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I’m currently standing amongst a scene of complete devastation; the casualty rate is an astounding ninety seven percent and the survivors have just come under renewed bombardment by the construct forces of the Bearded Assholes Reunification Front. At this time there is no known motive for the B.A.R.F. to have joined in what until now was a small factional skirmish. We are live with Major potter of the 7th Hogwarts irregulars.
“Major, how has this unexpected assault changed the face of the ongoing conflict?”
“Well Mis Lovegood, to say the change is drastic is an understatement, with this unacceptable entry into what was heretofore an internal conflict, we have put aside our differences to defend our beloved courtyard. The 13th Slytherin Air Cav has agreed to join forces in a reconnaissance role and both the 1st Hufflepuff engineers and 21st Ravenclaw signals brigade are currently hastily reinforcing our defensive line.”
“Major Potter, even with this suspension of hostilities between your countrymen can you withstand this aggression?”
“We are about to find out Miss Lovegood, we are about to find out!”
This is Luna Lovegood reporting for W.A.R.R – what is it good for! And this new conflict can truly only be called a "Nightmare Before Christmas."
