Chapter Text
Redd glanced over the whiteboard in front of them. They rolled their eyes as the businessman before them went on and on about stocks and sponsors and shareholders… boring business stuff.
“...and that’s why we believe you should sponsor our business!” The man concluded, wearing a painfully and obviously fake smile.
…good lord. Do they ever think about anything other than my money?
“...I’ll consider your proposal.” Redd answered, stifling the urge to gag at the man’s hopeful smile in response. “Now why don’t you get goin’, pal?”
“Thank you, Mr. Molifica-”
“ Just call me Redd .” Redd corrected. “Now get out.”
“O-of course!” The man sputtered, packing it up and starting towards the door.
After the man was gone, Redd lazily turned to the huge stack of papers left to sign. They liked to imagine each paper was a person, swearing their eternal allegiance to Redd, their supreme overlord. They happily placed their mark on the person willing to worship them, then grabbed the next. Occasionally, they used a red pen, or a blue pen, or even a purple one. Slowly but surely creating their future empire, uninterrupted by anyth-
“Mx. Molifica, are you there?” The intercom on their desk rang out, causing them to jump and mess up a poor servant’s mark.
“ What? ” Redd grumbled.
“They’ve got the one you want.” The person over the intercom replied, “They’re waiting for you, now.”
Oh. A smirk began to form.
“...of course. I won’t be too long, then.” Redd said, nodding as if anyone could see them. After they’d hung up, Redd turned to the extremely large cat tower behind them, peering all the way up at the top.
“Shizu, honey?” They called, “I’m fixin’ to get outta here in just a sec, business calls. If anyone touches my stuff while I’m away, put the hurt on ‘em!”
Grabbing their jacket and trusty Colt Python, feeling confident enough to only take one instead of two, they made their way to the door, turning back before actually leaving.
“Anything you want, while I’m out?” After a long silence, Redd nodded. “Alright, be back soon!”
Alice remained quiet as a guy led her through the halls. She couldn’t really tell where she was due to the classic kidnapper bag over her head. It smelled like sweat. Maybe from someone else. The thought turned her stomach a bit. Finally, the man dropped her into a chair and took the bag off. Wincing from the brightness of the room, Alice managed to look around, after her eyes adjusted to the blinding brightness.
“...geez, dude… don’t kidnappers have, like… dark rooms or somethi-” Alice began, quickly shutting up to the sensation of cold metal on her temple. “ Ok .”
The room, as Alice suspected, was an interrogation room. She assumed these people weren’t cops and a smug smile slipped across her face in response.
After a while, the door behind her opened. The gun removed from her head and the man stepped back. Another person slowly came up beside her. A navy blue coat was the first thing Alice saw, and that was all she needed to see.
“Well, Redd, how’s the business going?” She asked, in a tone clearly unfit for the situation at hand. Redd simply groaned in response.
“It’s going fine .” Redd sighed, “But ’m afraid I ain’t here to catch up.”
“No, no, you’re here to-”
“ Let me do the talking, please. ” Redd interrupted, sternly. “...thank you. Now, it has come to my attention that you and your amigos have been… meddlin’ along where y’ don’t belong.”
“Oh, all that shit about you finding other universes? Or the cloning facility? Or the illegal human testing?” Alice prodded, teasingly, “Or maybe that lawsuit we’re working out?”
“...you get on the edge of my nerves, dearie…”
This statement elicited a larger smile out of Alice.
“Anyway…” Redd began, once more, “...you clearly know too much. And you’re the easiest of all your little friends to get a hold of. So, please, listen carefully to my instructions…”
“Sorry, buddy, I’m not too good at following th-”
“ Shut up. ”
“Ok.”
“...you’re gonna go home tonight and tell all your little rat friends that I ain’t the person they wanna mess with. Y’got that?”
“...no.”
Redd sighed once more, removing the shades and bending down to see Alice eye to eye.
“...you are. Or you’re gonna have to witness the alternative to my little proposal.”
“ And that would b- ”
With absolutely no hesitation at all, not even a sliver of any kind of resistance whatsoever, Redd raised the gun in their coat pocket and placed it on Alice’s forehead.
“Was that a yes I heard, sweetheart?”
Alice cringed, likely from the combination of more cold metal and Redd calling her a disgusting pet name she only permitted Vicky to sometimes call her.
“...that was a no, ‘pardner’, and that’s final.”
“...well, heavens to Betsy. Wasn’t expecting that.” They sighed again, before readjusting their grip on the trigger. “...last chance. I want a yes. Give me a yes.”
Alice stared at them for a long time. After a long sigh, she rolled her eyes and…
“...no means no, freak. You can take your little proposition and-”
Before she could finish, Redd pulled the trigger, the corresponding BANG echoing through the facility. They frowned a little at a small chunk of Alice landing on their coat. Having painted the walls with the contents of Alice’s head, Redd put the gun away and put the shades back on.
“...clean it up. Frame it, make it look nice. Tell the news she did it herself.”
The henchman nodded and went out of the room, presumably to get cleaning supplies. Redd sighed, now alone with Alice’s body, missing most of her head.
“...you made me do this, sweetheart. Shoulda stayed as the government’s lapdog…”
Redd would have left the room if it weren’t for a faint humming sound. Looking around, they assumed it was simply the air conditioning and went to leave. As they reached for the doorknob, they recoiled their hand, observing the weird cover of spiky purple crystals.
“...what in tarnation-”
“ Did you really think I was THAT easy to get rid of, pardner? ” Alice’s disembodied voice teased. Every drop of blood and piece of her head began gravitating back towards her body, prompted by those same stupid crystals. Redd watched in utter shock as Alice simply put herself back together from death. She rose from her seat, having undone the ties on her hands.
“Well! You tried! And I have to give you some credit, at least!”
Redd pointed the gun again, but they found their gun to be jammed by Alice’s crystals.
“...y-you…” They stammered, resorting to swinging their cane at her. Alice blocked the swing with her forearm and shoved them into the wall, sticking them to it with crystals around the arms so they couldn’t escape.
“I would blow your head open like you did to me, but… naaaahhhh, you’ll be fiiine! See you later, sweetheart !” Alice blew a kiss and turned to the door, swinging it open and flicking the light off, before shutting it behind her, leaving Redd in total darkness.
“... that… wh-... ” Redd groaned, clearly at a loss for words. “...that bitch… ”