Work Text:
For once in his life, Osamu Dazai walked in his apartment without calling out to Chuuya Nakahara, or just making a big commotion in general. This time, he had someone with him. Kyouka Izumi. The Port Mafia Assassin, who had killed over 35 people (and counting).
Said kid, had just passed out from exhaustion from overworking and not keeping a healthy diet (i.e. mainly crepes and stolen chips from Ranpo).
Dazai just happened to be the only one in the office at the time, slacking off from missions and paperwork, to glance over and see one of the two people he cared about most in the agency collapse. Not even thinking about the consequences for leaving work, without telling anyone he was taking Kyouka, and not thinking about Chuuya. His husband, who would definitely be taken by surprise when he saw Dazai carrying a fourteen year old girl, could turn him away.
"Hey, fucker-"
Chuuya poked his head out from the kitchen, stopping in his tracks when he saw what the other held in his arms.
"She- she passed out in the office- I didn't know what to do."
"Is that- Kyouka?"
The redhead had fully walked over to his partner by now, recognizing the younger by her fluffy purple-black hair and red kimono. The brunette sighed and nodded his head, "I'm sorry I didn't call you before, I don't-"
"Hey, it's fine. You did the right thing. Why don't you go get her changed and I'll fix another plate for when she becomes conscious?"
"Okay. Thank you, Slug,"
With that, the two went their separate ways, Dazai getting Kyouka a new pair of clothes and Chuuya preparing more food.
Not setting the girl down for a second, the Fish made quick work of taking her kimono off, setting it to the side nicely, and slipping on a light purple oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants. Carrying Kyouka back to the kitchen, Chuuya had already set out the three plates, each with chopsticks and a glass of water.
"Do you want to set her down while we start eating?" The Slug compromised with the other, knowing his partner's anxiety was spiking because of her.
The worry of her.
"C'mon, you can lay her on the couch, keep an eye on her while you eat something,"
Agreeing with his proposition, Dazai went to set the girl down softly on the couch, draping a blanket over her. Taking the short walk back to the dining table, he took a seat next to Chuuya, who was at the head of the table.
"So, how was the first part of your day?"
"Fine. Kunikida yelled at me for not doing my work and Atsushi finished it for me,"
"You really need to give that kid a break,"
"It's fine, he likes it,"
"I doubt that's the reason he's doing your papers,"
Taking his chopsticks, Dazai started eating his dinner, salmon with rice, zoning out while Chuuya went in depth in his day. Moments later, shuffling was apparent in the living room. A purple-black haired girl popped her head up, hair frizzing out in multiple directions.
"Um, Dazai-san? Where am I?"
Quickly exiting his seat and heading over to the couch, he knelt down in front of her,
"Hey, you're at my apartment. You passed out during work so I brought you here. How are you feeling?"
"I passed out? What?"
"Yeah. I'm guessing that it was from overworking. But don't worry too much about it! You can stay the night and we'll get you a warm meal and everything,"
Looking down at her clothes, she spoke again, "Did you change me?"
Nodding, "I did, yes. I hope that's alright, Bunny. Do you want dinner? Chuuya just made some salmon,"
Kyouka nodded her head in reply, letting Dazai lead her to the table, sitting her so she'd be across from him. The two went to eat quietly, Kyouka taking small sips from her water glass, while Chuuya tried to process what just happened.
His husband- His partner just calmed down Kyouka, using a nickname??, all while he sat there, helpless. Helpless might not be the right word, the 'Bunny', as Dazai put it, obviously didn't need more confusion with two strangers (stranger was a harsh word to describe Dazai, Chuuya was really the stranger in the situation) trying to explain what the hell happened.
With everything that was going through Chuuya's head, he failed to realize Kyouka was communicating something in Morse code.
Why is Chuuya-san here?
Dazai laughed softly, "Oh, that? He's my husband, sorry, I forget that most people don't know we live together,"
"Oh. How long have you been married?"
"Hmm, Slug, would you say it's almost five years?"
"Next month, yeah,"
"Does the president know?"
"Yeah. Found out on my first day! But don't tell Kunikida, I'm sure he'd explode if he found out," He giggled at the thought, taking another piece of food and swallowing it.
"Mhm, he did freak out when he found out about Atsushi and Akutagawa,"
"He did!! I almost forgot about that!"
"Hold up- Atsushi and Akutagawa?? Like Shin Soukoku, Atsushi and Akutagawa??" Chuuya's elegance cutting through the conversation like a knife.
"Yes!! Oh my god, did I not tell you?? Yosano caught them making out!!"
"Atsushi told me it was just a small kiss,"
"Yosano definitely lied to us then," Dazai understandably nodded, indulging Kyouka.
Finishing their meal, Chuuya took the dishes to the sink to clean up, Kyouka and Dazai's fish only being half eaten. Said people had migrated to the living room, flipping through Disney+ looking for a movie. Setting up the table decorations back up, he went to the others, sitting next to Kyouka, who was staring at the television with wonderment.
"What'd you guys decide on?"
"Mulan, of course,"
Of course he says, as if it was the obvious.
Hours passed, finishing Mulan, and moving on to Meredith, then watching a few episodes of Bluey.
The redhead paused the movie, "Okay, you two, time for bed,"
"Noooo, Chuuya!!"
"Kyouka needs her rest! And so do you!"
"Uffff, fine! Only because of her,"
Said girl had fallen asleep on Dazai's shoulder, halfway through Meredith, and was slightly drooling on the other's shirt. Chuuya stood up from his spot,
"Are you alright if I pick her up?"
Glancing up, "That's alright,"
Doing so, Chuuya bent down, lifting the girl up and holding her close. Dazai, finally being free from the weight, stood up as well. The two adults walked over to their room, softly setting Kyouka down and lifting the covers over her. The brunette leaned down, kissing her forehead gently, carefully rubbing her shoulder.
"Good night, Kyo', see you in the morning,"
He looked back up to Chuuya, who had a faint blush on his face, the domestic scene being too much for him.
"Let's get to bed, Puppy," He smiled, leading the short dog outside the room, keeping the door ajar to let light in, and to the couch.
"Thank you for being cool about this. I know it just happened,"
"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm not mad at all, I promise you did the right thing. If I was upset, I promise you'd know,"
Breathing, Dazai nodded, "So, we're sleeping on the couch tonight?"
"Hfhh, I guess so. It feels like we're teenagers again,"
"Yeah, but this time we have a kid,"
His eyes widened at that, realizing what the fuck he had just said.
"Shit- I didn't mean it like that- Chuuya, I-"
"Hey, sweetie, you're fine. Please calm down- Dazai,"
Breathing in and out, he relaxed, shoving his head into Chuuya's shoulder. "I hate you,"
"Uh-huh, I hate you too, let's get some rest,"
Finally slipping down on the couch, Dazai rested his head on Chuuya's chest, his heartbeat (something that proved Chuuya was human) helped the other fall asleep quicker. The redhead covered them both in a blanket, making sure the brunette was safe and sound in their apartment.
"I love you, Slug,"
"Yeah, I love you too, Mackerel,"