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His heart was beating to his throat. “STOPINTHENAMEOFTHELAAAAAWWWW” he screamed at the Don who stared Jimmy up and down. His palms were sweaty and he felt his chest heaving, he was breathing as fast as possible and still felt dizzy. Was he hyperventilating? Or did he not get enough air? It was impossible to tell. “You come into my home and you yell at me?”
Breathe in. Breathe out.
What did the Don say? Jimmy's gaze fell on his still outstretched hand. Why was his heart beating so fast? Well probably because he had just taken a dose of pure meth…
Breathe in. Breathe out. Ground yourself!
“I’VE GOT TEN FINGERS!”
Did he just say that out loud? He felt his legs tremble and tried to lean against the wall for some stability.
“Why don’t you take a seat?” Was it that obvious? This was still a police operation, Jimmy couldn’t show any weakness in front of the Don. He had to get his shit together and calm down. “I’ll stand!” He was heaving.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in.
…
Had he already taken a breath in? Why was this suddenly so confusing?
“You look out of breath son. You sure you wouldn’t rather calm down and speak more quietly?” Why was the Don making such a fuss over him? He should be worried for his own freedom! After all, Jimmy was a police officer now, he had a real badge!
“NOOO… no - I’m here to take you in! You’ve been killing comptrollers all over the place and I’m gonna tell you what I think…”
Suddenly, Jimmy didn’t want to hold back anymore. This man had killed people, this was a real bad guy! He found himself unable to stop speaking, finally letting out some of the emotions that had built up inside of him.
After Jimmys rage fueled monologue, the Don just looked at him. Way too calm for someone who had just been accused of murder. “Here’s the thing: morality isn’t a black and white situation…”
What was the Don talking about? Jimmys vision went in and out of focus. He leaned against the wall and felt like he was about to fall unconscious. Being an officer was way more stressful than he had imagined. He felt like he could feel the blood pulsing through his brain.
Were there even blood vessels in the brain? Jimmy didn’t remember.
Ground yourself! Breathe in. Breath-
Suddenly Jimmys focus snapped onto what was happening in front of him: Where had Toby appeared from?? The tailor jumped at the Don, slit his throat and licked the blade of his knife before disappearing as fast as he had turned up. He was trembling.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
WHAT? Jimmy stared at the limp body in front of him, blood spilling from the cut on the Dons neck. Had he just witnessed a murder? Nothing felt real anymore. Blood was rushing through his body, through his still intact veins while the Don lay on the floor, bleeding out and Jimmy just stood there, staring.
He had to do something, he was a police officer now! “STOP TOBY! You’re under arrest for murder!”
Toby’s voice seemed to echo from the walls… “I’m gone kid…” Had he really said that? Jimmy made a few steps towards Toby’s voice. Was that the right direction? Suddenly the echo seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. He was trembling.
“I’ll take you in for this!” He had to find Toby! Find him and all the other criminals! And show them that he was not one to mess with. “I’ll catch you, I’ll make the streets a safer place. I’m gonna get every single one of you, every murderer there is, I’ll be the best cop in the world and I’ll do it as soon as I step out of this-“
Where was the door? He looked down at the cat beside him. Since when was there a cat in this room? He reached down to pet it and almost tripped over his feet.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in… Take a long breath out. Calm down. Find the door and leave this damned room.
His legs gave in and Jimmy had to sit down. Why was everything wet? He turned his gaze down and stared at the red floor. What was happening? He had to get out of here but where was that fucking door?
Breathe in. How did that work again? Did he have to use his nose?
Breathe out. Why was there no air in his lungs? He had to find the door.
What was this mess on the floor? Jimmy tried to turn around. Ah right, there was a dead body loosing blood. Should he call an ambulance? But he didn’t even have a phone with him. Hopefully his dad would be here soon to open the door for him.
There was a dead body on the floor?? Jimmy looked down at himself. His hands were full of blood, the floor was red as well everything bloody everywhere fuck he had sat down in this puddle of blood fucking hell!
Jimmy tried to scramble backwards, away from the dead body, but his feet slipped on the wet ground, he wasn’t able to move quickly enough, move away from the growing puddle of blood that threatened to devour him, pull him down as well, into the world of the dead. He felt his whole body cramping, as if to prepare for his inevitable death.
Someone was screaming. Whose voice was that?
Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe… out? What the fuck. Where was the door?
He had to lay down. His heart was racing and everything seemed blurry. He was about to die, wasn’t he? Just like the Don. His punishment for not being able to keep Toby from committing a murder right in front of his eyes.
Jimmy collapsed onto the ground. His body was shaking. What was happening here? Every effort to somehow still reach the door and escape from this blood-smeared room seemed hopeless. Where was his dad? He had to find the door to get out of here! He was trembling.
Breathing seemed impossible. But his lungs were already full, weren’t they? He didn’t need to breathe then, all good. His heart was beating fast. That had to mean he was alive. He didn’t need to breathe then. Where was his dad? He had to reach the door. His body was cramping.
Where was his dad? Blood everywhere. When had he closed his eyes?
Breathe in? No.
Where was the door?
Where was his dad?