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Fíli smiled, soft and indulgent, as he leant back in his seat, pint in one hand as the other rested on the back of Kíli’s chair. Kíli was gesticulating wildly, the alcohol in his system making his flailing arms more dangerous than usual to those sitting around him.
“I’m serious!” he practically wailed.
“Not everything is a video game, Kíli,” Ori said, words slightly muffled as he chewed on the straw in his Smirnoff Ice. Technically he wasn’t meant to be drinking, considering he was still a few months shy of his eighteenth, but Bofur had decided to bend the rules a little that night. He’d closed his pub to host Nori and Dwalin’s engagement party and was determined everyone had a good time, so with Dori’s permission Ori had ended up with a choice of alcopops for the night. After all, Nori and Bofur had reasoned, there’s more sugar than alcohol in them anyway.
“But this is!”
“How?” Ori challenged.
“Marriage is like a game because when you start it’s all new and you’re figuring out what controls do what, what buttons to push and which ones not to because when you’re walking around you wanna bring up the map not the damn inventory. But, yeah, so you’re figuring stuff out and the bosses are these massive problems that you’ve gotta find ways to get past. Some people just throw the controllers and say fuck it, I give up. Those are the one that get divorced. Now the others stick with it and beat the bad guys and gain massive experience for it which helps them level up…”
“Wait so instead of gaining years they gain, like, levels? So my parents haven’t had thirty years together but are actually on level thirty?” Gimli asked, swirling the dregs of his Strongbow. He wanted to get another one, but his dad had limited him to three and he really didn’t want to switch to soft drinks.
“Exactly!” Kíli beamed, sloshing his Kopparberg over his jeans. Fíli sighed, glad his jeans were so dark, that particular flavour was an absolute bitch to get out of clothing. “Anyway as you go up in levels things get a bit easier, you know how to move about, know how to tackle things. And when an absolute shit of an enemy turns up, a bitch of a problem, you have the experience to deal with it. True you might get pissed at it, you might swear and throw your controller away and turn the game off for a little bit. But you know you’ll go back, once you’ve calmed down and thought about it. You’ll go back and destroy that fucker and continue going about as usual. That is what marriage it,” Kíli nodded, pleased with himself he leant back in his chair, Fíli’s arm a warm line across his shoulders.
“Makes sense to me,” Gimli shrugged, absently sipping at his glass before grimacing, there was a reason you didn’t drink the dregs.
“No, it’s not a computer game,” Ori argued, straw still firmly clamped in his teeth, the plastic tube made rather redundant with Ori’s constant chewing.
“It is too,” Kíli frowned.
“It’s not. You can’t just turn marriage off and leave it alone for a few months because you’re pissed at it.”
“Then what do you call it when one side gives the other the cold shoulder?” Kíli reasoned, rather smug that he’d thought of it so quickly.
“That’s…that’s….oh I don’t know!”
“It’s totally a game.”
“But…”
“I wouldn’t, Ori,” Fíli interrupted, “He’s stubborn when he’s had a drink, and on this you won’t be able to change his mind, it’s like arguing with a brick wall.”
Kíli beamed at Fíli, standing up only to plop down onto the blond’s lap, arms wrapped round his neck as he nuzzled the scruffy beard covered cheek.
“You know I’m right, don’t you, Fíli?” Kíli murmured.
“Course you are,” Fíli absently agreed, just about managing to save his pint, moving it to the table so he could wrap his arms around Kíli’s trim waist.
“Mmm, good,” Kíli purred, lips kissing a trail across Fíli’s cheek.
“Annnd that’s out cue to leave, come on Ori, I’m pretty sure Bofur’s left the quiz game thing on. If we can scrounge a couple of quid of someone, I’m sure we can entertain ourselves for a while,” Gimli said, grabbing the sleeve of Ori’s jumper and dragging him away before Kíli decided to get handsy.
“I think you scared them away,” Fíli chuckled, lips brushing against Kíli’s as he spoke.
“Good, means I’ve got you all to myself,” Kíli smiled, tongue flicking out to lap at Fíli’s lower lip before he drew him into a kiss.
They broke apart at a sudden drunken cheer, looking over to see Dwalin had sat Nori on the bar; the pair kissing rather enthusiastically, engagement ring twinkling in the light on Nori’s finger.
“D’you think we’ll find our own game one day?” Kíli asked, a wistful tone to his words as he watched the pair.
“Maybe.”
-x-
Three months after the engagement party found Fíli and Kíli sprawled in the sofa, Fíli propped up on the arm as Kíli leant against his chest. Empty pizza boxes and cans of pepsi littered the coffee table as Kíli flicked through Netflix trying to find something to watch.
“Kíli?”
“Yeah?”
“Remember when you said marriage was like a computer game?”
“Yeah?” Kíli answered again, turning to look at Fíli’s face at the slightly hesitant tone to the blond’s words.
“Well, I was, um, wondering,” Fíli started, wriggling slightly, reaching into the pocket of his baggy pyjama bottoms.
“Wondering what?” Kíli prompted.
“Well, would you like to start a new save with me?” Fíli asked, cheeks turning a light pink as he pulled a silver ring from his pocket.
“You…I…” Kíli stuttered, eyes wide as they flicked between Fíli’s face and the ring. “Yes! Oh my god, yes!”
Holding out his hand for Fíli to slide the ring on, Kíli practically vibrated with excitement. With the warm metal settled into place Kíli spun on the sofa to cover Fíli’s face in happy kisses, making the blond laugh.
“Just promise me our game will never be like Mario Kart,” Kíli demanded.
“I promise I won’t ever throw a blue shell at you, nor will I push you off a rainbow road,” Fíli grinned.
“Good,” Kíli said, smile melting from bright to sultry, “Now come on, I think I should try out your joystick.”
Groaning at the line, Fíli nevertheless allowed his fiancé to pull him up the stairs to bed, after all if Kíli got to play with his joystick, then it’s only fair he’d get to push Kíli’s buttons in response.