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“Ya know, this is the fourth time I’ve had to drag you to the church in a month.” Fifth time actually, but Jinx didn’t count the third time considering Vi had hobbled off before they had actually gotten to the church.
Her patient seemed to agree, seeing as the brawler didn’t come out and correct her.
The arm in her grasp jerked away in an attempt to escape, but Jinx was used to dealing with unruly patients. It was easy to adjust her grip to keep a better hold of the injured limb and continue wrapping it in clean bandages.
“Stop tensing. You’re going to end up with loose bandages and then where will all of my hard work have gone, huh,” Jinx scolded, pinching the singular uninjured part of the exposed shoulder.
The big baby kept moving and making noise. For all that it didn’t matter much to the other residents of the side room they were settled in, Jinx still wanted to respect the peace and quiet that most patients preferred this early in the day.
“It’s not like I asked for your help.” The arm tensed again before visibly, forcefully, relaxing. If there was one thing Jinx appreciated her unwilling patient for it was that, despite complaining, Vi actually listened to instructions.
“Don’t be ungrateful, shithead.” snip
“I just don’t get why you’re going through all the trouble. You could do your hand-wavey healing magic and I’d be out of your hair in half the time.”
Jinx frowned, tempted to give the cocky bastard another pinch for the audacity but eventually settled for rolling her eyes. The humor was lost, of course, with the thick iron birdcage veil covering everything nose up behind the hood of her cloak, but it was the thought that counted!
“Only people who don’t go around picking fights and making a mess of their pretty faces get a fancy healing session with me.” She slapped the adhesive just a bit harder on the bandage than necessary, feeling a glow of satisfaction at the responding flinch. “ You , get to heal the old-fashioned way. Slowly,” Jinx cackled.
“And here I thought you religious folk were supposed to be kind and worldly,”
“Excuse you, I am the kindest person you will ever meet. I could’ve left your scruffy ass where I found it instead of hauling you all the way to my side of town.”
Jinx was careful with the remaining materials, quickly packing away the salvaged remains and sterilizing the needles she had used with a lighter. With a cursory look at the small trunk, Jinx realized that she would have to restock soon.
“Seriously, you don’t have to keep wasting your supplies on me. I’ll get by.”
Now, that sounded far too depressing for this early in the day. And that was disregarding the blatant day drinking that the older woman took part in. Jinx looked back up to make a joke but stopped short at the look on the other’s face.
Ah, it was one of those days.
“Vi - “ she began, stopping for a second to try and find the right words.
She wasn’t - good at talking; had never picked up the talent despite how often she’d needed it - too cutting, too sarcastic, and entirely lacking in patience. She’d gotten better over the years, but it didn’t change that in times like these Jinx just wasn’t the best person to turn to, especially when dealing with jobs that went beyond the body.
That slumped back, body practically drowning in fading scars and bandages, was depressing in its resignation. Vi’s heavy eyeliner smudged down her face, covering her skin in a layer of charcoal that clung to her cheeks and fingertips. Worse was the look in her eyes, blank and distant, as if not entirely there. Jinx wondered if the desperate need to throw herself in harm's way was Vi’s attempt to stay present in a world that had long since left her behind.
The thought settled heavily in her stomach.
Jinx wasn’t ignorant to the going ons of Zaun, despite having been gone for a while. It was a different world from when she last left. Where there had been an uneasy peace, held together by Silco’s ruthless ambition and everyone else's cowardice, now there was only chaos: dumb sump-rats clawing for power in the wake of the power vacuum Silco left behind after kicking it. His seat was hot for the taking, and the ambitious (or plain stupid) were feuding for a taste.
Jinx couldn’t imagine what ten years of change looked like when all they had for comparison was washed-out childhood memories. Hells, it wasn’t like Jinx had received a warm welcome after two years away, having to regain the lost trust in the communities she was established in. Independently, Vi would likely have to work three times as hard to settle without connections.
Hence, the frustration Jinx felt when all her efforts to lend a hand fell flat.
The winds had been in a flurry when Vi had been allowed into the open air for the first time since her initial incarceration. The spirits had sung when she’d finally stepped foot on Zaun’s soil. It had given Jinx a near migraine to hear the unending chatter of Zaun’s daughter , welcome welcome, and safe whittle away at her eardrum.
Vander’s kid. The eldest of four, if rumors were to be believed. Lucky enough to only show up after Silco was dead and drowned, but not seeming appreciative of the fact. No, someone like Vi who valued action (who lost everything because of him, who wasted more than a decade of her life because of a single man’s ambitions) over all else would not have appreciated Silco being taken out before she could do it herself.
All that anger built up; a sea of pain, suffering, and grief with nowhere to turn it to. Well, not quite nowhere. Vander’s daughter had picked up the gauntlets again, though not for anything righteous. Turning to picking fights with street thugs and cleaning up Zaun’s fighting pits to stay active and, more importantly, distracted.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Jinx ended up spitting out, not unkindly, closing the trunk with a firm click of the lock. “I’m not in the habit of letting people die in front of me, ya know, on account of my occupation,” she threw out while running her manicured silver nails across the weathered edges of the wood. Did it matter that Vi would have been fine without her help? Pssh, small details.
“I’m fine,” Vi stated, exasperation obvious in the grit of her teeth. “Go away, you’ve got other people waiting on you.”
It was a bit cute, the way Vi kept trying to convince Jinx to leave her alone (as if Vi had any room to push people away). It was always ‘I’m fine!’ or ‘Leave me alone!’ followed by a week of silence before Jinx had to hunt her down, usually to find her slumped over in some alleyway. Or drunk on somebody’s roof.
That was an interesting day. Sometimes Jinx didn’t catch her early enough, leading to scenarios like the roof situation.
“Nope! You’re the only one! Everyone else here is a chronic” Jinx glanced back at a few of the cots, a cursory check to confirm that conditions had not changed. Mostly isolated from the rest of the church, the generally cheerful noises that filled the main areas were absent from the medical wing.
Jinx was used to the rattling breathing and stifled groans (was familiar with much worse, flashes of fogged-over eyes and pained sobbing lingering on the bad days), but it clearly disturbed Vi. Her eyes lingered on a few that had obvious symptoms of shimmer overuse, with bulging veins and pulsing deformities. Disturbing, but otherwise expected.
The somewhat playful smile dimmed into something more subdued at the attention. “Help where you can, when you can, but you can’t help everyone. Rule Number One in this job.”
It seemed like, just for a few seconds, some semblance of emotion pierced through that fugue Vi dulled herself in, wrapped up tightly like a straightjacket. A furious light came to life in her eyes, hands audibly creaking into fists, before the fight abruptly left her, leaving Vi to crumble back into her shell.
“It didn’t used to be like this. So many people - ” Vi seemed like she wanted to say something else, but the words visibly caught in her throat.
There was a conflict there, something that held Vi apart despite the many efforts Jinx made to bring the pink-haired menace into the fold. It seemed almost worse today than usual.
Jinx shrugged. “We try to help, but it’s not enough. Never is. Not even with my ‘hand-wavey healing magic’.” Jinx glanced back over at Vi before sighing and making her way over to sit on the cot next to her, close but not close enough to touch. The older woman tensed at the intrusion but made no motion to pull away which was - not great, but also better than the alternative. “But you - we could always use more people to help. Going on supply hauls, fixing things - “ Vi started to laugh, “Anything really.”.
“You don’t want me around.” Not a suggestion, but a statement. Vi somehow always made it sound like any compliment towards her was an insult and, gods, the self-deprecation could be mind-numbing.
“Don’t be stupid. You’re fast, strong, and - I can only assume when you’re not moping around - have a good head on your shoulders. It would be helpful If only you actually used it once in a while.”
“I don’t follow Janna,” Vi insisted, hands clutching at her knees, doggedly refusing to look Jinx in the face.
No surprise there. Jinx could work with that, it wasn’t like she expected another spirit-blessed to follow her gods. “That’s fine, no one is expecting you to become a devotee - “
“I don’t think you get it. I don’t believe in any gods and I don’t appreciate you trying to convert me.”
Ah. That - wasn’t expected. Should Jinx have expected that?
The aftermath left an uneasy silence that had Jinx twitching somewhat in discomfort, fighting hard not to move away. Jinx had to fight to relax her spine, shoulders down but pushed back into a trained ‘proper’ posture.
“I - “ Jinx struggled to together the words, nothing that made particular sense, so she just blurted out “- I’m not trying to convert you.” I didn’t think I would need to.
Disbelief in the gods was not unique, or unthinkable. She’d met people who had come from honestly vile situations that had either jumped into faith with both feet or gone the complete opposite direction, which was their right. Sometimes faith was tested and found wanting.
Personally, Jinx was incapable of not believing when she saw the result of the gods and spirits' work all around her, from their words on the wind to the arcane paths in the stone and metal. For people who didn’t have the ability, she could understand the skepticism. It did strike her that another blessed not believing was a bit stupid but the blessings surrounding Vi were still strong, so it didn’t seem like her patrons minded much.
“The gods have never done anything for me and if they have, I’ve always gotten the short end of the stick. Better to believe nothing is there than something cruel enough to watch the world go to shit,” Vi spit out, moving to get up.
Against her better judgment, Jinx reached up and grabbed Vi by the back of her jacket, fingers clasped tightly over one of the snarling wolf heads. If Vi could have stabbed her with a glare alone, Jinx would have bled out from a dozen cuts, The priestess frowned back, a disappointed curl to her lip.
“The gods aren’t there to fix up your messes,” Jinx chided. “That's what people are for. That’s what we are for.”
Vi scowled and roughly pulled away from the priestess’ grip, looking first at where Jinx’s eyes barely peeked through the veil before turning her back to throw her daggers at the small guardian statue hanging on the north wall above the small courtesy altar. She didn’t make any move to leave, which Jinx took as an opening to push forward.
“Fine, you don’t believe in the gods, whatever! I don’t care! You’re entitled to your stupid opinion,” Jinx huffed, springing up from her seat and coming to stand by the taller woman’s shoulder, attempting to make up for the ground she had lost in the argument, literally and figuratively. “But you’ve been moping around the place for nearly two months and I am tired of seeing you waste away when you could be helping !”
It wasn’t fair! Jinx has spent years serving Zaun, and did she get a break? No! She wasn’t allowed a break, she had to keep working or else people would die . And Vi had the time to drink her days away? No, not if Jinx had anything to do with it.
“Jinx,” Vi started, audibly pained, nearly begging, “My family is dead. I spent years hoping that my little sister was alive, hoping stupidly that she somehow got away, only to find out that Silco killed her right after I was taken.” She took in a stuttering breath, visibly holding in tears. “I’ve spent the last ten years sitting in a prison cell thinking that I would die alone. I’m fucking tired .”
Jinx wanted to feel sorry for her, she really did, but the feeling simply did not come easy for her. Jinx had tossed away feelings of guilt and shame a long time ago to become who she was, to become her best self for Zaun. She wasn’t completely heartless though. It didn’t bring her any joy to see Vi break in front of someone she clearly didn’t trust.
“It’s not that I don’t sympathize with your story. It’s horrible! Really! Up there with some of the most tragic of them, but you are not the only one suffering. The world didn’t end with your family, and I’m so fucking sorry to say that. I know it's horrible, but it's what is real .”
Jinx took a few steps forward but thought better of it when she saw the slight shaking of those shoulders. She was pushing some buttons that could trigger an actual brawl, but Jinx had yet to find anything else that could get through that thick skull. The gentle approach didn’t work, time to pivot.
“People are dying. After Silco died,” Jinx choked up a bit, her voice cutting out for a second as she got her bearings. She tried again. “After Silco died, everything changed. Without him, all the progress Zaun’s made toward independence and cooperation with Piltover is falling by the wayside. Noxus is starting to creep in despite all the failsafes I’ve put in to stop them. ”
It was falling apart, everything was falling apart.
“I could really use some help, Vi.”
Jinx wasn’t opposed to begging. She could beg and blubber like the best of them, but it had always been a last resort. She needed Vi. Everything in her was screaming that the older woman had to be by her side or something horrible would happen. If only she could reach out -
“So it is true then.”
Jinx… froze, startled by the lack of emotion in Vi’s voice. It was only then did the priestess realize that she had been walking forward, had been barely a foot away, hand up in the air only just about to touch Vi’s shoulder.
“There was a rumor going around - something about when Silco was alive.” The conflict was transparent in Vi’s eyes, causing something in Jinx to squirm at the hostile approach. Jinx couldn’t find it in her to move; found it hard to breathe, even.
“They said that the Storm Priestess and Silco were friends. That he went after anyone who so much as tried to touch you.”
Jinx's breathing hitched at the accusation, only able to think ‘oh shit’ before her mind began to scramble for an explanation. At that moment, Jinx was startled to realize that not only had she made a mistake somewhere in their conversation, but she had been misreading their interactions severely .
Had Vi thought she was in Silco’s pockets this entire time?
Because, yes, Jinx had known Silco once. The chem baron was the untitled king of Zaun for nearly a decade before his death. The effects of his reign required Jinx to respond in kind with subtlety and a mind for politics; neither of which she had as a kid, of course. The man was one of the few mentors she had willing to teach her to be cunning, never afraid to show her how dirty the world was even in the brightest of places. Above all, Jinx owed him for her business sense.
But, ‘friends’… Jinx would not have called him a friend.
He was a necessary evil for Zaun’s growth, it’s independence, and Jinx was not blind to the cost of his vision. You only needed to look on the streets and see the difference. She used to remember the older generation mumbling how it was never like this under Vander (most of those fools ended up belly up in the sewers), but Jinx didn’t know what it was like under Vander. She had never experienced the so-called ‘peace’ of those years. All she knew about that time was that if Piltover wanted anything, they could have come and get it whenever they wanted.
Silco had the guts to do what most people weren’t smart or brave enough to do. He wasn’t a good person; but, then again, neither was Jinx.
“So it's true then? You work for him?” The disgust was palpable in Vi’s words, suddenly multiple steps away.
“I didn’t work for him. We - partnered together on some projects - “ Jinx flinched at the small interrupting ‘fuck’ and pacing but kept pushing forward. “But we weren’t close or anything like that!”
“I can’t believe this - how can you, someone who sees what he’s done to people, work with him,” Vi snarled.
“Worked! Worked with! Silco is dead!” Jinx was starting to feel warm in the head, jaw tense at the feeling of panic. “And I didn’t offer no support for any of his shimmer projects. He helped fund all of this - the church, the supplies, the people - without asking for anything in return! You think I could afford to have this operation running without him?”
“It’s like you said, he’s dead, so where’s the money coming from.”
“I’ve upped funding efforts in Piltover and earned a few sponsors over in Shurima. Old families who get to brag about ‘helping the less fortunate’,” Jinx explained. She could feel her eyes bulging behind her veil, stress in the grit of her teeth.
“But you’re still getting support from Silco’s dogs. No one does anything for free, I know that much hasn’t changed while I was gone. I’m having a real hard time believing that your people don’t have a deal going.”
“What am I supposed to say to that? I don’t give them anything I don’t offer anyone else. The church is a neutral zone, no fighting allowed! If their men come to get treatment I’ll help them the same way I help anyone else. Whatever happens out there means nothing to me.”
“How can you help the same people who are ruining us? Heal them and then send them back out to kill innocent people, orphan some more children.” Vi loomed over her, hands clasped tightly into fists.“Maybe you can live with the blood on your hands, but I can’t. ”
If Jinx was anyone else she would’ve undoubtedly started sputtering, maybe even attempting to explain herself, but Jinx was not just ‘anyone’. She was breathing hard, panic fading to leave only a righteous rage at the judgment oozing from every word and gesture. The whipped holier-than-thou attitude ultimately pissed Jinx off more than it elicited any sort of sympathy. And Jinx was reaching her limit with this situation.
“I took - a fucking Oath to heal whoever asks for it. I don’t give a shit who they are or who they were outside these walls,” the priestess snarled, taking a frustrated step forward. “If they need help, I am not turning them away. That I heal a few shitheads every now and then is the price for my neutrality.”
The subtle stiffening and shifting to a fighting stance downright infuriated Jinx. But for all that Jinx was mad, she was even more disappointed at how useless this entire endeavor was turning out to be.
“Ugh, ya know when I started hearing all the whispers about you I was expecting more... “ Jinx waved her hands around a bit at the older woman, struggling to find the right word, “just - more, not this!”
Vi’s face spazzed a bit at that, some pain but mostly annoyance and offense. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know - just, more! You’re supposed to be better, you’re supposed to be helping me , but you’re just - ”Jinx had to bite into her hand to muffle the frustrated scream building up in the back of her throat before abruptly turning away, trying desperately to calm down.
“You’re so fucking pathetic! Since you’ve been back all you’ve done with your life is drink and fight some idiot junkies! And then you have the nerve to accuse me of being part of the problem!”
Jinx tried to keep her voice down but found herself unable to as she only became more infuriated with the murmuring agreement whistling in her ear.
“Seriously! Silco kicks the bucket and we can finally start making progress with cleaning up the fissures, but here you are - wasting everyone's damn time with your bullshit morals!”
That seemed to kick Vi into high gear, and before Jinx knew it a bruising hand was turning her around by the shoulder. The younger woman flinched at the snarled expression, but couldn’t back up as the other bandaged hand came up to cage her.
Her skin itched, crawling burning stop touching me don’t touch me -
“You have some fucking nerve, you just keep making excuses! You had the backing, you could have done so much with your power but instead, you chose to play doormat.”
“I did not - “ Then she was shaken harshly, cutting off her knee-jerk complaint. Jinx railed internally at how easy it was to move her between her feather bone blessing and comparatively slight figure. The force was enough to push down her hood, revealing Jinx’s tightly braided hair.
“You did! You fucking did, you could have put your support behind any other group that actually gave a shit about the Undercity, but you ended up choosing Silco because he gave you fucking money .”
Jinx felt cold and clammy, fingers shaking with adrenaline as her perceived wrongs were laid out in front of her. That was a dirty lie . What fucking money? She basically relied on the kindness of others, where was she hiding this precious money?!
It hurt it hurt let me go let gO -
Silco had been the best option, she knew this, there was no one else who had even a cog of political savvy. There was Owl but he had been a child when Zaun had needed strong leadership. You could have thrown in support when he started making waves -
“No! You’re twisting everything! Silco was the only option. He had a vision, the people, and the mindset to do what needed to be done, to make the necessary sacrifices that leveled the playing field with Piltover!”
“Please,” Vi sneered derisively. “Admit it, he was the easy choice. He had all the resources and you didn’t want to deal with building something from the ground up, to do things the right way.”
“What would you know about the right way? You weren’t here! You’ve been gone, you don’t know what it was like,” Jinx railed, voice high and incredulous. She would have called it begging had it not been for the rage dripping from every word. “Let go of me!” No matter how much Jinx pushed or grabbed, Vi’s grip didn’t weaken, didn’t even budge .
“I know that I’m not a fucking coward! How can you stand to keep justifying your part in this? You say that you’re trying to fix it now, but you contributed to Silco’s uprising!”
Stop it stop it hurts it HURTS
“Get ꝊӺӺ ME,” Jinx shrieked.
“Stop running and take some fucking ₳₵₵ØɄ₦₮₳฿łⱠł₮Ɏ ! ”
Jinx had expected many things from this confrontation. A small-scale explosion was not one of them.
Friction split, followed by a near blinding burst of light, and both were repelled from each other, thrown harshly in opposite directions. Shimmering chimes rang out around her, encasing her in an outline of protective soft blue just as Jinx hit the floor. Vi’s fall was less kind, as Jinx could hear the harsh thump of another body hitting wooden planks, followed by a pained groan. Harsh breathing filled the near-silent room.
The priestess’ ears were ringing, shrill, and sharp even as the aching in her sides and shoulders quickly faded with a rush of magic quickly healing the sore muscles. The whispers that usually remained in the background grew louder, clamoring to be heard, overtaking and undertaking each other. Bits of Shuriman, Old Zaunite, and Common fell to pieces around her as she struggled to piece together their intentions.
Anger was the general consensus in the wave of conflicting emotions sparking around her. Somehow, Jinx couldn’t bring herself to feel the same, the fight draining and leaving nothing behind.
The soft musical notes, a tell-tale sign of her reflexive shield, faded away within a few seconds of impact. Only the particles of blue signaling the presence of magic lingered in the aftermath, the film of the outer shield fading to nothing.
“Wha-what? What did you do?!”
Pushing herself up afterward was difficult; not physically, but because Jinx felt stepped on, forced to be small in the one place she was meant to be big and tall. Between having her feathers yanked and being shaken like a ragdoll, the priestess wasn’t feeling charitable.
Vi was having a harder time jumping back than Jinx was; still on her knees panting and shaking her head like a dog. Looming over the older, arguably stronger, woman the priestess was hit with the realization that she was wasting her time.
Vi was never going to understand.
Jinx took in a shuddering breath. “You were supposed to be mine; my family, my sister ,” Jinx whispered, voice cracking as unshed tears burned her eyes. “But I…understand now that it was just me being stupid.” Naive… ignorant .
Jinx thought she had gotten better at stacking her hand. Apparently not.
Jinx had never felt like this before - so full in all the wrong ways, stomach turning inside and out in a nauseous cycle that made it difficult to talk. Not even losing someone had felt like this, the suffocating disappointment that came with failure had almost always lit a fire under her more than anything. This - this tasted like uselessness.
Vi was looking at her with shocked, unbelieving eyes. Breathes came out harsh even as she swallowed hard. “I don’t even know you,” Vi responded, sounding confused and more than a little outraged. “I don’t even know what you look like behind that fucking mask .”
Jinx stalled at the accusation, hand reaching up to touch the chains of her veil. She couldn’t take off the veil or even push it up no matter if she wanted to, knitted into her braids as they were. A loud thumping noise had Jinx looking back up, seeing Vi firmly on her feet and walking - towards, and then past her.
“Take it off, and maybe we’ll talk.”
Two months of wasted time, wasted pursuit, and wasted effort . Jinx couldn’t afford to give anything else, not to someone so determined to bite the hand that feeds.
“You haven’t earned it, Violet,” Jinx shot back, unwilling to explain or face the other woman. She didn’t have to look back to hear the slight pause Vi made at the door, footsteps gentled on their way out.
“The face of a friend isn’t something you earn, priestess.”
And then Vi was gone, leaving Jinx alone with the quiet creaking of mattresses around her.
Jinx was still breathing hard long after Vi’s footsteps had faded, hands clenching and unclenching with the need to hit something. Those unusually soft last words had knocked something loose in her, a grinding gear propped up and jammed into an ill-fitting system by years of self-assurance and necessity.
The whispers reassured her of the ridiculousness of Vi’s demands, but doubt lingered in the back of her mind.
Jinx sniffled.
Powder still felt painfully small.