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Hey! Are your weapons no longer cutting it? Would your style get you laughed out of Hytopia? Do you have no clue how to fix your problems? Then you’re in luck!
Ravio’s Emporium is here for all your heroing needs! From fashion gathered across the newly jumbled-up land to the finest weapon selection outside of Lorule, we provide everything you need for a fantastic price!
Running low on rupees? No problem! All our items are available to rent indefinitely at a greatly reduced rate! ( Terms and conditions apply)
Opening Soon
NOW OPEN
The quartet looked at the sign, the bottom of which had seemingly been hastily edited with black paint, with varying levels of confusion. When they left the city yesterday, travelling to intercept what they believed to be an offensive push but ended up being little more than a pack of Bokoblins hunting for food, nothing had been out of the ordinary. Now, under twenty four hours later, one of the houses near the city’s front gate had been adorned with what appeared to be a giant purple rabbit head, the painted wood adding an extra storey of height to the building. The sign held a similar design, being an identical shade of purple with two protrusions resembling bunny ears on top.
“We should keep going.”
Lana turned to Impa in surprise. “What? You’re not even a little curious?”
“We have already lost a day on this wild Cucco chase,” Impa crossed her arms, “it would be best for us to return to the castle and continue planning for–”
The Sheikah’s admonishment was cut off by a loud slam as a figure crashed out of the building. He was almost certainly the titular Ravio, wearing a mask identical to the building’s roof over purple robes and a blue scarf.
“Customers!” He blurted out. “Welcome, welcome! I’m sure I’ve got plenty of whatever you want inside!”
“We–” Impa started, only to be rapidly cut off as the man’s attention was immediately grabbed by a different member of their group.
“Hey, hang on! I know you!” He bobbed his head up and down, looking over Link’s armoured tunic from beneath his mask. “You’re a hero, right? Is your name Link too?”
Link gave a solitary nod.
“Why didn’t ‘cha say so earlier? Come on in, Mr. Hero! And Miss Hero! And other Miss Hero! Third Miss Hero, too!”
Before the group knew it the salesman was behind them, pushing them onwards. He was stronger than he looked, successfully sending them all stumbling forwards. They elected to walk the rest of the distance of their own accord.
The interior was as visually striking as its exterior. A lengthy counter stretched across the building’s middle portion, open on either end to allow quick access to a customer as needed. Atop it was a light selection of items, mostly a rainbow of potion flasks but also several bowls of smaller things, such as deku nuts and a strange kind of green and yellow fruit. Immediately behind it was what they could only assume were the building’s former furnishings. Chairs, picture frames, and more had been piled into a large heap as Ravio couldn’t find a place for them. Zelda spotted the corner of a bed near its base, and wondered when the man last got any sleep.
Ravio dashed past them, scrambling over the counter before turning back to them, arms outstretched. “Welcome to the greatest store in Hyrule! On your left you’ll find our boutique.”
Shelves and repurposed wardrobes lined the walls of the building’s only carpeted section, laden with every type of clothing imaginable. Straw figures had been propped up throughout and dressed to highlight different sets of armour, tunics, and even formal wear which wouldn’t have been out of place inside Hyrule Castle’s chambers. Two mannequins bracketed a glass cabinet containing various pieces of jewellery while themselves wearing particularly eye-catching necklaces and tiaras. A pair of rudimentary changing rooms had been set up in the far corner, in front of which a tall mirror had been propped up against a wall alongside a hastily constructed podium.
Lana was already dragging Zelda into this section as Ravio turned his attention to the other side of the store. “And on the right, all the weapons you could want!”
This third of the building was far more barren, a notable portion of the floor having been torn up to create a moderately sized dirt arena. It also held a straw dummy, standing unadorned in the arena’s centre. Shelves covering the walls from floor to ceiling held every kind of weapon imaginable. At one edge, an array of swords were sheathed next to a variety of bows, directly underneath which were barrels holding different kinds of arrows (according to the labels, each bow rental came with unlimited regular arrows, though specialised arrows had to be bought separately). On the opposite side of the room, inside their own locked cabinet, was a supply of bombs and bombchus. Some items seemed out of place, like the weighty pair of gauntlets and the small display of musical instruments beside them, though it was easy to assume there was more to them than met the eye.
“Go ahead! Feel free to try before you buy!”
Impa’s eyes narrowed. On both sides, it was clear walls had been knocked away in order to convert the ground floor of the building into a single large chamber. The only remnants were several beams stretching from floor to ceiling, though she couldn’t tell if Ravio had a means of determining that they were load bearing or if he had simply gotten extremely lucky with his guesses. As it was, the place seemed somewhat stable, and should the worst happen Lana would be able to protect Zelda for the two seconds it would take her to sprint from one extreme of the store to another. With a final look towards the princess (who was currently holding several skirts as Lana pulled them from the shelves), she joined Link in browsing the weapons on offer.
Ravio could barely contain his excitement. He knew his store would be a hit, but four customers as soon as he opened? Plus, one of those people was a real, live, genuine hero, while another looked like she was part of some upper class family, both of which meant word of his emporium would spread across the kingdom for sure. He turned from side to side, watching the two parties as they looked through his wares, finally approaching Link as he pulled a long staff with a red orb perched on top off a stand.
“Good eye with that Fire Rod!”
Link held it out at arm’s length, feeling magic course through the weapon. Its orb illuminated slightly, levitating a centimetre from where it had rested.
“Look at that, you’re a natural! Hey, come over here.” He grabbed Link’s arm and dragged him into the arena, stopping a couple of metres from the straw figure. “Give it some swings! I’m sure you’ll be throwing fireballs in no time! Just do your best to not miss the target, ok?”
Link nodded and lowered his stance, giving Ravio the exit he needed to move to the opposite side of the building. Lana had disappeared inside one of the changing rooms, leaving Zelda to browse on her own. She was currently looking over a mannequin dressed in a more modern style to the others, a royal blue and white top bearing the Triforce symbol above a pair of plain black leggings.
“That one’s… er, I’m not actually sure where that one came from. Sheerow brought it in.”
“Sheerow?”
Zelda received a chirp in response. Down from the rafters flew what looked like a child’s drawing of a bird, a misshapen white body with human-like legs, blue wings, and striking red eyes. It flew circles around Ravio’s head, as if to highlight its own existence.
“My co-founder here! He’s not much of a salesman, but he’s got a beak for tracking things down like no one else.” The bird, seemingly content with his introduction, returned to his nest by the ceiling. “Anywho, if you’re interested, I’d be happy to take those clothes off so you can give them a try.”
Zelda shook her head. “Not quite my style I’m afraid. I’d like to ask a question, if I may.”
“Hm?”
“We didn’t notice anything while passing this building before, so I assume you’ve only recently moved in. Why did you choose to locate your store here?”
“When I was looking for a place to set up shop, some guy was basically giving away this place! Think he said something about having another place closer to the castle and not wanting to be on the front lines if monsters started showing up?”
Impa and Zelda both froze at this information. If people were taking preventative measures against a siege, however slight, it meant morale in the city wasn’t as high as they thought.
“Don’t know why he’d leave such a great location when all kinds of people are going to be passing in and out of the city every day, but hey, I’m not complaining! Though,” the rabbit mask tilted to the side as Ravio thought, “I hope I get enough funds to buy this place outright soon. He seemed like a guy who’d probably get angry if he came to collect rent and saw a couple walls missing.”
Zelda looked at him, blankly. “Yes, I imagine he would.”
He clapped his hands together. “But enough about that! If nothing here’s interesting you, then there’s this strange stick from those islands that popped up the other day which may be to your-”
BWOOOMF!
Ravio stopped mid-sentence and started running to the other side of the store, stumbling over his robes. Link, after several swings of the Fire Rod had resulted in little more than stray sparks, had figured out how to properly use the item. However, its strength surprised him, and the pillar of fire it created completely enveloped the practice dummy for several seconds. When the fire died down, the mannequin remained standing, albeit engulfed in flames.
“I’ve got it! I’ve got it!”
Reaching the rod display, Ravio grabbed one of the staffs, shook it to get the magic flowing, and swung it forward. A large icicle materialised above the dummy and dropped, instantly extinguishing the fire as it shattered on contact.
“Phew…” Ravio placed the Ice Rod back on its stand as he observed the burnt ring in the ceiling. “Uh… maybe you shouldn’t swing that around anymore. How about you look at some of our outfits instead? Y’know, if you wanted to pay homage to the real heroes that keep this kingdom running, we’ve got a postman’s uniform I think you’d look fetching in…”
“Is all your stock this dangerous?” Impa asked.
“Only in the correct hands. Like those!” Instantly forgetting Link, he moved close to the Sheikah as she held one of the oversized gauntlets. “Anyone would assume they fell off an Iron Knuckle, but go on! Give them a wear!”
Impa slipped her hand into the gauntlet. Despite the difference in scale, she felt it hold firmly in place as she let go with her other hand. She balled her hand into a fist within it. The fingers of the gauntlet moved likewise.
Ravio took the other gauntlet, placed it on Impa’s other hand, and gestured towards the test dummy. “Try them! Give that target what for!” He paused, looking towards the scorch marks in the ceiling, then over the shelves of gear lining the room. “But, y’know, towards the ground, please.”
“Ta-da!”
Whisking aside the curtain with a flourish, Lana emerged from a changing booth. She was wearing an ensemble strikingly similar to what she went in with, only following a green colour scheme compared with her usual whites and blues.
“So? What do you think?”
Ravio gave a thumbs up from across the store. “Looks great, Miss Hero!”
Zelda gave a slight smile and nod. “The colour does look good on you.”
“Thanks! Now, your turn.”
“Oh, nothing’s caught my eye, I’m afraid.”
“You can’t leave a clothes store without getting something!” Lana was already sifting through shelves, looking for something Zelda could try on.
“Really, I think–”
“Link!” The hero turned away from the potions on the counter and towards the sorceress. “Help me find something Zelda would look cute in. Ooh, what do you think about these boots?”
Link moved towards the clothing department (whether to help Lana find clothes or support Zelda in her protestations that she didn’t need anything, neither of them were sure), leaving Ravio and Impa alone amongst the weapons. The salesman turned his full attention to the warrior as she held her arm out, measuring the distance between herself and her target, before pulling it back and throwing a punch towards the dummy’s “abdomen”.
The request for her to aim groundwards was unneeded. Straw and wood, already weakened from the fire, practically disintegrated on contact into a mist of soot. The top half of the mannequin crashed to the floor. Impa noted that, despite the impact, the remaining dummy portion looked not only intact but still relatively durable.
“Well? What d’ya think?”
“It’s good,” Impa conceded, “impressive, even. However…”
She reached behind herself, unsheathing a blade practically as tall as she was. Slowly, carefully, she passed it between her hands, before giving it a single vertical spin. The blade cleaved through the hardened dirt below as if it wasn’t there. Shaking her head, she embedded the sword into the ground with as much ease as simply placing it down, before removing one of the gauntlets.
“The size of these means any fine control over a weapon is impossible, even if you were able to feel it. As the user fights, they will not be able to exhibit care with every move, and their weapon will inevitably be destroyed.” She pulled her sword out from the ground, sheathing it. “When that happens, they’ll be at a disadvantage against any monster with a weapon that gives them greater reach. For example, swords.”
“Well, of course! Which is why it comes with this!”
Ravio knelt down, opening the cupboard underneath the gauntlets’ display, and heaved out a large metal orb attached to a thick chain. In reality, he had planned on selling it as an add-on or individually as a training weight, but he felt this sale would be worth it. He carried the chain over to Impa, who gave it a test tug. The ball flew towards her and, after quickly shifting the chain to change its flight path, obliterated what remained of the target dummy.
“I’d like to see you destroy that in a fight! Though not really. Please take care of our products.”
Impa frowned. She placed the other gauntlet back on and tested the weight of the ball, squeezed the chain to ensure it could withstand the pressure, gave it further test swings once Ravio had retreated to a safe distance.
Finally she asked, “How much?”
“Excellent!”
Ravio dashed behind his counter, pulling out a notebook of prices that he began to pour through. As he did, the other three made their way towards the counter, Lana still wearing her green attire. Zelda wore her usual dress, her insistence on not wanting anything having won out.
“Now let’s see here…for the gauntlets, ball, and chain…buy or rent?”
“Buy.”
“Got it. Eight hundred rupees.”
Impa gave no response. She looked towards Link, who shook his head.
“That won’t work,” she said, “not for that price.”
Ravio rubbed his chin, frowning under his mask. “Hmm… I’m already throwing in the ball here, so I don’t… oh! I know!”
The salesman jogged into the weapon department, took the Fire Rod that Link had placed back following his incident, and returned to the counter. He then reached into a pocket deep in his robe, pulling out a tiny pair of purple rabbit ears with a rounded base. He placed them on top of the rod’s orb before giving it a test shake. Several small embers flitted out, but the ears remained firm.
“If you buy the gauntlet set today, I’ll throw in a Fire Rod rental, free of charge! Don’t tell me, I know what you’re thinking. ‘This is a mighty fine offer Ravio, but when am I gonna need to give it back?’” Link started to open his mouth, but the shopkeeper continued before he could say anything. “Here’s the great part pal, maybe never! Sure, if you ever fall in battle we’ll come collect it, but avoid that and you can use it as much as you’d like!”
Impa looked once more at Link. “Split?”
He looked into his rupee pouch, mentally counting the gems within, before nodding.
“And how much for this?” Lana asked.
“All together? Three hundred.”
Lana’s eyes widened. She knew there was no point in checking her pouch.
“Erm…and to rent?”
“Renting?” Ravio seemed genuinely shocked at the suggestion. “Nuh-uh! No way! Sheerow won’t be able to strip clothes off you in the middle of a battlefield, plus it would just be indecent! I couldn’t run a business like that!”
“It’s fine,” Zelda stepped in, “I’ll cover it.”
“You’d do that?” Lana asked.
“You can’t leave a clothes store without getting something. I’m just leaving with new information,” she said, looking towards Impa.
The Sheikah nodded. “I admit, this wasn’t as wasteful a trip as I feared.”
Before long, the rupees had been counted, the gauntlets and Lana’s old clothes were packaged, and the promise that the ball and chain would be shipped to Hyrule Castle post-haste was made.
“There we are! If you’d let all your friends know that Ravio’s Emporium isn’t a wasteful trip, I’d appreciate it!”
“We’ll be sure to do that, Mr. Ravio,” Zelda said as they walked towards the door. “Have a good day.”
“Thanks! Come again!”