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Look, I like to think of myself as a reasonable person, an easy going kind of guy, pretty relaxed and willing to just go with the flow, roll with the punches. So you might wonder how a guy like me would storm out of the 7th gym on his journey to becoming the newest Champion of the Hoenn region. Well, let me tell you a little story.
I started my journey later in life after missing several other starting opportunities due to a series of mishaps. I also missed out on one of the traditional starters for my region, setting out with a Weedle my older sister’s Beedril had hatched earlier this year, which, don’t get me wrong, I love Estrella and all of her children, but just starting out with Persephone was NOT an easy task. Fighting Wingulls is easy when you have a normal starter, but when you’re running around with just a little baby worm with a spike on both ends? I used up a LOT of potions. Anyways, I could spend a whole book griping about my problems going through what is SUPPOSED to be an easy first gym when you have a water starter or a grass starter, or even a fire starter that's learned how to kick you to death, but my little bug struggled, even though she had fully evolved into a Beedril by then. But long story short, I wound up with a Sableye named Asclepius, a Wailord named Pandora, a Tropius named Zephyrus, an Altaria named Eos, and a Seviper named Stheno and we made it really far! I mean, I ran across these Team Aqua goons, but they wound up falling to the might of my team! And by that I mean I hid in the shadows and snuck past them, making sure to not toss out Pandora when I did get caught because otherwise she was going to ABSOLUTELY get me caught, I mean she’s GIGANTIC, but man does she make an impact when I send her out in gym battles.
But like I was saying, I am a pretty easy-going kind of guy, rolling with the punches, diving through hot springs even though I have issues with heat and I nearly passed out after the FIRST FRICKING POOL, nearly electrocuting myself on some stupid barriers, did I mention that I broke my nose wandering through the darkness and no, it wasn’t by running into a wall, SOMEONE PUNCHED ME IN THE FUCKING FACE IN THE DARKNESS! But I rolled with that punch, I just went with the vibes, but when I got into the Mossdeep Gym… I wanna start with saying how afraid of heights I am. So when I walk in and I am standing above a yawning chasm? Ha… I was assured by everyone there that I was going to be perfectly fine floating along on those dotted lines, but I ABSOLUTELY rode on the back of Zephyrus the entire time. Did he need to flap once? No, but the fact that he COULD helped reassure me. So I battle my way through some GROWN ADULTS, turn on some switches and float through some platforms and constantly try to fight down the panic attack I am battling due to being above a VAST YAWNING CHASM with only some tenuous floating standing between me and a painful death.
Again, stressing that I am an easy-going guy, dealing with one of my greatest fears in order to continue on my journey wasn’t even that big of a deal… But when I go to that final platform.... and there were a couple of fucking toddlers? LITERAL 10 YEAR OLDS? And on top of that they were dressed in these cutesy matching pyjama sets…. And then they busted out synchronized choreography? Like, I am sorry, but are you psychics or dancers? I am confusion, Mossdeep explain. And then, those little smirking pieces of shit stand up, do their little dance in unison and then they BOTH THROW OUT A POKEMON! Like?? Hello?!? What the fuck?? Out of the blue, these CHILDREN throw out a PAIR of Pokemon, completely out of the blue? How was I supposed to be ready for that?! I just left. I fucking walked out. I looked at those two children, tossed the fee for losing in their faces and walked out. I fucking hope I hit one of those brats with a quarter…. I mean I don’t really, I only threw bills and I threw them at their feet, but MAN if they were ACTUAL ADULTS then I could have fucking done something about their CHEATING. But when I complained to the Official League, they pointed to some obscure code and told me to grow up. TOLD ME TO GROW UP! They are the ones employing literal 10 YEAR OLD CHILDREN as GYM LEADERS! Sweet Arceus, what is going on in the Hoenn region?!
It took me a good month and a half to get over this HORSEA INK before I went back to my gym challenge. Spent a few weeks doing initiation with those Team Aqua guys, and when I got nothing but blank stares when I asked where people were going to live, I kinda got the idea that they didn’t have much of an idea of how to run an organization, let alone the world if they managed to actually SUCCEED. So, I sailed out on the back of Pandora and back onto my journey. Thankfully, the route from Lilycove to Mossdeep isn’t too long and Pandora made short work of it. But going back into that gym… That's something I still need to get myself ready for, but watch out. Those little brats are pretty good at using Psychic Pokemon and they WILL use 2 Pokemon at a time, so make sure you have your Double Battle strats ready. And maybe have a Dark or a Ghost type on hand. Oh, or you could be a cool kid and have a Bug!