Chapter Text
Izuku fucking Midoriya is bone-crushingly, soul-smashingly, indubitably…straight. Of course, Katsuki doesn’t have a problem with that. What kind of hero would he be if he judged people for something as small as who they go to fucking bed with?
No. The problem with Izuku Midoriya being straight is—
Katsuki Bakugo is not.
Denial.
“I’m gay.”
Katsuki thought his heart was gonna fucking explode out of his chest and Considering his body regularly experiences explosions coming from inside of it daily…The sheer similar feeling ricocheting inside his rib cage at the current moment makes it twice as concerning.
It wasn’t like today was a special day or anything. Just a normal weekend. The rest of the idiots are off-campus doing something too loud and annoying for Katsuki and too public for Deku. They're studying for nothing, no exam or final. It's just mindless sharing notes and flipping through textbooks when Katsuki finally says it.
It had been on his mind a lot recently, especially since these ‘studying for nothing’ sessions have been happening more frequently. He knew he needed to tell Deku. Deku knows everything about him always has and he—thought he knew everything about the nerd as well.
There wasn’t a doubt in Katsuki’s mind that Izuku Midoriya was bisexual. Like the sky is blue, All-Might is the best hero to ever live…Izuku Midoriya likes boys—and girls (fucking pink cheeks…)
Katsuki's resolve in this is only heightened when a head of green hair is thrust into his face,
“Oh my god! Kacchan! That's—wow! I support you! Obviously—”
Obviously. The sheer certainty in that. The way he didn’t bat an eye. Katsuki can only think it's because Deku’s mind has been swirling with the same annoying thought about— guys, like his for a while now.
He can only imagine the other has probably had the same amount of sleepless nights huddled over his phone or laptop in the quiet of the dorms, or hell, even his childhood bedroom. Taking embarrassing quiz after quiz. ‘Am I gay?’ but choosing the options you know will tell you you're not. Watching countless hours of coming out videos on YouTube with the volume almost on zero…
“It’s whatever, nerd.” Katsuki knows he can’t shrug this off like the many other ‘harder’ topics and conversations they have had in recent years, but he still tries anyway.
He doesn’t care that Izuku knows he is gay per say—that is not what keeps him up most nights, tossing and turning with worry—fear.
Once he accepted that he liked guys, it was fine. Accepting he likes—a certain guy. A fucking green-haired nerd who is still hugging him—was hard. But he has accepted it and he has come to terms that it's mutual. Obviously.
They don’t talk about Katsuki’s coming out further that day. They both shed a few not-so-well-hidden tears but go back to their not studying easily enought. The idiots come back to the dorms. Deku gets pulled away by his parade of idiots at some point and things pretty much stay the same…Until Kaminari comes out.
“Bye—?”
“Bisexual—-” Pikachu clarifies for Deku who, for the first time in Katsuki’s life looks rather confused.
For a split second, the thinks the other blonde mistakes it for non-acceptance, but Katsuki and Kaminari seemingly both come to the compulsion at the same time…Izuku Midoriya doesn’t know what being ‘bisexual’ means.
Katsuki’s world implodes.
He thought for a moment he just—misread the nerd and fucking pink cheeks interactions, that maybe Deku was one of those guys who is just—gay but detached from the community…not unlike Katsuki himself but on a higher level.
“I’ve heard of that…but, I’m not super knowledgeable about that kinda thing…I accept you of course thought! Obviously!”
Not fucking Obviously! Katsuki wants to punch himself in the face for being so stupid. Izuku Midoriya has no fucking clue what his sexuality is?
“Thanks, Midobro! It means I like girls and guys! I figured since Kacchan here was so brave, I might as well follow in his footsteps.”
“Fuck off.” Katsuki stands from the couch to go back to his room, “And congradu-fucking-lations, dunce-face, or whatever.” Even if Katsuki's heart feels like it was just shattered into a million pieces, he can’t pretend he isn’t feeling some sort of way about not being the only out person in his class anymore, Even if it is fucking Kaminari Denki.
He goes to his room and cries. He was so sure, and now he isn’t and now—he isn’t sure about anything. He likes guys—a guy. Izuku. He knows he doesn’t like girls, that much has been obvious since his obsession with All-Might has been there since he could fucking breathe. But, Really liking a guy, in the flesh who was actually attainable and not well–All-Might…It’s only been Izuku and the thought of the other possibly not being able to like him back in that way, hurts.
So he cries himself to sleep a few times. Rewatches a few of his favorite coming-out videos, the ones that helped him tell the class, and his mom and—the person he is trying not to think about.
He rewatches Spiderman (the Tom Holland ones because, duh! ) and that helps him immensely remember that he is gay for men outside of the Midoriya family….
He moves on, Or at least he pretends he does. He finds Kaminari’s eyes on him more than once now that he is paying attention. He pretends he feels some type of way about it besides awkward, he does nothing about it, however.
The weeks go by, shit happens—and then midterms come, and the ‘studying for nothing’ session that Katsuki has been avoiding to keep his facade of having moved on up is shattered because they weren’t just studying together for shits and giggles… that's one of the things he always had liked about the nerd, they motivate each other. The idiot brings out the best in Katsuki and he knows that. He doesn’t dodge Deku after class, they made a plan for after school the following day, in Katsuku’s dorm, to study.
“But how did you know?”
They study for all of ten minutes before Katsuki can’t take the nervous energy radiating off the damn—annoyingly cute ball of curls beside him. He forces Deku to spit it out. He wasn’t expecting this.
“I just knew, I don’t know.” lies . Katsuki thought for years he didn’t like anyone, guys or girls. Nights spent in his childhood room thinking he was broken…googling if nitroglycerin affects one's sex drive the first time he watched a stupid ass porno one of the shitheads he used to hang around with in middle school suggested.
“Kacchan, I’m serious I—” Izuku has Katsuki’s full attention. This is the first time since he came out that this has come up, his sexuality and more specifically how he came to know he likes guys. “Kaminari-kun is bisexual, and you're gay and—You guys clearly have thought about this alot and I just—haven't.”
“So, think about it.” Please. Please. Please. Katsuki chants in his head. Every false notion in his mind that he was ‘over this’ is thrown out the window at the small chance that Izuku could like guys—could be questioning his sexuality. He doesn’t mean to be so—cocky. But if the nerd likes guys at all—he can win. He can win his heart. He knows he can.
“I’ve tried but I have nothing to think about! The most I've done is—nothing. I mean…” Izuku bites his lip, and Katsuki raises an eyebrow—the nerd looks, shy. His cheeks are flushed and his lip is caught between his teeth, being anxiously squeezed to death. “I looked around the locker room during gym last week…”
“And?” Katsuki holds back his mild laughter. It’s textbook! Everyone he has seen online has talked about the locker room and wandering eyes. Fuck, Katsuki himself pretty much had an aneurysm the first time he saw Deku shirtless in said locker room their first year at U.A. He—grew, and Katsuki was not prepared….that day was hell for his in-denial mind at the time.
He feels—something twist inside him at the thought of the nerd feeling those same unsure thought right now, in this very moment. It was hard—-so hard. Katsuki wouldn’t wish a sexuality crisis on his worst enemy, let alone the Izuku fucking Midoriya.
“I’ve analyzed everyone in our class's bodies and their quirks for the last two years, Kacchan! I can’t see anything but statistics and data.” Katsuki can’t help but roll his eyes. “It’s the same with the girls.”
“Even pink cheeks?”
“Kacchan!” the way the nerd's ears darkened a few shades at the mention of Uraraka shouldn’t make Katsuki’s heart hurt as much as it does. “I just—-”
His lower lip is wedged between his teeth again and Katsuki can’t help but let his eyes linger on it for a few seconds—way too many seconds—shit.
“I think you already know what I’m gonna ask you…and you can totally say no! I understand it’s—It’s weird but you’re my oldest friend and I trust you and—-”
“Deku!”
“Will you kiss me!?” Katsuki’s mind blanks. Sputters—Runs out of oxygen.
“I haven’t kissed anyone, obviously.”
obviously.
“ But I do…know I react to Uraraka-san even if I don’t like her that way…Maybe I like girls more, or—I don’t know but I want to see how I feel and this seemed like the fastest way to figure it out and—
Katsuki can’t wait for the nerds' murmuring tangent to end naturally. He can’t think straight—he didn’t hear a word past the question. The words he has only heard a million times in his own fucking humiliating dreams and now—-in the flesh. Izuku’s lips are on his. It’s hard and messy and—
It’s over.
Izuku pulls away far too quickly for Katsuki's liking…Katsuki thinks he could never get tired of doing that. He already wants to go in, More. More. Mor—
“Huh…no. I don’t think—No. I know. I don’t think I like guys like that. Thanks, Kacchan.”
“Hah?” Katsuki—couldn’t have heard him right. What they just did was—magnetic. Fire-fucking-works and all that shit they say in the movies and Shojo manga!
“Sorry if that was weird, but at least it helped! I just knew…I guess you were right! So, where were we?” Katsuki has never hated being right all the fucking time more then he does in that moment.
Katsuki ‘studies’ with Izuku for a few hours. Blinking rapidly every time he feels the heat simmer behind his eyes. When the other finally leaves his room Katsuki doesn’t cry. He—He can’t.
Nobody just knows. It can’t be that simple…but, deep down he knows Izuku. He—He loves him for Christ's sake and he knows how analytical he can be. There is no doubt in his mind that Izuku Midoriya is done questioning his sexuality. He isn’t Bisexual. He isn’t gay. He is straight.
And it fucking hurts.