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“For God’s sake, Penelope Featherington, are you going to marry me or not?”
“… Not.”
—
Penelope woke up with a gasp.
She shouldn’t be surprised. She dreamt of the same memory most nights over the last two years. Her biggest regret, yet the only right answer to his question.
She was haunted by the hurt in his eyes, the surprise in his voice, the tears he fought against. She was haunted by the life she would never have, the life she had always wanted, the dreams she gave up. She would do it all over again for him.
Penelope glanced over at her clock and sighed. She may as well get up and before her lesson plan for Oliver and Amanda. Her cousins by blood, her students by profession, her niece and nephew by love.
They could have been your niece and nephew through marriage, her torturous mind taunts her.
But no, it wasn’t fair to trap Colin in a marriage that was based on nothing more than a passionate moment in a carriage. He deserved a marriage based on love.
Her love alone could sustain their marriage but it wouldn’t be able to thrive on that alone.
Little did Penelope know that a mere few weeks later, Eloise would be getting married to Sir Phillip, gaining a couple of children in the process. She invited Penelope to live with them, to take over the role of governess.
A week after the wedding, Colin left for the continent and had remained there since. That was that.
It was a fulfilling enough life to be the governess to two darling children. It was better than living under her mother’s thumb or her sisters’ rules. Sir Phillip was a kind man who gave Penelope and Eloise their privacy. Eloise, on the other hand, did not know the meaning of personal space when it came to Penelope, never giving Penelope the chance to get lonely.
Now that Eloise was with child, however, their time together was growing shorter and shorter. Eloise was hit hard by pregnancy, incredibly ill in the first trimester, exhausted and crabby throughout. Eloise spent a lot of her time in bed, napping and counting down the days until she gave birth.
Part of Penelope felt envy for her best friend. She longed for a family of her own, though she never found a suitor. Certainly not one that could compete with her love for Colin Bridgerton.
Though Penelope’s dreams of a family of her own caused some ache, she was content with her life at Romney Hall.
Penelope never really gave much thought to teaching. In her youth, her romantic spirit told her that one day Colin would fall before her and claim his undying love before sweeping her off her feet. In the end, she got a proposal out of obligation that she rejected out of love.
As a young adult, her Whistledown column occupied her mind and her time. As the years passed, however, the gossip grew tiresome and stale. She grew tired of writing the same stories with different names.
When Eloise offered for Penelope to take over the governess duties of her new children, Penelope was wary. She loved learning but had never taught anything. She soon found out she had a natural gift and passion for it. She loved seeing Amanda’s beaming smile when she figured out a particularly hard sum or how Oliver memorized scientific facts with ease.
Penelope also knew that she had it far better than any other governess. The Cranes welcomed Penelope to dine with them every night. Penelope and Phillip struck up their own friendship, sharing amused looks as Eloise launched into yet another impressive rant. The Cranes encouraged Penelope’s writings as she inched away at a novel over the last two years.
Penelope was mostly satisfied with the path her life had taken over the last two years.
However, there was always the undercutting, painful part of her heart that wondered: what if.
-
With her new occupation, Penelope no longer attended social events. The Crane clan rarely made their way to London as both Sir and Mrs. Crane were not ones for the city.
It suited Penelope just fine. Without Lady Whistledown to occupy her time, she found balls to be tiresome. She was tired of clinging to walls by herself.
It didn’t help that they reminded her of Colin, who hadn’t been back to England in the last two years. She had no desire to dance with anyone but him.
Not that anyone else would ask.
The one exception to her embargo on social events was the Heart and Flowers ball at Aubrey Hall.
Every year, the majority of the Bridgertons and their families made their way to Aubrey Hall. The family would all gather in the week leading up to the event to spend time together.
As an old family friend and the governess of the two eldest grandchildren, the invitation was extended to Penelope.
Penelope was grateful for it. She so loved getting to return to Aubrey Hall with the Cranes. Once Eloise was engaged to Phillip, Penelope feared being left behind by her chosen family. After all, they were all rapidly getting married off. Gregory was the only unmarried sibling left behind.
Well, Gregory and Colin.
Penelope didn’t allow herself to dwell on that.
She knew that Colin was still unwed. Though they had not exchanged letters in years, he was a dedicated correspondent of Eloise, who would in turn regale Penelope and Phillip with tales of his adventures and updates about his life.
Eloise never noticed the heartbreak and regret that would cross Penelope’s face as she read but she did notice Phillip shooting her understanding looks as Eloise read, blissfully unaware of her friend’s torment.
Phillip received his own letters from Colin, though unlike Eloise, he chose to keep them private. The two men had struck up a frequent correspondence over the years, turning into a deep friendship that went beyond simply being brothers-in-law. Colin would press flowers and leaves to send to Phillip, who would share them with his children, already well on their way to becoming dedicated horticulturalists like their father.
Colin would also send trinkets and souvenirs to Amanda and Oliver, who would excitedly ask Penelope to teach them about the places their uncle visited.
Colin would also never fail to inquire about Penelope’s well being. Every time Eloise mentioned Colin asking about her, Penelope would feel her heart clench.
Penelope never received any letters from Colin.
The ride between Romney Hall and Aubrey Hall was blissfully short. Penelope squeezed herself between Oliver and Amanda, using the ride to encourage them to read aloud to their parents. The children smiled brightly at Eloise as she interjected her commentary
“Was Mama Eloise always like this?” Oliver asked in mock exaggeration, shooting a charming smile at Eloise.
Between the two children, Oliver had the harder time opening up to new people after Marina’s death. Eloise had quickly managed to worm her way into his heart with her domineering personality and her inability to speak to children in a patronizing manner.
Phillip admitted when Penelope took over the duties as governess when their old employee moved on to tend to her sister’s growing children that he wasn’t sure how successful Penelope would be with Oliver as his overwhelming shyness and anxiety after his mother’s death made it hard for him to connect with new people.
It took time but Penelope managed to become a confidant of Oliver’s, helping him process his grief with her gentle nature and ability to read situations. She was able to predict Oliver’s moods and distract him as needed.
“Your Mama Eloise always has an opinion, that’s one of the many, many things that I love about her,” Penelope replied, shooting a beaming smile at Eloise who preened under her best friend’s praise.
“It is important to make your opinions known, children,” Eloise said firmly, earning an eye roll from Phillip.
“It is important to make your opinions known, in a thoughtful manner when the situation calls for it,” Penelope added desperately, knowing part of her role in the household was to get the children ready for their eventual debut into society.
There had been several instances where Penelope asked Eloise if she was sure Penelope was the best person to teach her children how to behave in society.
Eloise always waved her off. “You will teach my children how society ought to be, not how it is,” she would say each time, firmly putting the matter to rest.
By the time the group’s carriage rolled into Aubrey Hall, Oliver and Amanda were already bouncing on their seat, causing Penelope to laugh as they jostled her.
“Thank goodness we did not have to ride all the way from London!” She exclaimed as she slipped on her gloves.
As they rolled to a stop, both children hastened to get out of the carriage, each running towards their grandmother Violet who stood waiting for them at the door with open arms.
“To think,” Phillip began as he got out of the carriage, assisting both Eloise and Penelope down. “In a few months we will have another one to add to our little pack.”
Penelope couldn’t help the wistful grin that crossed her face. She was so excited to meet her best friend’s new baby but part of her ached that she would never have the same joy that Eloise had.
“Penelope!” Violet exclaimed, drawing Penelope in for a tight embrace. “We are so happy you could join us!”
“I would never miss the Heart and Flowers ball,” Penelope said, pulling back from Violet’s motherly embrace. Part of her loathed to pull back, the matriarch’s hugs were so special to Penelope who did not have a close relationship with her own mother.
Violet grasped Penleope’s hands as she pulled back, smiling brightly at her. “And this year’s festivities are going to be so special to me. Can you believe it has been two years since our entire family has been together?”
Blood rushed through Penelope’s ears. She couldn’t possibly mean…
“Hello, Pen,” a deep voice came from behind Violet.
Penelope’s gaze shot up to meet the deep blue eyes of the one man she both longed for and was devastated to see.
“Col-Col-” she stuttered, dropping Violet’s hands.
“That would be Colin,” he interjected. Colin’s mouth twitched slightly as he gazed back at Penelope.
He had changed in the last two years, his hair longer and less meticulously styled. His clothes were darker than he wore before he left, his shirt undone at the top as he disregarded his cravat. He was still as handsome as he was the last time they met, however.
“I did not know you would be here,” Penelope said, glancing over at Eloise, who was embracing Benedict and his wife, Sophie.
“I assume you would not have come had you known,” Colin mumbled, finally tearing his eyes away from Penelope.
Penelope frowned. She had hoped the next time that they saw each other that they could at least have a civil conversation. She had hoped that, in time, Colin would realize that she was trying to help give him the chance to live his life as he wanted to and not be beholden to an obligation.
“Of course I would have come if I had known you would be here,” Penelope lied. In truth, she would have begged off. He didn’t need to know that.
“I’m sure,” Colin said with a tight smile.
Violet’s eyes darted between the two former friends. “Would you like to freshen up, dear?” Violet asked.
Penelope tore her eyes from Colin before shaking her head. “I shall catch up with you all after tea, I believe I will keep an eye on Amanda and Oliver. We would not want them to get into as much mischief as I know they are able to,” Penelope joked weakly. She allowed her eyes to dart to Colin quickly, taking in his cool expression and the tightness of his jaw as he stared at her. Penelope couldn’t bring herself to look at the other members of the group, nervous about what she would find in their expressions.
Without another word, Penelope slinked off after Amanda and Oliver, who had run along to the other side of the house.
In truth, she didn’t intend to keep her eyes on the children. She knew how good they were, that though they had been in the Bridgerton family for the last two years, they were still a little nervous around the boisterous clan.
She leaned heavily against a stone wall that stood in the back side of Aubrey Hall, away from the prying eyes of the Bridgertons and their spouses. Away from Colin.
It was truly pathetic that he could still make her heart hammer in her chest, that one look from him could make her so happy and so nervous at the same time. To still be as in love with him as she was after two years of no contact.
Penelope heard footsteps approach her and somehow she just knew who she would find.
Colin wasted no time approaching Penelope, his eyes focused on her. He leaned over her, one of his hands caressed the underside of her jaw while the other arm caged her in. Penelope couldn’t help but gape up at him. He was as beautiful as he had been that night in the carriage.
“Did you miss me,” Colin muttered as his hand trailed down her neck. Penelope suppressed a shutter.
“Yes,” Penelope sighed, unable to lie to Colin. He was too close to her, she knew he would be able to read every emotion that crossed her eyes. With her role as Lady Whistedown retired, Penelope found it harder and harder to keep secrets. “I always miss you.”
Colin scoffed. “I offered you a perfectly adequate solution to that,” he said, bitterness lacing his tone. He pulled back from her and straightened his jacket. Penelope mourned the loss of his radiating heat against her.
“Eloise told me of many of your adventures, it sounds as if you’ve been enjoying your time abroad,” Penelope said, desperate to change the subject.
Something akin to resignation crossed Colin’s face as he looked away from Penelope. “It’s been fine,” he sighed, his broad shoulder slumping.
Penelope frowned. “I can only imagine how tiring travelling can be.”
“I’ve come to realize that travelling isn’t the life I desire,” Colin said vaguely, turning his eyes back to Penelope.
Penelope cleared her throat, feeling her heart pounding at his words. His burning gaze bore into her. It was astonishing how even just his eyes on her after all these years could have her heart soar.
“How is it being a governess? I cannot imagine Eloise is easy to work for,” Colin joked.
Penelope smiled slightly at his question, feeling her heart ease. “Amanda and Oliver are lovely children,” she said, her fondness for the children clear in her tone. “They’re so quick witted and clever. They have been through so much but they are just so incredibly happy.”
“Do they… know you’re their cousin?” Colin asked awkwardly. Really it was none of his business but part of him couldn’t help but wonder. In another, less kind life these children could have been his.
“Yes,” Penelope replied. “Phillip thought it was important for the children to have some tie to their mother. I know we weren’t close in the end but I do have some fond memories of Marina. She was kind to me in a time when very few were not.”
Colin cast his eyes down. Penelope felt sadness bubble up in her. Though it had been years since Marina had passed and even longer since her ill-fated engagement to Colin, Penelope still felt a tinge of guilt about taking away his first love.
“It is good that they have you,” Colin muttered. The sound of children’s laughter rang out from nearby, getting closer to them. Colin took a large step back, obeying the unwritten rules of propriety that had been beaten into them since childhood.
“Uncle Colin!” Amanda exclaimed, throwing her arms around his waist. Colin smiled down at his almost-daughter-turned-niece. He paused for a moment before reaching around the young girl’s waist, twisting her upside down before tossing her over his shoulder. Oliver ran behind Colin, who was quicker than the young boy and Colin grabbed him around his waist.
“I think it’s time I take you mischief makers to your grandmama,” Colin teased. He gave Penelope one more lingering glance before turning around, carrying the preteens inside.
Penelope watched as he walked away, putting her hand over her heart. Watching Colin even briefly with Oliver and Amanda somehow endeared him to her even more. To see the children who had barely interacted with their uncle so comfortable with him made Penelope wonder about a different life, one where they were able to have children together. She knew he would be an excellent father.
With a few more deep breaths, Penelope tried to regulate her emotions before slowly following the trio into the grand manor.
This week was going to be much more difficult than she anticipated.
–
The days leading up to the Heart and Flowers ball were torture for Penelope. Being this close to Colin again after the two years apart caused the feelings she had tried to push down to come flooding back.
She really should not be so surprised. She had spent half her life loving Colin, a little distance couldn’t put a stop to that, even if she had hoped it would.
In truth, somehow, her feelings were even stronger than they were before. Seeing him interact with Oliver and Amanda caused a regret in Penelope that she did not allow herself.
Colin had taken it upon himself to spend time with his oldest niece and nephew. Though Colin was amazing with babies, children are where he shined. He would spend hours exploring the grounds of Aubrey Hall with them, showing them hidden gems that they had never seen before. He would teach them games that he had learned on his journeys throughout Europe and North Africa. He would regale them with stories and fairytales he learned on his adventures.
Had she accepted his proposal that night after the carriage, could they have had children by now? She knew Colin would be an excellent father but to watch her two students, who had suffered so much loss in their young lives, to flourish under Colin’s attention caused her heart to swell every day.
Colin did not spend much time with Penelope, though she felt his eyes linger on her when they were in a room together. Occasionally, she met them and he would tilt his head pensively. She knew he had much more to say so she avoided him at all costs.
However, she should have known better than to try and avoid Colin in a ballroom. The ballroom was their domain, a place where they could dance and gossip and laugh together. She often wondered in her years as a governess if she didn’t miss society events because she had spent her life thoroughly ignored in them or if she didn’t miss them because Colin was gone.
At least she felt good about herself entering the ballroom with Phillip. Eloise, now deep in her confinement, did not attend the event, opting to spend her time reading with Amanda and Oliver while Phillip made his obligatory appearance in the ballroom.
For Penelope, it felt nice to get dressed up. She so often wore work dresses around Romney Hall that wearing a creation by Madam Delacroix felt like a treat. Her dress was a blush pink, adorned with floral embroidery. Her hair was pinned half to the side, kept back with a jewel encrusted floral comb. Penelope knew that the majority of her night would be spent clinging to walls, perhaps having some engagement with the Bridgerton sisters-in-law but she was excited nonetheless.
She couldn’t help but let her eyes scan the ballroom, spotting Colin immediately. Penelope couldn’t help but curse herself. Why, after so many years, was she still so attuned to him? Surely this feeling should have faded with time and distance? She felt truly pathetic.
“You should probably talk to him,” Phillip interjected, shocking Penelope from her inward spiral.
Penelope stayed silent for a beat before shrugging. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you are speaking about.”
Phillip snorted as he led Penelope to the edge of the dance floor. “Penelope, I may be quiet but I am not blind. I know there is something going on between yourself and my brother-in-law,” he said softly, careful to not draw the attention of those around him.
Penelope sighed. “He proposed to me once and I turned him down. It was only done out of obligation.”
Penelope was startled that Phillip did not seem surprised. “And you have not talked since then?”
“No,” Penelope confirmed. “Not until this week.”
“No time like the present,” Phillip said, nodding towards Colin who was walking towards them determinedly.
Penelope felt her heart hammering in her chest. Part of her knew that Phillip was right, she was thirty years old and with the Crane family expanding, she would be around Colin for at least another fifteen years. She could not go on avoiding him due to events of the past.
Penelope forced herself to meet Colin’s eyes once he was in front of her. He was devastatingly handsome with his hair styled perfectly and his tailored navy suit jacket hugging his broad shoulders. The grey that tinged his hair reminded her of just how many years had passed since they were last in a ballroom together.
“Dance with me?” Colin asked, extending his hand to her.
Wordlessly, Penelope slipped her gloved hand into his as he walked her towards the dance floor. As they took their positions, Penelope relished in the feeling of his large hand on her waist
“I missed this,” Colin said softly, tightening his hold on her for just a moment.
Penelope smiled tightly back at him, unable to bring herself to take his words to heart. “I’m sure you’ve had many lovely dances with fine young ladies on the continent,” she said bitterly.
“Hardly,” Colin scoffed. “I have not danced in years.”
“But you so love to dance,” Penelope protested, shocked at Colin’s admission.
“I love to dance with you,” Colin emphasized. He paused for a moment to twirl her in accordance with the dance. “Pen,” he whispered, staring into her eyes.
Penelope felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest as she met his denim coloured eyes. She couldn’t look away from him, seeing the longing and pain written across his face.
“Excuse me,” she said suddenly, drawing away from him.
“Pen, don’t leave,” Colin pleaded. “I need to talk to you.”
Penelope shook her head, glancing around. She noticed a few of the Bridgertons eyeing the couple curiously. “We cannot talk here.”
“Come with me,” Colin said, grabbing her gloved hand and leading her outside.
Penelope couldn’t find it in herself to worry about propriety at this moment. She was a spinster and was not in need of a chaperon but to hold hands with a bachelor was not done. However, she knew she needed to speak to Colin. Fourteen long years of wanting him was coming to a head. How much longer could she go on not fully putting the subject to rest?
The duo made their way to a private area in the gardens, far away from prying eyes.
Colin let go of Penelope’s hand only to drag his own hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. Penelope stood silently, clasping her hands in front of her.
“Pen, I need to know why you would not marry me,” he said finally, his eyes shining with vulnerability. “It has been haunting me for years. I think back on that night every day and wonder why you refused my hand.”
“Oh, Colin!” Penelope exclaimed, throwing up her hands. “We both know that you only proposed to me out of obligation! Whether it was due to Whistledown or… the carriage,” Penelope sputtered, feeling her heart skip a beat at the memory of their time together. “It was only an obligation! I couldn’t do that to you!”
A moment of silence passed between them before Colin reached up and trailed his fingertips down Penelope’s face. Her skin burned under his gentle touch and she couldn’t help but let her eyes flutter shut.
“You do not know the torment I’ve lived with for the last two years,” Colin ground out. The harsh whisper of his voice contrasted with how reverently he caressed her face with the tips of his fingers. “Knowing how your skin feels under my fingers, remembering what it is like to kiss you, to feel your breast, your breath caressing my skin. I dream of you every night. I see you in every sight. I cannot run from you, believe me, I have tried ,” Colin said with a laugh before pressing his forehead against hers.
Penelope reached her hands up to cradle his face, letting her eyes flutter shut. She allowed her thumbs to caress the stubble on his jaw as she felt his breath on her face.
“You’ll find the woman you wish to marry one day, someone you can marry for love,” Penelope said as her hands drifted down to clutch at the lapels of his jacket.
“Why is it so difficult for you to believe that I found the woman I wished to marry? That I’ve spent every day of the last two years longing for her, wishing I could convince her to marry me?” Colin let out a humourless laugh, shaking his head as he pulled back from her. Penelope mourned the loss of his heat as she lifted her head to look at him. “You are the only wife I wish to have, Pen. I will remain a bachelor without you.”
Penelope shook her head, not allowing herself to believe Colin’s words. “Your brothers once thought they would never find love and they did.”
“I did find love, Pen,” Colin admitted, his shoulders slumping. Penelope’s heart stuttered. She wanted him to find love but she didn’t want to hear about it.
Colin reached forward and grasped Penelope’s hands in his. He held them up to his lips and pressed a lingering kiss on them.
“It’s you,” he said softly. Penelope gasped and tried to pull her hands away in shock. Colin held firm. “You are the woman I love, the only woman I have ever loved. I’ve spent the last two years trying to move on from you but I cannot. All the food I eat tastes like ash, the finest cuisine in France, the freshest seafood in the Mediterranean. I have not even looked at another woman in years. There is not a moment where I don’t think of you.”
“Oh, Colin,” Penelope sobbed, feeling tears spill onto her cheeks. Colin let go of one of her hands to wipe away her tears with his thumb.
“I am sorry to overwhelm you,” he said softly as he took a step forward. “I understand if you do not return my feelings but I had to tell you, the idea of you not knowing has weighed on me for years.”
“I understand more than you know,” Penelope laughed, bringing her free hand up to help Colin swipe at the tears on her face. “I have loved you since the moment we met.”
Colin gaped at her. His hand drifted to the back of her neck and he held her firmly. “Are you jesting?”
Penelope shook her head. “The moment you laughed after falling off that horse I knew. I knew I would spend my life loving you.”
A beaming smile broke out over Colin’s face. He brought her hand up to his mouth and laid an open kiss on her palm. He dragged her hand up until her palm cupped his cheek as he let out a relieved laugh.
Penelope couldn’t help but laugh along with him. A weight felt as if it was being lifted from her shoulders. She had spent half her life loving him in secret and would get to spend the rest of her life loving him openly.
“Please let me kiss you, Pen,” Colin begged as he nuzzled his nose into Penelope’s hand. “I have waited so long until I could kiss you again. Not an hour goes by where I don’t think about the kisses we shared.”
“Please kiss me, Colin,” Penelope replied. As soon as she finished speaking, Colin reached to grab her waist, pulling her against his body. His lips descended on hers, pressing against them desperately.
Their first kiss had been sweet. The next time they kissed was pure passion. This was something else entirely.
Penelope felt her whole body come alive when Colin kissed her. She wound her hands into his hair, causing him to moan into her mouth. His arms wrapped around her tightly, holding her so hard that he almost lifted her off the ground, as if he was scared she would disappear again like she did that night after the carriage.
Colin pulled back, pressing his forehead against hers.
“Don’t say no again,” he pleaded, his eyes still closed, his hands gripping her dress.
“I won’t,” Penelope whispered, cradling his face in her hands.
Colin opened his eyes then and Penelope’s heart broke seeing the uncertainty in them.
“Please marry me, Pen,” Colin croaked, almost trembling with nerves.
“Yes,” Penelope said before pressing another kiss to Colin’s mouth.
—
The following morning, Colin met Penelope at her bedroom door before breakfast.
“You are not wasting any time, are you?” She teased as Colin pressed a soft kiss to the back of her hand. She felt the blush spread over her cheeks as he peered up at her through his thick lashes.
“You’ll find it difficult to be far from me now, my love,” Colin replied with a beaming smile.
Penelope’s heart skipped a beat at his term of endearment.
“Good,” she replied. “I plan on being as close to your side as you’ll allow me.”
Colin’s chest puffed up at her words, making her heart swell. It was truly remarkable the effect that she found her words had on him. After decades of loving him silently, she was thrilled to be able to express her emotions loudly.
Colin offered Penelope his arm and she didn’t hesitate to place her hand on the crook of his elbow.
“Are you ready?” He asked as he led them through the winding corridors of Aubrey Hall.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Penelope replied with a shrug. “I am so excited to marry you but it’s been a quiet few years for me, I fear I may not be up to the attention.”
“Just focus on me,” Colin advised, placing his free hand on hers. “We will get through this announcement and then next week, we shall be wed.”
Penelope couldn’t help but laugh at Colin’s eagerness. “I do not believe anything we did last night would lead to a special licence.”
“I cannot be apart from you long enough to read the banns,” Colin pouted. “If Anthony puts up a fuss, I will simply strongly advise that we might not need a special licence now but the longer we wait, the more likely it will be that we anticipate our vows.”
“Quite sure of yourself, there,” Penelope teased, a blush spreading across her cheeks.
“Trust me, I remember the carriage fondly and have for many years. Those memories have kept me company on many lonely nights,” Colin said slyly as they approached the door of the dining room. He paused at the closed door and glanced around, ensuring that they were alone. Colin leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to Penelope’s lips before pulling back with a smirk.
Penelope couldn’t help but beam up at him. She felt like she was living in a dream.
Colin pressed one final kiss to the crown of her hair before pushing the dining room doors open. The Bridgertons were already seated, chatting away with each other. Suddenly Penelope felt a surge of nerves well up within her, knowing everything was about to change.
Colin snaked his hand to Penelope’s lower back and pushed her forward, sensing her hesitation.
“It will be alright,” he whispered in her ear, his warm breath brushing past her ear. She couldn’t help but shutter at the sensation, the nerves giving way to anticipation. In just a few short weeks, this man - the man she had been in love with since she was a teenager - would be her husband. Every morning he would wake her up by whispering good morning into her ear, touching her lower back and they would spend their days together in bliss.
“Family!” Colin shouted, gathering the attention of the Bridgertons. Penelope could see the mix of confused faces and knowing smirks among the family as they took in the duo. Colin’s hand was still pressed against Penelope’s back, running soothing lines down it, far outside the realm of priority. “It is my absolute pleasure to announce that we are engaged!”
Silence stretched amongst the group for a moment before Benedict jumped in, saying, “it’s about time!”
Colin glared at his older brother, tugging Penelope closer to him.
Anthony stood, throwing his napkin onto the table in front of him. He waltzed up to Colin and Penelope, giving Benedict a playful smack on the back of his head as he walked passed. Anthony grabbed Colin’s shoulder tightly and gave him a smile that he reserved for when he was proud of his younger siblings. “Congratulations, brother,” Anthony said softly before turning towards Penelope. “Penelope, you have been a member of this family for well over a decade but it is an honour to welcome you officially.”
Tears welled up in Penelope’s eyes. Before she could thank Anthony, Oliver and Amanda launched themselves at her, wrapping their arms around her waist.
“We are so happy for you, Miss Penelope,” Oliver said, his face pressed against Penelope’s shoulder.
“Does this mean you’re going to leave us?” Amanda asked softly.
Penelope felt her heart crack a little. Though she was thrilled to be marrying Colin, she hated to leave Oliver and Amanda who had already suffered so much loss in their young lives.
“We will not be far,” Colin reassured Amanda, placing a loving hand on her shoulder. “I have procured a house very near to your home. I suspect your Aunt Penelope and I will be by so often that you’ll be sick of us before too long.”
“We have?” Penelope gasped. She didn’t think it possible but she felt herself fall in love with Colin a little more.
“Ah, yes,” Colin said bashfully, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. “I was struggling being so far from you, I had thought even if you rejected me again I could at least be nearby and we could rekindle our friendship. Perhaps I would be able to convince you to accept my hand in time.”
“I am sorry to interject, but what does he mean by again?” Eloise exclaimed, turning quickly to look at Penelope.
“It’s a long story,” Penelope replied, not taking her eyes off Colin.
Eloise swiveled to look at Phillip. “Did you know about this?!” She exclaimed.
Phillip looked bashful and shrugged. “Someone had to inspect the houses for Colin. You have been so tired, my love, I do not believe you even realized.”
Eloise’s jaw dropped. “And you knew about Colin and Penelope?” She pressed.
“It appears that I have a secret gift for relationship advice,” Phillip smirked before wrapping an arm around Eloise’s shoulders and drawing her to his side. “We are very happy for you both!”
“You asked Phillip for relationship advice?” Penelope asked, looking up at Colin who flushed under her gaze.
“I was getting desperate,” He muttered.
Penelope flushed as she smiled up at him. She was still taken aback to know how much this man she had loved for so long loved her back. To think of him, rakish and experienced as he was, furiously scribbling to his shy brother-in-law for love advice just endeared him to her more.
As each Bridgerton approached the newly engaged couple to embrace them, Penelope’s heart swelled. To think she would be able to be an official member of this family, not just a best friend or an employee or a beloved neighbour but an actual Bridgerton was more than she could have ever hoped.
—
As Colin had hoped, they were able to get a special licence. Anthony had agreed that the couple had beaten around the bush for far too long to endure the reading of the banns. The Bridgerton family all agreed to remain at Aubrey Hall for an extra week in anticipation for the wedding.
The Featheringtons were summoned as well, all pouring in from London. Prudence had pouted slightly that Penelope wouldn’t be available to be the governess for her child.
Penelope didn’t have the heart to tell her sister that she had no plans on leaving the Crane residence had she never wed.
After the wedding, Colin and Penelope climbed into a carriage that was waiting to take them to their new residence. As Colin had promised Amanda, their new home was only a fifteen minute ride from Romney Hall.
Penelope settled back in the seat of the carriage, Colin’s large hand gripping her thigh as he studied her.
“You know,” he drawled, running his hand up and down her thigh lightly. Colin leaned in, using his other hand to tilt Penelope’s jaw towards him. “It’s a much longer journey to our new home than our previous carriage ride.”
Penelope hummed good naturedly. “If only we could find a way to pass the time,” she teased.
Colin grinned at her. “I can think of something we could do.”