healthier, ethereal was another word that came to emf's mind, it was clear that his time on the noob level had taken a toll on him, that even becoming a god was unable to undo the damage. How many had died due to their ignorance? Emf felt the tears welling up in their eyes, breath catching in their throat.
“I… how did i not realise… it was my job to… oh my god evbo I'm so sorry. I failed you, failed them! I shouldn't be champion. How can I be in charge of all of Parkour Civilization when I couldn't even keep an eye on the pros properly?” Emf cried, turning away from Evbo, burying their face in their hands, tears falling freely from their eyes.
a warm hand clasped emf’s shoulder.
“Emf, please look at me.” Evbo said softly. when Emf looked up from their hands, he was floating in front of them, so their faces were level. Evbo's expression was something soft, Emf would've said adoration if it were anyone else, but this was Evbo , their friend, their god .
Evbo brought his scarred hands up and gently cupped their cheeks, wiping Emf's tears away with his thumbs. Emf sniffled.
“You’re the reason the noobs are free today, that the prison is gone, that people can respawn if they fall. You're actively improving the lives of everyone in parkour civilisation.
If you hadn't come down to kick my ass that day, we'd still be stuck under the evil champion and seawatt's system. You saved them just as you saved me by helping me, by giving me the means to fight them, by staying by my side since then. you summoned me today to ask how to improve the lower levels.” he said, leaning forward, connecting their foreheads.
“B-but…”
“You are my champion, you've already proven you deserve to be here. We can’t undo the past, but, we can fix the system to stop it from happening again. I know you can do it. after all, you saved parkour civilization with me twice, Emf. Don't sell yourself short, my dear champion." he said decisively, smiling at Emf.
“Evbo… all I did the second time round was get trapped, how did I help?” Emf rasped, tears still streaming down their face. Evbo continued to wipe them away, the roughness of his calloused fingers soothing, Emf found themself leaning into his touch.
“You were my motivation in the lost level, Emf. Sure saving the world was important too but finding you? making sure you were safe? That was why I fought so hard to survive.
While I was following those compasses to the discs, you were my true compass, my guide home.” Evbo murmured, tracing little circles on their cheeks, his beautiful, bright emerald green eyes never once leaving
Emf’s face.
“Every night we were on the lost level, I stared at the sky because the constellations remind me of the ones scattered across your skin. It kept me calm, focused.
You have helped me so many times, and saved them too,” he said, indicating toward the world beneath them. “why wouldn't I make you my champion?”
“Well, when you put it like that…” emf sniffled and cracked a smile “it almost sounds like a confession.” they giggled. fragile hope blooming though the pit in their stomach.
“Maybe it is.” their god replied, smiling back, eyes flicking down to emf's lips for a moment, meeting their gaze once more, “Can i-”
“please kiss me”
Emf's eyes fluttered closed as their lips met, they instantly melted into the kiss. Emf felt evbo's hand slide into their hair, tilting emf's face up slightly. their arms snaked around Evbo's waist, pulling him closer, Evbo gasped against their lips, and emf smiled in turn, deepening their kiss.
Emf’s not sure how long they were there like that, exchanging kisses until emf pulled away gasping for air.
His head brushed against something solid. At some point they'd ended up on the throne, with Evbo on their lap.
Emf couldn't help but stare lovingly at the man on top of them, his lips were red and swollen, hair mussed, the headband abandoned on the throne somewhere beside them.
He was absolutely ethereal, the setting sun behind them casting a peachy glow on his skin. God, Emf was so far gone for him. They never thought they'd be able to have this, have Evbo, especially after he became a god. Emf is so glad they were wrong.
Evbo let out a bubbling laugh, before dropping his head on Emf's shoulder, his lips grazing their collarbone, earning a sharp inhale from the champion.
“I love you” he whispered, nuzzling his face deeper into Emf's neck, “have for a while now. You don't need to say it back, i'm yours, if you'll have me”
“I love you too, Evbo.” they whispered, pressing a kiss into Evbo's hairline. “so much.”
They sat for a moment, a comfortable silence falling between them as they remained enveloped in eachother.
“Evbo, I think I know what to do with the food now.”
“Hm? Oh good, I'm glad.” He replied, Emf could feel him smile against their chest.
--
Arlene had only been in parkour civilization for a few days, but she'd made a friend, Jasper, almost immediately after waking up in the parkour temple. Jasper had been on the noob floor for a month, they'd been training daily for the pro floor test for a week or so when they'd bumped into Arlene after she'd respawnned having overshot her jump towards the real estate building. Jasper had Immediately started helping her get set up and taught her the basics.
Right now, the duo were sitting inside the parkour temple, in the waiting area built for people to hang out and practice in while they waited for their turn to take the test. Arlene liked it there, she was able to watch how other noobs tackled jumps. Everyone was so supportive, giving tips and cheering for people on the course. It felt like a true community.
There was a stand in the waiting area that sold steak, apples, and baked potatoes, all for a 1 block jump. These stands were dotted all over the noob level, which was handy because Arlene kept missing jumps and losing her food.
Arlene and Jasper were eating together as they watched the noobs in the temple take turns tackling the course.
Two people entered the temple, their hands intertwined.
“Ev, why are we here again?” The tall one asked,
Their deep voice immediately caught Arlene's attention. They were beautiful, in an otherworldly way. Their skin was an inky black and littered with marks that twinkled like stars. Their robe was midnight purple, with gold clasps, they wore a crown of gold, with little blue stones embedded in it, their long black hair adorned with matching gold thread. Her eyes flicked down to their boots. They were diamond. Arlene's eyes widened, she blindly patted at Jasper, getting their attention.
“What is it, Arlene?” jasper asked, dragging their eyes away from their other friend, Jack, who was a third of the way up the course.
“Is that the champion?” She whisper-shouted pointing towards the two by the entrance.
“Come on-!” The shorter person, Ev?, whined “let's go parkour all the way back up! It'll be fun! We never do this kind of thing! You've been busy with so many meetings this week, i wanna do something with you”
“Oh, yeah that's Emf, the champion, and their boyfriend Evbo.” Jasper said nonchalantly, taking a bite of their baked potato. “Evbo was down here a couple weeks ago teaching techniques for tackling new jumps. Though he ended up rambling about how much he loves Emf for like an hour.”
“Aw! They're on a date down here! That's so cute” she said, smiling. Evbo was at least a foot, maybe even a foot and a half shorter than his partner, but he was just as pretty, with piercing green eyes, silky blonde hair, a ridiculously long headband that matched the hoodie he was wearing and that ethereal purple halo. Her eyes flitted down to Evbo's boots, a purple so deep it almost looked black, that pulsated a brighter purple with every step he took.
“Hey what rank is Evbo? I've never seen boots like that, they're not on the statues. Is he from the lost level they're trying to restore?”
Jasper snorted beside her.
“No, the fighters on the lost level wear chainmail boots. His are netherite. Evbo's the parkour god.”
“WHAT?” she yelled, startling everyone around her. “GOD IS REAL, ATTRACTIVE, TEACHES PARKOUR, AND IS DATING THE VERY PRETTY CHAMPION? WHAT THE FUCK? HOW IS THAT FAIR?”
across the room, Emf burst into laughter, which devolved Into silent laughter punctuated by wheezing upon seeing Evbo's reddening face.