Chapter Text
February 12th, 1988
Georgetown, DC
Lee was happy to be back home, he had spent most of day with his boss Billy Melrose. He didn’t want to be away from his wife as it was so close to their wedding anniversary. Who he happened to miss horrible, for the last two months, he had barely been able to spend Christmas with her and their family. He was thinking that he had been ready to let everyone know about his marriage, especially since he had to deal with that younger agent on this last assignment. He missed being able to be with his wife on this kind of assignment, she would have loved being in Paris with him. As he walked the hallway to his own place, what had he been thinking with this idea when he come up with this whole “secret marriage” idea. In the last year, he had barely been able to any time with her, in fact Lee seen far more of her before they had gotten married when they had only been friends then when they were dating. After they gotten married it was less time together as a couple.
He was hoping that he had the right weekend, so that he could be with his wife this weekend. Knowing that Philip and Jamie were spending every other weekend with their father and new stepmother. Carrie King had wanted to get close to her new stepchildren, while Joe was suddenly dragging his feet with spending time with his own sons, unless he had the free time. This meant that Lee, was now spending more and more time with Philip and Jamie. Which was great for him, he had been able to learn what it was to be a father. Going to their games, school programs, and helping with school assignments; like science or after school hobbies, with Jamie joining the Photo club. And Philip going for the new computer club, Joe never made time like Lee did. Even Carrie was making the time out of her days to be there, so more often than not she was joining him and Amanda on those days. Then come the assignment, that Lee took and was gone for longer than he really liked now.
As was the case with the only phone call home that Lee had been able to do over the last month and half. He had only been able to talk with Dotty, she was home when Lee called the King house in Arlington. Amanda was out, which had made him surprised as it wasn’t a sport, after-school club, or food shopping day, but Dotty just said that Amanda was doing something that she didn’t know the full story of. And it had been during that call that she brought up that Jamie was again upset with Joe. As Joe took Philip for the boy's weekend and left Jamie at home. And Philip had come home afterwards mad over how Joe spent the whole time talking about law or how Philip would be taking up law later on. Lee had been surprised over how much Joe was starting to be one of those parents, more than once Amanda and Dotty had talked about how neither one of the boys like law and they only liked talking about the hobbies that Lee got then into. Which had pissed Joe King off to no end, and he was now trying to make what he was doing as more important than computers or photography.
Did Joe even really get to know his own sons, the way that Lee did? But then again, Lee knew more about the King boys since they were kids. Even now Lee knew more than Joe did, when it came to Jamie and how he felt, for they had ended up doing the Christmas shopping together last year. As Joe caused Jamie to get upset over commits made at a parent/ teacher evening at the school. So, taking Jamie for that afternoon and hearing what Jamie needed to say. Lee found that Jamie felt as if his dad was only more interested in Philip and not him. Lee listened to his younger stepson and let the younger man vent as they moved from shop to shop, Lee brought what Jamie hinted that Amanda, Dotty and Philip would like. while he took note of what Jamie was hoping to get for Christmas now that he was no longer a little kid.
Lee stopped thinking as he got to his front door, thank God that he was home, he now was going to be able to sleep in his own bed, even if it was lonely without his wife. Getting the key in the door, pushing open the door then taking two steps only to stop short, looking from the short hallway. Lee was now blinking at the sight of his two stepsons sport bags. He knew them as he gotten them for the boys after he heard how Philip’s old bag was the first to break, the zipper had broken in school one day; after getting home he had dropped it on his bed, then one of the seams ripped so bad that there was no way to fix it. Lee had gotten them a couple more gifts for Christmas and both boys had been thrilled to get something they could use, unlike what their father had gotten them, junior law books. Even Carrie had been wondering where the gifts that she had picked out for the boys; the new sleeping bags, with a few new camping things that she knew that her two stepsons would love and use that summer.
Then right before the assignment landed on Lee’s lap, there had been the big news that Joe just had to share, even if Carrie was trying to play down, it had all started out fun, the last dinner of the year before they would head into the living room to watch Dick Clark’s New Years special. Lee brought the wine for the adults, he knew that Carrie wasn’t a big drinker, so he hadn’t thought anything of it when she declined the wine, but Joe had started getting on everyone’s nerves, as they were talking about things, then right before the ball dropped, Joe dropped his own bomb, Carrie was pregnant, only Carrie dropped that she wasn’t that sure yet, and she had wanted to wait a couple more weeks, as she had been wrong one other time during the fall. Amanda and Dotty didn’t miss the smug looks on Joe’s face, neither had Lee while Joe was telling them about the new baby, it was as if Joe was trying to make a point.
Then just two days before Lee left, he was over with Amanda at her house, when Joe called and started on how he wanted to buy the house from Amanda and move in within a week or so. Having Joe push that he and Carrie need the house more than Amanda did now. He even said that he was going to force Amanda to give up the house, even if it meant forcing Amanda out into a small place with the boys and her mother, till she could find something else. Lee had made some remarks about letting them stay at his place when he was overseas, the phone call got even more strained when Carrie arrived home and heard Joe’s plan. But Lee knew that if anything like that happened, Amanda, her mother or even Billy would’ve called letting him know.
Lee now trying to think was this not Joe's weekend and had he thrown his family out of the house even though Amanda's name was on the mortgage papers as the only owner of the house, or had Joe forgot that this was to be his weekend with them, so they had shown up here. Flicking on the living room light he saw that his couch was moved, the two young men was camping out on his living room floor. Philip stirred first, blinking his eyes open seeing Lee standing there looking surprised.
“Lee…?” Philip mumbled; he was now rubbing at his eyes. They had missed Lee when he was overseas doing his job. Even his mom was missing Lee, she had been all mopey and sad for days. Lee walked over and kneeled down to his eldest stepson; he wanted to know what happened.
“What are you doing here with Jamie?” He asked lightly keeping his voice low to let his other stepson, Jamie continued to sleep on.
“Mom is overreacting with everything, big and small. Dad is out of town with Carrie with weekend. Some sort of vacation, before the baby arrives, he said to mom, that got her all mad and she was talking about us moving to a new place and things, then grandmother come home from one of her things she does, she was asking mom about you, then Jamie asked if she knew when you were coming home, then mom just blew up. I never saw her like that before, she grabbed her house keys saying that she was going for a walk and grandmother told us to pack some things for the weekend, we would go to a B&B till Monday. I told her that I had the key to your place so here we are all three of us.” Philip told him then as an afterthought he said, “It is ok isn’t Lee?”
“Yeah, chief it is. This is why I gave you it just in case you need it.” Lee smiled at Philip, before he got up and headed to his bedroom. Thinking that he would get some sleep before he would in the morning before heading to the house and seeing his wife.
“Lee, Grandmother she’s in the bedroom.” Lee stopped looking at Philip as he returned to sleep, the words spoken had almost been lost as his eldest stepson feel back to sleep. He was now lightly walking to his bedroom door, opening it he found that Dotty was indeed sound asleep on his bed.
What the hell was going on with Amanda? Heading back to the living room after closing the door, he found the new throw that Dotty had gotten him for Christmas, on the back of the couch. Seating down on the couch, he now freed his feet from the shoes, he pulled his shirt off, before heading back to the light switch to turn it off. Closing his eyes, he flicked them off before he opened his eyes, so that he would see his darken living room. Looking round he saw the boys on the floor, the tv, fireplace and turning his head, he could just make out the couch and the path to it. Returning to his bed for the night, he removed the two pillows, now dropping them onto the floor. He only kept one of the pillow for his head, then pulling knitted throw over his body. He would wait till Dotty was up in the morning and find out what was wrong, he hoped.
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Driving to the King house, Lee parked out front of the house, looking at the gift that he picked up Paris for Amanda. He was still trying to work thru what Dotty had said to him, back in his kitchen. It was the only place that they speak without the boys saying anything.
“Amanda has been acting off, worst in the last month since you when to Europe without her. She has been snaping at the boys and last night she even got mad at me, when I asked her if she was feeling fine. I swear she has a short fuse lately.” Dotty told him as she placed her hands in the hot soapy water, cleaning the pan that she used for the boys pancakes. She had been leaving hints all over the place since last Thanksgiving about him and Amanda moving farther into the relationship. And she even pointed more than once about shopping for engagement rings. Lee had been more than once stopped laughing over how Amanda already had that ring in her jewelry box in her bedroom.
“How short Dotty?” He asked her, thinking that might it have to be because of his own assignment.
“I can only say that it was shocking. The boys had only asked if she knew when you were returning home once. I could hear her getting upset over it. Poor Jamie was hoping that you were coming home soon so that you could help with something that has to do with the camara that he wanted to talk to you about Lee.” Dotty turned looking out to where the apartment dining room was located. They both could see Jamie with his head down looking over a book that Lee had brought back for him about early photography. Lee felt like a heel for not calling home more.
“Sorry about that, but it was an important job. I had hoped that Amanda would come with me, to France. I was thinking of….” He could see Dotty looking at him she was clearly hoping that it meant that he was going to be asking Amanda to marry him. Damn, he felt guilty over this whole mystery marriage idea now. “Amanda is really good with doing background research, and this documentary that we might be doing, for the American/ French friendship, she would’ve loved doing. When she backed out at the last moment, I had to go with…someone else, who was…not as good as Amanda.” Lee said, he was drinking his cup of coffee, he missed having his wife with him on this assignment. Dotty was about to say something, but the boys called out they needed something.
What Lee hadn’t told his mother-in-law was that he had been partnered with some young 20 something woman, who was thinking that she could be the one who was able to hook Scarecrow and make him a one lady man. Instead, Lee had been able to use the fact that the person that they had to watch was living near a girl’s only academy and so they needed to be in separate areas. This was a Godsend as she had been nonstop touching him on the plane and her nonstop chattering about how he was so wonderful, it had his teeth on edge; she was by far worst then Amanda when they first met back in the fall of 83’.
Lee found a cheap rented room for himself and set up the surveillance of the building that the woman would head into daily, and that Lee knew lots of Russian people would hang out at. Thank God he knew most of the areas of Paris, that this woman would be around, meeting her contacts and shopping, so he was able to use that to keep his temp partner in her place. For the most part he was staying in his own room and writing out love letters to Amanda. It had been a stroke of luck that she went shopping one day when Lee had been the one following her. Luckly, she had gone into a woman shop, that sold lingerie, sexy nightgowns with sheer robes. Lee could now while watching the woman, had been able look and see if he could find a gift, that could go with his love letters to his wife.
Knowing his wife’s size and the colors she liked, he looked through the racks while keeping an eye on the other woman, he found what he was looking for and after speaking with the salesperson to hold on to item, he was able to return to the shop later that before it closed, buying it. He found that he couldn’t wait for her to see what he got her. while taking the box back to his place before heading out to eat dinner, he found his partner waiting for him, outside of his room. She wanted to have dinner and a few nightcaps, that she thought would lead them into his bed. Lee used the whole “I need to speak with Billy and plan out tomorrow.” She wasn’t happy but he wasn’t going to be that kind of man who would be sleeping with anything in a skirt when he was overseas. For God shakes he was so close to his first wedding anniversary it had been then that he almost spilled the beans telling the woman that he was a married man and who he was married to.
Now seating in his Vette, he didn’t think that it was going to be like this. Moving his thoughts back to Dotty, and what she told him once she returned to the kitchen, Lee was picking at some of the bacon bites that where still on the plate, he was thinking of things over in his mind, then he heard what made his heart nearly stop. “The last time she was like this, the boys were younger, so they won’t what caused it, it was all on Joe. She was so upset, that she was snapping at everyone for the littlest things. At the time I was still living in my own place, so I never got the whole of it. I only found out when I got a phone call from Joe’s mother, saying that Amanda was snapping at her over the phone for what Joe had been doing. Lee this isn’t like my daughter at all, I hate seeing her like this, upset and snapping at everyone. I hope this didn’t mean that you and her are breaking up.”
Dotty reached over touching her hand on his left biceps. She was looking at him hoping that she hadn’t scared him off with sharing this with him. Double damn, him and his bright ideas about hiding this marriage from her family and their workplace. It wasn’t like there wasn’t married couples working at the Agency too. The only difference was that he and Amanda were work partners and that they worked better together then with others should be a help when they go full on public with their marriage. They do have Billy’s seal of approval for them being together, even if Billy was just in the dark about this marriage. Patting her hand, he looked at Dotty and told her.
“No Dotty, I love her. She knows this, we are happy together. I just don’t know how this happened. Dotty, I can’t see a future without her in it. Please tell me when she started acting like this?”
“Only in the last couple of weeks, she did have a doctor’s appointment some days after you left. She been under the weather a few days before you left as you know; I thought it was just a cold. Looking back, I find myself wondering if this might be tied to something else and that she is upset over everything, it can’t be personally because you and she are together.”
Dotty had looked upset over the fact that her daughter might be sick. Lee had hoped that she wasn’t ill and that she was only upset over the fact that it was so close to their wedding anniversary. Lee decided on reaching that part of his morning conversion with Dotty he had to stop thinking about it and start looking into his wife’s snapping and feeling lousy. Getting out of the Vette, he reached over to where his gift with the letters rested in the car. Placing it under his right arm, he looked on his keyring for the house keys. Smiling over how he was given a set because Amanda’s former boyfriend Dean had never been given them. Dotty had caught him one night over the summer when the boys had been with Joe. He had thought that it would just be him and Amanda in her house, so he had picked the lock. Only, Dotty was there, and she was making her spiked milk before bed, he had to do some quick talking. Amanda rushed down the stairs to find her mother and Lee, who was looking guilty over getting caught after picking the lock. So, the next morning Amanda and he when and got a new set of house keys made for him. but he did for the most part still would knock on one of the doors.
Lee first knocked on the front door, there was no answer, so he pressed the doorbell. Still no answer, he finally used the key. Walking into the house; that he knew just as well as his own apartment layout. He looked into the kitchen and then the living room, den and quick glance in the dining room. Turning his head to look up the stairwell, he then headed up the stairs. The silence in the house was making him unnerved. Was she out, he had seen her car in the driveway, so that meant that her mother and the boys had taken a cab to his place. He was thinking that he might have to fix that after this weekend, like start talking about them moving into the Arlington house till they could find something a bit larger for all of them.
Getting to her bedroom, the door was slightly open, using a finger to open the door even more. Lee could see that Amanda had to still be in the house for a change of clothing was on her bed, hearing noises coming from the bathroom, it sounded like her shower was on. Dropping the box on her bed, he pulled his jacket off and now called out “Amanda!” not a sound for an answer.
Lee moved towards the door, a thud had him running into the room. He found her, kneeling on the floor of the bathtub. She was reaching for something when he said, “Amanda.” She jumped holding the shower curtain over her front. The cloudy/smoky white curtain only gave him a vague outline of her body. It was made even worst with the steam of the hot water from the shower.
“Lee…what the hell, you scared me.” She said now relaxing. The reason for the thud that he heard was in her hands as she was holding a bar of soap.
“I just got in and was calling you, when I heard a thud.” He told her seating down on the toilet. He was wondering if he should undress and join her or wait. “Can I join my wife, it’s been far too long since we’ve been alone like this.” He was feeling his blood heating up and his groin pulsing. It had been far to long without her in his arms or even in a bed.
“No, I’m almost done, why don’t you want for me, downstairs, Lee.” He was going to push the point that they never been this long without talking or sharing a shower when they could since last spring. This was odd as most of the time Amanda had loved it when he would hope on in, even if it was for just a few seconds. This was not like her at all, for Amanda had never turned down sharing her shower with him or his healthy sex drive before.
Had Dotty been right, had Amanda fallen out of love with him, was his heart to break because he had instanced on this whole secret marriage. “Ok…I’ll….I’ll just wait for you downstairs.”
Walking out he wondered if he would be able to save his marriage, he didn’t want to lose the only woman that made his world brighter and happier.
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Once downstairs, Lee made two cups of coffee, he then made toast for himself, he needed some food in his stomach, suddenly. Looking at the sink he could see that the Amanda had made herself, something for breakfast, but she hadn’t eaten the whole of it for it was still on the plate. That wasn’t like her at all, looking at her kitchen he saw that she hadn’t been cleaning like she used to, Dotty and the boys had said that for the last week, she was not herself, not bubbly at all.
She had been snapping at the littlest things, working from home as much as she could, even napping during most of the days. Dotty had listed a few other things, including odd secret phone calls, it was like she was hiding something from her own family. Munching on the toast, Lee sat at the corner of the island, thinking that she was using the skills that he had taught her, to hide whatever this was. and it was now officially bugging him to now end.
Rubbing two fingers over his forehead he was trying not to over think things, it could be innocent, like Billy needing her to help with an assignment. But Billy would’ve said something about that last night, when Lee had been at the Agency giving him the write up of what happened overseas. And explain why the other agent was still over there, while he hoped on the first plane. Lee, only said that British Intelligence was helping out with the case now too. He was really hoping that he could talk Amanda into heading back over with him, for that 20 something was driving him nuts. He was even going to use the excuse of how it could be their second honeymoon, as their first one was cute short, when she had been shot.
The sound of his wife walking down the stairs slowly, once she was on the ground floor and looking at him, he now could see that she might be ill and not as Dotty feared seeing another man. She was all too pale for his liking, her cheeks won’t their normal shape or color, clearly she hadn’t been eating right. She walked closer to him, her eyes didn’t have the normal brightness that had since that October day back 1983, that drew him to her, even as she had been just minding her own business and walking back to her parked station wagon.
“Lee…when did you get home?” She was looking at the second cup that was waiting for her. Coming closer still, she had an uncertain look, like she was afraid of what was to come.
“Yesterday, I spent most of the day at the Agency being debriefed, it had been too late to call here or even show up, so I headed home only when I arrived at the apartment, I found that Philip, Jamie and Dotty there. Honey are you alright? Your mother thinks your ill ot seeing someone else. But on seeing you, I…Amanda are you alright?” He asked getting up, from his chair. He could see that even her hair seemed dull.
First, he was looking at how she hadn’t taken up her cup, then the movement of her hands, one to her stomach, while the other one when to her mouth, then she bolted to the half bath near the living room.
“AMANDA!” Lee followed her as she got into the small room, where there was just a sink and toilet. He found that she was kneeling over the toilet, throwing up. “Sweetheart, my god Amanda.” Getting the hand towel, from the rack on the other wall, he hurried and wetted it in the sink. Afterwards he kneed by her and moved it first rubbing it against her neck before moving to her cheeks and forehead thinking that she might have a fever, he could feel that she wasn’t running a temperature. So why was she throwing up like this? He was almost afear to ask and he watched as she sank down on the cold tiled floor, resting her head on his legs.
He closed the lid and then flushed the bowl clean. “Honey, what’s wrong?” He was almost shaking hoping that he would have her for his whole life and not just a few short moments.
“Nothing…I’m just…I can’t stand the smell of coffee right now. And few other foods too.” She told him, her voice was in a near whisper, he was trying not to panic, over reacting like calling 911. She needed him for whatever it was, he just hoped that it wasn’t going to be bad, was he going to be losing her to whatever illness she was now dealing with.
“Do you want me to get you some tea or anything?” Thinking, he remembered his mom with a cup of tea, saying that tea was best for whatever ails a person. Even Emily was quick with a smoothing cup of tea when he was in need of one, while he would be in England.
“Water, that’s all I would need for now Lee.” Amanda didn’t think that she would be able to keep much down at this point, she had to deal with this, and she would.
“Ok, let's get you up off the floor and into bed, honey. You’ll be more comfortable in your own bed.” Saying this as he helped her up. Seeing her suddenly swaying where they were now standing her didn’t waste any more time or thought, he scooped her up in his arms, walking up the stairs, he could feel her arms wrapping around his shoulders and neck.
Getting her back to her bed, he moved the box to the vanity, he was thinking that it was odd, she felt a bit heavier, but also, she looked like she was not eating and losing weight. Once out of the room, Lee took a few breathes, he would have to find out what was going on and see just how ill she was. Hurrying down, he got her that glass of water, before finding another glass and pouring some OJ for himself. He just hoped that the water wasn’t going to make her worst and causing her to again throw up what little she did now have in her.
++++
Amanda was glad to see Lee, but how would he take the news, she was still trying to think of how she could tell him, so far, the only two people who knew besides her and the doctor was Efraim Beaman and Francine Desmond. And that was only because they had been in the office when she fainted; after learning the news at work of all places, in front of them. Fearing that Francine would be telling Lee before she could let him know, but instead she had been helping her with keeping it a secret till Lee returned home. But now she would have to tell Lee before Francine would be telling Billy Melrose and the whole of the Agency.
Amanda was unfortunately far more scared over how Lee would take the news than anyone else at work. She had only this morning decided on selling Joe the house, he had been asking for her to sell it to him since Carrie had announced that she was indeed pregnant. Joe had been after the house even before Carrie was really pregnant, and that he had been daily calling and trying to bully her into selling before she could even find someplace else for her family. Lee had spoken one day getting a larger place, more rooms and maybe a larger back yard to the boys now that they had outgrown their childish play areas here at the house.
Hearing Lee coming back up the stairs she moved her eyes to the not so fancy box, there was just a simple ribbon, which told her that he brought it when he was overseas during the assignment. Wishing that she had been able to join him, the original plan was for them to play at honeymooners, but soon after that she had felt rundown she knew that there would be no way that she could do it. He had been somewhat upset when he had been told that she couldn’t go and he had to be paired with a younger partner. Amanda, had at first thought that she was coming down with the flu or a cold. This was the one day that she had wished that she had just gone with him and got the news with him so that she hadn’t been dealing with this worrying bit.
Swallowing her tears, hoping that Lee would not be upset with the news. The worst had been since getting the news that she had to keep the news from her mother and sons. Now she had to tell Lee today, he saw her ill and she didn’t want him calling her doctor thinking that she was dying. Lee was walking closer to her door, she could hear that his steps stopping, a slight knock before the door opened and her husband’s head popped in. Suddenly she burst out in tears, placing her hands over her face she couldn’t stop crying.
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Lee stopped, even now being married to Amanda, on see her like this gave him a bit of panic, his old self would want to bolt as far from her as possible. Now he looked at his wife, wondering why she was in tears, placing the tray that he was using for the glasses so that he could have a free hand down on the little table on the other side of the door.
“Honey…” He hurried to her side dropping on the bed, now gathering her into his arms. Something was off, her bust of crying that had never been too long, seemed to be getting slightly longer. “Amanda, honey. Tell me what’s wrong I can help with it.” He was kissing her forehead; he could feel her tears soaking his shirt as she was now crying harder. How bad could this really be?
“Lee, I…thought that it was safe the last time we were together…I didn’t know…. don’t be mad.” She wailed into his shirt, soaking it with even more tears and holding him even tighter what was she talking about, “I had thought that it was safe the last time we were together.” What did she mean by that?
“Honey what, are you saying?”
Amanda pulled her face from his chest, her eyes red from tears and her face all blotchy, she had to tell him and hope for the best. “Lee…I’m…”