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Silco’s body was cold in her grasp, not dissimilar to Jinx’s bonds, all in varying states of decay. She was used to the feeling of having few close to her in the past seven years, everyone else in a chilling, detached state of existence from her, but there was always one constant. Jinx never went out of her way to call him as such, admittedly out of fear that the omen that was her name would return with a vengeance, but there was really only one thing to call the man that took care of her when no one else would. Silco was her father. He was the one blazing hot tie in her chest that never burnt out, no matter how many times they fought or disagreed, even to aggressive degrees. His arms would always be open and waiting for her to fall back into them. His arms were still open, even now.
But they would never close around her again.
Jinx lingers in the water and waits, watching the deep blue reclaim Silco’s body and the dirty river reclaim her tears. She claws at her chest, searching for something she knows she won’t find, and heaves her last broken sob into the murky depths at the shitty revelation. Cold. All she feels is cold. There is no more painfully strong bond, there is no more messed up version of what she called her pack.
At this point, she misses those awful voices. Because now she just feels alone.
Jinx wraps her arms around her middle, lets the water soak into her bones, and waits. Then waits. Waits...
She pulls herself back to the surface.
She thought that sliding into her nest (her nest, not their nest, because now it only belongs to her) she could get back even a sliver of the warmth she can only remember now. She crawls into the rugged and old sheets, purples, reds and pinks making up most of the materials, and feels the linens between her fingers, thinking back to the previous years when she first placed them there.
Silco, a beta, had never expressed any concern over the nest itself, let alone the shredded cotton and wool and ripped cushions that made it so clearly different from any other omega's nest. Sure, you wouldn't often see so many as they were the most personal side of an omega, but it was universally known how nests were a place of comfort, of soft bedding and softer shapes.
Jinx, in the midst of her presentation heat, felt a proud purr rumble in her chest when she'd finally finished her very own nest, rolling over into the centre with a wide smile, glancing up and waiting for the approval of her not-dad when she saw-
The beta's brow was furrowed and he was rubbing his chin in a worried manner, the way Jinx knew he did when he was really riled by something. Her heart broke.
She burst into tears faster than a broken dam, and wasn't that a perfect comparison? Broken. There was something wrong with her, that's why Silco didn't like her nest. She was broken! And now he was going to hate her!
Jinx didn't see the beta's flustered expression as he fought his instincts to run to his daughter's aid, but held himself back, not wanting to invade the freshly made nest and make the omega's poor state worse. His daughter was crying, whimpering- screaming- nonsensical things that he couldn't understand. All he could hear was the agony and the pain, waking up a part of him he'd beaten down for years with the most discipline and desperation, to ease the already painful path that was building Zaun, without letting his secondary gender get in the way.
Silco let out a soft keen, rusty and deeper than an omega's should be, but... Wait. Omega?
Jinx quickly lifted her head from her hands and stared, tears pausing on her round, red cheeks. She let out a whine, calling for the omega, and lifted her arms, making grabby hands towards Silco and trying to move closer at the same time. She started to fall forwards and of course it wouldn't hurt, she was surrounded by blankets, but she was whining and crying and needed her dad-
Silco was there in a second, crooning and wrapping the young omega in his arms, littering Jinx's soft tufts of blue hair with kisses and reassurances that she only half listened to because omega, omega is here! She could feel the older omega nuzzling his cheeks into the crown of her head, easing her whines into softer, content noises. Silco's chest was vibrating with deep, gravely purrs and Jinx burrowed her head closer to the comforting sensation. Before, Jinx could only feel the stabbing cramps in her gut and her burning limbs aching for something to wrap around. Now, the warmth was the good kind and all she felt was safety, Silco's scent covering her in a blanket of protect-love- daughter-okay-mine. The young omega's head was fuzzy and comforted, she didn't think twice about a thing before falling asleep in the protective arms of her dad.
Jinx can't even smell Silco in the nest anymore.
All she can smell is her own despair.
As she cries into the cold sheets, she wonders how he ever managed to do it - hold himself back from seeking comfort and warmth. Jinx thinks back to when she'd regained her senses, her first heat passing, and Silco stroked her hair, sharing his lonely story that he'd written for himself. Vander had always known about his real designation, when asked to keep it a secret, Vander did so without question, reassuring his brother and comforting him in the shadows of their young city. Then, one quiet night, when it was just Silco and Felicia, he'd taken off his scent patches and allowed the other omega to rub her cheek along his wrist with a cheeky smile. She'd stolen the rest of the patches and refused to return them for the rest of the night, letting the two of them bask in their bond, unmasked for the first time.
Jinx remembers Silco smiling as he recalled the story, he never did that often. Though his voice grew fainter, his gaze becoming distant as he explained that, even though they'd parted ways so violently, Vander never revealed his omega nature to anyone, not even his adoptive kids. Seeing the lost look on his face, Jinx hugged him tighter, letting out a long purr that she hoped would comfort him. Silco chuckled, scratched his daughter's scalp, and buried the two of them further into the safety of their nest.
The older omega never had heats, instead, he had a scientist (she never learnt his name) who would visit him every so often to make sure he stayed completely beta in appearance and never had to worry that his biology would make a surprise appearance. However, that didn't mean that he wasn't always there to hold Jinx through hers', rubbing her back and purring till she slept. Trying to get cuddles from the man any other time would be like trying to squeeze water from an emotionally constipated stone. Though, just a waft of his rarely unconcealed scent was enough to soothe the pesky pain in her gut on those long days when it would make its unruly appearance.
Jinx knows she is mad- completely fucked in the head, really- but she knows that her mind isn't messing with her when she feels the a similar stabby, prickly feeling in her gut now. She whimpers and curls into her body, holding herself tight because. Because there's nobody else to hold her anymore. Jinx can't stop herself from keening, high-pitched and distressed, begging calling for her pack. The cavern she calls her home keeps its silence, interrupted only by the distant dripping of rainwater and the stuttering sounds of her ragged breaths.
No one is coming (she already knows that, but no one is coming). Not Vi, who promised to always keep her safe, then left her in the dirt. It's her fault, though. Not Ekko, once her close friend which she might have killed- she doesn't know, really. It's her fault too that he isn't answering her call. Not Vander, who always knew just what to say to fix everything! Also dead because of her. And not Silco, who always came when she needed him. Dead, dead, and dead!
For a nest full of atrociously coloured pillows and blankets, it's never been so dark and empty.
Jinx can feel the pain getting worse, heavier, the longer she stays in the freezing mess of softness. She doesn't- she can't stand it on her own. She can't stand it without him.
She flees from the cavern before she can think twice about the pain.
She really should have thought twice about that pain.
Jinx walks through the shit-stinking streets (that seems to be filled with more thugs than usual) without any of the swagger she usually carries behind her. She's never been shy about her appearance, but she was just mentally alert enough to grab a cloak before leaving to cover her head with. She's just fortunate enough that the cloak is thick and keeps most of her scent underneath it, but she's also unfortunate enough that she can't stop her own body from releasing heaps of her berries and ocean-mist scent. She doesn't know why she didn't see it coming- a heat.
Her last bond had been ripped from her and she was pack-less, it was a natural response to make the body as pleasing as possible to attract new pack mates. She'd only ever heard of it, though. And in the underground? It would make her a fiery beacon for thirsty alphas and greedy criminals.
She clenches Pow-Pow tighter under her cloak and tries to stay alert even when her mind starts to cloud. She knows where she is, but she can't be sure if she's taking the fastest path back home. A bright green, graffiti hourglass on the alley wall catches her attention, a few of them. They're all over the underground, but they're surrounding a cluster of her wanted posters. It feels ironic when it makes her remember her old friend.
Why did they put so many posters in one place? The freaky portrait is enough to catch anyone's attention, they don't need so many! Jinx thinks to herself, distracted enough that she doesn't see or hear the falling object until it crashes right into her from above, throwing her to the filthy ground.
She whines low and quietly as she sits up, her head spinning for a short moment. There's a growl on the edge of her throat, ready to snap at whoever threw a fucking lump of whatever at her while she's in heat- when the lump makes a small noise.
Jinx stares at the lump the pup between her legs and sees the moment when her heat-scent reaches the kid's small, little, cute, adorable puppy nose (then mentally shakes her head because she didn't mean to think all of that). The pup blinks and leans forward, clearly, without a thought, as if she were trying to catch the scent before it could escape. The omega leans forward an inch too, registering the smell of abandonment on the kid, making her inner omega howl because that smell shouldn't be on her the pup.
The sound of screeching and groaning metal pulls Jinx out of the heat-riddled trance she'd fallen into and her brow twitches at the intrusion of these three nobodies that are suddenly surrounding her. She raises her head and feels delight at the way the goons' faces fall when they realise who she is and who they've officially fucked with. Normally, Jinx might make a sly comment or do a little dance around her enemies before pumping them full of death, but then she hears the frightened whimpers coming from the kid before her.
Her omega snarls viciously, her glands releasing a sharp protect-pup-mine-fuck-off before Pow-Pow quickly finishes off the ugly ass-wipes with a bullet in each head. The kid doesn't seem to register a single sound at first, but then she sees one of the bodies slump to the ground out of the corner of her eye and starts shaking from where she's crouched between Jinx's knees (which upsets the omega because it's not close enough!). Jinx doesn't think about how deep in her heat she must be to start making a noise she'd only ever heard and never made herself before she starts crooning and offering her wrist out, letting the pup have a sniff.
Now that those stupid interruptions have been dealt with, she can actually register the lack of scents on the kid. It makes her inner omega want to cry, to cuddle the tiny thing until they've fused into one being, but she knows to let the pup come to her first. Then she realises that the puppy hasn't said a word yet- and neither has she.
Jinx coos, "Pup, are ya hurt?" The kid only hesitates for a moment before letting the heat pheromones settle and pushing her little, soft cheek into the omega's hand.
Jinx's omega preens and she doesn't try to stop herself from purring once it's started a rumble in her chest. It seems to help too, as the kid feels the vibrations and her little pupils blow wide, her soft milky scent fills with must-accept-please-safe?-omega and the tones of loneliness and sadness quickly fade away.
The kid suddenly jumps, wrapping her tiny little limbs around Jinx and pressing her cold nose into the omega's neck, where the comforting scent is strongest. While the glands are usually oversensitive, Jinx doesn't find herself being bothered at all. In fact, the purring from her chest only becomes louder. The cramping pains that she previously thought were simply from grief were just that, cramps, and the closeness of this precious puppy was soothing both problems faster than a council tower could explode.
"Gotta name, kid?" Jinx's voice is already slurring, her pheromones trying to lull the pup to sleep now that they're "safe" and ultimately affecting her too, but she hasn't fallen that far into her heat yet (she hopes). The kid doesn't reply, only making a small, sleepy noise and nuzzling further into the comfort of the omega's neck.
Cradling the kid in her lap, Jinx's eyes quickly take notice of the body of a goon closest to her, a stream of blood that was flowing from his head almost touching her cloak before she pulls it back. She hisses and jumps to her feet before the blood can invade their space any longer, keeping the kid securely against her front. This shitty alley is anything but safe. There's blood and bodies and weapons and- and no nest. There's no alpha to protect her pup either, but her omega is unperturbed in the absence of one.
The kid stirs at the sudden movement and pulls away from Jinx's scent glands to give a confused and drowsy look. She still doesn't speak, but she does tilt her head.
"You're alone, pup," Jinx says first, then her heart breaks a bit at the forlorn look that passes over the kid's face as she reads the omega's lips (though Jinx misses the action). Her grip on the pup's body tightens a fraction. "I'm alone too, but," She pauses and gives a smile she hopes is reassuring, "We don't have to be."
Jinx doesn't need to scent the air to see the happy-safe-omega-omega bursting from the kid, it shows in the sweet and sheepish smile that blooms on the pup's face before she bundles her face back into the crook of Jinx's neck. The omega uses her thumb to rub circles on the kid's back, about to turn around and steal the little thing away, when a glance at her wanted posters helps her remember.
"The name's Jinx," She purrs, leaving the morbid bodies in her dust as she steps out of the alley with her newly acquired puppy. Said puppy only makes a small noise of confirmation to show that she's even heard what the omega's said at all as she sets off back home with fresh resolve. Jinx chuckles, "Yeah, don't wear it out."
She passively wonders, as she makes her way back to the cavern that she had previously run away from, "Is this how Silco felt?"
Some days later, Jinx wakes up and her brain unhelpfully registers the dryness of her throat before registering the pup tucked in her arms, sleeping. She bodily flinches and shoves herself away from the little thing, jumping to the edge of her nest with an "Oh, whatthefuck". The kid startles, but doesn't seem frightened, only lifting her head slowly and sleepily rubbing at her eyes. The innocent display makes Jinx's omega want to coo, but Jinx's mind hasn't caught up with the implication of her memories being scrambled after going into heat.
Jinx gives the cavern a quick look over, making sure she hasn't stolen anyone else's pups, before shooting her still-wild gaze back to the pup she has stolen. She's still blinking slowly, helping Jinx to remember that her pheromones must still be affecting the tiny kid. Then, she recalls how the pup hadn't said a single thing, not before the heat, or now.
"Uh, hey, squirt. Sorry for," Jinx internally winces, "kidnapping you." The kid continues to blink, before crawling towards the omega and wrapping her tinsy, tiny, little arms around Jinx's waist, trying to settle her head in the older girls' lap before Jinx jumps away from her again, landing on her feet outside of the nest.
The pup looks at the space where Jinx was just sitting, then slowly looks up at Jinx herself and Jinx seems to know that the kid is about to whimper before she actually makes the noise. The omega mentally shakes her head, reminding herself that the pup is still affected by Jinx's fading heat pheromones and doesn't actually want cuddles because the pup isn't hers.
Jinx lifts her hands and moves them slowly like she's trying to placate a startled animal. "Hey, heyyy. Shh, don't make that noise. We can go find your pack now, I promise!" Somehow, that seems to upset the kid more, her distressed noises becoming louder and disturbing Jinx's omega even more. "Mom or Dad are 'round here somewhere, just gotta find them, yeah?" The kid narrows her eyes, then starts crying out.
Tears start to swell in the little pup's eyes the longer that her cries go unanswered and Jinx's omega screams at her to soothe and comfort, to stop standing there uselessly and making it worse! Jinx barely notes in the back of her head that, while the sight of a crying pup is enough to concern anyone, she shouldn't be this inclined to want to coddle and protect the kid.
Jinx's eyes widen and she hesitantly places a hand on her chest as she searches through her beaten and tattered bonds. Her sister's bond is still a shrivelled and pathetic thing, sour and strained, but there's something else, something so much stronger. The omega gasps as she finds a new bond, one connected to- connected to the crying pup in front of her! It pulls at her and Jinx stops fighting it as she kneels in front of the pup, still outside of the nest, and takes her face in her hands.
Her croon echoes in the cavern and the kid whines as she nuzzles her little, red cheeks into the offered hands, just like before. Jinx is still trying to catch up with her own thoughts when she softly asks, "Ya on your own, kid?" The pup sniffles, a fat tear falling down her face before she shakes her head, pointing a finger at herself and then pointing a finger at Jinx. Understanding crosses Jinx's face. "She has me?" Jinx thinks.
On to the next problem that's been bugging Jinx since she met the little kiddiewinkle. "Can ya talk?" The omega quickly says again, after seeing the pup's face fall slightly, "It's okay if ya can't! Or, if ya don't wanna, that's all cool!" The kid squints her eyes, eventually shaking her head while Jinx climbs up onto the edge of the nest. Technically, the nest is hers so she shouldn't need to take it slow in her own space, but Jinx can smell the fresh scent of milky pup all over the blankets and it doesn't take a genius to know that the kid is starting to see the nest as her own too. She doesn't want to disturb the pup even more than she already has, but the pup's face only lights up when she sees the omega back in the nest with her.
Bundling straight back into her arms, the pup nuzzles her cheek into Jinx's chest and lets out a content sigh, her little body immediately losing its tension when the omega holds her in return instead of jumping away like before. Jinx can't help but think that their bodies fit perfectly together like this. She tries again, "Think you could tell me your name somehow?"
The kid doesn't answer, doesn't even seem to hear Jinx, the rumble of her voice getting lost in the purring that the older girl didn't even know she was making. It's then that Jinx connects the dots, realising that the slight squint in the pup's eyes weren't from poor sight, but from her concentrating in reading lips. She'd thought the little thing might be mute, but now it's become clear that her hearing is impaired.
Jinx taps the pup's shoulder twice and she obediently pulls back enough to look up at the omega, her shiny eyes full of adoration and her scent full of yes?-please-omega. Jinx then says, "Name," Making sure she emphasises each syllable before tilting her head towards the pup. The pup points at herself and shakes her head before shooting straight back into Jinx's grasp.
"No name?" Jinx mutters to herself, already scratching the kid's head before she needs to think about it. It's so natural too. The omega soon finds a ball of cotton in the pup's hair, carefully untangling it and throwing it behind her when the messy nest comes back to Jinx's mind.
Looking at it now, it hasn't seemed to change at all. The cushions are still torn with the fluff hanging out, the blankets have some holes that Jinx has filled with small, string designs of monkeys, and the only indication that it's a nest at all and not a wool dump is the two human-shaped dents in the centre, one obviously smaller than the other. The sizes of the crooks where the two omegas used to sleep hasn't changed at all over the years, not even now, which is when Jinx realises that the larger dent (once Silco's designated side) smells more like her and less like despair, whereas the smaller dent (Jinx's designated side when she was much smaller) smells like the bundle of sweetness falling asleep in her arms.
The two shapes are right in the centre and, while the omega isn't sure what day it is, it becomes clear that the two must've been close the entire time, cuddling away without a care in the world. Staring at the nest now, Jinx no longer feels like it's empty or lacking her other companion. It's grown, Jinx has grown, just enough to accommodate the very young pup and the older omega. Jinx holds her kid tighter and bundles the two of them back into the crooks in the blankets that they'd made to fit their shapes. She scents the air, quickly finding the happy-safe-protected coming from her pup. It smells just right!
So, maybe Jinx hasn't thought too hard about the responsibilities that come with accepting a pup that you met in an alleyway into your one-woman pack. Okay? What kind of an omega would she be if she threw the lonely, little thing back out onto the streets by herself? One good act won't stop her from being the villain she knows she is, but as far as her new pack mate is concerned, Jinx thinks she might just put the unflinching murder behind her for a little while.
The sleepy noises the pup makes warms Jinx's heart a little more and she distantly wonders, as she places her kid's head under her chin, if she'll have to be a very good role model. She's never been too good at keeping things kid-friendly, but as long as the little one isn't convinced that big explosions or mighty heroism is the answer, then she might sleep better tonight.
Yes, no death-defying stunts for this little rascal.
"How about the name..." Jinx murmurs, pulling her head back to look the pup in the eyes. "Felicia?" The pup squints her eyes hard, trying to understand what Jinx is saying and the omega lets out a soft laugh, "Yeah, too long. Sounds old, too."
"Isha?" The pup, still concentrating hard, slowly pronounces. Jinx feels a small tear prick in her eye when she chuckles a bit louder.
"Isha! That's a great name!" Jinx nods and the kid beams so brightly that she thinks the sun suddenly fell right on her face.
Jinx hugs her girl tightly. "Isha."
Jinx had everything. She'd loved before, lost before, loved, then lost again. It never hurt this much, though.
She heaves her broken screams into the nest that still. That still smells like her baby.
Her baby that she's never going to see again.
"Because you're a Jinx!"
"Don't cry. You're perfect."
"Mama!"
A shining blue glimmer from that gun of hers, then, nothing.
Jinx reaches out to that tiny, little crook where Isha had once laid.
She really was just like the sun.
So small, so bright, and so, so far from her reach.
"Isha. My Isha."