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Aemond’s ride from the airport pulls into the porte cochere of the Targaryen estate at precisely 3:44pm for his 4:00 meeting with Otto. He slips a considerable tip to the driver, who made some questionable driving maneuvers to get him here on time, and gets out, running his hands over his jacket in a futile attempt to smooth the creases of a day of traveling. Aemond is jet-lagged, hungry, misses his dog, and does not expect to remedy any of these things any time soon. Family dinners are always a tedious, multi-course affair often capped with drinks and cigars in the lounge. On top of it, Otto requested he arrive early to discuss business, leaving Aemond not a minute to spare.
At least Aegon will be here , he thinks as the large door is held open for him and he steps inside the foyer. His brother's antics, when directed anywhere other than him, can take the edge off of even the most fraught family gatherings. More often than not Aemond can barely conceal a smirk, if he tries to at all. He can even be moved to join in, especially when their nephews are involved. He neither knows nor cares whether they will be here tonight.
His father’s office is now very much Otto’s in lieu of Viserys’ declining health. As Aemond makes his way there he peeks into a few rooms in search of Aegon, to no avail. This isn’t too surprising. Aegon is most likely on the terrace with a drink or up in his old bedroom napping to avoid their family. Likewise he assumes his father, mother and Helaena are in their own rooms, and no one else has arrived. The only thing keeping the house from total silence is the bustle of staff in the kitchens and dining room as they prepare for tonight’s meal.
Aemond passes the library, his last stop to check inside for his brother before giving up and heading to the meeting, and instead finds Alicent. She’s sitting at the end of a couch holding a handkerchief to her face, looking down at a photo in her hand, pulled from an album that lies open on the coffee table. Her shoulders shake with little sobs.
“Mother?”
Her head snaps up to where Aemond stands in the doorway. She quickly wipes her eyes and smiles, patting the seat beside her. “Aemond, dear, I didn’t expect you so soon.” His mother stands when he walks over so they can kiss one another’s cheeks and sit together.
“I have a meeting with grandfather in,” he checks his watch, “eleven minutes.” Aemond looks to the photo in her hands, of herself as a young woman - barely a woman at all, really, just out of school - holding Aegon as a baby. “Mother…did something happen?”
Alicent picks at her nail a moment before clenching and unclenching both hands then settling one on her lap and grabbing her glass of wine with the other. She takes a long sip before speaking. “Aegon was drinking, he got into an argument with your grandfather. He came in here to talk to me about it and I may have…” she chews at her lip and looks down. A tear slips down her cheek. “I wasn’t in the mood, you know taking care of your father has been difficult, and I…” She can’t seem to say it, but makes a little motion with her hand, and in an instant Aemond can picture a dozen and more times his mother and grandfather have slapped Aegon over the years, beginning when he was just a child. An uneasy feeling creeps into his gut.
“Where is he?” Aemond asks.
“He left. He isn’t answering my calls or texts, not even Helaena’s. Has - has he reached out to you?”
“No.” Aemond checks the time. 3:56. He stands and Alicent stands with him, clasping his arms.
“If you talk to him, tell him I’m sorry,” she pleads. “Tell him I love him. I do love him, I just…”
Aemond sighs. He holds her shoulders and places a kiss on her forehead. “I know, mother. And I’m sure he knows. But I will tell him.”
On his way out he texts Aegon a simple ‘where are you?’ As an afterthought he also sends a group text to Aegon’s college mates, who he has never particularly liked but given his brother’s unpredictable nature, they can be good to have around. He asks if any of them have seen Aegon and then tucks his phone away and steps into Otto’s office.
-
Between the end of the meeting and the beginning of dinner, everyone present gathers in the parlor room for drinks. Among the guests, Rhaenyra and her two oldest sons are in attendance, always making a point of showing up to ensure their place in Viserys’ will, as if they have to worry.
Aemond stands by the high windows where he can look out into the sprawling yard where the family dogs play. He is restless, slowly pacing and tracing his thumb over the embossed design on his glass more than actually drinking from it. Every few minutes he checks his phone, but if he has any message at all it is either a work email or a response from one of Aegon's friends informing him that no, they have not heard from Aegon. He also checks the apps for both his own and Aegon’s doorbell cameras, but there is no sign of him entering either apartment.
An eruption of laughter momentarily draws Aemond's attention away from his fretting. Its source is Rhaenyra's flock, the boys and their girlfriends huddled together on the other side of the room. Jacaerys catches Aemond staring and quickly averts his gaze, stepping closer to Baela to tighten their little circle.
Aemond scowls and scans the room: his father and Rhaenyra seated together on the sofa, hands clasped, in hushed conversation, Alicent standing not far away with a drink, watching them with thinly veiled bitterness, Helaena tending to a bouquet in a vase on an end table. Otto has not yet left his office to join them. Aegon's absence, disregarded by the others, twinges like a cavity. He finds himself drifting towards Helaena, easily the best of the options.
She greets him with a smile, a kiss on the cheek and a knowing look. The row earlier did not go unnoticed by her, as few things do. Aemond places a hand on her arm.
“Can I get you anything, Hel?”
“No, I'm fine.” She tilts her head, patiently waiting for her brother to ask what he really came over for. Truly, Aemond can hide nothing from her.
“Have you heard from him?” He asks, voice lowered.
Helaena shakes her head. “No. I didn't get to see him before he left, either.”
Aemond sighs and finishes his drink. “Any guesses where he might have gone?”
“You'd know better than me.”
“He didn't - he didn't drive himself, right?” His stomach turns at the possibility of Aegon, upset and probably a little drunk, behind the wheel of a car.
“I'm not sure,” Helaena admits, “But I can find out for you. Try not to worry. He always makes his way back to us.”
Until the day he doesn't , Aemond thinks, but nods and gives her arm a little squeeze of gratitude. “I just hope he isn’t in any trouble.”
“It might do him some good,” Otto chimes in from behind them. Aemond hadn't seen him enter. He strolls over with his drink to stand beside Helaena. “The boy needs thicker skin. He should strive to be more like you.” He motions at Aemond with his glass.
Aemond presses his lips together, resisting the impulse to say something he might regret as anger simmers in his chest. For all of Aemond’s many accomplishments, he has little regard for himself. Most days he barely feels like a person, but instead the perfect son and pawn, a tool honed to the family's needs. Aegon throws a wrench into all that intricate programming, returns Aemond to his factory settings, forces him to fucking feel something. The last thing Aemond wants is for Aegon to be more like him.
“I think I'll get another,” he responds dryly, lifting his glass. Helaena’s eyes are on him as he turns away and walks over to the bar, pouring himself a second drink that he doesn't really want. This night can’t be over soon enough.
Fortunately, dinner begins right on time. Aemond is seated between Helaena and the empty chair that would have been Aegon's, which still has a place setting as if to highlight his absence. He remains quiet, only speaking when addressed. When Rhaenyra comments on which of Viserys’ children bothered to be there he considers several biting retorts, but without Aegon to back him up he wouldn’t get far. It would only upset his mother and Helaena. Instead he glowers at them from across the table and continues surreptitiously checking his phone, though he already knows there's nothing there.
By the time dinner is over and they gather in the lounge, Aemond is itching to get away from the forced smiles, empty conversation, and barely concealed animosity. Helaena's presence keeps him from snapping entirely, but without Aegon there to bring his particular brand of chaos, the whole thing is dull and draining. He feels a headache coming on.
Aemond is trapped in small talk with his father’s cousin Rhaenys when he feels a gentle tug at his sleeve. It's only Helaena, thank goodness, and she beckons him to go with her, a somber look on her face. He is quick to follow, equal parts grateful to get away and concerned about her urgency.
“I have something you need to see,” she says softly, pulling her phone from the pocket of her dress and sitting in one of a pair of armchairs. Aemond knows without asking that it’s to do with Aegon. Dread curdles in his chest as he sits in the other chair and leans over to look.
Helaena has pulled up a video captured by one of the security cameras on the back terrace. In it, Viserys’ visiting nurse is getting him comfortably situated in a chair so he can enjoy some time outside. She pats him on the shoulder, indicates a button he can press on the table beside him should he need anything, and heads inside. As she departs, Aegon walks into the frame, shoulders slumped, likely from his arguments with Otto and Alicent. He and Viserys share a brief exchange, during which Aegon’s glum demeanor only worsens. When he turns to head back in, the look on his face makes Aemond’s stomach drop.
“Is there sound?” he asks. Helaena nods and hands him the phone. He replays the video, turning the volume up just enough that when he holds it to his ear he can make out the nurse speaking to his father, and then…
“Hey, dad, can I ask you something?”
“Hm? Who's there? Come closer, I can't hear you.”
“It's me, Aegon.” A pause. “Your son.”
Viserys makes a hoarse sound that couldn't quite be called a laugh, and turns into a hacking cough.
“Is this a trick? My son was stillborn…oh Aemma, our boy…” he trails off into incoherent mumbling.
From the thick slur of his father's voice Aemond can tell Viserys has taken quite a bit of the medicine he takes to dull the pain of his condition. Whether it causes him to forget the truth, or to reveal what he already believes to be true, doesn't matter. Unlike their mother and grandfather, Viserys never hit Aegon, but his words may as well be a slap across his face.
Aemond pulls the phone away from his ear just in time to see Aegon turn away from Viserys and head inside. He hits pause and stares at the blurry image of Aegon’s devastated expression.
He wordlessly hands the phone back to Helaena. All the awful feelings that have been churning within him all night solidify into a weight in his chest. At the heart of all his anger, disappointment and sorrow is a numb acceptance that this is how it has always been and will always be.
“I need to go,” he says, standing abruptly. Helaena stands, too. “I waited too long. Who knows where he could be by now.” Helaena pats his arm, her face one of soft understanding he will find nowhere else in this room. He kisses her cheek.”Thanks, Hel.”
Aemond shoots a quick text to his driver and storms out, punctuating his displeasure by heavily setting his drink down on the way. All eyes are on him and he doesn't spare them a second glance.
Outside the car is waiting, his coat and luggage still inside. Aemond gets in with a huff. As he sits, his phone buzzes against his side from his jacket pocket.
“Home, sir?”
Aemond checks his phone to find a response from one of Aegon's friends that reads ‘from the snap map’ and has attached a screenshot. It takes Aemond a moment to decipher the image, and he has no fucking clue what a snap map is, but on the simplified map of downtown there is a little avatar vaguely resembling his brother.
“The Landing,” he instructs his driver without further explanation and the car sets off into the night. Aemond texts Aegon, ‘Stay there. I'm on my way.’ .
Aegon might not even be there by the time he arrives, but it's the only lead he has. Aemond sits back and stares out the window as the dark, winding rural roads give way to sprawling suburbs and finally the bright lights of the city. His nerves have not settled, only mutated into restlessness and a cold, hollow, lonely feeling exacerbated by exhaustion and drinking. He suddenly aches to be near his brother again, for the familiar comfort of his wide smile and stupid jokes and bottomless well of affection for Aemond. Before he can deem it too sentimental, he sends an additional text to Aegon, knowing full well he won't reply.
I missed you.
By the time the car pulls up to the building, owned by his family as their base of operations, Aemond is impatiently drumming his fingers on the back of his phone. He has been kicking himself for not leaving immediately after his meeting with Otto, for giving in to the pressure to be a good son and stay to hold his ground on behalf of his mother's side of the family. It all seems so fucking unimportant now. All that wasted time for people he can't stand, all that time Aegon has been alone with whatever drink he has gotten his hands on and whatever bleak thoughts have been churning in his mind.
The security guards at the front desk are surprised to see him, or anyone for that matter, at this late hour on a weekend. Recognizing Aemond immediately, they quickly tuck their phones out of sight and stand to greet him.
“Is my brother here?” He asks sharply.
“Yes, Mr. Targaryen. He said he had work to do.”
“Hm.”
There's an uncertainty on the guard's face, like there is more to it but she isn't sure of the hierarchy between the siblings, who she is permitted to tell what about whom. It's no matter; Aemond intends to find out for himself. He swipes his badge and takes the elevator up to the 44th floor, a limited access floor where his family's personal offices and meeting rooms are located.
It is dark except for security lighting, and eerily quiet. Aemond doesn't have to search long to know Aegon is not and was not here. But he entered the building and hasn’t left, so he must be somewhere. The long day is catching up to Aemond and his headache has not abated. There has to be something he's missing, some obvious place Aegon would go that is slipping his mind. Is there even anywhere in this building he would want to be?
There is one…
As younger men, when they started participating more in the family business, they used to sneak up to the roof to smoke. Aemond hasn't been up there in years, but it's worth a shot. He takes the elevator to the top floor and finds the access door to a staircase. It is unlocked, which is never the case, and further confirms his suspicion this could be where Aegon went. As he scales the narrow steps toward a final door leading outside, he has an uneasy feeling. Going to a roof in Aegon's current mental state has…implications that he'd rather not consider. He calms himself with logic - if Aegon had done such a thing, it would not go unnoticed. There would be commotion on the streets below, flashing lights and police tape and news vans. No, nothing happened, but he worries nonetheless.
Aemond steps out into the fresh air and takes a deep breath. Upon first glance he sees no one, but the large space is divided up by air conditioning units, utility equipment and antennas, providing a variety of shadowed little nooks for his brother to hide in. He lets the door shut heavily behind him and begins to search, the space lit well by the other buildings all around.
He spots Aegon at the far wall on the west end of the building, over where an LED sign depicting a dragon, their company logo, glows green around Aegon's dark silhouette. At the sight Aemond feels like he can breathe again. He approaches slowly, making no effort to soften his steps, giving Aegon a chance to realize he's there.
The closer he gets the better he can see his brother, dressed in only sneakers, sweatpants and a t-shirt despite the crisp autumn weather. He has his arms folded on the balustrade and is hunched forward slightly, looking at the street below. When Aemond gets close enough his head lifts and turns a bit but his windblown hair conceals his face. Then he faces forward again.
Aemond lights a cigarette and comes to stand behind Aegon, chest pressed to his back, and leans forward to look down with him. He puts one hand on the railing beside Aegon’s folded arms and with the other takes a few drags of his cigarette before holding it to his brother’s lips for him to do the same. They take turns until it’s gone and Aemond flicks the butt over the edge. Gradually, their breathing synchronizes and Aegon starts to relax back against him. Aemond kisses the side of his head then presses his face to his hair and inhales deeply. He smiles at the scent of shampoo, the nice one Aemond buys Aegon because it accentuates the waves of his hair. Aegon must have used it just that morning, because it’s particularly soft right now. Aemond hums and closes his eye. For the first time since the plane landed he actually feels like he’s home.
“You’re freezing,” Aemond mutters. He steps back only to remove his coat and puts it on Aegon, who is all too eager to slip his arms through the sleeves and wrap himself in the warm cashmere. It’s long on him, makes him look small. He feels small in Aemond’s arms when he wraps them around Aegon’s shivering shoulders.
Sometimes it feels like a miscalculation of fate that Aegon is the elder brother and Aemond the younger. But then, there have been times when they filled those roles perfectly and Aegon was Aemond’s fiercest protector. They work like that, equally broken in different places so that the pieces of them line up just right. They are a balancing act, a symbiotic pair, giving and taking love like the crests and troughs of crashing waves.
“How was dinner?” Aegon asks, voice wavering.
“As maddening as ever. I wish -” he stops himself from saying he wishes Aegon was there, when in truth he only wishes neither of them had been. “I wish I left to find you sooner. And I wish you’d given me a few clues to work with.” Aemond gives him a squeeze so he knows he isn’t angry.
“I’m surprised you don’t have a tracker on me.”
“Should I?”
“Maybe not. Sometimes my driver and I play a game where I pick one of the 37 Taco Bells in the greater metropolitan area and we go there no matter where we are, so. That might drive you a little crazy.”
Aemond smiles. “Mm. Noted.” After tonight, he’s still going to consider it.
They’re quiet for a while, standing together in the glow of city lights, gold and green and blinking red from an aircraft warning beacon. From up here the sounds of honking, sirens, music and shouting are muted by distance and at times nearly drowned out by a strong wind. Aemond is pressed so tightly to his brother that he can feel him sigh without hearing a thing.
“They think I don’t try,” Aegon says. He fiddles with a button on the sleeve of Aemond’s coat. “I do try. I try so fucking hard. But I feel like I’m just running in place. Some days it takes all my willpower just to show up.”
“They aren't as competent as they like to think. Dad should have never taken over, the company has stagnated under him. And Otto is a leech who latched onto Jaehaerys when he was old and frail and hasn't let go since. And now Dad is talking about putting our sister in charge when she has no experience.” He doesn't have to hide these thoughts from Aegon, and can let bitterness soak into his words. “So fuck what they think.” It’s something he knows is easier said than done, and is a hypocrite for saying it at all. But they both know none of it ever interested Aegon, he never sought to climb the ladder the way Aemond has. Aemond only wishes Aegon could break free of his family’s stranglehold.
“I try not to care,” Aegon says uncertainly. “It’s just, if I'm not part of the family business, with all the - the history and legacy and shit, why even keep me around? The family is the business. I'd be shut out of…everything.”
“Helaena and I won't let that happen,” Aemond insists.
“What would you do with me?” Aegon asks, like he’s a piece of old furniture.
Aemond has already thought about this. “ If you wanted to stay on, I'd put you on the board for one of our philanthropies.” His brother has always had such people pleasing tendencies, a natural capacity for giving others what they want, a trait that was not valued or nurtured in their ruthless upbringing. Aemond would see it flourish, if only to make Aegon happy.
Aegon does not respond and Aemond decides it's time to steer the conversation away from business. “Mum wanted me to tell you she's sorry,” he says quietly. “And that she loves you.” Aegon hangs his head, but Aemond coaxes it back up and shifts so he can truly see his brother for the first time since he got here. Aegon’s expression is distant, his eyes pink and puffy and his mouth downturned. Cupping his cold face, Aemond can no longer feel the heat on his cheek where he was slapped, but can imagine it all the same.
“I know she does,” Aegon mumbles. He doesn't sound like he believes it, though Aemond knows how badly he wants to. Aegon's eyes fill with tears again and he turns away. Aemond can't bring himself to tell Aegon what else he saw, the video Helaena showed him. He has hurt enough tonight. Aemond puts his arms back around him and looks down at the traffic. That uneasy feeling returns.
“Aegon,” he says carefully, “when you came up here, you weren't going to do something…irreversible, were you?” He hates to ask…he needs to know.
Aegon shrugs as if Aemond just asked him something inconsequential, like where he got his shoes. “No. I don't know.” He hesitates. “No. I think about it sometimes, but no.” He gives a humorless laugh. “Would it make a fucking difference?”
“Of course it would,” Aemond hisses. Fear grips him, and when he's afraid he cloaks it in anger, as is the case with most of his feelings. He has to keep himself from lashing out at Aegon, which would only make them both feel worse.
He can’t put into words just how cold and colorless his world would become without Aegon, how his brother has been there forever and he can't begin to imagine life without him or who he might be with nothing but work and this poisonous family. Any words he might say stick in his throat and choke him. Aemond tightens his grip around Aegon, holds him with everything he has while subtly leaning back away from the railing with him.
“Hey…” Aegon turns as much as he can in the unyielding cage of Aemond’s arms to search his expression, having to crane his neck to see his good eye. He wriggles his arms free and holds Aemond’s face firmly in his cold hands, stroking his thumb up and down the bottom half of the scar on his cheek. “Hey, little brother. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just, you know…being dramatic. Like usual.”
Aemond knows he’s significantly downplaying how bad he can get, but the reassurance still loosens the knot in his chest. He exhales with a shudder and presses his forehead to Aegon’s while Aegon continues caressing his cheeks, lips, jaw. When that isn’t enough, Aemond sinks his face into his hair again and Aegon’s arms wrap around his neck.
“Long day?” Aegon knows Aemond only gets this clingy when he’s sad or tired, and tonight he’s both.
“Mmhmm.” Aemond sighs. He’s been up for almost twenty-four hours by now. His eyelids feel heavy, his feet hurt, his headache has dulled but lingers as pressure in his temples. Nothing in the world sounds better right now taking Aegon home with him and going to bed. He takes another deep breath and straightens so he can look at his brother.
“Have you eaten?” Aegon asks.
“I was just at dinner.”
“That isn’t what I asked.”
“...no, not much,” Aemond admits. “Come over. We’ll get takeout. Anywhere you want.”
A mischievous glint in his eye, Aegon hums in contemplation. “ Anywhere? ” At the apprehensive look on Aemond’s face, he laughs. It’s a beautiful thing. “Yeah, sure. I’d have to stop and check on Sunfyre first, though.”
“Bring him with you.” Aemond leans in close. “You won’t be going back right away tomorrow. I have plans for you.” Those plans include finally asking Aegon to move in with him so they can stop this back and forth between their apartments. He doesn’t know why it has taken him so long, what he could possibly be afraid of. They’re brothers, they grew up together, they spend most of their free time together anyway, and Sunfyre is one of the few other dogs Vhagar gets along with. Aegon could even keep his own place if he wanted to. Aemond just wants - no, needs him closer. Tonight convinced him of that.
Aegon kisses him. It’s brief, broken off when a gust of wind makes them both shiver, but it sets Aemond’s world back on its axis. Arms around each other, they leave the rooftop and return to the front of the building where Aemond’s driver waits patiently, smoking and watching a match on his phone.
Inside the car is nice and warm. They sit as close as possible without Aegon being in Aemond’s lap, though it wouldn’t be unheard of. Aegon pulls out his phone, swipes away the dozens of unread notifications, and opens a shortcut to a list of Taco Bell locations. He holds it up to show Aemond with such a hopeful look that it would be unthinkable to deny him. Aemond closes his eye and picks one.
The driver sets off. Aegon is still wearing Aemond’s coat, his head tucked against his shoulder, and they fall into the sort of silence that can only exist between people who don’t need words. Only then does Aemond notice his headache is gone. He lets out a long sigh, relaxes back into the heated seats with his arm around Aegon and a small smile on his face, and watches the city lights pass by in a blur.