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“Seville. You’re outta here”.
Alvin tensed, sliding off of the cement brick bench of their local county sheriffs department , watching wearily as the appointed officer unlocked the gate and slid it open. It completely ignored the fact that Alvin, with his chipmunk size, could slip out through the bars if he truly wanted to, but whatever. He’s a bit too off his usual mark and a tad scared straight by this encounter to even try out any smart remarks on his way to the front desk.
He almost can’t believe it’s come to this. But he was already on thin ice with Dave this week for throwing a party that had only gotten a tad out of hand. And Alvin really wasn’t trying to get grounded again so near the weekend. It was a last resort, if anything. It didn’t mean anything!
Ian Hawke leans his earpiece away from his mouth, and nods at the sheriff. “I’ve got him. Thanks”.
The sheriff nods, and accepts the paperwork that Ian signs and slides over across the desk. He watched the sheriff round the corner deeper into the station and smirked.
“Well well well, look who came crawling back”. He remarks, leaning against the desk and raising an eyebrow at the chipmunk below him.
Alvin scowled, and scuffed his shoe against the ground, hoping the dizziness in his mind would clear up sooner rather than later. “Yeah yeah, listen. Can we p-please talk about this in the car. In private”. He pauses, ears flickering for the tale tell sound of camera flashes and relaxed when none were heard. “I’m assuming there’s no paparazzi lurking around?”.
“For Gods sakes, what do you think I am, some kind of amateur?”. He checks his wristwatch and nods. “And hello, we’re in LA, there’s always paparazzi lurking. If we’re fast we’ll be fine. Come on”.
Ian starts towards the door but Alvin doesn’t take a step, instead feigning ignorance and checking over the rings on his fingers. He typically used human nose rings, they were the only jewelry small enough that worked and had the exact luster he liked.
Ian, sensing his halted movement turned around. “You coming?”. He asked somewhat sarcastically,
Alvin raised an eyebrow and gestured down at himself. “Hello? I’m a w-walking attention magnet!”. It was true. He’d been at a party, and it wasn’t his fault that the theme had been neon night but his neon green pants, bright pink tank top, and white fluorescent jacket was a dead give away of his location. Add that to his height, and he’d be spotted immediately and trending on Twitter within mere minutes of leaving the building.
Then he’d really be in for it.
Ian huffed but leaned down anyways, coming to a crouch while swearing under his breath, leaning on a wall for support as he allowed Alvin to scamper up and tuck himself into his suit pocket.
“I am getting way too old for this”. Ian groans as he stands back up, his bones giving an embarrassingly loud crack as he did so.
“Funny”. Alvin comments. “Dad said the exact same thing the other day”.
Ian doesn’t respond to that, exiting the station and striding across the parking lot and into his fancy looking car in record time. Alvin easily hopped out of Ian’s pocket and into the passenger seat, with a sigh of relief, stumbling only a little in the process.
“Oh my god, you really did get drunk, didn’t you?”. Ian is looking at him with an expression mixed of shock and amusement.
“I didn’t mean to! It’s hard to remember how much conversion rates you are when you’re three shots in!”. Alvin snarked. “Being the same height as the shot glass didn’t help”.
“As long as you don’t puke in my car, I don’t care”.
“What do you think I am, some kind of amateur?”. Alvin bites back Ian’s earlier snide remark, fumbling to buckle his seatbelt.
Ian shakes his head, starting up the car, but apparently he does care a bit, because he can’t stop himself from asking questions. He’s always been nosy. “I always figured you’d be the one with the party boy reputation”. He says suddenly. “But, why call me? And not Dave?”.
Alvin huffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m on thin ice with dad right now, and I cannot get grounded before this weekend. Big beginning of the year junior party. And I didn’t have that many options for adults I could call”. He crossed his arms over the seatbelt, feeling as petulant as he had all those years ago when he was eleven and would talk to Ian.
He hardly ever interacted with them now anyways. The last time had been the loaded congratulations basket he’d sent sometime after Dave had legally adopted them all, but Dave had simply rolled his eyes and informed them that Ian had his secretary’s automatically send those out anytime someone connected to him in any way, had any major life change. The same generic message printed on the card every time, with his signature copy and pasted right below it.
They’d still taken the chocolates and gift cards anyways though, because why not?.
They had all had their issues with him sure, but he had changed- though sometimes it was harder to notice. Alvin still had to restrain the urge to still call him uncle Ian half the time, it was so instinctual even after all that had happened . He was sure the alcohol in his system wasn’t helping matters either.
“Mhmm. And what do I get out of this?”. Ian asks, as they turn down a street, and Alvin halfheartedly noticed that he didn’t seem to need the directions.
“A percentage of my merch revenue for a year”.
Ian tilts his head. “What percentage? And don’t even think about saying a single digit. Considering you want me to keep my mouth shut about this to your daddy”.
“20%”.
“80%”
“25%”
“85%”.
Alvin scoffed. “Alright. 50%. And I’ll throw in the royalty revenue from a few commercials. Take it or leave it”.
Ian hummed nonchalantly. “Deal. I suppose that’s fair. Even if it’s only for a year. I’m only letting you off so easy because you’re sort of my nephew”. He says nephew in a joking sort of tone but it still sends a shudder through Alvin’s fur anyways and makes his ears press down against his head with irritation.
His own damn uncle was seriously blackmailing him?! The guy, who was the probably the reason he had some form of claustrophobia, of the occasional nightmare of being caged. His life really was weird, wasn’t it?
Without hesitation Ian spoke. “You aren’t half bad at bargaining”.
“Yeah, well I had a lot of time to think about what to offer in exchange for your silence when I was sitting in that jail cell”. Alvin answers with a sour tone.
“You didn’t think to pull the ‘ don’t you know who I am?’ card ?”. Ian asks genuinely, sneaking a glance at Alvin from the corner of his eye.
“Thought about it. But then they definitely would’ve called dad for sure”. He waved it off. “It’ll be fine, I’ll tell him eventually. Just gotta let it blow over first”.
“What’d you do to get on thin ice anyways?”.
Alvin groaned, turning away. “It’s so stupid”.
“Well I wanna hear it anyways. I’m nosey like that”.
Alvin sinks further into his seat, ears still pressed down with embarrassment, before he confessed. “I got caught, smoking”.
“Woah! That’s a big no-no”. Ian snorts, and shakes his head. “Yeah, I get why he flipped. A bit hypocritical though, he used to hit the old smoke when we were younger”.
Alvin nearly does a double take. “He what!? You’re lying!”.
Ian laughs again, a small amount of fondness leaking into it. “No I’m serious. The man has always been a walking ball of stress, so when I offered back in college he’d usually say yes. Most musicians try it at least once yknow”.
“That’s such bullshit!”. Alvin scowled, ears pressed down against his head again, this time in frustration. “Then why’d he get so mad at me?”.
Ian rolls his eyes, flicking the turn signal button as they stopped at a red light. “He cares about you, idiot. He doesn’t want you going down some stereotypical rockstar dark road of drugs and drinking. Benders are always fun until they aren’t”. He grimaced like he spoke from experience but continued on before Alvin could question it. “So how was it?”.
“What?”.
“The smoking, idiot? Did you like it?”.
Alvin thinks about lying for half a second, just out of pettiness, but he can’t bring himself to. “Nah. It was actually really gross. I couldn’t stop coughing for like, an hour after”.
“Good. Taught yourself a lesson. Just tell him that. He’s just looking out for you, in his own weird overprotective lame way”.
They finally pull onto his street, and Ian parks at two houses down. “To be inconspicuous”. He says, and Alvin nods. There’s a bit of an awkward air as he unbuckles his seat belt and clambers out the open window, sliding across the hood of the car and somehow- despite his drunken stupor- managing to not fall flat on his face.
Ian is watching out of the corner of his eye, just obviously enough that Alvin feels slightly safer about having to walk a few houses down in the dark.
“Umm…”. He hesitates but blurts out before he can stop himself. “Thanks, Uncle Ian!”. He says with a tinge of sarcasm- and something akin to word vomit -before striding off as nonchalantly as possible, ignoring the occasional sway from dizziness and the beginning of fall chill from the nearing start of the school year, as he tucks his paws into his jacket pocket.
He’s intent on not looking back, and therefore misses the genuine look of surprise that appears on Ian’s face.
Then Alvin turns and pukes into a nearby bush.
Great, Actual vomit.
Ian’s laughter can be heard from the car, and Alvin flips him off without looking back, before slipping in through the houses front door mail slot.
-
When Alvin follows his Twitter the next morning, Ian doesn’t do much more than smile into his coffee.
-/-
Simon Seville was mentally playing a game of chess against himself in his mind, shifting uncomfortably on the hard bench of the police stations singular cell and checking his watch again for the fourth time in the past hour.
Night takes Rook.
Maybe he should’ve just called Dave. He’d be grounded for a while, but at least he wouldn’t be sitting here in a cell like some sort of lowbrow criminal. It felt quite demoralizing to be sitting on cold concrete with nothing to do but agonizingly wait.
Pawn takes Pawn.
“Seville. You’re free to go.
Simon jolts up, adjusting his glasses, straightening out his sweater vest, and giving a cursory nod to the officer as he stands. He kindly doesn’t point out that his smalls size renders the cell door being unlocked and opened entirely unnecessary. He was able to slip out through the bars if he truly wanted to leave. Though he doubts that would result in anything favorable for him.
Ian looks impatient, tapping his foot as he signs the last of some paperwork and gets waved off by the officer working the front desk. He sends the woman a glare but spots Simon before he can say anything that would most likely get him sat in the same cell Simon had just been occupying.
“Hey, smart guy”. He says in lieu of a proper greeting, tone dripping with sarcasm. “Let’s roll, I’ve got a meeting in half an hour and I cannot be late”. He turns to leave but stopped suddenly with an annoyed groan, as he sank into an unsteady crouch holding his hand out. He seemed embarrassed to be doing the action at all.
Simon raised an eyebrow. He’s aware of his drastically different than normal height, meaning that exiting a police station in L.A in broad daylight guaranteed at least someone spotting him, and probably a tabloid article about it all. He just hadn’t expected Ian to offer a solution. Much less being dignified enough to offer up this one. Still he stuffed down his hesitation and scampered up onto the producers hand, allowing himself to be placed in Ian’s suit jacket pocket.
The walk to Ian’s car is in silence. Awkward silence if you asked Simon, but everything was awkward to him so he’s not got much to go off of.
He climbed into into the passenger seat, dragging the large buckle across his lap while sneaking a glance over to where Ian was doing the same and soon enough they were on the road.
“So, what’d you do?”.
“Pardon?”.
“You don’t just get put in a cell for no reason. So spill. Don’t worry I’m not wearing a wire”. He chuckled at his own joke and Simon frowned.
“It wasn’t even that big of a fire”. He muttered, and tensed at Ian’s double take. So he turned to look out the window instead of at the man in the drivers seat. Or as much out of the window as he could see with his short stature.
“Fire? I thought I saw arson on those papers but I was just skimming ‘em to be honest. And here I thought your older brother was the rebel in the family”. A sly grin spread across his face at Simons flustered response to his statement.
Simon scoffed. “I am not some sort of low brow arsonist! I was practicing an experiment with some friends from science club and things just got a bit…”. He winced. “Explosive”.
“Mhmm”. Ian paused at a red light. “And you didn’t call Dave because?”.
“I’m on my third strike with Dad. And with the school”. The chipmunk scowled, pushing his thick dark rimmed glasses up. “You blow up the science lab twice and suddenly you’re on behavioral probation”.
And it had truly been an accident, chemicals weren’t always 100% reliable for stability. Sometimes the equation leveled out. Other times… well let’s just say it was a good thing they could afford lavish donations to the high school or he and his brothers probably would’ve long been expelled by now with all the chaos that tended to follow them. Alvin alone had probably funded an entire new gymnasium on the west side of the campus.
Though the newly soot covered science lab would probably require some serious deep cleaning rather than being entirely rebuilt… unlike the last time this had happened. He was just glad he bothered to remember to wear safety goggles and a lab coat, or he’d be forced to scrub soot from his fur all afternoon and trim off burnt edges of fur. Not that he was speaking from experience…
“Well, just glad to see you aren’t as boring as you look”. Ian almost sounded proud of Simon’s unintentional rebelliousness, weirdly enough. “How come it was just you in that cell then? And none of your buddies?”.
Simon crossed his arms. “I took the blame for all of it. I’m club president, it’s my responsibility”.
“Ah, there’s the stick in the mud I remember”. Ian lazily flicked the turn signal on. Simon vaguely wondered how he knew the route to take, as the Seville family had moved more than once since Ian had ever been their uncle.
Simon adjusted his glasses again and decided not to comment on it. “To be honest I’m surprised you even showed up”.
Ian smirked. “You and me both”. He chuckled, jerking the wheel to the right as he glanced down at his car clock to check the time. “Guess I’ve still got a soft spot for you guys, even after everything”.
Simon frowns at the thought of cages, forced touring, and the straight back to back weeks of exhaustion that he remembered from being eleven, but shakes the memories away. That had been years ago. Sure, Ian had gone full on control freak on their lives… But they were all working on moving past that, with the help of dad and many in-depth therapy sessions. And Simon had trusted Ian just enough to call him today.
“Well, thank you..for picking me up”. Simon said, somewhat awkwardly, fiddling with his paws as the car slowed to a stop. Ian shrugged, adjusting his glasses in the mirror, but the grin on his face- while small - was less of a smirk and more of a smile and actually seemed somewhat genuine. “Don’t read too much into it kid”.
Simon unbuckled his seatbelt and paused. “Wait, how do you know our current address-“.
“Meeting remember! Hurry it up, Chop chop, gotta go!”. Ian ushered him out of the vehicle, loudly unlocking the car doors, and Simon moved to get out, ear twitching in slight agitation at being brushed off. He didn’t even hasten to say goodbye, as he scampered to the front door and after a moment of fumbling with his keys, inside the house.
Still as he watched Ian peel away from the curb a moment later, Simon felt a little bit lighter.
-/-
Theodore Seville was not in a jail cell.
Though he’d argue this was almost worse.
The rule of threes surprisingly did not apply for once. He’d heard snippets here or there from his brothers- in between Alvin complaining about being grounded for smoking pot, and Simon complaining about having to stay after school to help clean up the recently exploded science lab- about their recent interactions with their old uncle Ian.
He hadn’t planned on having one himself. He was ‘the sweet one’ after all. Kind and thoughtful Theodore. The one who always did fan birthday shout-outs online, or volunteered for charity work. Nobody would ever suspect that he’d get into half the trouble his older brothers did.
…Yet here he was, months after his brothers interactions, sitting dejectedly in the principals office. And waiting for the arrival of someone he hadn’t properly seen or talked to in years.
The office’s main door opened with a loud tingling bell above it, and Ian entered the room as theatrically as always. He seemed to naturally take up space wherever he went and this situation was no different. “Alright where’s the culprit?”.
Theodore’s shoulders hunched up to his ears, which were pointed down in embarrassment, as the school secretary eyed Ian up and down before gesturing towards the chipmunk in the chair that was far too large for him.
“You’re his guardian?”. She asks warily, and Ian flashed a tabloid ready smile her way.
“The paperwork is bit outdated but yes. Me and his father go way back. College buddies, actually. Known these little guys for years! I can call him if you need further confirmation”. He already had his phone slid out of his pocket and made a show of tapping it just a few times. “Got him on speed dial. We’re like this”. He crossed his pointer and index fingers together. “Though he’s probably already knee deep in meetings right now, I doubt he’ll answer. Which is why I’m sure I was called instead. Parenting am I right-“.
”That’s quite alright.” The secretary interrupted his spiel with a grin that seemed much too forced. “Just sign here and you can be on your way”. She slid the paperwork his way and Ian tucked his phone away.
“Alright then”.
As Ian signed a few signatures the secretary sent a pointed look at Theodore who winced.
”We have a very strict no tolerance policy for violence at this school, so please informed his father that while he’ll only receive a weeks detention for this incident, next time the punishment will be much more severe!”.
Ian nodded sagely. “Of course. That is a perfectly reasonable policy. I’ll make sure to pass it along. And you”. He nodded his head towards Theodore as he simultaneously picked up the papers he needed to take and moved towards the door. “Will be getting a stern talking to from me as well! You have a nice day ma’am”.
And with that Theodore follows Ian lamely out of the office and down the school steps. Classes have been dismissed for over an hour at this point so it’s quite empty on the school grounds aside from students with extracurriculars waiting on rides and the occasional teacher leaving the building behind without a second glance.
Theodore glanced at Ian nervously but neither of them said a word until they were both in the car, Ian turning the radio on before he reversed out of his spot and began driving out of the parking lot. Theodore purposefully ignored the gnawing anxiety in his stomach at being alone in a car with Ian again. The last time that had happened he and his brothers had been stuffed into a cage.
“So…”. Ian finally starts a few minutes after they’ve left the highschool out of sight behind them. “What did you do?”.
Theodore hesitated, dreading the question. He would already have to answer to Dad, he really didn’t want a run through of the lecture he’d be getting later. “I.. I got in a fight”. He says in a meek tone.
”What?”. Ian immediately whips his head towards him with a raised eyebrow, then quickly looks back at the road, swearing as he turns the wheel to be firmly in his lane. A car honks loudly behind them.
”You got in a fight?”. Ian asks incredulously.
Theodore slowly nodded.
Ian frowned. “You don’t have a scratch on you? What on earth is your generation considering a fight these days?.”
”I’m not the one who got beat up”. The chipmunk says sullenly.
It’s silent for a moment before Ian asks. “You won a fight?”. Ian with his tone full of astonishment. “How? I thought you were supposed to be the nice one?”.
Theodore sheepishly extended the claws on his left paw, looking as guilty as he felt, and sheathed them immediately afterwards. “It just kinda happened on instinct! By the time I realized it was too late. I normally would never! I just- I got so mad! That guy, he was picking on one of the freshman. And not just normal teasing, but he was shoving them into a locker and saying these.. these awful things!”. Theodore remembers the incident from a few hours ago crystal clear.
The empty halls and freshman’s ignored pleads to be let go and left alone, as they were being shoved and berated for no particular reason by a fellow student who towered over them. Theodore remembers the feeling, he’d experienced the exact same thing years ago when he’d first started middle school. He remembers the feeling of his blood boiling as he watched. As no one around did anything to stop the bully. By the time he was charging at the bully, claws out, he’d barely remembered to hold back from scratching too deep.
He doubted the Bully’s would have any scars, but the dramatic performance had landed Theodore in the hot seat more than him. Without the bullying victims account of the story- they’d taken off as soon as they’d been let go from the bully’s tight grip on their collar and Theodore didn’t blame them- Theodore knew he wasn’t gonna be able to untwist the lies the bleeding bully had spewed to the schools nurse and afterwards to the principal. The only thing saving him from a sentence more severe than detention had been his previous spotless record.
“ How could someone just go around doing that to people?”. Theodore sighed forlornly.
The chipmunk seemed genuinely disheartened as the state of the cruelty of other teenagers and Ian felt the barest hint of sympathy. He’d been a teenager once, a lifetime ago it seemed now, and he hadn’t exactly been a nice one. But he’d had a natural inherent understanding from a very young age that other kids were often awful. The youngest Seville, however seemed to not have fully recognized that particular life lesson quite yet.
“Well, at least you won the fight?”. Ian smirked. “Left that asshole a good scar I’m hoping”.
Theodore groaned, hiding his face in his paws. “Oh god, please don’t say that! I already feel awful enough!”. He fought the urge to tug his hoodie up over his head and hide for the rest of his life.
“Why didn’t you call Dave?”. Ian asked, for the third time in his recent memory.
Theodore wilted, his ears going flat against his head in shame. “I couldn’t call Dad! He would be so disappointed! He’s busy at work. And I’m the one who’s supposed to never get into trouble!”. He sniffled, wiping at his face with his hoodie sleeve.
“Dad says that you shouldn’t need fists to win a fight”.
Trying to resist rolling his eyes- and immediately failing-Ian signaled to turn left, and found himself on the all too familiar route to the Seville household. He’d made this trip twice already now. Third time was the charm, right?
“You’re a teenager”. Ian shrugged. “Hate to break it to ya kid, but getting into trouble is all you guys do. Not the first time, and it certainly won’t be the last. Even if your brothers do it more often than you”.
“And you did a good thing, being all.. heroic? If I know Dave, and considering I’ve known him since we’re college roommates, I do. He’ll be more proud than anything else. Probably go into one of those sappy sitcom dad speeches like it’s a very special episode from the 80s. Blegh”. He stuck his tongue out in faux disgust. Well, it was probably real disgust. He couldn’t stand sappy nonsense like that, but Dave Seville was bursting at the seems with it, even back when they were in college together. And even more so since he’d taken three chipmunks into his life.
“You really think so?”. Theodore asked hopefully, still wiping at his face.
Ian rolled his eyes. “Yeah. And Dave’s awful at staying mad at you guys anyways. I’m sure it’ll be fine”.
Somehow that did reassure Theodore. Just a bit. Enough for him to pull himself together at least. He found himself somewhat thankful that Ian had showed up.
All too soon they were pulling up in front of the Seville’s two story house, Ian’s big high class car standing out amongst the suburban streets driveways filled with minivans. Ian gave a lazy two fingered salute to Theodore as he unbuckled his seat belt.
Theodore squinted at him before nodded, and a genuine smile came onto the chipmunks face. “Thank you. For the save back there”.
Ian seemed to have no expected such a genuine thanks, the CEO stumbling over his words before waving the conversation off. “Don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t. I have a reputation. Good luck with your.. Dave”. He says, and then pointedly unlocked the doors to the car.
Theodore grins to himself as he scurried out of the vehicle, and grins a bit more when he notices that Ian’s car hadn’t pulled away. He doesn’t hear the sound of tires until he’s fully inside the house. He knows he’ll have to tell Dad, unlike his brothers who’d managed to get away with their Ian interactions in secret. But the gnawing feeling of anxiety had dissipated throughout the car ride with Ian without Theodore fully noticing. Enough for him to listen to the rumble of his stomach and head to the kitchen for a snack. He was nervous still, yes. But not fearful. He cracked open a bag of cheeseballs, hoping it would absolve more of the anxiety he still felt.
It was odd, he thought while tossing a cheese ball into his mouth, to associate Ian with anything resembling helpfulness, but here he was doing just that.
-
The rule of threes had somewhat been fulfilled, by an awkward but earnest interaction between the arrogant CEO and the now teenaged chipmunks who’d once entirely detested each other. What they held for each other now, well it couldn’t be said for sure.
But it would seem that both sides were slowly but surely changing their minds on the matter.