Chapter Text
I took a deep breath of fresh, mountain air and sighed. Home. This place would always and forever feel like home in a way that Lima, OH never had.
Camp Cardigan for Boys in New Hampshire has always been my refuge. This whole school year had just sucked. We’d been out of school for two weeks now, and the bruises had mostly faded from my back, remnants of all the locker checks. The nasty words would take longer to fade from my mind.
Being here would help though. Camp is my favorite place in the entire world. My mother and grandmother had gone to the sister camp around the lakeshore long ago (aptly named Camp Cardigan for Girls). My uncle and grandfather had gone here. Hell, my grandparents loved to tell the tale of how they’d fallen in love working as counselors at the camps during college. So the summer after I turned eight, the summer after my mother had died, my grandparents started to pay for me to spend seven weeks each year in this patch of wilderness.
They’d convinced my father that it would be good for me. I’m still not sure how he let me go that first summer, but somehow dear old grandma had convinced Dad that I needed time away from being sad. I’d been hesitant myself. I mean, camp. Surrounded by loud, rowdy boys? Surrounded by dirt and bugs? Plus, after we’d lost Mom, I was feeling rather clingy, too. Still, I think Grandma had been right. It had been a relief to be able to escape. To not have to think about the loss all the time. To not watch my dad cry at night and try to figure out how in the world I was supposed to help him.
I walked over to the porch of the dining hall, leaning over to take a look across the lake at the White Mountains behind, letting the stress and tension of the real world start to drain out of me. I’d flown from Ohio into the Manchester airport that afternoon, but it had been a long drive after the assistant director had picked me up. The wonderfulness was worth it though, just reacquainting myself with trees and green and mountains.
My friends from high school would probably be amazed to see me during the summer. During the school year, I spent hours on skin care and hairdos. I picked my outfits out with an extraordinary amount of care. They probably thought I was allergic to nature. And that was one side of me. But this was me, too.
This me gets crazy tan lines on his feet from running around in Chaco sandals instead of knee high Doc Martins. This me wears more sunscreen and bug spray than any other product (though moisturizer and good conditioner are still key). This me has even been known to jump into the lake fully clothed once or twice.
“Kurt!”
I turned at the sound of my name being called out, flinching reflexively before I see who’s calling me. It wasn't one of the bullies from my junior year. Not here. Here it’s Sam, with his blond, All-American good looks. Sam’s been in my bunk since we both started here at eight. Somehow we managed to stay together every year, and when he wraps me in a quick, tight hug, it feels so good. So right.
“Please tell me you just got here. Because if you’ve been here long and didn’t come looking for me…” Sam let the threat trail off with a grin as he stepped back.
“We’re all so scared. Just plain terrified of those threats, Sammy-boy," the dark haired boy noted beside him, before I’m pulled in for a second quick hug of greeting.
“Mike. It’s good to see you at least!” I told him, with a teasing look over towards Sam before I broke into laughter at his joking pout. “We just pulled in not five minutes ago. It’s so good to be here. And to see both of you.”
I paused for a moment as I looked back towards the old camp station wagon I’d been picked up from the airport in. “After all, I could use someone to help carry my trunk.”
“You just want us for our muscles. Soon I’ll start feeling like a pack mule.” Sam noted, even as both of them started toward the luggage with me. “Junior counselors, man! I’m so excited for this summer. No more lowly camper days for us. And we start the summer in the leadership bunk. So no middle of the night puke-ers to deal with yet either. Best of both worlds!”
I shook my head and let him continue to ramble on as we collected my stuff. I had my trunk of course, but then there was also a duffel bag with my bedding and toiletries. Thankfully it had wheels, so I could manage that with my backpack as Sam and Mike shared the weight of the trunk between them. “JCs. Finally. What program areas did you two get approved for?” I asked over as I swung my backpack up into place.
“Lacrosse and the climbing wall.” Mike stated. Short and to the point was much more Mike’s thing than the rambling on and on Sam could get up to.
“I’ve got Swimming and Basketball.” Sam added looking over as we head across the grassy quad the cabins are lined up around to a large, two story cabin on the end. Leadership bunk, where the Junior Counselors (us) and the Counselors in Training (who we were last year) lived. “We’ve got second floor this year. I’m looking forward to getting a breeze.” Sam said as we pushed open the screen door, heading for the stairs. “What areas do you have?”
“I’ve got Archery and Canoe/Kayak. So we’ll be seeing a good chunk of each other in lifeguard training, Sam.” Each JC had to choose two activity areas to specialize in. Areas that we thought we might want to teach when, and if, we finally got to become full counselors next year. Before we even arrived on camp, we had to interview with the directors for approval to become JCs and to get our chosen program areas approved. After all, not everyone could do, say, archery. I was lucky enough to get both my first choices.
“Please tell me there’s a bottom bunk left. Or better yet, a single. I’m not sleeping on top of either of you.” I noted as we pushed through a wooden door painted a dark green and into the big open room all the JCs would share.
“Kinky, Hummel. Maybe one of us wants you on top.” Sam teased with a waggle of his eyebrows. I replied with some crude single-digit sign language as I yanked my bag of bedding over towards a single cot in the corner.
“My lucky day.” I claimed this one with my trunk at the foot and my sheets on the cot mattress. Then I’d try to once again get used to the fact that teasing here meant a joke. It’d been the same adjustment last summer.
Our final summer as campers, two years ago now, I’d come out to my cabin here. Sam and Mike were the first people I told. Ever. I wasn’t even out to my dad until after I was out at camp. Not that they hadn’t suspected. I don’t think there’s anyone anywhere in my life that really knows me that I could ever successfully hide my sexuality from, even if I wanted to.
The boys here were mostly from New York City, like Mike, and Boston. Then there’s a good chunk, like Sam, from sunny California. All of those places were different worlds from Lima. One of those kinds of places will be my home as soon as I graduate High School.
At school, the teasing isn’t friendly. It’s not the kind where you give back as good as you get because it’s all playful and puppy-like. At school, it’s bullying. I’d long since lost count of the number of times I’ve been called a fag or a homo. But not one of them have been here. I just had to remember that. I had to let that sink in again. I’d always been teased at school, from the start of middle school on, but it got worse after I came out to my friends in Ohio sophomore year. And worse again this last year. But that was over. With a few days of training before the campers came, I’d have almost eight glorious weeks to just be myself here.
The low tolling of a bell brought me out of my reverie. “Dinner!” Sam’s enthusiasm over such a simple thing brought a grin to my face. I tucked the edge of my blanket in neatly to pass any inspection and straightened up.
“Lead on. Do you know what they’re making tonight? God, I hope it’s not meatloaf.” With one last look around at the wooden walls, I followed my friends out across the quad, retracing our steps from earlier. This time, though, it was to a cloud of greetings from returning counselors and claps on the shoulder that weren’t meant to push me over.
“Kurt! You made it. Did these two show you where the JCs are staying this year?” Wes left the side of one of his fellow group leaders to angle over towards us. “I’m in charge of the CITs and JCs again this year, so search me out when you need me, alright?”
I had to bite my lower lip to stifle a laugh as I looked back to see Mike mimicking Wes’s rather officious attitude as Wes walked back away to his friend David’s side.
The laughter I had been stifling came out in a full force assault as soon as Wes was a safe distance away. Sam pulled me back upright with an arm tossed casually over both Mike and my shoulders as he steered us into the dining hall. “Best summer ever starts right now, guys.”
That bell was tolling way too early in the morning for my liking. Come on. Who really needs to be woken up by some director ringing a crazy loud bell? It seemed like at least half the JC group agreed with me, what with the amount of groans I could hear and the way I could see Mike in the next bunk over pulling his pillow over his face.
“If I go to breakfast in my PJ’s, can I get five extra minutes?” Mike mumbled into his pillow as I sat up, stretching my arms up over my head before I yanked them quickly back down under my covers.
A look out the window by my bed showed that the sun was indeed shining on the morning, but damn, it was cold in here. “I think never having to come out from under these covers is a better plan.” I darted a hand out of the blankets again to pull the window above my bed closed the inch or so it was open. “What were we thinking leaving that cracked at night?”
“Guess we were forgetting that we’re in New Hampshire. In June. We’re lucky we’re not popsicles right now.” Mike added finally pulling the pillow off his face before he smirked over at me. “At least I don’t have to start lifeguard training in the lake this afternoon. You and Sam are such suckers.” And with that, he was out of bed, darting to his trunk to pull on a warm hoodie.
A quick shot across the room to warm clothes sounded like a plan, since I probably really couldn’t just spend the whole day in my bunk. “Hopefully the water in the lake will warm up by then?” I suggested as I tried crawling down to the end of my bed with my blankets still tucked firmly around me. From there maybe I could lean over the trunk and open it? No go. At least I’d remembered to sleep in socks so my feet weren’t directly on the cold floor.
“How many summers have you spent here? Does the water ever warm up? Even by August?” Mike shoved a hand through his hair looking down at his Star Wars pajama pants. “Think I can get away with these?”
“I have returned! Did you miss me?” Of course Sam had to make a loud, crashing entrance. Of course. Well, maybe it would at least serve to get the last couple of guys out of their beds. I turned, halfway through pulling up a pair of black and grey plaid skinny jeans to stare over at him. There went the conversation with Mike.
“You were gone?” I teased over as I dug quickly in my trunk to pull out a warm, grey henley, pulling the form fitting shirt on. “Running before the wake up bell already? You’ve only been here a day. Plus, there’s no time to shower before breakfast.” I pointed out with a wrinkled nose. Camp only went so far in my book as a no shower excuse. Apparently Sam thought differently.
“I meant to leave even earlier. But hey, it’s camp. I’ll just put on a thicker coat of deodorant. We’ll be jumping in the lake this afternoon anyway. That’s as good as a shower.” Sam noted as he headed over to his own trunk, tucked at the side of the bunk bed he was sharing with Mike. True to his word, he stuck to an extra layer of deodorant before pulling a hoodie on right over his sweaty workout clothes.
“Just don’t expect me to sit next to you at breakfast.” I tossed back before turning my gaze towards the suddenly quieter Mike. “Yeah, those jeans are probably a better decision.” I noted returning to our earlier conversation as I sat to pull my Chacos on my feet after only a moment’s hesitation. I could live with cold feet and comfort this morning. “Wouldn’t want to piss off Schue on your first full day as a junior counselor. Which means we should probably be getting to flag raising. Good impressions and all that. Plus, the sooner the flag is up, the sooner I get coffee.” I noted, grabbing a sweater to tug on over my other layers as I slipped through the wooden door, trusting they’d follow out into the cold mountain morning.
My crack of dawn discussion with Mike had been right. The lake was freezing. Actually, ice wouldn’t be cold enough to describe how this water felt to my sensitive skin. We’d been in the lake for far too long now, and I still wasn’t used to it.
The morning had been given up to JC orientation with Wes. If I had to listen to one more line from that handbook, I think I’d start screaming. I swear that thing is the new love of Wes’ life. The afternoon was given over to training in the areas we’d be teaching. For everyone on the waterfront, that meant lifeguard training. In the freezing cold lake. Where we’d be spending half our day until the end of the first week of camp to finish this stupid certificate. At least some of it would be book learning other days. Mike was lucky enough to miss out on that to get trained in belaying instead. Lucky, lucky man.
Today we started with the swim test. Freaking Sam dove into the water and swam the 300 meters like it was nothing. The California boy even had a tan already, and seriously, why did both my straight best friends here have to have such good abs for high school boys? It’s not fair. Not that anyone was going to see mine, or my lack thereof. Skin cancer will not be in my future. Besides layers of sunscreen, I fully believed in UV protective rash guards. Plus, they had the added benefit of covering the fading green and yellow of healing bruises across my back. I don’t need comments on those from every passing counselor.
I may not have owned my testing the way Sam did, but I passed. There’s something to be said for long hours dancing in Glee club and time on the treadmill.
Back to the present, I really was starting to think my teeth were going to chatter off when Sam swam up alongside me. “David says we’re done. Race you to the towels?” There was a cheeky grin on Sam’s face at that, so of course I had to agree.
I dashed across the sand at the edge of the lake, darting for the bench were we’d left our towels, managing to get a foot ahead of Sam. “Haha!” I called back, grabbing mine first to frantically rub at my hair.
My hair must have been sticking up twelve different ways from the toweling when I heard the voice of Schue, Will Schuester, our director, coming closer. “This is the swimming side of the waterfront area. Beyond the beach, we have docks for the use of our swim classes and for free swim periods.” Oh great. Schue’s leading a tour. Maybe I can hide over here, blend in with the trees?
“Kurt! Sam! Good to see you two.” No such luck. I guess wearing blue striped boardshorts with a white rashguard made one quite unlikely to blend in with trees. I might have to invest in some camo colored ones. I looked up and over towards Schue only to feel my heart drop to my knees. No more crushes on straight boys, I reminded myself. I wasn’t doing that this summer.
But damn, this boy was worthy of it. Dark hair gelled down, boy next door good looks, and a wounded look in a beautiful pair of hazel eyes. But damn it, I wasn’t going to do this again. Especially when I was standing there dripping all over the place like a drowned rat. I’m sure his first impression of me right now was far from fetching.
“…my office after dinner, Kurt.” Mr. Schue finished, bringing me out of my thoughts. Hopefully I hadn’t missed anything too important. The director turned leading the nervous looking kid off towards the sports fields, continuing the tour. It was only as they turned away that I noticed the cast on the teen’s arm, covering it from above his elbow to his hand. How I could have missed it I don’t know, because it was super bright, fire engine red. Maybe it had something to do with the eyes. No. Not thinking about that.
“Who was that?” I asked Sam, going back to applying the towel to my hopefully not blue and frozen body.
“Must be the new CIT.” Sam replied rather too nonchalantly for my taste.
“What do you mean new CIT? There are never new kids in the oldest age groups or leadership cabin. Never.” I shook my head. But really, he was too old to be a middle schooler, and the new kid definitely couldn’t have passed for college age like any new counselors had to be.
“You didn’t hear about it at lunch? It was all the buzz around my table. But then, you were still refusing to sit by me on grounds I stank.” Sam pointed out with a teasing tone, sliding his feet into his flipflops.
I wrapped the towel tighter around myself, shoving on my own pair as we headed back to the cabin for dry clothes. “You did. You were still wearing those sweaty running clothes! No way was I letting that ruin my appetite. What did I miss?”
“Apparently new kid’s dad knows Schue. Convinced him to take the guy, B-something, I forget what, for the summer.” Sam leaned in a little closer, as if he was about to convey the world’s greatest secret. “I heard he’s Cooper’s little brother. Remember him? Crazy counselor when we were kids? Wonder why it took this long for the guy to start here.”
Mysteries upon mysteries. Or at least they would be in our isolated little community. These guys were great about so many things, but avoiding gossip wasn’t one of them. I could swear that sometimes they resembled a sewing circle of old ladies. “Huh. Well, he looked nice enough. Doubt we’ll be seeing him around the lake anytime soon with that cast.”
“True, true. So, what do you think Schue’s going to want to talk to you about tonight?” I’d almost forgotten about that parting remark. I couldn’t have done anything to get myself in trouble already, could I?