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It doesn’t matter the time, length, or amount of care Sam has put into getting better. Lucifer would always torment her.
His face burned into her memory like hot coals. A sickening smile and teasing voice, like all her suffering was just a game. And to him it probably was.
Her body shuddered, seizing as she tried to break free of bonds long since cut. Waking up in a cold sweat was her normal now, heart hammering and limbs weak. She couldn’t recall the last time her dreams had been about anything but him.
Tonight was the same, an ichor filled void greeting her the moment she dozed off. Sam stared into the abyss, surrounded by thick metallic bars, and waited. She knew he was coming, he always did. The ground rippled as he walked towards her.
“Obedient aren’t you?”
Her spine crawled like spiders.
“Really, you know how to make a man feel special”
He paced forwards, taking each step slowly to watch her flinch. Sam fought as hard as she could not to, but her body betrayed her as it often did. Her legs had gone numb. She fell to her knees.
“You look rounder than the last time I saw you. I take it my son is growing well”
He knelt down next to her, a breath away from her face. Lucifer’s hand outstretched like daggers and ghosted around her bump.
“He’s mine, you know. No matter what chicken shit tricks you think you can pull, he’s part of me”
He smiled.
“And like me, he can’t wait to see you get torn apart”
Lucifer stood, dragging his fingers across her chin as he rose. She tried to flinch away but her body remained frozen.
“Imagine the kind of power he’ll have, not even father’s cage would contain him. The destruction he will wrought… oh I can taste it”
The archangel’s jaw snapped like an alligator around its prey. Sam tried to stay numb, breath in, breath out, it’ll be over soon.
“But it’s not over, it will never be over. Mama’s boy is going to keep you in chains just as I would”
Lucifer stood behind her now, fingers tracing along her shoulders.
“It’s a shame he’ll never be me, I’d have loved to crawl out your chest and rip you apart”
His thumbs pressed into her spine, gliding lower and lower.
“But perhaps there’s still time”
His nails dug into her vertebrae, tugging at the skin. He let them cut her open, as if to vivisect her perfectly in half. Lucifer pressed himself to her back and let his hands cup at her ribs.
“I’d say we’d miss you, but honestly? I don’t think I’m gonna let you go”
His hands slid upwards to her breasts.
“It’d be too much a shame to get rid of alllllll this”
He hissed into her ear, nipping at it. Her mouth was full of bile.
“Father made you for me and why should I waste that?”
His nails dug into her skin as he unhinged his mouth to bite.
Sam shut her eyes, the only control she had left of her body, and waited. Waited for her jugular to rip open, for her bones to crack and pry. For Lucifer’s claws to pull her apart piece by piece, toying with her guts. For him to violate her like he loved doing so much. She would cry, but she ran out of tears almost a century ago. Something pressed against her back-
CAW
Sam’s eyes shot open.
She wasn’t in the cage anymore.
She was… in the library.
Not the bunker’s, no this was Stanford.
She was sitting in a familiar wooden chair and in front of her was a textbook.
She knew this book, it was one she studied with Jess. Her girlfriend had complained about a headache she got from all the convoluted text. They laughed and she held Sam’s hand. She remembered the way Jess had smiled at her, eyes shining with unmistakable desire. Love.
But Jess wasn’t here, no it was just Sam. Sam and… a bird. Small, black with a pair of golden eyes, it rested in the middle of the text.
CAW
It looked kinda like a crow, though a bit shrunken down. Sounded like one too, but its voice was too high pitched. Its eyes stared up at her, glowing from the light outside. The evening sun cast brilliant beams across the table. The bird stood, tilting its head.
Sam’s muscles flexed, the numbness fading as she began gaining control again. Her hands rose forward, shakily cupping around the bird. It did not shy away. It stood in her palms, warm and alive. It seemed content.
CAW
It’s tiny voice startled her, causing Sam to flinch. The bird reacted in kind, making itself smaller as if it… felt bad. She couldn’t place why but she felt it hadn’t meant to scare her. There was an air of innocence around it, a soft fuzzy feeling like a warm blanket. It looked at her with it’s head low in apology.
“It’s okay… you didn’t mean to”
Guilt remained in its eyes but it nuzzled against her thumbs. The animal looked so familiar… Sam swore she knew what it was. Not a crow, not a magpie, something smaller but still in that family. She rubbed her thumb against its face, watching it shut its eyes in content.
A Jackdaw, that’s what it was.
A small member of the corvid family and now her hand warmer.
The excess fear chipped away, spilling from her chest and turning the room into gold. She was in a pair of pajamas, baggy pants and shirt with fluffy socks. A blanket was draped over her and the chair was becoming softer. It melted down, slowly lowering her until she lay flat on her back, the jackdaw still in her hands. She was in the bunker now, inside her room. Despite this she knew she was still asleep thanks to the haze that surrounded every detail.
She let her arms drift to the side as her head lulled back onto pillows. The little bird hopped forward, making its way towards her neck. With a light plop the jackdaw nuzzled into her, ruffling its feathers as it made itself comfortable.
The light never got too dark, her blanket always stayed warm, her heart beat hard but her breathing slowed.
Sam felt what she could only describe as stardust scattering along her skin, forming a protective cocoon. A butterfly taking shape. She felt gooey and loved. A voice spoke to her, indiscernible in language and yet she understood.
“I’m with you”
She knew then who it was. The second beating heart inside her body. Her son. Her consciousness drifted into a golden ooze, turning into tingling pleasure as she finally fell asleep.
Lucifer didn’t come back that night.