Chapter Text
It started in 2013. I never expected for it to happen, but it did.
On a Monday, Phil and I decided to go for a food run. His face lit up as we were in the cereal aisle, as he held up a box of cocoa puffs. I nodded with a smile, knowing it doesn’t matter if he buys it or not because mine will always be eaten. He dropped it into the cart and went along the aisles, looking for the essentials.
“Maybe we could buy some kale”
“Phil, we don’t eat kale”
“Yeah, but it has a lot of healthy benefits like ...nearly 3 grams of protein in just one cup of kale” he reads off the back of the package.
“That’s great Phil, but since when did we eat such ‘healthy food’?” I raise my eyebrow.
“We can always eat something new” Phil piped up.
I sigh and grab it out of his hands and dropping it into the cart. Great, a new food experiment. He is left with a satisfied grin on his face. Wow Phil, thanks.
As we go to the check-out, we are greeted by a young cashier with hair pulled back, and a nice smile. She scanned our items and got to the gummies that we regularly get. It’s become more of a habit, and we’re so used to it I guess I forgot that we actually got them. She glanced between me and Phil for a few seconds and I can sense the judgmental look on her face.
“Oh, they’re just so good, and Phil here really likes them. They have lions on them, so that’s fun” I try to explain, but my voice just kind of dies down with each word.
“That’s nice, cute” She smiles and exhales. That smile stays on her face as she sees Phil pay for the groceries. Phil pushes the cart away and I take the last groceries. She finally speaks up.
“That’s so nice that you cover for your boyfriend. My boyfriend wouldn’t do that, he’d just ignore me. You guys are so cute” Her head kind of does a little shake with that grin still on her face.
“Oh, no. He isn’t my boyf-”
“Honey, it’s ok. I’ve seen you two before here a few weeks ago, and I have to say the way he looks at you is very caring. You may not see it, but I do” She replies. I don’t know how to respond to her, as for when someone mistakes us for a couple they normally just apologize quietly and continue. But she didn’t believe me.
“Dan, are you coming?” I heard Phil’s voice.Turning around, I see his head poking from the doors. I walk over to him with the groceries.
“What was that all about?” Phil asked.
“Nothing” I replied. He seemed to brush it off, so I don't touch the topic. We walked back to our flat and I browsed Tumblr and Twitter, thinking of what to do on such a nice and warm day instead of wasting it indoors (though I normally do that everyday) I tweet out:
“What should we do today in this warm summer weather?”
Quickly I got replies back.
-Go to the London eye!
-Do the dance with no pants with Phil!
Yeah, no.
-I heard the park has this carnival here in London for the whole week. Maybe you two should go there?
Carnival? That would be fun. Hyde park was known for their activities, and maybe this one would be fun. I suggest it to Phil and he was happy to go. We packed our bags and went off.
We arrived around half an hour later because the tube was packed today. But as the slightly cooler afternoon air hit me after emerging from the stuffy underground, I was glad we went outside.
Phil first wanted to play some regular carnival games, and so we shot some basket balls and tries to knock down some milk bottles. As I was shooting balloons with a dart, (which I was getting quite good at) I heard Phil inhale quickly and almost squeak. I look over to him and see him putting on his puppy dog eyes. I spot what he oh so wanted. It was a giant lion with a nice shiny mane. It’s button eyes glistened a sleek black and it had a small smile knitted into it. I look down at the two remaining darts and think this may not be enough. I take out 5 more pounds for 3 more darts. I had to hit four balloons (including one big one) to win the lion.
I slip the dart into my fingers and with precision I pop one of the balloons. A second, third.
“Dan, you can do it” he said over my shoulder. I smiled at his encouragement. I miss the big balloon. My concentration goes on the last dart, my tongue slightly sticks out. I aim and throw the dart. The big balloon pops!
“Yes! We did it!” We both say it. We high five without making it a big flop. The man running the game took down the lion from the shelf and hands it to Phil. Phil hugs it tightly and shows off the lion.
“Look how pretty the lion is!” He exclaimed. His eyes were lit up with joy, his smile a cute crinkle as his tongue sticks out slightly like it always does when he gets excited. His blue eyes were just so happy, and this moment was just great. I wanted to lock it in a box to see it over and over again. He hugs me and starts talking about the lion’s new name. But even though I’m listening, I just keep looking at him. Phil was so happy, and that made me happy.
“Maybe we can go on a ride?” He suggests after we named the lion Harold. His naming animals and objects normal human names is so funny, I had to agree to it.
We decided to go on this rollercoaster that they made in just a few weeks. That scared me a bit, but I’m sure safety regulations in London would be good. Right?
I can’t change my mind as we were being strapped into the seat (Which isn’t as sexy as it sounds) and wait for it to start. It lurches forwards, and we start off rather slow. I thought maybe it won’t be so bad, but suddenly it stops. I quickly turn to Phil, who seems to be just as confused as I. Then his eyes go wide as he looks forward, so I look as well. The roller coaster drops from the hill we were on, and we all scream our lungs out. His surprised face made me laugh so much, I couldn’t breathe for a good 30 seconds.
Phil’s laugh rings out as the roller coaster halts and the metal seat belts we had on click off. We step out, slightly shaky as the adrenaline is still running through our body. Phil’s smile is still bright, and I suggest getting something to eat. The sun just starts setting, and I decide to get some ice cream. Phil gets a Vanilla and strawberry twist and I decide to get rocky road. He licks it carefully, then puts a thumbs up with a satisfied “Mmm”. His nose crinkles as he smiles. That’s what captivates me. His smile. Wait, it does? since when did I pay attention to that?
We walk with our ice creams in hand, and my mind starts thinking as Phil tells a story about a high school course he took. He is always engrossed in whatever story he tells, and almost knocking his ice cream out of his cone. As he finishes his story, it comes to a rather comfortable silence.
“Dan?”
“Yes, Phil?”
“Do you think there is something out there?” He points towards the sunset.
“What do you mean?”
“Like an afterlife, somewhere we would go when we would die?”
“I don’t know. Maybe something? It’s possible that we get to live on a different planet and discover different things in the universe” I suggest. He pauses for a moment as we walk out of the carnival grounds and onto the park trail.
“I like to think that when we do die, we get to experience different parts of time. For example I like sunsets, so I get to experience different sunsets from around the world” He speaks up.
“But wouldn’t you have to see all of the other times of the day?” I ask.
“Well yeah, but that’s what would make the sunsets extra special, because once I get to finally see it, I appreciate that it’s there because it always isn’t there” He explains. I smile at his response.
“You poetic dork” I say. He grins as he looks down.
My hand slowly moves away from my side, and carefully slip into his. I’m scared for a second that he would pull away, but his fingers lace into mine. His slightly cool hands from the ice cream are gentle. I don’t know what possessed me to do this, but it’s happening. My face seems to be warm with blush, and I look over at Phil who is grinning just like I. We hold our hands like that the whole walk home without saying a word.
I think I might be in love with Phil Lester.