Chapter Text
The moment unfolded like any other playful fanservice - at least, that’s how Nayeon had imagined it.
She turned toward Sana, who was standing just a step away. Their eyes met, and Sana’s grin was wide and mischievous, the kind of expression that dared Nayeon to do something ridiculous.
Feeling the high of the performance, Nayeon puckered her lips dramatically, leaning toward Sana with the playful intention of a fake kiss - something harmless that fans would eat up. She fully expected Sana to play along before pulling away at the last second. Instead, Sana closed the gap and leaned in further.
Nayeon barely had time to register what was happening before Sana’s lips brushed hers.
The crowd roared.
It was quick, featherlight, but it was undeniably a kiss.
Sana pulled back almost immediately, falling onto the floor with boisterous laughter. The crowd’s roar grew deafening, and the other members were half shocked, half amused at what just happened.
Nayeon didn't have much time to process it either, with Jihyo signalling her to continue singing her lines. She found herself struggling to keep on a bright smile for the rest of the performance, her mind spinning in circles and heart pounding in her chest.
But the show had to go on. And it was just fanservice right? Nothing real? This kind of thing had happened before - a playful touch, a staged near-kiss for the fans.
But the way Nayeon’s cheeks burned, the way her stomach churned with something she couldn’t name, told her this time was different.
The ride back to the company building was unusually quiet. Nayeon sat beside Jeongyeon, staring out the window and replaying the moment in her mind. She told herself she was overthinking it, that it was just a silly joke. But the sensation of Sana’s lips lingered, soft and warm and entirely too real.
Sana, sitting a few seats away, seemed completely unaffected. She laughed along with the other members, teasing Dahyun about a missed step during one of the songs. But every so often, Nayeon caught her glancing in her direction, her smile faltering ever so slightly.
Back at JYP HQ, the teasing began almost immediately.
“Nayeon-unnie and Sana-unnie really went all out today, huh?” Tzuyu said with a smirk, scrolling through her phone. “The clips are already going viral.”
Jeongyeon arched a brow at Nayeon. “Was that scripted, or…?”
Nayeon shrugged, feigning indifference. “Just Sana being extra, as usual.”
Sana chuckled from where she was sprawled on the couch. “Don’t blame me! You started it.” Her tone was light, but there was something in her eyes that Nayeon couldn’t quite place.
“Well, next time, give me some warning before you kiss me,” Nayeon shot back, trying to match Sana’s playful energy. The words came out sharper than she intended, and the room went quiet for a beat too long.
Sana’s smile didn’t falter, but her eyes flickered briefly with something - was that a look of hurt? “Noted,” she said, her voice softer than before.
The girls continued to discuss some final comeback preparations with their management team, as they packed up after the successful fanmeet.
Nayeon was the first to head home for the night, claiming exhaustion. Entering her apartment, she headed straight for bed. Usually she'd immediately shower after a hard day of work, but something inside was draining her from within.
She lay down and stared at the ceiling, her heart heavy with guilt and something else she wasn’t ready to name.
Rehearsals for the upcoming Strategy comeback were grueling. The girls spent hours drilling choreography, perfecting formations, and adjusting blocking for the cameras. The room buzzed with energy, but Nayeon felt off-kilter, every movement stiff and robotic.
She caught Sana’s eye once during the warm-up, and her stomach twisted. Sana smiled at her, soft and warm, but Nayeon quickly looked away, pretending to stretch.
As the day wore on, she found herself avoiding Sana without even meaning to. She swapped places with Momo during formations, opting to be on the opposite side of the stage. During water breaks, she drifted to Tzuyu or Jihyo, never lingering near Sana for too long.
“Unnie, are you okay?” Tzuyu asked at one point, her brow furrowed in concern.
“Yeah, just tired,” Nayeon replied quickly, forcing a smile. “You know how it is.”
Tzuyu nodded, but her gaze lingered, unconvinced.
Sana, on the other hand, seemed completely unfazed - or so Nayeon thought. She laughed and joked with the others, her usual bubbly self, but there was a subtle shift in her demeanor. Her laughter was just a touch quieter, her eyes a little more cautious when they landed on Nayeon.
The avoidance became harder to mask as the days went by. During a particularly intense rehearsal, they ran through Sweetest Obsession again and again, focusing on transitions between sections. Nayeon and Sana’s duet moment - where they were supposed to lock eyes and dance close—became a minefield.
Nayeon flinched when Sana moved toward her, her steps faltering.
“Cut!” The choreographer clapped her hands, her frustration evident. “Nayeon, what’s going on? You’re out of sync.”
“Sorry,” Nayeon muttered, her cheeks flushing.
Jihyo shot her a questioning look as they reset positions, but Nayeon avoided her gaze, focusing on the floor instead.
The next time they ran the section, Nayeon forced herself to hold Sana’s gaze, her smile plastered on like armor. Sana’s expression was unreadable—calm, steady—but her eyes searched Nayeon’s, as if trying to find the answer to a question she hadn’t asked yet.
That evening, as they cooled down after rehearsal, Sana approached her.
“Unnie,” she said softly, her tone light but deliberate. “Are you okay?”
Nayeon froze, pretending to rummage through her bag. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You tell me.”
Nayeon’s fingers curled into fists. She turned, her smile too bright, too forced. “I’m fine, Sana. Seriously. You’re imagining things.”
Sana didn’t press further, but the way she looked at Nayeon - like she could see right through her - left Nayeon’s chest tight with guilt.
Nayeon felt constricted like she couldn't breathe, desperately heading for the door and out to the washroom. Thankfully, it was empty. She hurriedly entered a cubicle and sat on the toilet seat, just calming her own breathing.
Over the years, Nayeon had always felt something for Sana, though she could never quite put it into words. At first, it was admiration. Sana’s natural charm, her unwavering warmth, the way she made everyone around her feel special—it was impossible not to be drawn to her.
As time passed, that admiration grew into something more complicated. Nayeon found herself noticing Sana in ways she hadn’t noticed anyone else. The way her laughter lingered in the air, the way her eyes sparkled when she was excited, the way she could light up a room without even trying.
But Nayeon had buried those feelings deep. They were in a group, after all, and these kinds of emotions had no place in the tightly-knit fabric of their lives. So she chalked it up to friendship, convincing herself it was nothing more than that.
The kiss changed everything.
But there was still no room at all to feel anything about it. Nayeon had to repeatedly tell herself that.
The tension came to a head during a late-night practice. Most of the members had gone to bed, leaving only Nayeon, Sana, and Jihyo in the studio. They were supposed to be running individual parts, but Nayeon found herself sitting on the floor, stretching and scrolling aimlessly through her phone.
“You’ve been off lately,” Jihyo said bluntly as she handed Nayeon a bottle of water.
“I’m fine,” Nayeon replied automatically.
Jihyo raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. Before she could push further, Sana walked over, her expression carefully neutral.
“Nayeon-unnie,” she said quietly. “Can we talk?”
Nayeon stiffened. “Now? We’re in the middle of practice.”
“We’re done for tonight,” Jihyo interjected, standing. “I’ll leave you two to… whatever this is.”
Nayeon glared at Jihyo as she left, but the leader’s knowing smirk only made her more flustered.
Sana sat down beside her, close enough that their knees brushed. “Unnie, what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Nayeon said quickly, avoiding her gaze.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I haven’t-”
“You have.”
The silence stretched between them, heavy and unrelenting. Finally, Nayeon let out a shaky sigh. “It’s not you, Sana. I just… I need space.”
“Space from what? From me?”
Nayeon didn’t answer.
Sana’s voice softened, her frustration giving way to vulnerability.
“Unnie, if this is about the... kiss, I'm sorry I did it. I don't know what overcame me, doing that in the spotlight in the middle of such an important performance. I was playing along but before I knew it, I don't know why I actually kissed you. I'm sorry I crossed a line. If it's bothering you that much, can you just forget it happened?"
Nayeon could tell Sana was trying to resolve the situation, but it made her feel worse inside.
Forgetting that it ever happened, how could she? Not when the moment had been replaying in her mind every waking second of the day.
And for Sana to just suggest that the kiss meant nothing - it hurt Nayeon more than she thought it would. Of course Sana - the most affectionate, playful girl of the group - would go around playfully kissing her members, it was fanservice after all.
Nayeon was always good at being cheeky too, but somehow every lingering moment with Sana and seeing the younger girl behaving like nothing had happened was so, so hard. Her feelings were bubbling, about to erupt to the surface, but she had to put a lid on it.
She wanted to say things, things like, "No I can't forget it because it meant something to me."
Or things like, "I don't know why it's affecting me so much and I fear I have feelings for you that I shouldn't have."
But all that came out was, "Okay, yes. Let's forget it."
Nayeon couldn't wait to see what Sana's response was. She stood up and left, rushing to exit the JYP building and get home quick before she succumbed to tears.